A Heart of Ice

by Phoenix Briar

  She glances at me uneasily and then back at him before she seems to notice our appearance close up. “Ack! You are both covered in dirt and sweat!” she cries, yanking her hand away from him in dismay. She frowns at us both. “You are both a sore sight.” She heaves a sigh and shakes her head. “Well, if you’ve decided to be civil, we’re taking a meal to the shore to eat. Come eat.”

  “Of course,” Alistair exclaims just as I open my mouth. I shoot him a look, but he’s not paying the least bit of attention, grinning over at Cara like a damned fool. She gives him a curious look and then starts towards the shore.

  “Very well. You’re both taking a dip in the sea though before you touch our food.” I’ve already eaten, so I’m not the least bit hungry.

  Alistair, however chimes, “You’re more than welcome to feed it to me, lass.” He’s going to get himself killed.

  Sure enough, Cara shoots him a sour look and snips, “I’ll feed you something else if you keep that up.” He just grins and begins humming, following her and the children. I sigh.

  The shore, at least, is nice. Scarlet finds a flat enough boulder to set the basket on and sits down as Enté and Zsoka run to the shore with squeals. “Zsoka looks happy,” I hear Alistair say to her, watching the kids splash in the shallow water, Zsoka with absolute surprise on her face.

  Cara grins warmly, glancing to him and then back to the shore, “There are no oceans that border Inferno. Few of us have ever even seen the ocean.”

  Alistair looks surprised and glances back at her. “Have you?” he asks.

  Cara looks over at him with a shy smile and shakes her head. He seems surprised and then smiles. “Then this is a treat,” he says at last, seeming so damn happy with himself as I take a seat beside Cara, watching my son play with his Senai in the water. “Do you know how to swim?”

  I glance to Scarlet and see that she has nearly gone white. “Inferno do not swim,” she growls firmly.

  “Ah, now that, I do not believe,” Alistair replies with a smile, “I’ve yet to meet a woman who does not enjoy a hot bath.”

  Cara shuts her mouth and turns a fair shade of red before retorting dryly, “You should not be speaking of women naked in their baths.”

  “I didn’t say in the nude. That was you, my bonny lassie,” he replies in his usual manner, and she blushes darker and glares at him. Dear Chelyah, they’re both going to kill me.

  Zsoka suddenly wails, and Scarlet snaps immediately alert. I have been watching them, ignoring the two beside me, watching them splash and play. Enté has been playing and kicking water all over Zsoka, who is now screaming. “What’s the matter?” Cara calls, assessing the situation and beginning to relax a bit.

  “He splashed me!” Zsoka cries, and I glance to Enté who seems so confused and guilty, sulking not far.

  Cara stifles a laugh. “So splash him back, Zsoka!” Zsoka stops crying and looks over at Enté pitifully before kicking water on him. Then they both break out in grins and begin a splashing war. Cara and I both sigh and then look over at each other and laugh. I smile warmly at her, watching the sunlight on her warm skin, the breeze tangling in her copper hair and pulling it across her face.

  “Gabriel, you spoil all my fun,” Alistair complains bluntly.

  Cara looks back at him in confusion, and so I clear up, teasing, “Ah yes. Alistair here asked for permission to court you this morning.”

  Cara’s face turns to astonishment, and she looks right at me, glaring. “I hope you had good enough sense not to answer him,” she retorts.

  I laugh. “Of course.”

  Cara snarls over at Alistair who is giving me a rotten look. “Unlike the women here in Cerulean and apparently Flora as well, where I come from, a woman does not belong to anyone.”

  He laughs and then says, “Well, how then, my lovely, does a man from Inferno tell a woman that he is interested in her and seeks to know her better?”

  At that, Scarlet blushes, but then her face falls, and her eyes move away from us both. “He does not…” she says softly. Alistair seems curious, and Cara looks back up at him and gives him a small, sad smile. I glare at Alistair for bringing up such a painful subject and take Cara’s hand, squeezing it gently. She looks over at me and smiles reassuringly, before looking back to Alistair. “In Inferno, the children are betrothed at a very young age. I was a newborn when I was betrothed to my Dai’lyn who was a few years older…”

  “And…your Dai’lyn died?” he asks, a bit serious.

