Blow Out

by M. G. Higgins

  She picked up the hat and turned it around in her hands. All dress hats seemed over-the-top to Lacy, but this one was as understated as the dress—simple linen, with its outer edge trimmed in black. The ivory shoes on the floor had thin ankle straps and short heels. Lacy was surprised her mother knew her this well. The entire outfit was feminine, but not overly so.

  “Way to go, Mom,” she muttered.

  Lacy had hoped to make her decision while she showered. But walking back to her bedroom, she was no closer to choosing. She stopped again at the easy chair and ran her hand over the dress’s fabric. She read the label. A top designer. Lacy was accustomed to the best, the most expensive things. In many ways, this was her world. Would she really be comfortable with anything less? Why was she so focused on sports? What had soccer ever gotten her? Pain and anxiety, that’s what.

  Without thinking further, Lacy lifted the dress off the chair. She pulled down the zipper, stepped in, and wriggled into its snug form. After zipping herself up, she slipped her feet into the shoes. Finally, she set the hat onto her freshly dried hair. She stood before her full-length mirror.

  There was a knock at her door. Her mother came in and stood next to Lacy. Without a word, she adjusted Lacy’s hat. She rested her hands on Lacy’s shoulders and stared at their reflection. They stood that way for several seconds, her mother neither smiling nor frowning.

  Lacy wasn’t sure what her mother saw in the mirror. But Lacy knew what she saw. The girl in the mirror wasn’t her. She reached back and patted her mother’s hand.

  “Thank you for the beautiful dress. But I’m not going to the luncheon.”

  Her mother sighed and rubbed Lacy’s arms. She turned and left the room.

  C

  oach Berg started Raven instead of Lacy in the conference match. Lacy understood. She didn’t even mind, really. Raven had been the braver player those last few weeks. She deserved to be left forward. And it didn’t matter anyway. Whether on the sidelines or playing, a Copperheads game was where Lacy wanted to be.

  When she’d looked at herself in the mirror this morning, Lacy had seen a girl in a beautiful dress—a girl she didn’t know. Had her mother also seen that stranger? Lacy hoped so, but she doubted it.

  “Pass!” Coach Berg yelled from the sidelines. It was close to the end of the first half, and the Copperheads were struggling. They were playing the Saint Joseph Badgers, one of the top teams in the conference. The score was 2–1, Badgers.

  The whistle blew, and the referee indicated a foul. A Badger defender was slowly getting to her feet after Raven slid into her, trying to win the ball back. Raven drew a yellow card.

  “Come on, McAlister!” Coach Berg grumbled.

  Raven raised her hands in the air, acting oblivious.

  In the stands, someone yelled hysterically, “Are you blind, ref? That was not a foul!”

  Lacy looked over her shoulder from the bench. It was the man who’d scolded Raven at the scrimmage.

  Like father, like daughter? Lacy felt a moment of sympathy for Raven, but an angry dad in the stands didn’t justify Raven’s behavior.

  The Badgers were awarded a free kick. Luckily, Alyssa caught the ball and kept their opponents from grabbing another goal. Five minutes later, the half ended with no change in the score. The Copperheads trotted to the sideline, breathing hard and grabbing water bottles.

  Nita stood next to Lacy, shaking her head in disgust. “Not good,” Nita whispered. “They’re tough. And we’re not playing as a team.” Nita squeezed water from the bottle onto her head.

  Coach Berg rubbed a hand across his buzzed head, which he did any time he got anxious. His cheeks glowed as everyone gathered around. “Defenders, you need to stick to those attackers like glue. You’re giving them way too many views of the net. Work them to the side.” Coach Berg searched among the players. “Wong and Heisel. You need to shrink that gap between the two of you. And pass! If you’re open, yell it out!” Coach looked at Raven. “McAlister, you’re on the sideline. Sheridan, you’re in at left forward.”

  “What?” Raven shouted. All of her smarmy niceness was gone. The sidelines quieted as every Copperhead listened.

  He replied evenly, “You’re on your way to a red card, and we can’t afford more kicks against us.”

