Aries Rising

by Bonnie Hearn Hill

  28

  AS YOU NEAR THE END OF THIS BOOK, CONGRATULATE YOURSELF ON LEARNING THE BASICS OF ASTROLOGY. BY NOW, YOU HAVE BEGUN TO TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE. ASTROLOGY IS NOT EXACT, THOUGH, AND THE MORE WE LEARN, THE LARGER OUR POTENTIAL FOR ERROR. THAT’S NO REFLECTION ON YOU. WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER SETBACKS—AND YOU WILL—DON’T GIVE UP. JUST GO BACK TO BASICS.

  —Fearless Astrology

  Maybe that’s what I needed to do. Go back to basics. Maybe I’d bounced too rapidly from Sun signs to Moons, trines, and, worst of all, predictions.

  The rumors about Frankenstein and Snider spread through the school. On both of their classroom doors the next day, matching posters proclaimed: “Gears Rule.”

  “I hate this Gears stuff,” I told Chili and Paige. “Among other things, I didn’t call it, and it’s going to back up Kat’s claim that I’m a phony.”

  “No one can be right all the time,” Chili said. “You were spot-on about Trevor.”

  “And Hunter.” Paige smiled and hugged herself. “He may be an Aries, but he’s a sweet one.”

  Obviously, their evening had been better than mine. What had gone wrong? Why hadn’t the book taught me what to do when understanding astrology wasn’t enough to understand life?

  “How’d it go with you?” Chili asked.

  “Not so great.”

  “Why?” Paige asked.

  “Nathan freaked out about the Gears. I really thought the attack would be Monday, the twenty-fifth. That’s when the big disturbance was supposed to occur.”

  “Maybe something will happen then,” Chili said.

  “I don’t know. I don’t trust myself anymore.”

  Before they could protest—and they were ready to—Kat rushed up and put her face close to mine.

  She smelled of mouthwash and strawberry shower gel.

  “Hey, Astro Bitch,” she said, eyes flashing. “Withdraw my request for a chart, okay?”

  “You already have been withdrawn,” I told her. “Why are you even in school after what you pulled?”

  “I told the vice principal Charles tripped over the paintbrush.” She crossed her hands over her chest, crazy as ever. “I also explained that you were the one making wild claims and disrupting the drama kids.”

  “That’s a lie,” I said.

  “Of course, but no one will back you up. Everyone’s talking about what a loser you are.”

  “You’re the loser, Kat.”

  Before I could add, You lost Trevor, Dina Coulter shoved herself between us.

  “Kat’s right,” Dina said, and tucked a limp strand of black hair behind her ear. “Take me off the list too, Logan. If you knew all you said you do, you would have warned us about what was going to happen after drama. And you would have known the Gears would mess up your column too.” Before I could respond, Dina turned to wave at a passing freshman. “Hi, Tiff,” she said. “If you want to opt out of the astrology drawing, you can do it here.”

  Tiff opted out. So did Jared. Chili had been right in the first place. In spite of his looks, he was a drone.

  “Sorry,” he said. “I know you were my first girlfriend and all, but I’ve got to do this.”

  “Not really your first girlfriend,” I said. “You were hanging out with Kat that same summer in junior high, weren’t you?”

  The blush on his face deepened.

  “Like I said, sorry.” He shrugged. “But no way do I want my name on your list.”

  “What’s the matter?” I said. “Afraid the stars will predict that your perfect match is an airhead just like you?”

  He took off before I could think of anything else.

  J.T. was next. “Hey, Logan,” he said, towering over me. “Disappear, will you?”

  “You’ll have to be more specific,” I said.

  “Take me out of that phony astro drawing, McRae.” He smirked and raked his dark hair out of his eyes. “Kat was right about you the whole time.”

  It continued all day. Most of the kids who’d signed up for a free chart now no longer wanted one. They stopped me in the hall, looked me up in the library and the restroom.

  Only Sol, the Texan, who hadn’t signed up before, announced to everyone around us, “Put me on that list of yours, Logan.”

  He, Charles Bellamy, and I shared a large table in journalism. No one else came near. On my way outside after class, Geneva caught up with me.