  She gives a single nod. “When we were young…I told him not to go. He had leave to stay home but…he went anyways…”

  Now this I have never heard before. “You never spoke of this, Cara…why did he not stay?”

  She shrugs. “His father had died shortly before…I suppose he wanted revenge…I can understand that.”

  Alistair puzzles and asks, “Well, why did he have leave to stay? Was he injured?”

  Cara swallows, and I watch her closely, catching the pulse pounding in her throat, her short breaths. “No…” she answers softly, and for a moment, I do not think she will speak again. “Because…I was with child…” Neither Alistair nor I say a word. Cara shakes her head, shakes away the tears, clearing her throat and standing. With a short laugh, she says, “Don’t touch that food until you’ve washed.” She turns and runs after the two little ones, joining in their play. Alistair and I watch her for a moment before we finally look at each other. Alistair looks guiltily at me, like a kicked pup, and I just sigh and drag myself to my feet.

  Chapter Forty Seven

  Scarlet

  I do not enjoy speaking of things long past and gone, and I rather dislike them being brought up again. I suppose that I could have always lied or refused to answer, but then that would have only made things worse. I know Gabriel well enough to know that he will leave me alone, at least for now, but I know not of Alistair. He amuses me, but he also annoys me greatly. I can never decide if he is serious or merely in jest, and accusing him of either will lead to his defense of the other. I would call him facetious except I do not think he means harm, and so I will simply settle with calling him irksome and unpredictable.

  The children are exhausted after their play. They wore themselves out thoroughly and collapse as soon as I get them inside, bathed, and changed. They’re in the other room now, Zsoka wrapped up in a cocoon of covers and Enté snuggled against her with no covers at all and only a pair of pants. At least this weather is mild enough that while both Inferno and Crystalice suffer some discomfort, neither race is severely bothered.

  I, on the other hand, am still recovering, which is why I decided to stoke a fire in my room and why I sit before it now. I bathed the salt off my skin and changed into a long-sleeved cotton dress and slacks underneath. It’s not really anything appropriate to go out in—at least not in this country—but it’s comfortable for me now. I rub my face and sigh wearily, staring into the fire. There are a few hours yet until dinner and longer still until nightfall, but my body aches, and my mind is almost numb.

  We haven’t spoken of it—Gabriel and I—but we both know that something is going to change…and I only wish I knew what. He and Enté are the only things keeping me anchored here. I stayed because of them. Because I love them. Because I cannot leave. But…if I should part with them…I will have nothing to anchor me here. But I also have no place to go…Inferno is my home—my birthplace—but…what is left for me there either? Will I join the army again and take up arms against men like Ckai’ten and Claque? Would I slay Petara’s husband, Bronx’s father? What of Heather’s children?

  I bury my face in my hands and sigh heavily, clenching my eyes tightly and feeling tears behind the lids. In my hands, I clutch the wooden wolf, Fenrir, that Tam gave me. For the first time in my life…I am lost…

  There is a soft knock at my door, and I pick my head up. I rub my face and ask wearily, “Who is it?”

  A moment of hesitation and then, “It is only I…”

  Gabriel.r />
  I sigh and look down at my knees, trying to decide if I wish to speak with him or not. It couldn’t hurt. “Enter.” He pushes the door open quietly, slowly, and he steps inside with his head down and his shoulders slumped. My heart kicks up in alarm, and I scramble to my feet as he pushes the door closed. “Gabriel…what—”

  “It is the White Fang…” he says wearily, and I notice a piece of parchment in his hand. I go to him and touch his arm with one hand, taking the letter with the other. Before I can read it, he unveils its contents: “They’ve been mostly harmless…protests in the streets…things of that nature. When we left, they had started attacking royal caravans… which is why I insisted upon the plain carriage and the small party…but now…”

  “What have they done?” I ask, my voice barely higher than a whisper, and I touch his face. He flinches from the heat, his cheek chilly beneath my hand, but then he rests the weight of it against my palm and looks at me with pale, empty eyes.

