Wanting It All: A Naked Men Novel

by Christi Barth

  Damn. Knox swallowed back the ball of guilty bile that rose in his throat. Josh had struggled with dyslexia all his life. He’d worked his ass off. Knox had a theory it was why Josh started creating his own recipes. It kept him from having to read cookbooks.

  Knox had bought him Dragon software to do their Naked Men blog more easily. But hounding him about it was off-limits. The kicker was that Josh wouldn’t care. He’d be glad that Knox treated him like all the other guys. Knox cared, though. And he owed the other man a huge apology.

  Finally, Griff moved right in front of Knox, legs spread wide, hands behind his back in one of his Coast Guard stances. “Something’s going on with you. Yesterday you spilled coffee on your tie and didn’t even change it before leaving. You bit Josh’s head off for almost no reason. You can be pissy, but if you take it out on one of us, then you’ve got to explain why.”

  Griff was right. Knox had brought this on himself. “I had a bad date. Well, a weird date.”

  Griff crossed his arms over his chest. “You usually rinse the taste of a bad date out of your mouth by jumping straight into two more. Sometimes simultaneously. How’d this one tie you up in knots?”

  “It’s that girl, isn’t it?” Josh dug back into the chips. “The one you said would keep you off the grid for a while.”

  “Her name’s Madison.” Knox was quite certain he’d mentioned that before.

  “Did she withhold sex?”

  “Hardly.” Sex with Madison was electric. Mind-blowing. Maybe even the best ever. Not that he’d say that out loud—to her or to the ACSs. Saying she was the best brought along with it all sorts of inferences. Things like how he’d be crazy, ergo, to ever leave her.

  Riley took the chip bowl from Josh. “Did she drop you?”

  Good thing Knox hadn’t picked up his beer again, or he would’ve done a massive spit take. “Hardly.”

  “For fuck’s sake,” Griffin burst out. “The sooner you start talking, the sooner we can all be done with it.”

  “Fine.” He couldn’t do it sitting down, though. Knox started to pace, from the steps, past the grill, the bar, to the hot tub. “She wants to get married.”

  All three of his friends burst out laughing. So loudly that it covered up the Paramore song coming out of the speakers. Yeah, he got it. Talk about picking the wrong horse in a race. He’d be the first one to laugh if it happened to any of them.

  Finally, gasping and holding his sides, Josh asked, “To you?”

  “Maybe.” That brought on a fresh round of laughs. “To someone, that’s for damn sure, and as soon as possible. Which I don’t get.”

  “I agree.” Riley came over and stuck his feet in the hot tub. “Why do women want to race to marriage? There isn’t a prize for getting there before their friends. If all they want is to throw a big party and get presents, they should do it on their birthday. Not bother roping in a man to stand there for all the hoopla.”

  Knox sat down next to him on the edge of the hot tub, after turning on the jets. “Exactly. Why does having fun with a woman have to stifle my independence?”

  Griff tapped the tongs against the side of the barbecue to draw everyone’s attention. “Sorry, I’m going to have to call a point of order. You do remember that I want to get married, right? The institution itself isn’t bad. Just getting there too fast or with the wrong person.”

  “For the next five minutes, can you pretend you’re not gaga over Chloe? She could still give you back the ring, which makes you still one of us. I’m being serious, for once, and right now you’re defending the wrong side.”

  “I’m always on your side, Knox. Generally speaking, I agree. Every woman in the known universe seems to be in a rush to get married. Every woman except my stubborn girlfriend. But did Madison actually propose to you on your horrific and weird date?”

  Knox wasn’t entirely sure. As soon as she brought up the word marriage, his ears started ringing. His vision blurred. There was every chance he’d had a mini-stroke from the combination of shock and panic.

  “She announced her intention. Like those riders you have to sign before paintball, acknowledging that you might be killed and it isn’t their fault that you got in the line of fire.”

  Josh made a gun out of his thumb and forefinger and aimed it at Knox. “You got in her sights and now she’s pulling the commitment trigger?”

