by Diane Zahler
“Da, no!” Bell cried. Tibby turned again to look at them.
“Hush, hush,” Da cautioned.
“No,” Maya agreed. “We cannot leave. We must try to help Bell. We will be leaving part of him behind if we go now.”
“Maya love,” Da began, but she shook her head.
“We must try,” she said again. She was determined. Mattie knew that it was nearly impossible to change Maya’s mind once she’d made it up.
“Why would Master Morogh want to be able to disappear?” Mattie asked. “What does he need it for?”
Da shook his head. “I dinna know. It can be useful, disappearing. Maybe he did it just because he could. Or maybe it’s only his first move.”
“You mean he wants … more?” Mattie thought of Julietta, and Selena, and all the others. “Which ones does he want?”
“Well, think on it,” Da said. “Which ones would give him the most power?”
Making illusions appear. Telling the future. Mind reading. Mattie shivered. “Maya’s?” she said, low. “Mine?”
“You’d both do well to stay away from him until we figure this out,” Da instructed.
Maya grimaced. “We cannot let him think we’re afraid of him. We should just confront him. Tell him what we know. Tell him he has to give it back.”
“Nay, love,” Da said gently. “What do you know about his kind? You said they were in India as well. What would happen if we confronted one of them?”
For a moment Maya looked frightened, and that just about scared Mattie to death. Nothing frightened Maya. What were they up against?
Tibby let out a squeal—her tower had collapsed again—and Mattie turned to help her. Bell leaned against Maya, his face a mask of misery. Mattie wondered if she was reading his future again as she held him, and what she saw. It was terrible to see Bell like that. He was her little brother, and she was in charge of him. She wanted to pound her own fists on the table, but instead she clenched them tightly in her lap.
They didn’t go out to join the others at the bonfire later that evening, and Selena knocked at their door to find out why.
“Bell isn’t feeling well,” Mattie told her. “Maybe the flu. You shouldn’t come in.”
“Oh, poor guy,” she said. “Can you come out, though?”
“I’m really tired.” Mattie wanted to go, to get away from the sense of dread inside the wagon, but she didn’t feel like she should.
“Come on. Just for a little while?”
“Can I go?” she asked Da and Maya.
“No, you must stay here,” Maya said. “It is not a good idea.”
“I wouldn’t go to the bonfire,” Mattie said. She knew Master Morogh might be there.
“Oh, please!” Selena begged. “We’ll just go to my wagon. Just for a little while.”
“It’ll do no harm, love,” Da said to Maya.
Frowning, Maya gave in. “Go ahead then, Mattie. Only to the Silvas’ wagon, and only for an hour. And remember what we said.”
“Stop nagging me!” Mattie groaned.
She changed her clothes quickly and left the wagon. “Be careful!” Da called behind her, echoing Maso’s warning. He didn’t have to worry. There was no way she’d get anywhere near Master Morogh.
The girls walked among the wagons, passing by the tigers. Mattie gave them a little wave, and it seemed almost like Hasha lifted her paw in reply.
In Selena’s wagon, they pulled down one of the lower bunks and sat cross-legged on it. Selena brought out a bag of makeup and painted Mattie’s face, putting glittery eye shadow on her lids and bright fuchsia lipstick on her mouth. Mattie jumped up to look in the bathroom mirror when it was done, hoping she’d look grown-up. But she just looked like her old self, only with way-too-dramatic makeup on.
“I look like one of the clowns. I’m not the makeup type,” Mattie said. She rubbed at the lipstick with a tissue. It seemed wrong to be playing around with Selena like this.
“Sure you are,” Selena said. “You just need some that’s not so sparkly. We don’t have any like that, though. It doesn’t show up from the ring if it’s not really bright.”
Mattie sighed. “I have to go back,” she said.
“What’s wrong, Mattie?” Selena’s face was anxious. “You look really upset. Are you in a fight with your mom or something?”
“It’s not that,” Mattie said, and suddenly she wanted to tell her friend everything. Selena already knew about Mattie’s talent. What difference could it possibly make? She sat back down on Selena’s bunk. “It’s Bell.”
