The Inner Movement

by Brandt Legg

  “I brought you those books you wanted.” He opened the hatchback and handed me the box holding dozens of volumes by Thich Nhat Hanh, and twice that number from his uncle’s library on quantum physics, astronomy, and philosophy.

  I took the books inside and held them one by one. The others sat around watching, totally amazed that in such a simple way I could quickly absorb so much information.

  “I didn’t know Rose, but she was psychic,” Amber began. “What if she’s using some technique to block you so that you won’t look for her?”

  “Why would she do that?” Tanya asked.

  “I don’t know. So he’d concentrate on saving Dustin instead of her? Or maybe because it would be too dangerous to try and get her. Or what if she has some trick to get away on her own, and we could mess that up?”

  I was about to tell Amber that she was grasping, but I saw the hopeful look on Tanya’s face and said, “Yeah, maybe.”

  Once I finished the books, we went for a walk. Tanya lived in a rented cramped two-room guesthouse on a pretty piece of land overlooking the Rogue River. She led us carefully down a path to the river. We followed her, single file, as it wound down the very steep grade through a series of switchbacks.

  The trail widened a bit along the water. It was a rugged and scenic section of the famed river. Amber had never been on the Rogue. Tanya explained to her that its source was near Crater Lake where it begins a 215-mile dash to the Pacific Ocean, ending at Gold Beach, just north of Brookings, like a thread weaving through my own spiritual journey.

  At Amber’s request, I moved stones from around the banks and dropped them in the river using Gogen. I told them it was good practice, but in truth I was just showing off. It turned into a little freak show as they all started naming things for me to levitate and move. Only Linh didn’t play. Instead she wrote in her journal among some wildflowers, the rest of us were laughing and joking.

  “What are we going to do?” Tanya suddenly blurted out. Everyone turned to her. “While we’re screwing around here, Rose needs us.”

  “We just needed to let go of some of this tension,” Kyle said.

  “Someone has to find Rose. And since we can’t go to the police, the only hope we have is Nate being able to see her somehow.”

  “I’ve been trying, Tanya,” I said.

  “Not while your wasting your powers playing in the river with your girlfriend.”

  “Wait a minute, Tanya, you were telling him to Gogen stuff, too, and—” Amber started.

  “It’s okay,” I said, quieting her. “Tanya, I know you’re worried about Rose. We all are. But I can’t look every minute. I barely know what I’m doing. Spencer and Rose are the two who have been helping me. There’s no way to get ahold of Spencer until he contacts me, and obviously Rose can’t help right now, so I’m kind of out here winging it. Monday we’re going to talk to a top attorney who is great at these kind of cases. . . . We’ll get her back.”

  “He’s not a machine,” Kyle said, biting down on an unlit cigarette.

  “It’s just . . . ” Tanya said, beginning to cry, “if I hadn’t taken Nate to Brookings yesterday, I would have been with Rose at the movies. We go every Friday afternoon and then to dinner.”

  Linh put her arm around Tanya. “The truth is we’re all in danger.”

  “True,” Kyle said. “But they could have picked us up already. They’ve only taken people with psychic abilities: Dustin, Rose, and they’ve tried for Nate.”

  “Maybe,” I said, “but let’s not get any false sense of security.”

  “No chance of that,” Amber said. “I think we’re all scared senseless.”

  “Let’s go back. My mom’s coming soon to try to convince me to go to the FBI,” I said.

  We made our way up the trail in silence.

  “I’m going to take this, it’s Bridgette.” Amber flipped her phone open. She stayed outside as the rest of us went in.

  A few minutes later, my mom came in with Amber.

  “Hope you guys are hungry,” she said unpacking a spread from the Station. Amber had an Adele, Kyle a Bob Dylan, Linh took half a Fleet Foxes, Tanya grabbed the Tracy Chapman, and I had a Ray LaMontagne with no mustard.

