by Diane Zahler
“We have the rest of the day.”
“That’s true,” Mattie said. “But Da and Maya will never let me wander around. And it’s too dangerous for you.”
“He’s already taken my grace,” Selena pointed out. “What else do I have to lose? Besides, I’m very quick, and very quiet. I’ll be careful.”
Mattie nodded slowly. “It’s the only chance we have,” she said, though she had her doubts. “I’ll see what I can do to get out and help you.”
Selena gave her a quick hug and set off on her spying mission, and Mattie turned and took a deep breath, readying herself to go back into the wagon.
Inside, Tibby was howling over her oatmeal again, and Maya looked more frazzled than Mattie had ever seen her. She was so mad she wouldn’t meet Mattie’s eyes or speak to her. But Da put a comforting hand on Mattie’s shoulder.
“We’re going to take Bell to the kitchen tent,” he said in a low voice. “Tibs has been listening, so we don’t dare bring her. She could say just about anything to just about anyone. But the lad needs cheering up, and we’ll bring back some food for you and Tibby.”
Oh, this was perfect! She could get out to help Selena after all. But Mattie knew she’d better sound upset. “Why can’t I go?” she demanded.
Da just shook his head. “You stay here with the little one. We’re saying no good-byes, Mattie. We never do. You know that. You can send a note to Selena later on, when we’re settled.”
“All right,” Mattie said sulkily. “Bring something decent to eat. That oatmeal was awful.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” he agreed, ruffling her hair. Then he, Maya, and Bell were gone.
As soon as Mattie was sure they’d be out of sight, she scooped up Tibby. “We’re going for a walk,” Mattie told her.
“Put me down!” Tibby commanded.
“Only if you hold my hand.”
Tibby snorted, but she took Mattie’s hand with her own oatmealy one. “Where are we going?” she asked.
“Want to see the tigers?”
Tibby paused. “Hmmm. They are kind of scary.”
“Well, we won’t get too close. And Selena will be there.”
“Ah, the dear bampot!” Tibby cried in a perfect imitation of Da. Mattie would have laughed if she weren’t so upset.
They slipped out of the wagon, looking left and right. Everyone was at rehearsal or busy with their pre-show duties. Clutching Tibby tightly, Mattie weaved among the wagons until she was behind the tigers’ cage. Then she peeked around the front to be sure Ahmad wasn’t there.
Hasha’s amber gaze met hers. Mattie wasn’t the least bit afraid now. She could see the sadness there, and in Hadi’s eyes, too.
“Hey,” Mattie whispered. “How are you doing?” Hasha cocked her head at the sound of her voice.
“Do they talk?” Tibby asked. She pulled back a little.
“Not really,” Mattie replied. “But if you look at them really hard, you can sort of tell what they’re thinking.”
Tibby stared at Hasha. “That one is thinking she would like to play,” she announced. “Should we play with them?”
“No,” Mattie said firmly. “Never. You keep away from them, okay? See their claws?”
“Sharp,” Tibby said.
“Their teeth, too. They’re not like kitty cats. They could hurt you.”
“Then let’s go!” Tibby said nervously, pulling harder at Mattie.
“Oh, look! There’s Selena,” Mattie said, relieved. Selena was dressed for rehearsal, in her sparkly leotard with her hair slicked back under a headband.
“Mattie! How did you get out?”
“Sneaked,” Mattie admitted. “The others went for food.”
“Well, Master Morogh’s in his wagon,” Selena reported. “I climbed up on a box and looked in the window. He was writing something. We can just wait till he’s done.”
“I have to get back before Da and Maya do,” Mattie warned.
“I know. We’ll just trail him for a little while.”
They sneaked around to the ringmaster’s gold-painted wagon and positioned themselves where they could see the door. Mattie told Tibby they were playing spies, and Tibby threw herself into the game, tiptoeing around and staying blessedly quiet as she hid herself behind the big wagon wheel.
It wasn’t long at all before the red door of the wagon swung open and Master Morogh stood at the top of the steps. He looked around, and Mattie held her breath and prayed that Tibby wouldn’t speak. As usual, the ringmaster wore his gold-striped pants and spotless white shirt, but he was just putting on his black gloves. He held out one hand and started to pull the glove over it, and Mattie covered her mouth to keep a squeak from escaping.