Selena’s eyes widened. “Is he really sick? Does he have to go to the hospital?”
“No. He’s sick, in a way. But it’s not like a real sickness.”
“What do you mean?”
Mattie twisted her hands in her lap. “Bell’s like me, sort of.”
“He is? He reads minds, too?”
“No. He … disappears. Just like I read minds, and Da makes things materialize, and Maya sees the future.” As soon as the words were out, Mattie regretted them. Oh, she was going to be in so much trouble!
Selena’s mouth dropped open. “You all do stuff? You can really do what it says on your sign? But—but you told me the others couldn’t. You lied to me.”
“I know,” Mattie said miserably. “I’m really sorry. I had to. Can you understand why?”
Selena nodded slowly. “I guess I can. It’s your family. You were protecting them, right?”
Mattie felt a rush of relief. She did understand.
“Wait, what about Tibby?”
“She levitates. Goes up in the air.”
Selena gave a little squeak. “I saw Bell’s act. I saw him disappear! You mean he really does it? He just vanishes?” She bounced on the bunk bed mattress in excitement.
“Yes. Well, not anymore.”
“What do you mean? What happened?”
Mattie lowered her voice. “We think it was Master Morogh. We think he took Bell’s talent.”
Selena stared at her. “How?”
“He hypnotized Bell.”
Selena covered her mouth with a hand, then took it away.
“Oh no,” she whispered.
Mattie had to ask, though she was pretty sure she knew the answer. “Did he ever hypnotize you?”
“It was just for a minute,” Selena said. “I’m not even sure what happened.”
“When?”
“Thursday morning. Remember? Master Morogh said he wanted to check to see if the metronome was set right. He told me to watch it.”
“What did he do?”
“I don’t remember,” Selena said. “But I felt weird afterward. Kind of sick and dizzy.”
“I think he took your gracefulness when you were hypnotized,” Mattie said.
“My gracefulness? What do you mean?”
“You missed the somersault on Thursday. It had to have been right after he hypnotized you. You haven’t been able to do it since then, have you? And—and he walks like you now.”
Selena’s eyes filled with tears. “I keep bumping into things,” she said in a low voice. “And I twisted my ankle at rehearsal yesterday. Mom and Dad won’t even let me on the trapeze. Does this mean I’ll never be able to do my act again?”
Mattie put her hand over Selena’s, forgetting, and felt a wave of her friend’s distress.
“But if he wanted that, why wouldn’t he do it to Sofia? She’s way better than I am.”
“I don’t know. Maybe he wanted to be sure she could perform. She’s a big draw, with the hoop and all. And it’s not just Bell and you. He took Julietta’s voice, I’m sure of it.”
Selena nodded slowly. “That’s why he was singing her song at the bonfire. The one about the clown, remember? She used to sing it all the time. But … why is he doing this? What’s his plan?”
“I think it’s really my talent he wants,” Mattie said.
“Oh, Mattie.” Selena reached out to put an arm around Mattie’s shoulders, but Matti
e pulled away. “That would be terrible! But why? What would he do with it?”
Mattie shrugged. “I don’t know, exactly. I mean, use your imagination. What couldn’t he do, if he read people’s minds?”
Selena thought for a minute. “He could find out their secrets. Blackmail them.”
“Yes,” Mattie said. “He could make them do what he wants. Everyone’s got secrets to hide. Everyone.”
Mattie could see Selena gauging her own secrets, wondering what the ringmaster would do with them.
“And you wouldn’t have your talent anymore,” she said. Mattie stood up. “Well, that might not be so bad,” she said. “In fact, that might be kind of great.”
Selena shook her head. “Mattie, I know it’s hard for you,” she said. “But still, your talent—it’s part of you. I feel so strange without my grace. I don’t really feel like myself at all. And that’s not a huge thing like your mind reading. What would you be like if it were gone?” Her lip trembled, and Mattie felt her own tears rising.
“I don’t know,” Mattie admitted. “I don’t know.” Would she be like Bell, sad and hopeless? Or would she be glad to be like everyone else?