  “Rose phoned me just after lunch on Friday. You know we had a rocky relationship,” Mom said to everyone. “Rose said how sorry she was about all our misunderstandings, and since both of us loved the same three people more than anything, we should have been best of friends. It was like she knew something was going to happen. That’s possible, isn’t it, Nate?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I mean she went on to say that we should work hard at being friends in the future and help Nate through all this. But it was just the timing, you know, after what happened.”

  “If she’d known she was going to get taken, she would have hidden somewhere, left town or something. She would have called me,” Tanya said.

  We were all quiet for a while, eating and thinking. Mom brought out a few large containers. “Strawberry Secrets, Fudge Crumble Invasion and Marshmallow Dream Moose Cake for dessert.” Even Tanya applauded. Once everyone was stuffed and the conversation found another lull, Mom was ready to exit.

  “Nate, walk me to my car. I’ll see you all soon,” she said to the others amid unanimous thank-yous for the food. She tossed her purse in the front seat. “Nate, I’ve been talking to Josh about all this, and he agrees with me that we can’t just let you run around waiting for these agents to get you. They have Dustin and Rose. We have to go to the FBI or CNN or something.”

  “Why do we keep having this conversation? Give me a couple of days.”

  “Surely, you don’t think the whole government’s corrupt and all the media outlets, too?”

  “No, but I don’t know which ones aren’t. It’s too risky. This is about so much more than Dustin, Dad, and Rose.”

  “Well, of course it is, but all I care about is keeping my family safe. I’ve made a lot of mistakes with you boys since Dad died, and I don’t want this to be another one. What am I supposed to do if you go missing tomorrow? Do you think I won’t go to the FBI then?”

  “Mom, follow me.”

  Once we were above the river, I made a Lusan and handed it to her.

  “Oh, that’s incredible!” she said.

  I nodded and held out my hands. She gently placed it back in them. I threw it into the river producing a large geyser that lasted almost a full minute. Mom’s mouth fell open.

  “You have to understand I’m not a kid anymore. I can do amazing things. A week ago I was in a French village with Dad during World War II. I can see the past in incredible detail, speak three languages fluently, and can recite the laws of quantum physics to you.”

  “Its hard for me, Nate. I’m astounded and impressed but terrified all at the same time. It’s tough enough for me to think of you graduating next year. You saw your father?”

  “No one really dies.”

  “In spite of all the horrible aspects of this mess, that’s really a beautiful thought.”

  “It’s breathtaking, Mom. Trust me, okay?”

  “All right, Nate. I want to, but it’s already been three and a half days. I know he’s supposed to be in federal custody, but we really aren’t sure. I’ll give this until the end of the day Monday.” She wiped a tear. “You stay in touch and don’t be a hero. There are good people who can help us when the time comes.”

  “You got it.” I handed her a sheet of paper. “That’s the address where they have Dustin, and some other details about the place and guards that I noted. Nothing’s going to happen. I just don’t want to take any chances with Dustin’s safety.”

  “I have to stop thinking now. I want to leave with images of that beautiful ball and geyser in my head.” She fumbled in her purse and handed me two hundred dollar bills out the window.

  “Thanks, Mom.” I still had some cash from selling photos and my savings were untouched, but the money would help with all the extra gas and food.


  Amber came out before I made it back inside. “I just promised my mom everything would be fine, but I’m not really sure.”

  “It will be. This isn’t happening by accident.”

  “No, but that doesn’t mean I can’t screw it up somehow. What if Rose is dead?”

  “Do you think she is?”

  “I don’t understand why I can see Dustin almost effortlessly, but not a trace of Rose comes through even with prophecy.”

  “You just told us that you hardly know what you’re doing. Give yourself a break. There are so many possible reasons why you’re not getting anything from her—you’re still learning.”

  “I just think she’d be trying to get a message to me . . . even if she were dead.”

  “I’ve read plenty of famous cases where it can take months or years for someone to get word from the other side.”

