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The Wily O'Reilly: Irish Country Stories (Irish Country Books)

Page 31

by Taylor, Patrick


  Today in Ulster (but not in 1946 where this book is set) official signs are written in English, Irish, and Ulster Scots. The washroom sign would read Toilets, Leithris, and Cludgies respectively.

  I hope what follows here will enhance your enjoyment of the work and unravel some of the mysteries of Ulsterspeak, although, I am afraid, it will not improve your command of Ulster Scots.

  anyroad: Anyway.

  away off and…: Go away, or you are being stupid. Often succeeded by feel your head or chase yourself.

  bar: Refuse admission, as from a public house.

  barge: Force your way through a crowd. Verbally chastise.

  barmbrack: Speckled bread. (See Kinky’s recipe, Irish Country Doctor p. 340)

  bide (where you’re at): Stay (where you are).

  boke: Vomit.

  bollix: Testicles (impolite). May be used as an expression of vehement disagreement or to describe a person of whom you disapprove.

  bonnaught: Irish mercenary of the fourteenth century.

  bonnet: Hood (when applied to a car).

  both legs the same length: Standing about uselessly.

  bowler hat: Derby hat.

  brass neck: Chutzpah. Impertinence.

  brave: Large or good.

  brave wheen: Large number of.

  but: Ulster folks have a habit of putting “but” not at the beginning of a sentence but at the end.

  capped/cap: A cap was awarded to athletes selected for important teams. Equivalent to a “letter” at a University.

  cracker: Excellent.

  crisps: Potato chips. In 1946 there was only one flavour and the salt came in a little bag of blue greaseproof paper.

  currency: In 1946, well prior to decimilisation, sterling was the currency of the United Kingdom, of which Northern Ireland was a part. The unit was the pound, which contained twenty shillings, each made of twelve pennies, thus there were 240 pennies in a pound. Coins and notes of combined or lesser or greater denominations were in circulation often referred to by slang or archaic terms: halfpenny (two to the penny), threepenny piece (thruppeny bit), sixpenny piece (tanner), two-shillings piece (florin), two-shillings-and-sixpence piece (half a crown), ten-shilling note (ten-bob note), guinea coin worth one pound and one shilling, five-pound note (fiver). In 1946 one pound bought nearly three U.S. dollars.

  demob: Demobilise. Be honourably discharged from the armed forces. Ulster was an anomaly in the Second World War. Unlike the rest of the United Kingdom there was no conscription there. Ulster members of the peacetime reserve forces like the Territorial Army, Royal Air Force Volunteer Reserve, and Royal Naval Reserve were called up to fight, but all other Ulstermen, and indeed Irishmen, like RAF fighter pilot Paddy Finucane, were volunteers.

  desperate: Immense, or terrible.

  divil: Devil.

  divilment: Mischief.

  donkey’s age: A very long time.

  dote/doting: Something (person or animal) adorable/being crazy about or simply being crazy (in one’s dotage).

  duncher: Cloth cap, usually tweed.

  eejit: Idiot.

  face like a Lurgan spade: The turf-cutting spade particular to the town of Lurgan and surounds was longer than most, so, having a very long face.

  feck, and variations: Corruption of “fuck.” Its scatalogical shock value is now so debased that it is no more offensive than “like” larded into teenagers’ chat. Now available at reputable bookstores is the Feckin’ Book of Irish … a series of ten books by Murphy and O’Dea.

  feel your head: See away off.

  ferocious: Extremely bad or very upsetting.

  fey: Having the gift of second sight.

  git: Corruption of “got,” a short form of “begotten.” Often expressed as “hoor’s (whore’s) git” or bastard.

  give lip: Be cheeky or insulting to.

  glipe (great): stupid (or very stupid) person.

  go ’way (out of that): I don’t believe you, or I know you are trying to fool me.

  head (nautical): Lavatory.

  headstaggers: A disease of sheep where a parasite invades the brain causing the animal to stagger and fall.

  highheejin: Upper-class person.

