Married For Jeremy (Under Fire Book 1)

by Andrews, Kacy

  Ellen’s conscience told her she’d made the wrong choice the next morning when she woke up still near him. So much for being a good Catholic now.

  His steady breathing told her he was still asleep. She got out of bed and looked for her clothes. They were scattered over the floor, so she gathered them up and scrambled into them. Maybe if she just left quietly, she could forget this ever happened.

  She was pulling her shoes on when James came out, wearing jeans and no shirt. “Ellen, where are you going?”

  “Home, like I should’ve done hours ago.”

  “Don’t you want breakfast first?”

  “No.”

  “Ellen, Baby, don’t be mad at me. It was just a little fun. Nobody ever has to know.”

  “But you and I know, and God knows and I can’t believe I was so foolish.” Ellen reached for the doorknob.

  “Ellen, do you have to leave mad?”

  “I shouldn’t have come at all. I don’t think I ever want to see you again.” She strode out, letting the door slam shut behind her.

  James watched her leave. She’d get over it. Once wouldn’t hurt anything.

  Ellen felt funny, something wasn’t right. A few of the residents had recently recovered from stomach flu, so she hoped she wasn’t getting it too. On the way into the apartment building, she stopped to pick up her mail. There was a letter addressed in scratchy, unfamiliar handwriting. She sorted through the advertisements and bills and tossed out the junk mail she didn't plan to read. Heading up to her apartment, she put the mail on the table, then picked up the strange letter.

  Tearing it open, she looked at the signature at the bottom first. It was from James. He'd butchered the spelling, and his handwriting was nearly illegible, but she made out that he still loved her, hoped she wasn't still mad at him, and wanted to get back together with her sometime. Forget that. She'd managed to avoid him at the nursing home most days and if she saw him coming, she went another way.

  She swallowed hard against the nausea. She had to be getting sick. At least tomorrow was her day off, not that she wanted to spend her day off with a case of stomach flu. She went to the cupboard and checked to see if she had any gingerale or crackers. She had lots, so she moved to the couch to see if there was anything on TV.

  The next morning, Ellen woke up feeling like she'd just gotten off a rollercoaster. She took a deep breath and tried to swallow. So, she was in for a day with the flu. Great. The funny thing was, the feeling came and went. The residents had been a lot sicker than this, though maybe that could be attributed to age. It wasn't until that evening that she realized what it was. She was browsing the advertisements that had come the previous day and was skimming over the one from the local drug store. It was advertising a sale on various women's products from feminine hygiene to supplements. Her eyes scanned the bottom right corner and the truth hit her like a truckload of bricks.

  The page had a cut out coupon for pregnancy tests. Getting up, she quickly changed her clothes, got her purse and headed for the store. She felt funny buying the test, but knew it was the only way to find out. She tried it that night and sat on the edge of the tub, trembling while she waited for the results. It was the longest fifteen minutes of her life. Hands still shaking, she picked up the test. Positive.

  Life was so unfair. How could this have happened? Her mind wandered back to the particular night and how it had felt when James held her in his arms. She had felt wanted and secure, but look where it had gotten her. She didn't want to have a baby, much less raise it alone and eventually have to explain to it that it was a result of a one night stand with a man she barely knew. Sighing, she walked out to the living room and slumped onto the couch. Next time she saw James, she was going to kill him. This was all his fault.

  A doctor's appointment a week later only confirmed her suspicions. "You are indeed pregnant Ellen." The doctor told her. "But if this is going to inconvenience you, there's no need to carry it to term."

  "How is that possible?"

  "There are several simple ways to terminate the pregnancy."

  "No," Ellen said firmly. "I really don't want this baby, but I won't kill it."

  "It's your choice."

  "I'm keeping the baby."

  "Then I would recommend you try to contact the baby's father, if you know who he is. He'll owe you child support once the baby is born, or perhaps he'll be willing to raise the baby. Do you know who the father is?"

  "Yes." Did he think she'd been sleeping around? "And I'll tell him." Then kill him.

  His truck was in his driveway when she drove by, so she pulled in. Still angry, she strode up to the door and rapped so hard her hand hurt. "Hold it, what's the hurry, I'm coming." The door swung open. James hadn't shaved in awhile, and he was wearing a rather dirty flannel shirt untucked from his jeans with the sleeves rolled up. “Ellen?” He regarded her with an amused stare.

  "James." Her voice was curt.

  "I didn't think I'd see you again, com'on in." He held the door for her. "Sorry I'm a mess, I've been cutting wood the past couple days, you know, getting ready for winter." There was no need to mention that winter had hardly passed and summer was still on its way.

  "We need to talk." It was unfortunate he still looked so good, even when he was dirty.

  "Okay." He smiled.

  "I'm pregnant, and I'm here to see what you're going to do about it."

  His smile faded and he looked white as a sheet. For a second, she thought he was going to faint. "Um, can we sit down for a minute?"

  "I guess."

  They walked into the living room and Ellen took the straight backed chair, not wanting to be anywhere near him. James flopped onto the couch. "Okay, pass this by me again?"