  I shook my head. “It’s so frustrating. I’ve learned more this past week than in my entire life, and I still can’t—”

  “Here’s a little more.” She pulled a book from the backseat of Kyle’s car. Animal-Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small by Ted Andrews. “It’s my favorite book on understanding the meanings of animals. Remember the moose?”

  “Our first date, how could I forget?”

  “It wasn’t a date,” she said with a laugh.

  “Tanya seems to think you’re my girlfriend.” I smiled.

  She put her arm around me. “We’ll see about that.”

  “Why is everyone still giving me books to read?” I joked. “Thanks.” I handed it back to her as we went into the house.

  “You already memorized it?”

  “Want to test me?”

  “I believe you. And, I certainly don’t want to start that circus up again.”

  “All right everyone, I’m not saying you have to leave, but you can’t stay here.” I announced.

  “What?” Kyle asked.

  “I don’t want anyone staying where I am. It’s not safe.”

  They all protested.

  “Nate, if you think I’m going to leave,” Tanya said, “then you aren’t the great psychic everyone thinks you are.”

  “Tanya can stay because, well . . . it’s her house, but the rest of you can’t. I mean it.”

  They reluctantly agreed and decided Amber would stay at Kyle’s and Linh’s. I would have preferred them in a safe hotel somewhere but lost that debate. Linh handed me a folded sheet of paper. “It’s something I wrote for you. You can read it later.”

  I stuffed it in the back pocket of my jeans and pulled her close. She was soft and warm. “It’s not your fault,” I whispered.

  Once they were gone I spent more time searching for Rose on the astral and in my pan of water with no success. I asked Tanya if she would allow me to read her life. “It might help me find Rose. And even if it doesn’t, I could really use the practice.”

  She was fascinated by the prospect. “Can you see my childhood, like when I was three?”

  “Vising can even let me see your past lives if you want.”

  “Oh my God. I do. I want to know everything.”

  “You may think you do. But believe me, our past lives aren’t always what we’d like.”

  I held her, and Tanya’s life showed itself to me. Mostly mundane, but the wonderful parts centered around Rose; they adored each other. Tanya’s father had been strict and abusive when she was young. Nothing worse than beatings, but some were severe. He’d belittled her, too, and there weren’t many friends. Her mother didn’t wake up one day after taking a mixture of pills. Tanya was about three years old and lay with her dead mother all day until her father came home and found them. No one ever told Tanya it was suicide. I sure wasn’t going to break that news.

  I pulled away and looked at her. She was the first person I’d read, and it was so personal I could barely handle it. I’d seen all the laughter and tears, anger and fear. The emotions were still flowing through me even after the images stopped.

  She smiled at me sweetly.

  “You’ve done really well,” was all I could think to say.

  “Did you see my past lives?”

  “No, but we can.”

  She nodded.

  I held her again, quickly flying through her life. It was just as Spencer had described, a few seconds of darkness and then lifetime after lifetime unfolded. We talked for more than an hour, as Tanya asked an unending stream of questions about those previous incarnations. Nothing was too exciting, but she had once been a princess; she liked that. And we both thought it was cool that in one life she was a sailor on the Pinta, one of Columbus’s ships in 1492. I didn’t say anything about her three other current incarnations; one actually lived in Los Angeles. I wasn’t sure how she would take that information, and I was too tired to find out.

  “I’m wiped out but wired at the same time,” she said. “I’m sure I’ll never get to sleep.”

  “I think I can help with that. Spencer taught me a way to calm people or put them to sleep. Well, technically he didn’t teach me, but he reminded . . . never mind.”

  “Does it hurt?”

  “Of course not. Very gentle.”

  Twenty minutes later she appeared wearing sweats and a T-shirt. Once in bed I looked at her for a few moments, closed my eyes, and pictured her having a deep peaceful sleep.

  “Did it work?” I whispered.