His left hand was missing two fingers.
CHAPTER 11
In a minute the gloves were on. The left and right looked just the same. Master Morogh must have had two of the glove fingers stuffed with something to give the impression of real fingers inside. Silently they watched him walk around the other side of his wagon, and then Mattie turned to Selena.
“What happened to his fingers?” Mattie whispered. “How did he lose them?”
“I don’t know,” Selena said, her voice low. “I’ve never seen him without his gloves before. He always wears them. No wonder!”
Tibby crawled out from behind the wagon wheel. “How many fingers does he have?” she asked, whispering in imitation.
“Nine,” Mattie replied automatically.
“Perfect!” Tibby announced in a normal voice.
“Shh, we’re spies, remember?” Mattie told her. “Let’s follow him.”
The ringmaster was headed to the big top to watch rehearsals, but he took a roundabout route that confused them. Instead of going directly past the clowns’ and then the tigers’ wagons, which were closest to his, he walked all the way around the Silvas’ wagon and the cookhouse tent. Then he entered the big top through the back door. Selena and Mattie exchanged a questioning glance.
“Let’s go back,” Mattie said. “I don’t want Maya to catch me out here.” They hurried to the wagon, Tibby bouncing in Mattie’s grip like a helium balloon. Back inside, they settled her at the table with her coloring book.
“So, what did we learn?” Selena asked.
“He’s missing two fingers,” Mattie said.
“And he likes to walk farther than he has to.”
“I’m sure the missing fingers are important,” Mattie mused. “Maybe we can figure out what happened.”
“Sure, let’s just ask him,” Selena said, rolling her eyes. “Hey, Master Morogh, did you slice those off by mistake when you were cutting out someone’s heart?”
“He did that?” Tibby said, looking up from her coloring.
“No, no,” Mattie assured her. “We’re just joking.”
“Ha,” Tibby said, and returned to her crayons.
Selena left to go to rehearsal, and Da, Maya, and Bell came back not long after, carrying plates with cold pancakes and sausages. Tibby fell on them ferociously, but Mattie was too nervous to eat.
“We’ll have to do the show tonight,” Da told Mattie. “We don’t want to make Morogh suspicious. But I want to be ready to go right after. We need to pack up.”
Mattie let out a sigh. Packing up again. Toys in boxes, drawers sealed so they wouldn’t open on the drive, breakables wrapped. How many times had they done it? Fifty, a hundred? She was so tired of packing up. But she made a game of it with Tibby, tossing toys into a box with points for each one that went in and extra points for not touching the sides.
By noon it was so hot in the wagon, Mattie could hardly stand it. “Can we go out?” she begged. “Just for a little while, to get some air? Look, Tibby’s all sweaty.”
“I am all sweaty,” Tibby affirmed. “I am very, very, very hot. And also, I am bored with throwing things in a box. I would like to go see the dogs and Pinga and I would like to see the tigers again. But not to play with, like Mattie said.” She looked at Matt
ie, pleased that she had learned the lesson. Mattie froze, afraid that Maya and Da would realize that she had taken Tibby out earlier. But they were preoccupied.
“No dogs right now,” Da said. Tibby stamped her foot and rose a little off the floor.
“Tibby, stop,” Maya begged. She looked exhausted.
“It’s lunchtime,” Mattie said. “What if we went to the cookhouse for some food? Master Morogh never goes there at mealtimes. We’d be perfectly safe. We’d stick together. And”—she looked pointedly at Tibby—“she’s forgotten about earlier. She won’t say anything.”
“Grilled cheese, grilled cheese, please please please!” Tibby chanted, bouncing halfway to the ceiling. That was Stewie’s lunch specialty, and he made it perfectly, browned just enough. He even added tomato for Bell.
Maya made a sound that was part groan, part shriek. “Yes, all right, go! Stay together. Go on, go!” Before she could change her mind, Mattie grabbed Tibby, and she and Bell ran out of the wagon. Even though it was hot outside, it felt way cooler than inside the wagon, and Mattie took a deep breath of relief.
