Wild Card (Etudes in C# Book 1)

by Jamie Wyman

  Of course, he was barely winded. He stopped, turned, and plodded to where I leaned on the bridge. His eyes darted around, seeking out threats. “Are you all right?”

  If I’d had the breath to spare I would have tossed him a snotty retort. I settled for an annoyed glare. His skin shone with a layer of sweat, and he’d lost his gold ribbon somewhere, leaving his hair free to fall around his face in a tousled, ebony mane.

  I caught sight of his bloodied arm. “You?”

  “Oh, this?” he asked, examining the wound. “Stings like a bitch, but the real travesty is that it ruined one of my best shirts.”

  I pushed out a weak laugh. “Your horns are showing.”

  “It happens from time to time. Not unlike tonight, those times often involve a lot of sweat and screaming. Maybe you’ll see them again under better circumstances.”

  Rolling my eyes, I said, “Just give me a second, okay?”

  Craning his neck to look back the way we came, Marius said, “I think our feathered friend has gone along with the goddess. I don’t see them following us.” He looked across the Strip. “They may have chased off the faeries for us.”

  “Or they led you right where I needed you to be.”

  Marius whirled around at the voice and pulled his sword from the ether at his side, ready for whatever came next. Blocking our way off the bridge stood a stocky man with a broad chest. The stranger’s glossy black hair hung in a sheet down his back. Caramel skin and eyes the color of Kona coffee, he wore baggy cargo shorts, flip-flops, and a garish red aloha shirt. Around his neck was a fishhook carved of bleached bone.

  As if I needed the confirmation, a warm trade wind seemed to blow over the surface of my apple brand. My voice was small as I spoke. “Maui?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “If You Have to Ask”

  As Maui nodded my body wanted nothing more than to collapse there, maybe melt through the wooden planks and into the lagoon below. But one should have a bit more spine when meeting a deity. I stretched to my full height and winced as my knee protested.

  “You can lose the sword, man,” Maui said to my companion. “I’m not here for a fight.”

  The two eyed one another—Marius wary, the god confident. Finally, Marius brought his sword hand to his left side, and the blade disappeared. His fingers twitched in the air as if he waited for an excuse to draw it again.

  “Catherine Sharp, I presume?”

  I nodded. “That’s me.”

  The god grinned, the sun in his smile. “You surprised me, little wahine. Not many mortals survive an encounter with the wakwak.”

  “A what-what?”

  “The bird. I’d been impressed you escaped the kupua at your home, but this?” He let out a resonant belly laugh. “You are damn lucky or blessed. Either way, I dig you. Eris has offered a choice prize indeed.”

  My eyes widened, and my knuckles popped as I tightened my fists. So this bastard was responsible for trashing my home. I bared my teeth. “You sent those monsters to my apartment? The shark things.”

  “Kupua. Yeah. On loan from a few of my friends.”

  “You destroyed my home!” I snarled. Fueled by my temper, I lunged forward but Marius caught my arm.

  Maui didn’t budge. “I’m sorry about that. My people will get to repairing it right away.”

  I snorted. “What, a gang of Hawaiian carpenters is just going to show up at my apartment and get to work? Right.”

  “Menehune!” Maui sang. He gave a whistle strong enough to summon a cab in New York City during rush hour. Seconds later, the grass at the end of the bridge rustled. Footsteps echoed over the wooden planks, and tiny shadows raced to meet the god.

  Little people, pygmies, whatever name you give them, they were tiny versions of humans. With bronzed skin and dark hair, like the god himself, they wore black beads around their necks and leaves about their waists. Their hands and feet were chubby, like those of toddlers. Padding barefoot to Maui’s side, the little folk—the menehune—stared at me and the satyr, obviously curious.

  Maui squatted before the tallest of them—who was less than a yard high—and began to speak in the fluid vowels and glottal stops of his native language. He wagged a finger in gentle warning then flashed a radiant smile. The pygmy raised a fist and shouted some enthusiastic response. As he darted into the night, some of his kin followed.

  The god stood. “They are excellent craftsmen. You’ll see. Tomorrow morning your place will be good as new. Better even.”