  “Bummer,” she said.

  Maybe I’d been wrong about her. Our Sun signs were trined, after all. Perhaps our only problem was that we wanted the same boy and the same Monterey fellowship.

  Frankenstein asked me to meet with him after the last class. He looked almost cute without his glasses, in his starched little shirt. When had he started wearing white shirts instead of polo pullovers?

  “Just wanted you to know that I’m sorry about what’s going on,” he said. “You’re a good kid. The Gears’ little poster was outrageous. But it doesn’t define me, Logan, not for a moment. Don’t let it define you.”

  “But everyone thinks I’m a phony,” I said. “Mr. Franklin, is what happened going to hurt my chances at the fellowship?”

  “Of course not. You’re a finalist, and that’s that. The rest will be based on recommendations, and most of all, the writing.”

  We talked a little longer, and I started to feel better. True, I wasn’t able to predict the next Gears attack. But Frankenstein hadn’t turned against me.

  I walked out of his classroom toward the parking lot.

  Nathan was standing in front of the Honda. When he spotted me, he grinned and opened his arms. I walked over to him.

  “You didn’t give up on me,” I said, and fought the tears I could feel filling my eyes.

  “Of course not. You didn’t guess the date, but there had to be a reason for it. Maybe I distracted you.”

  “You didn’t,” I said. “Somehow I just missed it.”

  “Don’t blame yourself. You’ll only make the Gears happier, and they don’t deserve that.”

  We drove around and got something to eat. Later on, when I was calmer, Nathan parked by the river, and we sat there holding hands. Half hidden by the fog, the moon was soft and shimmery, like a slice of yellow melon in the sky.

  “I was wrong.” I looked up into his eyes. “I never should have convinced myself that I could do this stuff.”

  “You didn’t know.” He squeezed my hand, but I wasn’t sure about his eyes. Were they so miserable looking because of me or something else? “I still believe in your abilities, Logan.”

  “You do?”

  He nodded. “Trevor’s liked Chili since sophomore year. I know you didn’t invent fake charts the way Kat said.”

  “I took all of the information straight from the book,” I told him. “Chili and Trevor are compatible. Kat and he are not. For that matter, Kat and anyone probably are not.”

  “And I still want you to do my mom’s chart.”

  “Well, lucky for you I’ve got some openings. People aren’t exactly standing in line for my services these days.”

  “I’d stand in line for you any day.” His arms went around me. We hugged each other tightly, my head against his sweater, smelling the warmth and the soapy scent I loved. He made me feel that way, that I did have him, that I was protected and somehow safe just as long as he held me like this.

  Then we kissed longer and with more passion than we ever had before.

  He cared about me, no matter what anyone else thought. And, oh, did I care about him.

  “I need to go home,” I whispered.

  Still holding me, he said, “Can I ask you something really personal, Logan?”

  “Of course.”

  “It’s about compatibility.”

  I pulled away and looked up at him. “What about it?”

  “You and me, I mean.”

  Oh, no. He was asking if he and I were compatible. I could not tell him that I’d been salivating over his chart for weeks.

  “Actually, we are.” I
tried to keep my tone of voice detached, but it was pretty difficult. “In case you didn’t notice.”

  “I noticed, all right.” Even in the dark, I could see those turquoise eyes. “Somebody said my best match was supposed to be a Libra.”

  Geneva. So much for my kind thoughts about her today. She would stoop to anything to get him. At least I hadn’t lied to her about the compatibility of Leo and Libra.

  “There is no best match,” I blurted out, “especially not if there’s a lot of Virgo in the Libra’s chart.”

  “Do all Libras have that?”

  Caught. His expression was innocent. He didn’t know I’d tripped myself up.

  “No,” I said. “I was just thinking that a Libra with Virgo would be a bad combination for you. Especially with your mom being a Virgo. You have enough of that energy in your life.”

  “Oh, yeah,” he finally said. “How do you know if a Libra has that combination?”

  “Just ask. People are almost always proud of what they are.” Especially Geneva.

  “Even when it’s bad?”

  “Usually, yeah. Even then.”