“Put me down, you eejit,” Tibby instructed, and Mattie did.
They made their way cautiously to the cookhouse. There was no sign of Master Morogh. Mattie caught a glimpse of Ahmad walking toward the tiger wagon. She looked away so she didn’t meet his eyes.
Selena joined them at the table.
“Have you found out anything new?” Mattie whispered as Selena sat down with her tray.
“No one really wants to talk about Master Morogh,” Selena said. “Sal told me that he bought the circus from some guy about ten years ago, and then he hired all new people. A lot of them didn’t stay very long. I guess we know why. And he and Ahmad had some kind of fight or something, or else they just hate each other.”
“Hmmm,” Mattie said. Bell was quiet, picking at his grilled cheese.
“And listen to this. I was talking about Julietta and how her voice disappeared, and Dee said something about a strongman whose strength went.”
“Wow.” Mattie chewed on her lip. “That sounds like Master Morogh.” She remembered how he’d picked up the twins during the circus parade, one in each hand.
“And one more. Some money guy—a stockbroker?—who couldn’t make money anymore. Dee said that he claimed it started after he was hypnotized, and he blamed it on Master Morogh. He wanted to sue the circus. But no one believed him, of course.”
“You’re an amazing spy, Selena,” Mattie said admiringly.
The Bellamys sat down at the table. One of them—Oto?—gave Mattie a look as he bit into his sandwich. “You’re a secretive sort, you two,” he said. Mattie could feel her face turning red.
“What do you mean?” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Asking all sorts of questions, dodging around. Talking to tigers.”
“Are you watching us?”
“Oh, we watch everything,” the Bellamy said. “Eyes in the back of our heads, you know.” At this, Tibby’s own eyes widened. “We keep a lookout for our friends, that’s all. Don’t want you getting into trouble.”
“We’re not in trouble. We just like to play spy games,” Mattie said, taking a bite of her own sandwich.
“We’re good at that, too,” one of the other Bellamys said, winking at her. “It’s easier when there’s five of you.”
“Nine,” Tibby said, her mouth full of cheese.
“I meant nine,” the Bellamy corrected himself. By now, they were familiar with Tibby’s numerical preference.
Mattie wasn’t quite sure what was going on. It seemed almost like the Bellamys meant something different from what they actually were saying. She remembered that Maso had known a lot about Master Morogh. Maybe they could help, but she couldn’t think how. “Well, if we need someone else to play, we’ll definitely ask you,” she said, a little uncertainly.
The Bellamys all gave her the exact same smile. It was a real smile, times five. “Anytime,” they said in unison, and Tibby hooted with laughter, spraying bits of grilled cheese all over the table.
After lunch they trooped back to the wagon. Mattie’s parents were sitting in the shade it cast in two folding chairs, drinking iced tea.
“Want a glassful, girls?” Da asked, holding up the plastic pitcher. “Selena’s mother brought it over.”
Mattie shook her head. Maya still looked mad, and now Mattie was feeling angry, too. Yes, she’d done something wrong. Again. But Maya had done the very same thing years ago, with her friend Odelle, for the very same reason. It wasn’t fair of her to keep on being mad. Mattie was about to say so when a distant shout startled her into silence.
“Get inside, everyone! It’s the tigers! The tigers are loose!”
They were all struck still for an instant. Then Maya stood and scooped up Tibby. “Into the wagon!” she commanded. “Hurry!”
Mattie, Bell, Da, and Selena leaped up the steps behind her, slammed the door, and then ran to the windows to peer out. Tibby bounced up and down, trying to push bodies aside so she could see. They heard people yelling from the back yard, and it sounded like they were moving closer.
Then the tigers appeared.
CHAPTER 12
Hasha and Hadi moved slowly but deliberately along the path from the big top to the circus lot entrance. They crouched low to the ground, their muscles rippling like brook water over stones. Out of their wagon, away from the big top, they seemed smaller, but so powerful, so beautiful that they made Mattie catch her breath. Behind them, a considerable distance away, were Sal, Max, Juan, and Ahmad. Ahmad carried his whip. The rousties had their hands full of rope.
