by Lila Felix
“I was going to let you sleep in today.”
He gripped my hand and pulled me tighter against his back.
“I’ve got to get my dad breakfast. I always do on Sundays, but I want to today too.”
“Five more minutes.” I would’ve thought his request was real if not for the movement of his laughter.
“Okay. Five more minutes, but only because you’re warm.”
Those may have been the most blissful moments of my life. His shirt was off and while I had the opportunity, I snuck a peek at his tattoo. It covered his entire back.
“How long did this take?”
Chapter Sixteen
Beatriz
My hands were on his back.
He had to know what he was doing to me.
“It’s a family crest.”
“Yes.”
There’s just so many words I could speak through clenched teeth without sounding like a cow getting prodded.
“How long did it take to get this done?”
He turned around to face me and I groaned at the movement. I’d been completely comfortable before.
“I think it was four or five sessions.”
I could see him scanning me for tattoos, but his shirt was so big on me that I couldn’t even see my elbows, much less anything else.
“I have three.”
He tsked while pianoing his fingers up my arm and along my neck. “Now you’re just taunting me.”
“I can show you one.” I pulled up his gray t-shirt to reveal my side. Written in old graffiti script was ‘miles and miles’. Cyrus traced every letter with his pointer finger while I waited in baited breath for it to be over while hoping it never ended. Just as he landed on the last letter, he began a backward path.
I lost myself again. Every time he touched me, got caught in his maze.
“We need to get to your dad’s house. Unless you don’t want me to go? I understand if you don’t. We need to be honest and upfront about your time. I want to be here for you, but I can’t keep interrupting your life. I’m happy just to have the extra moments.”
Framing his face with my hands I squeezed tight, hoping it would help my message get through. “You’re not interrupting my life. You’re a part of it now.”
With a smile, he leaned over and kissed my forehead. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be ready in ten minutes. Do you want to stop at your place first?”
I told him I did, to change clothes. True to his word, he was ready in less than ten minutes, looking like he’d taken an hour. We stopped at my apartment. I changed while he sat in his truck, insistent that he get to drive me around.
We stopped and got my dad’s breakfast and coffee and he let me pick out things for him to try since he’d never had anything from the bakery and reading a menu in Spanish wasn’t a task he’d gotten to yet.
Silence filled the truck on the way to my house. When he pulled into the driveway and threw it into park, he grabbed my hand. “Hey, I need to say something before we go in.”
I nodded.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to stir up anything with your dad. I’ll keep my distance.”
“What?”
He looked to my house and back to me. “I just—I know that your dad wants you and Peter together and sometimes he tends to get upset about things easily. It’s okay if you want to keep this low key. It won’t bother me.”
This was it. This was the time to tell him. If I had any bravery at all, my time was then. I couldn’t pinpoint a solid reason not to—but I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t know if it was the betrayal I felt for divulging such a personal fact about my dad or that I simply didn’t want Cyrus to worry about it.
There was the other thing—that cloud which never left my mind. I knew deep down that Peter wanted the property that my dad’s shop was located on. He’d mentioned it time after time when we were dating. It was prime property, settled in a perfect spot in New Orleans. Peter knew about Dad’s Alzheimer’s. He waited in the wings for it to get worse. And if Cyrus knew—maybe he’d agree that it was time to retire my dad—retiring my mother and everything they were about in the process.
I wasn’t ready.
It was selfish of me, but that place was the only tie I had left to them as a couple—other than our home—and my car.
“He told me he liked you last night.”
He chuckled. “Was he drunk?”
“Partially. But that’s when he gets really honest. Sometimes it’s better when he’s drinking.”
He ground his jaw. He did that a lot. Light green eyes bounced from the house to me and back again, like they were deciding what to do.
“I’ll follow your lead. Whatever you choose is fine with me.”
I heard the music before I got the door unlocked. My dad wasn’t one to listen to music softly in the background. He always kept the music so loud that my mom and I usually had to rely on hand signals to communicate.
There was no confusing my dad’s mood. It always matched the music.
And today, the trumpets and violins told me that it was another good day.
I put the cakes and bread on the table along with coffee, just in case. “Papa?”
I’d screamed it.
“Buenos dias, mi amor.” He kissed me about a hundred times all over my face. His moustache hadn’t been shaved and I was sure it left me with a chapped face. “What have we here? Desayuno?”
“Yes, of course breakfast.”
“And you brought my best worker.” My dad waggled his eyebrows at Cyrus. Poor guy, he was waiting to see what would go down, leaned against the kitchen counter in the corner like he didn’t belong.
“He came to have breakfast with us.”
“Good.”
My dad talked our heads off. He told stories of me from when I was little that even I didn’t know about. He was normal. There was no repeating of sentences and no freak-outs.
Maybe Cyrus brought out the best in him like he did me.
I waited until he got done with the last story before making my excuses. I flirted with blowing off the bout altogether so I could bask in this day with my dad, but decided against it.