  “They grabbed Tam in the market…no one noticed he was missing until nightfall…they found him the next morning…” I snatch my hand back and cover my mouth with it, backing away from him and shaking my head slowly. No…no… “He had a stake in his chest…pinning a piece of paper with ‘traitor’ written on it…hundreds of people saw it…”

  I can do nothing but stare at him as he stands by the door. I find the hearth once again and hit my knees. Gabriel jumps, moving towards me, but when he sees that I am fine, he hesitates to go too near the fire. Instead, I sit on my knees, my hands holding me up as I stare at the wooden floor. Tears drip from my eyes and lashes. Some run down my nose and drop from the tip of it. My world spins and blurs, and I choke out a sob.

  This is my fault…it was because Heather was helping me. Because she took care of me. Because he protected me. They killed him because of me.

  “Gabriel…” I cry, covering my face with my hand and gasping in a breath before crying again.

  He watches me for a moment, caught up in his own pain, bottled up inside of him. Finally, he goes to the bed and grabs the quilt, pulling it off. He sits down against the bed, some distance from the fire, and he lays the quilt over him. “Come here, Cara…” he says softly. I look up at him past my tears and sputter out another cry before going to him. He wraps me up in the quilt, protecting me from his cold and he from my heat. He holds me there, laying his head on mine as I sob uncontrollably against his shoulder, and after a moment, I can feel him trembling as well. He buries his face in my copper hair and sucks in little breaths, shaking against me. His arms tighten, and I nestle myself against him, bundled up in the quilt.

  There is another knock, soft, and I pick up my head, having quieted some. “W-Who is it?” I call, a tremor in my voice from my shaking.

  “Scarlet?” Alistair asks. “Are you alright, lass? It’s Alistair. The children are out here too.”

  I sniffle and rub my face clean. With a muffled voice, I say, “Come in.” I do not mind showing the children that adults feel pain and hurt too, but I never want them to feel like we are ever out of control. They need us to be in control, to protect them, to make them think the world is a safe place.

  Alistair opens the door, and Gabriel picks his head up from my shoulder and watches Alistair stand there with Zsoka and Enté looking inward timidly. I smile faintly, sadly. “It’s okay…come on in, my little loves.”

  Zsoka and Enté head towards us hesitantly, and Alistair steps inside, shutting the door quietly. I open the quilt for Zsoka to snuggle up with me, and Enté sits beside us. Gabriel wraps an arm around him and hugs him to us in our little bundle of misery while Alistair stands awkwardly by the door. Normally, I might care, but it hurts too much right now, and my brain is in a fog. “What’s tha matter?” Zsoka asks softly, reaching up and wiping some tears off my face. It’s somewhat of an uncomfortable feeling, for her hands are small and clammy, but it’s sweet and it makes me smile a little.

  “One of our friends has died…” I say softly.

  “Oh…” She sits quietly again, laying her cheek against my chest.

  Gabriel is alarmingly quiet for a while before looking to Alistair. Alistair understands more than the children, and he watches us both, looking for some sort of answer. But there is nothing more we can say. The four of us sit there and hold each other, and only Gabriel and I feel the finite limit to our time together. The children lay innocently against us, quiet and unsure of what is happening. It is not merely Tam’s death that has us frightened. The White Fang are growing bolder and more aggressive. They’ve moved from petty disputes to vandalism and now…to murder. Things are spinning out of control.

  After a moment, I sigh and unwrap Zsoka, kissing her brow. “The adults need to talk…” I say softly to her. “Can you and Enté go play outside?”

  Zsoka watches me quietly. “Okay…” And she begins to get up, Enté as well. Gabriel and I sit up, watching them both.

  “Stay away from the cliffs,” Gabriel says softly to Enté.

  “And away from Lady Cynthia,” I warn, giving a little nod to Zsoka.

  “What about Miss Heather?” Enté asks. “Can she come play too?”

  I wince, and I feel Gabriel suck in a breath. “For right now…go play on your own, alright?” Heather doesn’t know yet…I don’t know when Gabriel plans on telling her, either. It is not safe for her in Crystalice anymore. My thoughts go to Mairi, her pregnant daughter, and Delana, who is barely ten.