Mattie knew the gate at the entrance was closed and locked, but the fence around the circus lot wasn’t very high. It wouldn’t take any effort at all for the big cats to leap over it. And then what? She imagined the police hunting them through the swamps and forests nearby. She knew they’d shoot the tigers dead when they found them.
Selena was at her shoulder. “Can you do anything?” she asked Mattie in a low voice.
Mattie shook her head.
As the rousties and Ahmad advanced cautiously, Master Morogh appeared behind them. His face, even at that distance, looked as pale as his starched white shirt. In his gloved hand he held something metallic. The sun glinted off it, and Mattie realized it was a gun. She had never seen a gun before, except in John Wayne movies.
The cats were just outside the wagon now. Quickly, before anyone could stop her, Mattie ran to the door, threw it open, and stepped out. Behind her she heard Da shout, and the cats swung their heads in unison to look at her.
She was trembling so hard she could barely stand, but she forced herself to stay as still as stone. It seemed as if the whole world had come to a halt, except for the tigers. Even the breeze stopped rustling the tree leaves at the edge of the circus lot.
She stared hard at Hasha. With her gaze, she tried to send a message. Remember me? she asked the tiger with her eyes. I felt your pain. I feel it now.
Hasha cocked her head the way she had before, as if she were listening intently. Her amber eyes narrowed, and Mattie held her breath. Then she walked, slowly, slowly, down the wagon steps. The cats were only yards away from her. Nobody else moved.
Mattie held her hand out as she would to a big dog who wanted to sniff her to be sure she was friendly. Hadi stepped back, away from her, but Hasha moved forward. Mattie heard a muffled cry from inside the wagon. Trying to hold her hand steady, she walked another few steps, and Hasha walked up to meet her. The tiger lowered her head a little, and Mattie placed a hand on the warm fur of her skull.
Behind her eyes she saw an image of the tigers’ wagon door swinging open and Ahmad standing nearby. Then her mind flooded with sun-dappled clearings and pools, with jungle-like trees and vines and flowers. She saw tiger cubs rolling in tall grass and playing with each other’s tails. She felt a wave of hope and longing.
“No,” Mattie whispered to Hasha. “It won’t be like t
hat. Not if you go now. It will be like this.” In her own mind, she tried to create pictures of people scared and screaming and running in panic, of groups of men in the dark with flashlights and guns. She pictured Hadi, shot and bleeding on the ground. She had no idea if the tiger could see what was in her mind, but she made the images as terrible as she could.
Hasha growled deep in her throat, and Mattie was hit with the same awful grief she’d felt when she first touched the tiger’s paw. “I’m so, so sorry,” she told Hasha. “I’ll find a way to get you free, and safe. I promise. I promise. But you have to go back now.”
Under her hand, Hasha lowered her head still more, and then she was lying on the ground, and Mattie was sitting beside her. Behind them, Hadi crouched and then lay down as well. Mattie stayed where she was—she couldn’t have moved if she’d tried—as the rousties and Ahmad moved forward, step by careful step. When Hasha looked at Ahmad, Mattie could read resignation and a kind of fondness in her. So the tiger didn’t despise him after all. Mattie was glad.
But when Master Morogh came closer, Hasha lifted her head and glared at him. Mattie was struck by a wave of hatred so strong that she pulled her hand away from the tiger, shocked. Something in Hasha’s gaze must have shown Master Morogh how she felt, because he immediately backed away again, sticking his pistol into the waistband of his pants. He kept going, backing down the midway, until he reached the wagons and ducked out of sight.
Ahmad took over then. He spoke to the tigers in whatever language they shared, and they stood and languidly followed him as he walked slowly back toward their wagon. Before he moved out of Mattie’s sight, though, he turned and looked at her. It was a measuring look, like he was trying to figure her out. Then he nodded and turned back.
Sal grabbed her and lifted her as if she were no bigger than Tibby. Mattie’s bones wouldn’t hold her up anymore. She was as limp as a plucked weed in his arms.
The wagon door flew open, and Da and Maya and the others ran to her side. Da took her from Sal and held her tight. Mattie could feel his heart racing in his chest as she started to cry. Maya stroked her hair, and Bell clutched her hand. Mattie read his admiration and then his fear.