  “Don’t look so sad,” he said. “Everything is going to work out. You still have your friends. You still have me.”

  “Now you’re the one trying to cheer me up,” I said.

  “Nathan, you’re the best.”

  “Why shouldn’t I try to cheer you up?” He looked confused.

  This wasn’t the time to explain about male fire signs and what they needed from their girlfriends.

  “I just appreciate it,” I said. “That’s all I meant.”

  “I want to be here for you.” He kissed me again. “I meant it when I said I believe in you. And I don’t think you’re going to lose your Star Crossed column either.”

  “Lose my column?” I repeated. “Where’d you hear that?”

  “No one. I mean, nowhere.” He shifted in his seat, bit his lip. “I can’t remember where I heard it,” he finally said. “But I don’t believe it.”

  Leo, I thought, you are such a terrible liar.

  NOTES TO SELF

  Nathan was wrong. I am no longer writing the astrology column for the paper. Snider was kind in the way that those dealing out doom can afford to be. “Nothing to do with you, Logan. We just feel that, considering the circumstances, it’s best if we stop the column until the Gears are caught. Geneva is willing to step in for now with a teacher column of her own. It’s best for us to play it safe. Don’t you agree?” Oh, yes, Snider. I agree all right. Give Geneva my column. Give her anything but my Monterey fellowship. I want that now more than ever.

  29

  AS YOU’VE LEARNED, THERE’S NO REASON TO FEAR ASTROLOGY. HOWEVER, YOU MUST ALSO BE FEARLESS ABOUT LOVE AND LIFE. BE FEARLESS IN YOUR CHOICES. HEED YOURSELF AS MUCH OR MORE THAN YOU HEED THE INFORMATION PROVIDED HERE. REMEMBER, AS STATED EARLIER, THAT ASTROLOGY IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE. STUDY THE STARS, BUT TRUST YOUR HEART.

  —Fearless Astrology

  I know Nathan heard the news from Geneva. No wonder she looked so sympathetic when she said, “Bummer.” I was no longer a threat to her, if I ever was. No, all she felt now was pity. I hated that almost as much as I hated the knowing looks of disgust everyone else was giving me. At least I was invisible before. Now I was visible and pathetic. I so wanted to trust the zodiac, but I didn’t know how.

  FRANKENSTEIN MUST DIE.

  It took a moment for the spray-painted message on that familiar administration office wall to grab my attention. the Gears had gone so far and so crazy that the police made a visit to our campus. Didn’t the members of the Gears know that threatening a teacher’s life wasn’t the same as streaking through a bunch of backyards?

  FRANKENSTEIN MUST DIE. I wanted to talk to someone I trusted. I wanted my mom. Although she said I could call anytime, I couldn’t, not while she was facing some tough competition on the weekend.

  As I headed down the hall that morning, no one seemed to care about the sign. Kat kept grinning like an orthodontic poster child. Dina kept saying, “Hi, Morgan. Hi, Michael. Hi, Sol. Hi, Malik,” as if repeating a multicultural telephone book from memory.

  “Hi, Chili. Hi, Trevor.” Dina stopped for a moment, almost choking as she realized she’d recited the wrong names and far too close together, at that.

  “Hi, yourself, lame ass,” Chili said.

  She and Trevor stood holding hands. They looked as if they belonged together. He wasn’t tall, but neither was Chili. His gold-brown curls and her long highlighted hair seemed to blend together in a sunny mass.

  As if knowing I was watching her, Chili looked up at me and said, “You’re having dinner at my house tonight. My dad will know what to do about that threat.”

  “He will,” Trevor echoed.

  Perfect couple. A Gemini and an audience.

  Nathan said we needed to talk after school that night, so we met at Java & Jazz. Hunter wasn’t there, which again made me wonder what the cute tattooed Aries Paige adored was really doing when he wasn’t at work. He and Paige had gone out a couple of times. I shouldn’t judge when I didn’t know anything about Hunter except that he was a fire sign who missed work now and then.

  I reached into my backpack and shoved a folder across the small table.

  “Here’s your mom’s chart, Nathan.”

  He looked down at it as if it were a filet mignon, and he a carnivore who hadn’t eaten in a week.