  "I am pregnant. With your baby. I want to know what you plan to do about that." Ellen spoke slowly, letting each word sink in.

  "What do you want me to do?" James asked, when he found his voice.

  "I don't know."

  "Well, I'll pay child support."

  "I don't need your money."

  "It's the right thing to do."

  "I guess. The doctor told me I could abort the baby."

  James sat bolt upright. "Ellen, please, don't do that."

  "I won't. I can't."

  "Good, because if you don't want the baby, I'll take care of it after it’s born."

  "See, that's what I don't know. I don't want to raise a baby, but I don't know if I trust you enough to let you raise it."

  "We could do the joint custody thing."

  "I really don't like that."

  "Then why don't we get married?" James asked with a shrug.

  "Are you kidding?"

  "No. We could get married, the kid would look legitimate, it would have two parents and we'd be okay."

  "And you think I'd agree to that?"

  "I'm just putting it out there." James leaned forward and his voice softened. "Com'on Ellen, we had a good thing going. I saw the way you were looking at me that night. The way you responded to me. I was starting to get to you. With a little bit of work, we could have a good relationship."

  "If you'd kept your hands off me, we'd still have a relationship."

  "That's not fair. You can't pin this all on me."

  "Why not?"

  "Because you were there too, I sure didn't have to force you into my bed."

  "I know, but you should've quit messing around with me before we went so far."

  "So we'll know for next time," James said sarcastically.

  "There won't be a next time. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm not marrying you and you'll be lucky if you ever get to see your child." She got up and stormed out of his house again.

  This time, he didn't bother following her. It wasn't any use.

  James spent the evening sitting down at the water, dangling bare feet in the water. He'd been trying to break in a new pair of workboots and they'd given him blisters. He needed something to do, but most of his firewood was already taken care of,
and it was his weekend off from work. He knew he was going to need something to occupy his time or he was going to go crazy.

  Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair. He was a father to a child he'd probably never see. He stood up and picked up his socks and the stiff new boots. The water was still cold, but maybe he'd go for a swim instead of taking a shower. The house seemed far too empty and he didn't feel like being alone.

  James had planned to do some yard work after working at the store the next day, but it had started raining on the drive home. James found himself housebound with nothing to do. He decided to start a load of laundry, but once that was done, he got bored and started thinking about Ellen. How could something that felt so right be so wrong?

  His grandmother would have a lot to say about it. That was for sure. He knew she still prayed for him, but it didn’t change how he felt about church, and God for that matter.

  The house got dark from the clouds overhead, and James heard the rumble of thunder in the distance. It got louder and soon the room was lit up with frequent lightning flashes. James didn't mind, he liked storms for the most part. The wind blew a small tree branch back and forth against his window, creating a scratching sound.

  He sat down on the couch across from the bay window to watch the storm over the lake. It lasted for a long time and just as thunder was fading into the distance, his pager went off for a hydro line down. Figured, in this weather.

  The rain had almost stopped, but it was still windy outside as he headed for his truck. He headed for the hall, not in a huge hurry since he knew they'd have to sit and watch the wire for some time before the power company came and dealt with it. He still ended up driving the pumper and staying at the call late into the night. His friend and mentor Roy ended up offering to stay with him and let the rest of the crew go home since they weren't needed.

  "I don't have anything else to do tonight and we haven't talked in awhile," Roy said, climbing up into the truck beside James.

  "What do you want to talk about?" James asked.

  "I don't know, whatever. Tell me about your life."

  "It's pretty boring.” James didn't really want to tell him.

  "The last couple times I've seen you, you've seemed funny, I just thought I'd ask why."

  "I don't know, I guess I just have some things to think through."

  "Would I be able to help, or am I just prying and being annoying."

  James looked up. "Roy, you are never annoying. You just forget you don't have to counsel everyone all the time."

  "Meaning you're telling me to shut up?"

  "No, actually, Roy, can I tell you something?" Maybe it would help to get it out in the open.

  "Sure."

  "You can't tell anyone else."

  "You know what you tell me stays with me."

  "Okay, I, well, had someone who was kinda like a girlfriend and a couple days ago, she came by and told me she's pregnant and I don't know what to do."

  "Can I make an assumption and guess that you're partially responsible for this?"

  James nodded, then realized it was too dark for Roy to see him. "Yeah,” James said quietly. “What do I do?"

  "I don't know, what do you think you should do?"

  "I don't know. I can't go back and fix it."

  "No."

  "I guess try and support her, but she's really mad at me right now."

  "Do you blame her?"

  "No."

  "I know you won't like this, but have you considered talking to God about it?"

  James snorted. "No. God's just up there in the sky waiting to squash me for what I did."

  "You know that isn't true."

  "Maybe not, but I'm wondering if I believe in God anymore."

  “Can I pray for you?”

  “Now?”

  “Yeah.”

  “If you want, I don’t know what good it will do though.”

  Roy put his hand on James’ shoulder. “God, we know we can come before you with anything and right now we pray you’ll give James peace and show him Your presence.”