  Marius stood straighter and glared down at the islander. “Do they sew?” he asked, holding out his torn sleeve.

  I swatted him in the ribs.

  “If Eris knew your true value,” Maui said to me, “I doubt she would have so carelessly tossed you into our bet.”

  Now, I knew not to expect a straight answer from one of the gods of mayhem, but I was just tired enough to give it a shot. “What do you all want from me?”

  Sirens began to wail as the police made their way to Marius’s wrecked car. I looked over my shoulder to make sure none of them were headed our way. Breathalyzers work and I would’ve passed any test, but if I told a cop we’d been running away from a huge flesh-eating bird when we’d crashed on the Vegas Strip and fled the scene because faeries were chasing us? Yeah, that was a surefire way to get chucked into the drunk tank.

  Marius licked his lips and shifted his stance, preparing to run.

  Maui smiled. “The answer to this question is complex. Perhaps we could discuss this inside and away from those mundane lawmen?”

  As the god extended a hand toward me, I jerked away.

  “Catherine Sharp,” the god said, “I’m not going to hurt you. Please, be my guest here. Take a room and rest. It is the least I can do.”

  “Do I have your word?” I asked.

  Maui nodded. “You will be under my protection as long as you are within the hotel. I swear it.”

  Sagging with exhaustion, I reluctantly placed my hand in Maui’s. Damn, did I look pale against his suntan.

  “Come,” he said with an easy grin, “let’s talk story. Then you and your friend here can get some shut eye.”

  As the sirens drew closer and people flocked to gawk at the mysterious wreck in front of the Mirage, Maui led me into the hotel. Shuffling to downplay my bad knee, I didn’t move quickly, but the god was kind enough to hold pace with me. Marius, on the other hand, was wound so tight I thought he might shoot around the lobby like a pinball. When we reached the elevator bank, I twitched as anxiety flooded my stomach.

  “This one is safe,” Maui said with a knowing wink.

  “What, did you have the crow from hell on a remote control or something?”

  He smiled. “Now that’s an idea…”

  Safe or not, I huddled in the corner. Marius took a place on the opposite side. While his body appeared loose and relaxed, his eyes darted between Maui and the doors. When the compartment opened again near the top floor, I got out as fast as my injured leg would allow. After a short walk down the hall, Maui stopped in front of a pair of doors and motioned to the key-reader near the knob.

  “Would you please?” he asked.

  I snorted. After all this shit he wanted me to pop a lock? Maybe I should quit my job and start a magic show like Penn and Teller. Placing my palm on the knob, I gently asked the machine to flip the lock. With a soft beep and the flash of a green light, it disengaged, and I opened the door. Cool, rich air-conditioning spilled out over me, and I swear the fluffy mattress and clean sheets sang to me, begging me to join them.

  Maui spread his lips in a satisfied smile. “You’ve got a subtle touch.” He gestured for me to enter. “Wahine, your room.”

  I stepped into the huge entryway and flipped the light switch. The room was a study in cool sophistication and subliminal seduction. To my right, a long, red sectional couch sidled up beside a sleek, black coffee table. To the left, the king-sized bed sat dressed in ivory sheets with a thread-count higher than Flynn’s IQ.
Red throw pillows decorated the bed simply, but with the bedside lamps angled like spotlights, it was obvious this room was for more than just sleeping.

  Doors to the left of the bed led into a massive bathroom and vanity area. Silver fixtures and track lights accented the furniture. A small round table and chair set had been placed at the center of the floor-to-ceiling windows to maximize the epic view. Everything came in complimentary shades of crimson, ebony, and white.

  With memories of the gigantic bird swooping over the city, I let my bag fall to the ground and immediately moved to close the curtains.

  Bye-bye pirate ships moored in the lagoon. I refuse to see you in my nightmares.

  For a brief moment, I entertained the notion that if it meant I got access to this room on a regular basis, working for Maui might not be such a bad proposition. Then I remembered this would not be worth my soul no matter how deep the hot tub.

  By the time I finished surveying the suite, Maui and Marius stood in the room. Marius appraised the space, eyes lingering over the pristine bed. I couldn’t tell if the longing there was for sleep or the sport the mattress offered.