  “I can’t,” he finally said.

  “Why not?”

  He couldn’t seem to meet my eyes.

  “I can’t see you anymore.” He made it sound like one drawn-out ugly word. Although I knew the meaning in my brain, I needed to feel it in my heart.

  “Could you repeat that, Nathan?”

  “I can’t see you anymore.” He pushed the folder back toward me. “Can’t take this chart from you either.”

  I felt tears spring into my eyes, then reached up and wiped them away. “And so because you don’t want to go out with me, you don’t want the chart I did either?”

  “It’s not about what I want. I just can’t.”

  So my Nathan fantasy was over. When I looked into his eyes, I saw the same caring there. A pure Leo, too uncomfortable to be telling the truth.

  I put my hand over his. “Tell me what’s really going on,” I said.

  “I already told you. It has to be over.”

  I felt a surge of ridiculous hope. If it was over, that meant there was an it to begin with, on his part as well as mine.

  “Who says it has to be over? Just tell me what’s wrong.”

  “There’s nothing to tell.” He pushed back his chair, picked up the full cup, and tossed it into the trash receptacle behind him.

  That was a first; the coffee had cost him more than a gallon of gas. I understood, though, because I didn’t want mine either. Coffee has a happy smell, and happy didn’t make sense right now. I watched Nathan stand and realized that he thought this conversation was over.

  “Wait a minute.”

  He stopped and settled back in his chair. “I told you, Logan—”

  “You told me what, but you haven’t told me why.” Nothing to risk now. I’d already lost him. I picked up my equally full coffee cup and sent it sailing over the table and through the opening of the receptacle. I hoped it crashed into his.

  His eyes widened. I could see him trying to hide a smile. “Good shot,” he muttered.

  “So tell me,” I said. “Did you just fall out of whatever you were in with me? Or are you just unable to live with the fact that everyone else in school hates me?”

  “It’s not that.” He looked down as if forgetting that he no longer had a cup beneath him.

  “What, then? Please say something so that I don’t make a complete fool of myself.”

  Was I wrong, or did I spot the glimmer of another smile here? “Maybe we can get back together later,” he said. “I just need a time-out. I don’t want to give you up, though.”

  I co
uldn’t imagine feeling more humiliated than I did at that moment.

  “So when would you like to see me again?” I asked. “Three years from now? Five? Maybe at the twenty-fifth high school reunion?”

  “Stop it, will you?” He licked his lips as if making up new lies with every flick of his tongue. “I’ll see you in school, of course, but I’ll be graduating in less than two months, Logan. Maybe we can get together in June at Chili’s folks’ place at the lake. Like last year.”

  June. Two months from now.

  “Fun idea,” I said sarcastically.

  We hadn’t been a couple last year. All that had happened were a few late-night swim parties. And, of course, that little matter of Chili stealing Trevor’s hoodie.

  “That’s when I knew I wanted to go out with you,” he said. “You were so hot, Logan. I can still see you in that swimsuit.”

  So much for boys and their memories. I’d been in my shorts and a tank top that week.

  “What swimsuit?” I asked.

  “The blue one, you know.” He flashed me a lazy smile. “You are so hot in those low cut things.”

  “Nathan.” I realized that I was whispering. “I’ve never worn the suit you just described anywhere but Chili’s.”

  “Wrong,” he said. “I’ve seen you in it.”

  “Only if you’ve been to her house. I keep it there. I’ve never worn it anywhere else.”

  We stared at each other for a moment. I tried to figure it out. He was breaking up with me. But he’d also just confessed that he’d seen me in a suit that only the naked boys streaking through Chili’s backyard could have seen.

  “Oh, Nathan,” I said. “You’re one of the Gears. You are, aren’t you?”

  “No.”

  “You are. I know it. The only way you could have seen me in that suit would be in Chili’s backyard that night the Gears showed up.”

  He sat for a moment. “I’m not,” he finally said. “Not anymore. I haven’t been for a long time.”

  As I rushed for the door, I realized that Dina and Kat had been watching us from across the room. They laughed loudly as I passed them. I didn’t slow down.