She left then, nervously looking around to be sure Master Morogh was nowhere in sight. She could hear the sounds of music and laughter from the back yard. Everyone was still celebrating. And then she heard something that made her clench her fists even as a shiver ran through her: the high, clear tones of a song. She couldn’t make out the words, but she recognized the sound. It was Master Morogh again. And Mattie knew now that he was singing with Julietta’s voice.
CHAPTER 10
Mattie barely slept at all that night. None of them did. She could hear Bell tossing and turning, muttering and then crying out, and Da and Maya comforting him. Even Tibby was restless, made uneasy by the agitation. When the sky started to lighten outside, Mattie gave up trying.
At breakfast, Maya didn’t want to go to the cookhouse, so she made lumpy oatmeal over the burner, and they tried to come up with a plan.
“I must talk to him,” Maya insisted. “He cannot hypnotize me. If I can think of a way to stop him …”
“He won’t stop,” Mattie said with certainty. “Why would he?”
Tibby took a mouthful of oatmeal and spat it out, surprised.
“Yuck!” she exclaimed. “I want eggs!” They’d had eggs nearly every morning in the cookhouse—scrambled, over easy, fried, always with bacon. Stewie was a genius with eggs.
“Not today, Tibs,” Da said, and she got set to howl in protest. A knock at the wagon door interrupted her, and everyone froze.
“Who is it?” Da asked.
“It’s me,” Selena called.
Mattie got up and opened the door. Selena was outside, hopping from foot to foot with impatience.
“Mattie, I have an idea!” she burst out. “Well, sort of an idea, anyway. It’s what you said last night, remember? We have to find out Master Morogh’s secret, that’s all! You need something to bargain with to get Bell’s talent back. And mine. You just—”
“Be quiet!” Mattie hissed, but it was too late.
“Mattie,” Maya said behind her. Her voice was dangerously low and quiet. “Mattie, what have you done?”
Selena looked from Mattie to Maya and clapped a hand to her mouth. “Oh. Oh no. I’m sorry. I was so excited, I forgot. Oh, listen, Mrs. Marvelwood, it’s not Mattie’s fault. I made her tell me. She didn’t want to. Really. Oh, crap.”
Maya’s hand on Mattie’s shoulder was like a vise. Mattie didn’t need to read her mother’s mind. She could feel the anger through her fingers. As Maya pulled her back into the wagon, behind the curtain, Bell’s and Da’s shocked expressions made her cringe.
“How dare you?” Maya hissed in Mattie’s ear. “It is our first rule—our most essential rule! No one must know! Why did you tell?”
“I wanted to!” Mattie exploded. “I’m tired of not being able to say what’s real! It’s not fair!”
“Not fair?” Maya was incredulous. “We are who we are, Mattie. If the world knew what we truly do, what do you think would happen? Do you want be sent to some government hideaway, studied like a lab rat in a science experiment? Do you want to destroy this family?”
“I don’t!” Mattie cried. “Of course I don’t! I just … I needed …”
“You have betrayed us,” Maya said. Her face was stony.
“No, I haven’t,” Mattie insisted. “It’s crazy to make us keep our real selves secret! What kind of life is that, when nobody knows who you really are?”
“We know,” Maya said. “The family knows. Our family is what is important.”
Mattie gritted her teeth. “There are other things that are important, too. Friends are important. I wanted to … I had to share something. Can’t you understand?”
Da pushed through the curtain. “That’s enough, the both of you. Do you think we’re deaf out here? You’re upsetting the wee one, and Selena can hear everything you say. Come on out now.” He sounded angry, and that was so rare that it stopped Maya.
They sat on the rugs around the low table, the bowls of oatmeal congealing in front of them. Selena was nearly in tears.
“It’s all right, child,” Da said to her, his voice gentle again. “What’s done is done. We’ll have to make the best of it. And it’s not the first time we’ve been found out. Remember, Maya?”
Maya flushed and looked away. Mattie didn’t know what he was talking about.