  Chapter 5

  Ellen swallowed hard against a wave of nausea and wished she didn’t have to work so close to the kitchen. The strong smell of apple crisp, something she normally enjoyed, was upsetting her stomach. Normally the nursing home’s head cook offered her the first bowl whenever she made it and Ellen didn’t know how she was going to refuse it without people getting suspicious.

  Quickly finishing her task, she headed toward the laundry room, the furthest area from the kitchen. Maybe she could help make the beds and avoid that awful smell. She stopped at the staff washroom to splash some cold water on her face, then leaned her forehead against the cold tile on the wall, willing her breakfast to stay down.

  “Ellen, are you all right?” Katie banged on the door.

  “Go away.”

  “Not a chance. I’m waiting right here.”

  Embarrassed, Ellen pushed the door open and stepped out. Katie was standing in the hallway with a serious look on her face. “Now if you’re sick like those residents were, you’d better go home right now.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Baloney.”

  “Okay so I’m kinda nauseous, you want to make something of it?”

  “No, I just want to know why so I know if I should wear a mask around you,” Katie said sarcastically.

  “The smell of the kitchen made me sick. It’s really strong.”

  “It’s apple crisp, you love apple crisp.”

  “Not any more apparently.”

  Katie gave her a funny look. “Normally your favourite thing doesn’t suddenly make you start throwing up. Unless...”

  “Don’t even say what you’re thinking.” Ellen cut her off.

  “Have you...”

  “No.”

  “Been...”

  “No!”

  “You’re sleeping with James Walker aren’t you?”

  “If I had, why would I tell you?”

  “You know there are pills and stuff you can use to keep yourself out of this kind of trouble, but I guess it’s a little late now.”

  “Katie...”

  “I had the most amazing OB/GYN when I was pregnant with Hayden. I’ll give you her name so you can look her up. I think she’s still taking patients.”

  “Katie, cool it. I don’t need an OB/GYN.”

  “Maybe not, but sooner or later, your family doctor will likely refer you to one. I can’t imagine you want some kind of new grad working on you.”

  “You’re still sure I’m pregnant, aren’t you?”

  “You said it, I didn’t.” Katie grinned at her.

  “Listen. If you breathe a word of any of this to anyone, you won’t live to tell about it,” Ellen hissed.

  Katie grabbed her shoulders. “You can count on me. Your secret is safe.”

  “I don’t know what secret you’re trying to protect, but okay.”

  Katie grinned again. “Wow, this is really exciting. I wonder if the baby will look like James. Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

  An awesome reminder of her mistake. “I guess.”

  James looked up as a rough looking man came up to the counter. “Can I help you find something?”

  “I need some bullets.”

  “”Okay.” James reached under the counter and took the keys for the side cabinets off their hook. “Come on over the show me the ones you want.”

  James sold the man what he wanted, then, after the customer left the store, headed out to sweep the porch and front steps. It had been a slow morning, not unusual for this time of year. The man was standing in the back of his truck, rearranging some items in a truck box carrier. A large brown dog and a similar looking pup stood near the tailgate.

  “Nice pair of dogs you’ve got there,” James commented.

  “The one is, the other one’s about as useless as they get.” He roughly cuffed the pup when it ventured close to him and tried to grab his pant leg. “Dumb female dog we
nt and found a mate. Got stuck with seven of the little mutts. Can’t get rid of this one ‘cause he’s blind in one eye and no one wants him. One of these days I might just drown him.”

  James quit sweeping and came to the edge of the steps. “Why, it’s not his fault he’s blind.” He forgot this guy was a customer and that he shouldn’t disagree with him on personal business.

  “I’ve got no use for him, I’ve got a dog.”

  “You want to sell him?”

  “I’ve tried.”

  “You haven’t tried me.”

  “What do you want with a dog like that. He’s not good for anything. And he’s as stupid as they come.”

  James tried to remember how much money was in his wallet. “Will you take twenty dollars for him?”

  “I got fifty for the rest of them,” the man said flatly.

  James came down the steps. “But you said yourself he isn’t worth as much as the other ones.”

  “I might consider letting him go for forty, cash.”

  James pulled out his wallet. “What about thirty? It’s more money than you’ll get drowning him.”

  “I guess.” The man grabbed the pup by the scruff of the neck and dropped it over the side of the truck into James’s arms, then stood waiting while James handed him all the cash in his wallet.

  “Have a good day,” James said as the man got in his truck and prepared to drive away.

  The truck drove off and James looked down at the bundle of fur in his arms. “You’re lucky, you know that?” The dog looked up at him. “Let’s hope the grocery store is still open late tonight so I can get you some food.”

  James carried the puppy inside and into the back room, knowing he needed to find a box of some sort to put it in. Finding something suitable, he punched holes in one side, lined it with newspaper and put the pup inside. “Now be quiet in there so Dave doesn’t find out you’re here.” He put the side with the holes in the direction of the wall, hoping Dave would just think it was a box of inventory.