  HMS: His/Her Majesty’s Ship.

  hobbyhorse shite: Literally sawdust. Rubbish.

  hot half un: Measure of spirits, usually whiskey, to which is added sugar, lemon juice, cloves, and boiling water.

  hould your wheest: Keep quiet.

  kipper: A butterflied and gutted herring, pickled or salted and cold smoked, usually over oak chips.

  knows his onions: Is very knowledgeable about.

  more power to your wheel: Words of encouragement.

  no goat’s toe: Has a very high and usually misplaced opinion of onesself.

  no harm to you: An expression used prior to delivering bad news or disagreeing with the person being addressed.

  no mission: Hopeless.

  on your bike: Forceful “go away.”

  put in his box: Taken down a peg or two.

  quare: Queer. Used to mean very strange, or exceptional.

  R.N./R.N.R.: These letters following a name indicate either Royal Navy for someone who has joined in a career capacity or Royal Navy Reserve for merchant seamen who volunteered for extra training with the Royal Navy during peacetime and who, in times of emergency, were liable for call-up to active service.

  scrip: Prescription.

  see: See you, him, me. Drawing emphasis to the person “seen.” It does not actually mean that they are in sight.

  shit: Verb.

  shite: Noun.

  shout: In a bar, the person named’s turn to buy.

  shut your yap: Shut up.

  so (so it is): Much used at the ends of sentences for emphasis in County Cork. (The same in Ulster.)

  soft-soaper: Flatterer.

  sound (man): Reliable or very good (man).

  stunned mullet: To look stupid, surprised, or absolutely out of touch. A mullet is an ugly saltwater fish.

  sucking diesel: Hitting paydirt. Probably in reference to siphoning tractor fuel.

  telt: Told.

  thole: Put up with. Suffer in silence.

  thon (der): That person or thing (over there).

  thran: Bloody-minded.

  tinker’s toss/damn/curse: Tinkers were itinerant menders with tins of pots and pans. Their attributes were not highly prized.

  to beat Ban(n)agher: Far exceed realistic expectations or to one’s great surprise.

  toty: Very small.

  turn: Faint.

  warm: Have lots of money.

  wee: Small, but in Ulster can be used to modify almost anything without reference to size. A barmaid, an old friend, greeted me by saying, “Come in, Pat. Have a wee seat and I’ll get you a wee menu, and would you like a wee drink while you’re waiting?”

  wee man: The devil.

  well mended: Recovered from a recent illness.

  wheen: An indeterminate number.

  wheest: Shut up or be quiet.

  wind: Bowel gas.

  you know: Verbal punctuation often used when the person being addressed could not possibly be in possession of the information.

  your man (I’m): Someone either whose name is not known, “Your man over there? Who is he?” or someone known to all, “Your man, Van Morrison.”

  you’re on: I will do what you ask or I accept the wager.

  youse: You plural.

  BY PATRICK TAYLOR

  Only Wounded

  Pray for Us Sinners

  Now and in the Hour of Our Death

  An Irish Country Doctor

  An Irish Country Village

  An Irish Country Christmas

  An Irish Country Girl

  An Irish Country Courtship

  A Dublin Student Doctor

  An Irish Country Wedding

  Fingal O’Reilly, Irish Doctor

  The Wily O’Reilly

  “Home Is the Sailor” (e-original)
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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Patrick Taylor, M.D., was born and raised in Bangor, County Down, in Northern Ireland. Dr. Taylor is a distinguished medical researcher, offshore sailor, model-boat builder, and father of two grown children. He now lives on Saltspring Island, British Columbia.

  This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in the short stories and columns in this collection are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  THE WILY O’REILLY: IRISH COUNTRY STORIES

  Copyright © 2014 by Ballybucklebo Stories Corp.

  All rights reserved.

  These columns first appeared in Stitches: The Journal of Medical Humour, which was published between 1993 and 2003 by Stitches Publishing Inc. of Newmarket, Ontario.

  “Home Is the Sailor” was originally published as an e-book by Forge in 2013.

  Cover art by Greg Manchess

  A Forge Book

  Published by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC

  175 Fifth Avenue

  New York, NY 10010

  www.tor-forge.com

  Forge® is a registered trademark of Tom Doherty Associates, LLC.

  The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

  ISBN 978-0-7653-3838-9 (hardcover)

  ISBN 978-1-4668-3887-1 (e-book)

  e-ISBN 9781466838871

  First Edition: February 2014

  tor-forge.com/author/patricktaylor • Also available in audiobook

 

 

 


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