  I am quiet for too long, and a heavy silence fills the room as the children get up. “Come on, babes,” Alistair says with a grin and opens the door. “Go on out and play.”

  I look up at Alistair and say softly, “Will you…ask one of our guards to keep watch over them?” There are people everywhere, so I do not really worry for them, even as young as they are. I just…I want to make sure someone is specifically watching over them.

  “Aye,” he says with a nod. “O’course.” And he steps out of the room for a moment, leaving Gabriel and I alone in our silence. Gabriel’s arms go around me again after a moment, and he buries his face against my neck, just breathing quietly.

  I can feel him sweating, though, so I sigh and kiss his brow before sliding out of his hold. I leave the quilt where it lay and return to the fire, sitting inches from it and wrapping my arms around my legs. Gabriel puts the quilt back on the bed and goes to the balcony, opening the doors and letting in a fresh, cool breeze where he basks. I watch him, sitting before the fire. I cannot fathom what goes through his mind.

  “Why…” I say softly, “Why are they doing this?”

  He sighs a long, slow sigh and rubs his face, not looking at me. “Many reasons…Do not blame yourself. You are only one small piece of their anger. They are tired of war, and food is scarce…they decided it was better to attack their own people than go to war with the enemy…” He looks back at me and gives a small, apologetic smile. I shake my head. I understand. He sighs and looks outside once more. “Tell me, Cara…is Inferno just as bad off?”

  I look at him for a moment, wanting to assure him that Inferno suffers as well, that our people grow restless and only fear of my father keeps them in their place. People are tired of dying, tired of losing sons and fathers and husbands. Food is always hard to come by for a country so populated as ours and with people who eat as often as us. But I shake my head at him and say somberly, “I will not speak of Inferno…” I cannot, not even to ease his fear.

  He smiles faintly, unoffended. “I have told you of our trials.”

  I give him a sour look. “I cannot go running home to tell the armies. What am I going to do with the information? You are the Crown Prince and a very competent military strategist.”

  He nods slowly. “Point taken.” Sighing, his eyes go back to the blue sky and what might be a rain storm on the horizon. “You could…you know…”

  My eyes are on the fire at my side, flickering and dancing wistfully. “Could what?” I ask glumly.

  “Run home…”


  I look over at him, frowning. He doesn’t look at me. “It is not as though I guard you carefully any longer…it would be easy…and you are healthy. You could cross through Flora and hide in Inferno territory until you reach an army or the Den…”

  I study him in silence for a long moment, then turn my head away to look at the fire once more. “I could…”

  “Why haven’t you?” his voice is soft, but frustrated. I can hear it. I glance to him. Does he want me to run away? To escape this place and go home? I can’t make sense of him in this mood.

  I watch him, although it is impossible to know what he is thinking when his back is to me. So I lay my chin on my knees. “I almost did once…at Petara’s banquet…”

  “Out in the gardens?” he asks, turning to look at me. I am watching the fire again.

  “Yes…”

  He hesitates. “And…the only reason you stayed was… the attacker?”

  I smile faintly. I’m tempted to tell him yes. “No…I was planning on Shifting and jumping the wall. I got partly undressed but…I changed my mind and started pulling my gloves back on when he hit me…”

  He stands in the glow of the fading sunlight, and beyond him, I can hear the scream of a seagull and the crash of the heady waves against the rocks below. “What stopped you?”

  My eyes linger on the fire, but I turn my head after a moment and look up to him, standing there with his white hair tied behind him and dressed in a silver doublet and gray pants. “You.” He shows no reaction to me. Nothing. Only watches me quietly, listening to my words, and I turn my face to the fire once again. “You and Enté…”

  After a moment, he sighs. “And…if we were not with you?”

  I close my eyes, the flames at my face, the faint breeze against my legs. It rustles through my hair, and I lean closer to the fire. “I do not know…”

  Chapter Forty Eight

  Gabriel

  There is another quiet knock, but Alistair does not wait for permission before opening the door and slipping inside. He looks to us, his expression pensive but not quite as somber as mine and Cara’s. He clears his throat a bit and says, “I’ve got two guards keeping eyes on the children. They’re out in the courtyard running around.”