  Limping across the room, I flopped onto the sofa. It wasn’t too comfortable, but it sure as hell beat standing on my aching feet. I folded my hands in my lap and regarded the god with tactful respect.

  “I believe you said you’d tell me what you want from me.”

  Sitting on the corner of the bed, Maui flipped his sheet of hair over his shoulder. “You don’t waste time, do you?” he asked with a chuckle.

  “I don’t know how much time I have,” I said bluntly.

  The god nodded, a sad smile playing at his lips. “Fair enough, wahine. If I can, I will answer. But beware of what you ask.”

  Wow, I thought. A god just offered to answer any question I asked. Yeah, no pressure.

  “What’s your beef with me?”

  He raised an eyebrow as if I’d just asked him the airspeed velocity of an unladen wakwak.

  “You’ve tried to kill me twice tonight, and now you’re putting me up in a posh room? It doesn’t jive.”

  “I mean no harm, wahine.”

  “My front door and his arm call bullshit,” I said, hooking a thumb toward Marius.

  “And my car,” the satyr added.

  “So again, I’m left wondering: what’s the deal, Maui?”

  The god grinned. “I like you.”

  I let out a frustrated snarl and tossed a throw pillow at him. He batted it away with a hearty laugh. “I had to make sure you were a worthy bet,” he explained. “There was even a party specifically for the purpose of checking you out, but I’m told you left the ball early, Cinderella.”

  I chewed my lip. “Wait. The gala was for me?”

  “Well, it wasn’t exactly common knowledge, but yes. Those of us in the game wanted to see you and the rest of the guests just wanted to have a good time.”

  I blinked. “Wow. I guess I shouldn’t have ducked out when I did. Who’d a thunk that little old me and my soul would be so interesting.”

  “What about mine?” Marius asked. “Did she add me?”

  Maui looked sidelong at the satyr. “Who are you again?”

  I couldn’t help but snicker. Marius spat an oath, gave an “I’m done with you” wave, and stalked off to the bathroom. A few seconds later, the water began to run in the shower. With him gone, I felt awkwardly exposed. And exhausted. The hours and exertions catching up to me, my head began to fill with a cottony haze. I grasped for a coherent thought.

  “Am I the only soul up for grabs?”

  “Yes. But this is not what you really want to know.” He tilted his head down, his silky hair falling in front of his face like a luxurious curtain. Studying me as if I were a student trying to pull one over on the professor, he said, “Ask your questions, Catherine Sharp.”

  I swallowed a lump of worry. “Tell me about the game.”

  As he stood up and crossed to join me on the couch, Maui pulled a small black poker chip out of his pocket and began rolling it over his knuckles, the apple glittering in the diffused light of the room. The next of the tokens I was supposed to collect for Eris. I tensed, hands clenching the cushion.

  “Anansi folded early. Coward,” he spat. “Eris, Loki, Coyote, Puck, and I kept up the game. At the turn—the fourth card—your mistress bet it all. To sweeten her offer, she added this.” The golden apple on the chip gave a particularly sinister wink. “She told us it was the debt of a human soul, one with a mild gift of technomancy. None of us is stupid, so naturally we all suspected Eris was lying. The dealer called a break in the game so we could all check out the bet.”

  I jabbed a finger at my own chest. “Me.”

  “You,” Maui confirmed.

  “And to that end you decided to send sharks, pigs, and giant birds to try to kill me?” I asked, disgusted.

  He pawed at the air carelessly. “The kupua are what they are. I do not tell the shark to hunt, but if I let him swim free, he might kill a fish. Like I said, I’m sorry about your apartment. I didn’t want to hurt you, but if you didn’t survive then I would know you were not right for my needs.”

  I let out a skeptical laugh. “Yeah, Coyote gave me a good idea of his needs. What are yours?”

  Maui stood and began to pace the room. The poker chip flashed over his fist. For a while he seemed deep in thought but finally he spoke. “Have you ever been to my home, wahine?”

  Like many people, I’d always wanted to visit Hawaii. I’d planned little trips in my head and dreamed up exotic vacations, but those ideas always dangled in the nebulous world of Someday. In answer to Maui’s question, I shook my head.