  “It’s not my fault! I can’t help it if that referee is an idiot!”

  Coach Berg stepped up to Raven until he was right in her face. “Do you remember our first practice? I said behavior matters.”

  Raven crossed her arms.

  “Well, you’d better drill it into your brain.” He faced the team again. Lacy stepped away from the bench and got to work warming up. She tried to keep one ear on Coach Berg so she could hear the rest of his halftime notes.

  Behind her, Lacy heard, “You’re going to quit.”

  Lacy twisted around. Raven sat on the ground behind her. Her eyes were narrowed to snakelike slits. The look sent goose bumps across Lacy’s arms.

  “What?” Lacy asked.

  “You’re going to tell Coach Berg you’re giving up your spot on the roster. You’re quitting the team today.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  She felt a sharp tug at her ponytail.

  “Ow!” Lacy swatted Raven’s hand away. “What is your problem?”

  “I wish I’d tripped you harder the first day of the semester.”

  “Raven … you need help.”

  “Do you really want to look over your shoulder for the rest of the semester?” Raven hissed. “During every practice? Every time you walk down the hallway?”

  Lacy didn’t know what to do. Should she yell for Coach Berg? If she did, Raven would deny everything. Worse, Raven would twist it around and say that Lacy was accusing her.

  Lacy was sick of worrying. Maybe choosing soccer was a mistake after all.

  Then Lacy remembered looking at a stranger in the mirror that morning. She wasn’t a mannequin in a Belle League dress. She wasn’t even the little kid Carrie needed to protect. And she definitely wasn’t a quitter. This was who she was: the Copperheads’ left forward, about to enter the second half of a soccer match.

  Lacy scrambled to her feet. So did Raven.

  “No,” Lacy told her. “I am not quitting the team. If I have to watch for you the rest of the semester, I will.”

  Raven opened her mouth to say something, but Lacy held up her hand. “You’re a damaged person, Raven. Eventually, you’re going to screw up and get caught. I suggest you stop before you make things even worse for yourself.”

  Raven glanced past Lacy into the stands. Her face screwed up like she might cry. Then she growled, “I hope you mess your leg up so bad you never play again.” She shoved Lacy’s shoulder before striding away.

  Nita trotted over. “What was that about?”

  Lacy had managed to be confident for a second, but suddenly her hands were trembling. “Nothing. Everything.”

  She glanced at the clock. There were only five minutes left before the start of the second half.

  “I really have to warm up,” Lacy said. “The last thing I need is for Raven’s wish to come true.”

  A

  s Lacy trotted onto the field, she tried to shake Raven’s last words: mess up your leg… never play again. They sounded like a curse.

  Coach Berg’s halftime talk had helped recharge the team. The Copperheads defense kept the Badger attackers from getting clean views of the net. In the first twenty minutes of the half, the Badgers had no shots on goal. On the other side of the field, the Copperheads were getting more and more opportunities to score. Lacy laid down a perfect corner kick, which Nita volleyed past the rushing defenders and the keeper. It was Nita’s first goal of the season, and she leaped into the air, punching her fist.

  “Yes!” she hollered. Lacy gave her a quick hug.

  With Nita’s goal, the score was tied 2−2. The Copperheads needed to keep the Badgers from scoring again. They also needed at least one more goal. Without Raven hogging the
ball and fouling the Saint Joseph defenders, Fraser High’s forwards were building up a nice momentum. They were keeping the ball on the Badger side of the field longer. But the Badger defenders were aggressive and constantly on the ball, making lots of steals. The few shots the Copperheads pulled off missed the net.

  The clock ticked down until four minutes were left in the match. Sophie was dribbling at left midfield.

  “Here!” Elise yelled from her right. Sophie passed it over, and Elise kept the ball moving behind the defenders to a charging Nita.

  Lacy’s fingertips tingled as the field organized itself around her. She started her run, anticipating Nita’s pass. But the ball was crossing fast. Too fast. It was headed for the sideline. Lacy sprinted after it. Time seemed to slow as Lacy realized what she had to do. In order to keep the ball inbounds to set up a possible winning goal, she had to pull off the move that had torn the cartilage in her right knee. The move she’d screwed up in her nightmares for the past ten months.