“Your mother told once,” Da said. “She had a friend—oh, years ago. Before any of you bairns was born. It was in another circus, in California. A charming woman, Odelle. She was a fortune-teller, too, but not a real one. A crystal ball type.” Mattie knew what that meant. A total fake. Someone who was so false she had nearly convinced herself that she was genuine.
“Simon, please,” Maya said. Her voice was almost pleading.
“It’s important that Mattie know, love,” Da said. “And it’s important that you remember.” He went on. “Odelle did have a talent, though, of sorts. She could make people believe her. And your ma believed she was a real friend. So, eventually, because they were so close, Odelle found out about us. And she used the information.”
“Used it how?” Bell spoke up. They were the first words he’d spoken all morning.
“She made a lot of money with it, betting on whether your mother could ‘guess’ things about people. And then when Maya didn’t want to do it anymore, when she started to see the woman more clearly, Odelle threatened to expose us. We had to run.”
Mattie looked at her mother. Maya wouldn’t meet her eyes. She could hardly believe it—Maya had told! She didn’t know what to think.
“Why didn’t you know?” she asked Maya. “Couldn’t you read Odelle, to tell what she’d do in the future?”
Maya sighed, clasping and unclasping her hands. “She changed. When we first became friends and I read her, she had no plans to deceive me. She was overcome by her greed, and later by her anger. By then, she was careful. She no longer let me touch her. And I was foolish—I did not see it.” She raised her eyes to look at Mattie. “When people change, their futures can change. And Mattie, you will find that their thoughts can change as well. What is true in someone’s mind at one time might be false at another.”
Mattie took this in. She had never really known anyone other than her family long enough to see them change. But it made sense. Her own thoughts and feelings had changed over time. Why shouldn’t other people’s?
“But I’m not like Odelle. I’m a real friend,” Selena said in a shaky voice. “I wouldn’t do that.”
Maya opened her hand flat on the tabletop. The hennaed flowers and leaves traced a design from her fingertips up her arm. “Will you prove it?”
“How?” Selena whispered.
“Let me read you. Let me see if you will use what you know.”
“Yes. Of course you can. Yes.” Selena reached out and put her own hennaed hand over Maya’s
. Maya breathed in deeply.
There was a moment of silence so tense that Mattie was afraid she might scream. Then Maya breathed out. “All right. All right,” she said. She turned her hand upward and closed it around Selena’s hand, squeezing it. Then she let Selena go.
“She tells the truth,” Maya said to Da.
“But now she knows,” he said. “You must see that we have to go.”
Bell let out a little cry, and Maya put an arm around him. “Your father’s right,” she said. “It’s too dangerous to stay.”
“But then I’ll never get my talent back,” Bell whimpered. Mattie couldn’t watch as the tears began to leak from Bell’s eyes. He didn’t sob or wail or make a sound. He just wept.
“Come on,” she said to Selena. “I’ll walk you out.” Head down, Selena got up and followed Mattie out of the wagon.
“I’m so sorry,” Selena said. She was crying, too. “You’re going to leave, and it’s all my fault.”
“Really, it’s not,” Mattie assured her. “Maya and Da are sure that Master Morogh will come after the rest of us. He scares them. He scares me.”
“When will you go?”
“Probably tonight, when nobody will notice.” Mattie could hardly keep from crying herself. The circus had felt closer to a home than anyplace she’d ever been. She didn’t want to leave. There had to be a way. Then she remembered what Selena had said when she came in. “You had an idea. What was it?”
Selena blinked tears off her lashes and sniffed hard. “It probably doesn’t matter now. It was something you said last night. You said that everyone has secrets, remember? I’m sure you’re right. If anyone would know that, it would be you.” She looked at Mattie, and Mattie nodded.
“So that means that Master Morogh has a secret. Something he’s afraid of people knowing—or just afraid of. And if we can find it out, we can use it against him, just the way he would. Like blackmail or something.” Selena hiccupped and wiped her eyes.
“But how can we find it out?” Mattie asked.
“We can talk to people about him. Maybe they’ll tell us something. And watch him. See what he does.”
“We don’t have enough time!” Mattie protested. But the idea had taken root.