  He sighed dreamily. “It is truly paradise. My island is, of course, the best. The sun rising over Haleakala Crater is a divine sight. The lush green mountains, soft beaches, the smell of plumeria blossoms mingling with the salt of the ocean. We gods have played there for lifetimes, and we fostered the land since it was little more than molten lava hardening in the sea. When I am not there, my heart aches to return.

  “But,” he went on, “this ache is nothing compared to the anger I feel when I see what has become of my people.”

  “I don’t understand,” I said, genuinely curious.

  “Coyote has said much the same of this place. You look outside and you see these decadent buildings, these palaces for the wealthy to come and take what they will. It’s the same on my island. Tourists come to spend nights in luxury while my people, the natives of the land, are left to scrape together what life they can in their tin sheds. Our traditions are seen as quaint exhibits at museums. Soon, it will all be legend, and there will be no one left to sing our songs.”

  “If no one sings,” I mused, “no one believes?” Flynn’s words echoed in my head. Belief is currency. “And you’ll die,” I whispered. He whipped his head toward me as if I’d smacked him. “If people stop believing in you, you’ll die. Right?”

  Somber, he bobbed his head in assent. “Something like that. And this is where I have need of someone like you, wahine.” Maui returned to the couch. “I have plans to take back the islands for the Hawaiians, to set things right.”

  “How?”

  “That,” he said with a smirk, “is for me to know, Catherine Sharp. Perhaps one day you will know, too, but as long as you wear the brand of another, I won’t tell. I will say that being so remote, out in the middle of the Pacific, we need those with the gift to speak with machines and computers.”

  “Like me.”

  “Like you,” he said, tapping my nose with a single finger.

  I swayed in my seat, bone weary.

  Maui got to his feet and made his way to the door. “And now, wahine, I think you should rest. You are my guest here and have my protection. Stay as long as you need. Eat. Drink. Enjoy your lover.”

  I looked to the bathroom. Steam crawled up from the door as Marius continued his shower. Neither of us would be enjoying much of anything for a while, let alone one another.


  “He’s not my lover.”

  “No?” Maui eyed the bathroom door. “Good. You can do better. Aim for the sun.” He winked. “Oh, and this belongs to you. Tell Eris I am in.”

  The poker chip flipped across the room, and I caught it with both hands. I could only stare at Maui.

  “I hope I’ll see you soon, wahine.”

  The god left the room, the door locking behind him.

  I shuffled the few steps to the bed, pulled back the covers, and climbed into the soft bliss it offered. Before my head hit the pillow, I passed into oblivion.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Torture Me”

  Cannon fire jolted me out of my dark, dreamless cocoon. With my heart beating as fast as a jackrabbit on cocaine, I sat bolt upright, eyes skittering around the unfamiliar room. I started to remember I was in a hotel right about the time people far below started cheering.

  My brain put things together in simple ideas. Hotel. Show outside. Not being attacked by angry deities or mutant, flesh-eating beasties.

  The fluttering in my chest began to subside, and I took in my first gulp of air.

  “Good morning,” Marius sang cheerfully.

  He’d opened the curtains, and the sun spilled in to fill the room. At the small table by the windows, he sat wearing a pair of black pajama pants and a smile.

  “Did you sleep well?” he asked.

  While I tried to remember how to form complete sentences, I pawed at my gummy eyes. Dry and caustic, my mouth felt about as hospitable as the desert outside.

  “I suppose,” I muttered, smoothing back my hair. “What time is it?”

  Marius retrieved a carafe of orange juice from a bucket of ice and poured some into a small glass. “Almost three in the afternoon.”

  “Shit! So late?”

  “You were dead to the world. Care for some breakfast?”

  Next to the satyr, a cart practically sagged with a collection of covered dishes. On the table were a bowl of fresh fruit and a steaming pot of coffee. My nose finally woke up and caught the scent of a hazelnut blend, hot buttery pancakes, and bacon. My stomach growled, ravenous, and I threw back the blanket to hop out of bed. I gasped and whipped the covers back over my bare legs.