  Terror and determination fought in Lacy’s head, as they always had since the injury. But this wasn’t like before. Lacy knew who she was. Instead of slowing, she picked up speed. She planted her right foot on the grass and sent the ball inbounds. Her knee held.

  But Lacy didn’t have time to celebrate. A defender was closing in. Lacy stepped over the ball, throwing the Badger off-balance. Lacy had the space and time to see Nita making a run into the box. She didn’t hesitate. Seconds later, Nita’s diving header buried the ball in the back of the net.

  The Copperhead sidelines exploded with cheers. The match ended with no more goals for either side.

  The Copperheads had more matches ahead of them that season. But Lacy felt as though they’d just won regionals. She thought she might float off the ground. Nita wrapped her sweaty arm around Lacy’s shoulders. “You did it, Lace!”

  “So did you! Two goals!”

  Nita looked into the stands and waved. Lacy looked, too. Reggie waved back. Next to him, Peyton’s beaming smile rivaled the North Carolina sunshine.

  Nita let go of Lacy and looked her in the eyes. “I’m sensing a vibe between you two. Am I right?”

  Lacy could feel her cheeks warming. “Maybe.” But she knew there was a vibe. A huge vibe. How could she have been so fearful as to think she couldn’t balance soccer and a guy—especially one as nice as Peyton? Lacy just hoped he hadn’t been too offended when she turned down his dinner invitation. If his smile was any indication, that wasn’t the case.

  Farther down the bleachers, a woman’s blue hat caught her eye. The woman wore a dress to match. She was climbing down the steps. Lacy gasped, “Mother?”

  Nita laughed. “Are you freaking kidding me? She never comes to your matches.”

  Lacy looked closer to make sure. “It’s her. She must have left the luncheon early. I need to talk to her.”

  As Lacy took a step toward the stands, Coach Berg barked, “Sheridan! Ortiz!”

  “Come on, Lace,” Nita said, tugging her arm. “Coach Berg will give your position to Raven if you miss his after-match meeting.”

  Lacy nodded. But she paused long enough to see her mother reach the bottom of the stands and look out toward the field. Their eyes met. Lacy gave her a small, tentative wave. Her mother smiled demurely, turned, and left.

  After sharing his notes with the team, Coach Berg asked Lacy to stay for a moment. A private meeting with Coach Berg always meant some kind of chewing out, so she prepared for the worst.

  “Stay with me?” she mouthed to Nita, who nodded.

  Lacy guessed it had something to do with keeping Raven at forward. That’s when Lacy realized she hadn’t seen Raven since halftime. The man with the red face had disappeared from the stands, too.

  “Good game,” Coach started. “Unless something comes up, you’re left forward for the rest of the season.”

  Lacy stood there.

  Coach looked at her. “That’s it. You can go.”

  “But … what about Raven?”

  “McAlister is no longer a Copperhead. She left after the first half without permission. Not to mention the fouls and poor behavior.”

  It took a few seconds for the news to sink in. Lacy said, “Coach, can I ask you a question?”

  He nodded.

  “Did you recruit Raven to … um … speed my recovery?”

  He smirked. “See you at tomorrow’s match.” He left, leaving Lacy and Nita alone.

  “Huh,” Nita muttered.

  “Huh is right.”

  Reggie looped his arm through Nita’s. “Excellent match, ladies.” He wrinkled his nose.

  “Yeah, I stink,” Nita said. “It was a long eighty minutes.” She turned to Lacy. “Shall we retire to the locker room, Lacy Lou?”

  “Yes, Juanita, I think we shall.” Lacy looked back at Peyton. “Will you be here when we get back?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Good. I want to ask what you know about coaching.”

  He grinned. “It would be my pleasure.”

  As they walked to the locker room, Nita said, “Since when have you been thinking about becoming a coach?”

  “Since today.” Lacy smiled. “The future isn’t as scary as I thought it was.”