I made a commitment to derby.
“Dad, I have to go. I have to eat and then get to derby practice.”
“You and your roller skates. Go then, go. Leave your father here alone like an orphan.”
He was joking, but that didn’t help at all.
“Dad…” I whined.
“I’ll see you Monday, Jacob.” Cyrus moved to the door after shaking my dad’s hand. I couldn’t remember Peter ever shaking my dad’s hand.
“Go, go, go! I’m going to watch my movie.”
I smiled all the way to the truck.
“I love that smile.” Cyrus mentioned while backing out of the driveway.
“Thank you.”
We talked about nonsense while he drove me home. I’d looked over at him countless times to bring up the question of the hour, but had chickened out every time. I didn’t want him to say no.
“What?” He finally said, catching my glance.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t start lying to me now, woman.”
“You won’t come to the bout?”
It was exhilarating to think about Cyrus’ eyes on me while I played.
“I will, but you won’t see me probably. But I’ll be there. I promise.”
Other people’s promises didn’t mean jack shit to me—but his did.
“That’s fine. You get to watch me beat down on some girls.”
I pulled the handle to get out of the truck, but he stopped me with a hand on the shoulder. “Can—can you do me a favor?”
“Yes.”
“Just—just—don’t end up in the hospital again, okay?”
“Okay.”
I’ve become one of those girls. I swore I would never be one of those girls.
“You’ve become one of those girls.” Zuri whispered in my ear. I rolled
my eyes at her correct assumption.
“Shut up.”
“Do you want me to get on the PA and announce it? I swear I will. I can make it a thing.”
Zuri was tacked with entertaining the crowd before the bout. She was in charge of teaching them the cheers and making them laugh with quirky facts about the players. Sometimes she’d call us out of the team’s warm-up to join in.
She’d made us all show off our rink rash.
Zuri did a great job of making the audience know that what we did wasn’t just for fun or to be seen as badass women. It was a sport. We were athletes just like anyone else.
Just because roller derby didn’t get as much attention, didn’t make it any less of a sport.
“No. Don’t make it a thing.”
“He’s good to you? Not like the asshat?”
I sighed and clunked my head down on his shoulder. “Nothing like the asshat.”
“He’s as good as gold then, in my book.”
Zuri had never approved of Peter and if they were in the same room, it was like two of those mountain goats slamming their heads together.
“Zuri, go rustle up the crowd.” Nellie waited until Zuri had left. She looked like she had something on her mind.
“Is he coming?”
I gasped. “Scout has the biggest mouth on the face of the planet.”
“Duh. We are like the Young and the Gossipy around here. How’s my boy?”
“He’s good. He misses his family. He’ll come around.” I coiled as much assurance as I could into my words.
“You—you’re helping him?”
I didn’t want to divulge how much I was helping him. But something told me that her mother’s instinct already knew.
“I am.”
“We aren’t like other families, you know. When one of us is gone, we feel it. Everything is different. His absence is painful for me and for his father.” She gave a wave to Owen Black, standing in the crowds. “If you can, bring him home. No pressure.” She tried to joke about it, but her sincerity rang true.
I hugged her. “I’m gonna try. I promise.”
Shit. Why had I promised that?
“Now get your ass warmed up. This other team is good. Show them that we’re better.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Halftime rolled around and I still didn’t see him. Like an idiot, I went to the snack bar and bought a bottle of water even though the team had water and other drinks for free. I had to see if he was there—sneaky bastard.
I looked everywhere.
Certainly, I’d be able to spot a six foot tall man with a bun in his hair.
Certainly.
I didn’t let it get me down. I played the second half like my life depended on it. I was on fire. One of the girls from the other team even gave me a high five, hug thing, telling me that she was impressed.
I’d stopped looking for him.
As usual, I was the last one out of the locker room. I picked my bag up and started to leave only to be startled by a clearing of a throat. I’d know the sounds he made anywhere.
“You’re late.”
He laughed and I swore the lockers melted. “I’m not late. I saw it all. You killed it out there.”
“I didn’t see you.”
He twisted his lips in a pose that struck me as ‘so what’. “I’m a ninja.”
“You saw everything? You saw that awesome jam where I scored twenty points?”
“Blockers can’t score. There’s no star on that glittery helmet of yours.”
I didn’t know what was sexier, Cyrus in the locker room or his knowledge of derby.
“I’m going to the after-party.”
“I figured. I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t come. I wanted you to know that I kept my word.”
I dropped my bag and walked over to him. “I didn’t doubt you, Cyrus. I knew that I didn’t see you, but I didn’t doubt you were here.”
Just to prove my words, I walked up to him and kissed him on the neck, slow and sultry. I’d always wanted to kiss a guy on the neck. I turned, without seeing his reaction, and headed out.
I’d made the perfect getaway leaving him hanging—until that damned car wouldn’t start again.
I hit my head against the driver’s side window while the footsteps got closer and so did the laughing.