  “If I’m worthy.” The uncertainty of which maybe pissed him off as much as the idea of being dragged to the altar.

  “Huh?”

  Knox was starting to get hot. He’d blame it on the hot tub. For now. Pacing on the cool slate tiles helped. “Madison hasn’t decided if I’m good enough for her or not. This whole thing was just a heads-up.”

  “Not good enough?” Griff’s jaw dropped open. “Didn’t you just make like two hundred dollars in interest while we talked about this?”

  “Probably twice that.”

  Riley scratched his head, looking as confused as Griffin. “You do sudoku in ink—which proves you’re both smart and cocky. And annoying as shit to the rest of us. But the smart part usually impresses chicks.”

  “The smarts she doesn’t seem to mind. It’s the money that’s the hang-up for her.”

  Another gurgle of laughter from Josh. “Problem solved. Give it all to me.”

  “Very funny.” They all joked about Knox’s wealth. They also all knew how much it meant to him that he had a safety net, both for his sake and his mother’s. None of them took the cash, or how hard he worked for it, for granted. “The weirdest part is that she couldn’t care less about my reputation.”

  “You mean the part about how you claim to have banged half the women in the mid-Atlantic? Or your reputation as a guy who shanks his on-goal kicks under pressure?”

  Riley’s half-assed insult was easy to ignore. Trash talk about soccer was as normal as checking the Nats stats on a daily basis. “Don’t limit my sexploits to the mid-Atlantic. I’ve had good success down in the Carolinas, too. Do I need to whip out my sex map?”

  “God, no.” Riley shuddered in mock horror. “But now you’ve added Alaska. Isn’t that enough?”

  It should be. Yet every time he thought about Madison, it brightened his day like a damn bug light going off in his psyche, making it impossible to slough her off. “No.”

  Riley picked up three limes from a bowl on the bar and began to juggle. Show-off. “Look, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t be mad at her for bringing up marriage, and then be mad that she hasn’t decided if you’re marriage material. Which, for the record, we all know you sure as hell are not.”

  “Obviously. I’m never limiting myself to one woman. I’d never eat pizza for a month straight. Why should I be more boring with women than with my food choices?”

  “When these five minutes are up and I can go back to being madly in love with Chloe, I’m going to smack you across the back of the head for that remark.” Griff’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “But for now? Sure. I’ll go with it. A beautiful blonde with a big rack would be torture to share a bed with every damn day.”

  Of course. They couldn’t remember her name, but they remembered his mentioning her cup size. “I’m just not done with her yet. Why does she have to get serious? Why can’t we keep having fun until…” It wasn’t quite as simple to figure out how to end the sentence. He should say until he’d ditch her. But that seemed too harsh for Madison. “…until we’re not anymore,” Knox finished lamely.

  “You want to have your cake.” As usual, Josh brought everything back to food. “Eat it. But not hold on to the leftovers.”

  “Right.”

  Griff pointed at the all-time-zone clock they’d installed once Logan started disappearing to other hemispheres. “Time’s up. Which means I can point out that while your companies are disposable like that, women are not.”

  Great. Now Knox had the problem of his company sale back in the forefront of his mind. Something else that confused him and pissed him off for no good
reason.

  They were all silent for a moment. Then Josh clapped his hands together. “I’ve got it. This should be our next podcast. Do women want the white dress more than they want the man? Why are they all about reining in our independence?”

  “I could riff on that for a whole hour all by myself,” Knox said grimly.

  Griffin headed over to the grill. “This doesn’t get you off the hook, Josh. All you did was swipe Knox’s head-scratcher. You’re still responsible for another topic.”

  “This Madison sounds like an emotional hell-raiser. I’m sure she’ll provide more inspiration in the ranting and venting department.”

  Knox was sure of that, too. Just as sure as he was completely unsure if she was worth the trouble.

  Or what to do next.