  When there was no answer I went though the dark house, stretched out on the couch, fully clothed, and read Linh’s poem by flashlight. Reading in the dark was possible but not pleasant.

  Its beautiful music

  This war of the worlds,

  Of the time, the dimension

  You think you are the body

  That holds these wings

  You think you are the message

  Held tight, in the bottle

  Upon that ocean of colors and dreams

  So hot, from too many hands

  Changing sharp things

  Over and over again

  It is history

  It is a dream

  It is life, dear friend

  Humor the butterflies

  Whose path is lined with death

  Whose whisper is only heard

  Within a silence

  Deep in the core of a forest

  For that magic,

  Sustained involuntarily

  Is the essence—

  Or the beat,

  Yes, the raucous sensual love

  My friend,

  That is the stamp you must stain

  Upon this land

  That is the print you must

  Leave upon the faces

  Of all of us innocently moving

  Toward whatever light is brighter

  And you, the chosen one?

  Perhaps, take my hand

  I am empty and I will not hesitate

  To open to this velocity—

  This fresh start,

  This embrace.

  Sleep came easy.

  40

  Sunday, September 28

  The heat woke me. I jolted up panicked, thinking the house was on fire. While shaking off sleep, the warning hit me. We were in danger. I grabbed my backpack and pulled on shoes in one motion while lunging toward Tanya’s bedroom. “Tanya, wake up!” I snatched her sneakers.

  “What? Huh?”

  “We have to go. Right now.”

  “Why?” she asked, following me.

  “Someone’s out there. Let’s go.”

  “I don’t have shoes,” she said, as we went out the back door.

  “Here.” I pushed them into her hands as we sprinted across the yard toward the river. The sun wasn’t up, but the sky was beginning to lighten.

  “This is Federal Agent Fitts. Stop or I’ll shoot!”

  “Tanya, go, go,” I whispered, turning to face Sanford Fitts. My night vision was still adjusting, and all I could see was his silhouetted figure. “You won’t shoot,” I yelled,
taking off after Tanya.

  “Damn it,” I heard him say, then footsteps. Fitts was a trained agent; he could catch us.

  I found Tanya on the second switchback; she had stopped to put on her shoes. The trail was steep, but she knew it well and I could see in the dark. Moving as fast as we dared, we were on the third switchback when she asked, “Where are we going?”

  “To the river.”

  “Then where?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. How far along the river can we go?”

  “The trail ends where we went today. We’ll be trapped.”

  Before I had time to consider our predicament, Fitts crashed down on us from above. He was on top of me, and I could feel his strength. We went over the edge locked together, rolling and smashing through brush, tumbling onto an outcropping of rocks. I managed to separate myself from him and stiffly got to my feet. I was bleeding in several places, battered and bruised, but nothing was broken. I looked down on the creature who had murdered my father, face down in the scrub but slowly beginning to get up. I kicked him hard in his ribs.

  “Oooff!” he cried out.

  “You killed my dad, you bastard!” I screamed, kicking him again and again. “I’ll kill you!” I shouted, out of control, looking for a rock to smash on his head.

  “Nate,” Tanya’s voice, pained and weak, called from somewhere below us. “Help me, help.”

  I had no choice but to leave Fitts. But, I figured, he was in no shape to go anywhere, “I’ll be back,” I spit, landed a last kick on his neck, knocking his DHS hat off, then raced down toward Tanya’s voice.

  I found her tangled in a fir tree. When I tried to move her it was obvious by the screams that at least one leg was broken. Rubbing my hands together, I began to heal her leg, but there wasn’t going to be time. Instead, I concentrated on making a Lusan healing globe. The instant I moved it across her leg she cried in painful relief. I heard other agents’ voices above us. They had found Fitts. My vengeance was denied, but more critical at that moment was escaping. Their voices went silent. They were moving down toward us. Tanya was a long way from being healed.

  “Can you move?” I whispered.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “They’re coming. We have to move.”