“This car hates me.”
“Whatever. This car loves me. It breaks down when you need to be taught a lesson and when I’ve gotten too far away, it runs right into my truck. This car is smart.”
He spoke some truth. That first night I’d met him, I needed a lesson in kindness and humility.
“And what lesson do I need tonight?”
He passed behind me and ran his palm along my backside. “A lesson in leaving me after a kiss like that without the chance to reciprocate.”
“Did you just touch my ass?”
“Yep.”
No apology or anything.
“Got those cables?”
“In the back seat.”
He got them and had his truck hooked up to my car and the damned thing just purred for him every time. “There. Bring it into the shop when you can, let me look at it. I think it needs a new alternator. It’s the least I can do.”
My bitch just floated away when Cyrus talked to me.
“Cyrus, you don’t owe me anything.” I’d turned around to watch him work. I’d leaned against the car. My hands were pinned behind me. Under his stare, I felt like a teenager again. I wasn’t far from it, but even at sixteen, no boy had made my heart feel so nimble.
He stalked toward me with a purpose. He wedged his thigh between my legs and leaned down so that our noses touched. His mint green eyes glowed under the light of the yellowing parking lot light. We stood like that for what felt like hours, him leaned against me. Breathing me in. Breathing him in. He found my hands behind my back and time stilled as he got closer and closer to my neck.
Soft lips touched my skin right below my chin and I swallowed, too loud to be normal. They moved along the side of my neck without losing contact. My heart was beating so hard and fast, I just knew he could feel it, maybe even hear it. It beat against my skin at every pulse point demanding to be noticed. He continued his assault, placing whispers of kisses along my neck until he reached my ear.
“I owe you everything, honey.”
“Honey?”
“Yes, honey.”
Shit. I’d said that out loud.
“Go be with your friends and I will see you tomorrow.”
I whimpered when he released me from the hold he had on me body and heart. He got into his truck, but I knew him better than to leave before I did. My car was already cranked, but it took me a few seconds to get a grip on myself enough to drive somewhere without killing myself or someone else.
I got to the after party and Scout was waiting for me.
“Dude, I texted you. I was worried.”
My eyes must’ve told her where I was.
A tick of a smile showed on the corner of her mouth. “He was there.”
“Yes. In the locker room and then the parking lot. He saw the whole bout.”
“He’ll come home one day.” Nellie was by Scout’s side in no time.
“Aren’t we here to celebrate?” We hadn’t won, but we celebrated every time like we had. The other team, from Houston, had joined us for the fun. We often shared the after-party with the other team and I hadn’t been to one where anyone harbored any anger or bad sportsmanship.
I couldn’t name another sport where the opposing team and the home team celebrate together.
Zuri was in full force that night. Not only did she dance on the tables, but she sang to a song that wasn’t playing on the loud speakers—still in her skates.
The whole thing was a little overwhelming.
I cornered myself at a table and on a scratch napkin with a pen I’d scored from the waitress, I began a list of things to get done the next day. I couldn’t help myself.
“You okay?”
Storey Black was in front of me, looking down at my list.
“Yeah. I just have all kinds of things to do.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
I looked around the place. No one else had noticed I was missing.
“You’re missing the party.”
She pulled up a barstool and sat beside me.
“Wanna know a secret?”
“Sure.”
She patted my hand and looked around to make sure she wouldn’t be overheard. “I’m getting too old for this. I’ve got a kid at home and I’m missing Mad.”
“I’ve got all this stuff to do and I’m missing…”
“Cyrus. We all know. All secret keeping genes died with Sylvia. If you’re gonna be around, don’t say anything to any of us that you don’t want put on a billboard. I swear. But they’re the best, you know?”
I was beginning to know.
“I’m going to be around, if that’s okay.”
She received some secret hand signal from Nellie Black. “Yeah. You’re gonna be around—more than you probably want to. So tell me what this is about.”
I spilled my guts. The party died down and everyone went home and I was still blabbering.
Except now, I had the ears of Storey, Nellie, and Scout Black. I felt like I was speaking to the great trifecta of roller derby.
Except Reed wasn’t there. She would’ve made the council complete.
“Okay, so really what you need is hands and bodies to help in getting these little things done up to code.”
“That’s it. It’s just a lot for me and sometimes Zuri to do.”
“Cyrus didn’t offer to help? I swear if he ever comes back I’m gonna knock him in to next week.”
I interrupted after choking on my laughter. “No, he did. He helped with the electrical stuff and some painting.”
The three girls all shared a look and for a second, I could’ve sworn they were talking telepathically.
“How busy are you tomorrow?”
“I’ve got to help Cyrus with something in the afternoon, but other than that, I’ll be at the Hope Place, why?”
These women were frightening as a pack.
“You bring the list. We’ll bring the bodies and the water. Meet us at your place at eight; text Nellie the address.”
I felt like a soldier receiving orders.