  Chapter 9

  Madison couldn’t be happier. She was in her new, albeit shared, apartment. She loved everything about it. The black and white bathroom floor tiles, the long galley kitchen with granite countertops like she’d seen on a zillion home rehab shows. Oh, and the view from her bedroom of the cascading fountain at Meridian Hill Park. There was a gym downstairs, and a sort of hangout room with a pool table where she hoped to meet other residents.

  Annabeth had turned out to be a great roommate. She believed in an entire shelf in the freezer for ice cream and in sharing hair accessories. Summer had brought her best friend, Chloe, over to join them this evening, so Madison was making yet another new friend. And she had her favorite chicken enchiladas baking in the oven. It was everything she’d hoped for in her new life.

  Almost.

  Okay, all things considered…still…maybe Madison could be a little bit happier. Because the way things had ended with Knox on Sunday night still sat in her craw like a grain of sand in an oyster. It had been four days. She’d sent him dirty texts. He’d responded. She’d called once to tell him a funny story about a tourist who tried to slide down the Library’s wide marble bannister but knocked himself out by bonking into the bronze statue on the newel post.

  Knox laughed in the right places. Texted her a photo of a bannister that circled up at least four floors somewhere inside the Capitol building, with the suggestion that the tourist try there next. But there’d been no repeat of sexy times. No mention of another date. No reaching out from him to her. Madison hadn’t decided if she was frustrated, pissy, hurt, or some combination of the three.

  She carried two platters to the coffee table. “Mexican deviled eggs—they’ve got a bit of a kick to them from the pickled jalapeños, so watch out—and empanadas.”

  “This all looks wonderful.” Summer lunged for an egg. “But it seems like, well, a ton of work for a random Thursday night?”

  “I like to cook.” To cook and fuss over people and generally be the mom to everyone until she had her own kids to nurture. Even if it was just an apartment, Madison was determined to turn it into a warm and welcoming home where friends could pop in day and night and find a sympathetic ear. Although she hadn’t mentioned yet to Annabeth the day and night part of her fantasy.

  “Me too,” said Chloe. “Which is why I know just how much effort you put into doing all of this after racing home. We’re supposed to be here for you.”

  Madison cocked her head. “How’s that?” Annabeth had just mentioned she’d invited friends over. And to her credit, had offered to get Chinese takeout for them all, but Madison didn’t want to miss the chance to give back even a little something to Annabeth for letting her move in. There’d been no mention of company for Madison’s sake. She had no idea what to make of it.

  “Oh.” Chloe looked back and forth between Summer and Annabeth. Pulled her pink hood up and yanked the ties until her face almost disappeared. “Were we not supposed to say anything?”

  “Not so much.” Annabeth crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “Too late now, though, to be subtle about it.”

  Mystified, Madison asked, “About what?”

  “About the fact that you’ve been obnoxiously cleaning this place for four days. Scrubbing grout until midnight. Baking cookies for me to ‘take to work.’ Madison, I work at a restaurant, for crying out loud. You’ve done everything possible to avoid pouting and whining. But I know that you and Knox had a fight. So let it out. Tears? Ranting? We’re here for you.”

  Tears did well up, but not over Knox. Madison threw herself, arms outstretched, across the three women on the lime green sofa. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

  “I think we’re getting the picture,” came Summer’s muffled voice.

  “Definitely getting more emotion than air,” said Annabeth.

  “Sorry.” Madison backed all the way off to the rocking chair with the tangerine throw pillows. “Thank you for coming over. Seriously. You all just met me, and you’ve gone out of your way to be nice to me.”

  Chloe pushed back her hoodie. “I didn’t know Annabeth before a few months ago. We’ll save the pathetic story of my formerly very small life for another time. Suffice it to say I didn’t have many friends. Annabeth’s been great to me, so if she says you’re one of us, then you are. It’s that simple.”

  Madison had always believed that if she wanted something, came up with a solid plan, and worked her ass off, she’d get it. Determination counted for as much as enthusiasm and execution. But she’d never imagined that the plan for her new life in D.C. would come together so quickly and easily. She swiped her pinkies beneath her eyes to catch any tear trails. “I came here looking for family. I didn’t realize I’d find one before my brother even answered his email.”

  “What brother?” asked Chloe.

  Summer’s eyes bugged out. “God, is Knox your secret brother? Are we living in a telenovela right now?”

  The laughter at that thought chased away the last of the happy tears. “No. I can state categorically that we are not related. But you’re half right.” Sharing this information wasn’t part of Madison’s plan. Not before she’d at least made contact with him. But how was it possible to jinx something that was a fact? Spill now or later, the blood ties wouldn’t change. “I have a secret brother. He’s one of the reasons I came to D.C.”

  Annabeth stood. “Did you make margaritas?”

  “No. Just iced tea.”

  “This conversation demands margaritas.” She hustled into the kitchen. Cabinets banged as she pulled out tequila, mixer, glasses, and a blender. “Keep going. But come in here so I don’t miss anything.”

  Every time she told the story, it was good practice for the first big conversation with her brother. Madison slid onto the stool by the granite-topped island. “All I knew my whole life was that my dad bailed a few months after I was born. No contact, no child support. It was how my mom wanted it. And if he didn’t want to know me, then I sure didn’t intend to chase after him. But a few months ago, he reached out to Mom. He was sick. Needed transfusions and maybe more.”

  “I wouldn’t call that reaching out to you. Sounds more like….he came looking for your DNA compatible bits and pieces?”

  “Yes.” It was a humbling thought. One that had shocked Madison to her core. “Mom didn’t tell me for a week. She wrestled with it, long and hard, but decided she couldn’t take his life in her hands. So then the whole story came out.”

  Annabeth whacked a lime in half so hard that it bounced into the sink. “This man abandoned you, and twenty—”

  “Twenty-four.”

  “Twenty-four years later, after zero attempts to be in your life, he shows up with his hand out?”

  More or less. “He is scared. Panicking. Desperate. I can blame him for abandoning us, but I don’t blame him for asking for help. It turned out to be a moot point. By the time Mom told me, things had turned around. I never even talked to him. But all this also revealed that I have a brother. A half brother. One that I’m sure doesn’t know about me any more than I knew about him. A man that will be an automatic and lifelong connection for me. So I came here to meet him.”

  They all gaped
at her. “Well?” Chloe finally asked. “What happened when you met him?”

  “Nothing. I mean, it hasn’t happened yet.”

  Annabeth wrinkled her nose. “Did you get cold feet?”

  “Never. But I didn’t want him to tell me it was stupid to move all the way across the country”—like her thesis advisor and her mom and her seatmate on the plane—“to be with a total stranger who might not give me the time of day.”

  The blender whirred noisily into action. While it did, Madison moved the plates of appetizers to the island. Annabeth poured the frothy mixture into tumblers. “I don’t want to be a rain-on-your-parade kind of person—”

  Summer cut her off with an outstretched, judgy finger wag. “You are totally that kind of person. Way too practical and not nearly enough go-with-the-moment.”

  “You go with enough moments for all of us combined, Spontaneous Girl.”

  Chloe took a quiet slurp from her glass. “That thought did occur to you, though? That maybe you could’ve just picked up the phone and called him? Not risked everything?”

  She had a master’s degree. Madison could follow a logical thought progression. Not to mention that given the very hand-to-mouth, nomadic existence she led as a child, she’d never fly off without a plan and a backup plan.

  “I wanted to get out of Alaska.”

  “Done!” Summer made a giant check mark in the air with her arm.

  “I wanted to move to a major metropolis to find the man of my dreams.” Finding as strong a candidate as Knox on day one had put her way ahead of schedule with that part of the plan. Time that was being wasted now by Knox’s stubbornness.

  After a beat, Chloe murmured quietly, “In progress.”

  “I nailed down an amazing job.”

  “Done!” Another check in the air from Summer.

  Madison lifted her glass. “D.C. is going to be a wonderful place for me to spend the rest of my life. Having a brother here is just another piece of the puzzle. And when we meet, I’m sure that brother/sister bond will kick in immediately.”