Journal of a Lifetime (Journals of Love)

by Wolfe, Lisa M.

“Hey Joann. It’s Don,” he whispered. “I’m sure you’ve noticed that Steve has quite an interest in our guest, Lindsey. Do you want to get rid of her as much as I do?”

  “What did you have in mind?” Joann’s voice came back over the speaker. With Lindsey out of the picture, she hoped Steve’s attention would return to her.

  “Pack up her room, check her out and meet me with her bags in the back lot. After I drop off the passengers, I’ll get her things and get her out of here.”

  The return trip took just over two hours and when Lindsey woke, her fear and anger resurfaced when she realized it was only her and Don on the bus. He was still driving, but she was the only passenger.

  “Where is everyone?” she hollered up to Don.

  “At the resort,” he calmly replied.

  “Where are we going?” She tried to stand up, but he was driving too fast so she stumbled back into the seat. “What are you doing?” she questioned in exasperation. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”

  “Do I think this is a good idea? Do I think it’s a good idea for you to take Steve away from me?” His voice got louder with each question. “Do I think it’s a good idea for you to put his job and mine in jeopardy by beginning a relationship with him? Do I think it’s a good idea for another generation of your family to destroy mine? No. No. No! None of this is a good idea, and if it weren’t for you, none of this would be happening!” He pounded his fist on the steering wheel.

  Lindsey thought he was losing his mind. How could he be so threatened by her? She didn’t understand his devotion to Steve. She thought he would be happy for him.

  “Do you know how many plans Steve and I have?” His voice was echoing back toward her through the empty bus. “We’ve been saving to take over the business. We’ve talked about renovating old houses and turning them for a profit. Your presence is going to mess everything up.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Just like your grandmother’s did,” he muttered to himself.

  She realized that trying to reason with him would be out of the question. She prayed for God to intervene, and to keep her alive. She clutched the cross at her neck. She kept quiet in an effort to not upset Don any further. Even though it was dark, she could tell they were headed into the city. That didn’t worry her as much as the scenarios she created in her mind of him taking her to the back woods somewhere.

  Don pulled the bus into the airport. Before he took her to the terminal though, he parked and reached for the nine millimeter gun that he kept underneath his seat. Having a weapon was part of the tour guides’ safety. The men had heard many stories of guides getting robbed, and the company wasn’t taking any more chances.

  Lindsey watched him coming down the aisle with the gun pointed at her. Her heart pounded in her ears, but she tried to keep her voice steady. “Is that really necessary?”

  He sat down next to her. “That depends. Are you going to cooperate and do as I ask of you?”

  Lindsey stared him in the eyes. Who does he think he is trying to threaten me?

  “Look. This is what’s going to happen. You’re going to take your bags, board the plane for Detroit and never look back.” He paused. “I think Steve forgot to mention to you that he and my sister have a history.” He watched the look of apprehension cross her face.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Oh it’s the truth. He finds a young, single woman on most of our tours and acts like they’re the only one he’s ever found. It makes me sick, and that’s saying a lot considering my lifestyle.”

  Lindsey swallowed the tears that were forcing their way to the surface.

  “Did you think you were the only one, sweetheart?” He placed his hand on her knee. “I warned you not to get too close. My sister is planning their wedding as we speak. They’ve been together for five years and she’s been extremely patient with him. Didn’t you ever wonder why he didn’t try anything more than a simple kiss or holding your hand?”

  Lindsey had thought Steve was being a gentleman, but now her doubts were surfacing.

  “I can see that thought did cross your mind. Julie told him that if she ever caught him with a woman again, she would make him pay. She’s not one to mess with and he knows it. Julie’s a tough woman with a lot of contacts in the city and beyond. His life would’ve been reduced to nothing if he cheated on her.”

  Lindsey’s head was spinning. Surely it couldn’t be true. Steve was a good man, and Don was simply trying to get rid of her.

  But some of what Don said made sense to her. Steve hadn’t tried anything physical and he had only taken her out away from the tour once, and that night was unplanned.

  Could Don be telling me the truth?

  He could see he was getting to her. He changed his demeanor, and held the gun more relaxed in his grip. “I warned you Lindsey. At the very beginning I tried to appeal to your good manners and upbringing by telling you Steve could get fired, but you didn’t listen. I did my best to come between the two of you so it wouldn’t progress any further for you to get hurt, but you thought I was being a pest.”

  “Yes, I did,” she whispered.

  He continued to badger her. “Steve and I have plans, as brothers-in-law, and my sister is deeply in love with him. So, I’m begging you … ” His voice softened ever so slightly, and she found herself believing the sincerity in it. “ … just leave and don’t look back. Don’t try to contact him and when he calls, because you know he will, just remember Julie is here with him. He’ll want to keep up the façade of a long distance relationship because that way he doesn’t have to be honest with you.”

  “Couldn’t I just ask him about this?”

  “You know he’d just lie to you, as he has all along. Then where would you be? Your heart would still be broken and your pride would be bruised too.”

  Lindsey finally gave in. She didn’t know for sure if he was telling the truth, but what he said made sense to her. Steve hadn’t crossed a line that he couldn’t retreat from. He told her he wanted to visit her, but that could’ve been a lie too.

  She fiddled with the new silver ring she bought and pushed it off her finger and onto the seat. Her intent had been to give it to Steve, but now she didn’t know what to believe.

  She did know that she had to get away from Don.

  She nodded her head. “Ok … I’ll go,” she agreed, if only to get off the bus.

  “I purchased a ticket for you and it’s waiting at the counter. The flight leaves in forty minutes, so you’d better hurry.”

  Lindsey grabbed her bags and left the bus without a look back. Her journey was officially over.

  She fiddled with the calling card in her purse John had given her on the first day of her trip, and walked over to the row of payphones inside the airport. She dialed Steve’s number, but the phone went straight to his voice mail. She shook her head and caught herself from crying. I really just want to go home.

  Once the flight was on its way, Lindsey looked out into the darkening sky and felt her hands form into fists. The tears wouldn’t fall from her eyes. She knew her ability to trust was slim, but now she never wanted to trust anyone again.

  She closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. She placed her hands over her eyes and shook her head at what an idiot she’d been to think a man like Steve was available. She had so wanted to believe in him, in true love, that she didn’t use the caution she normally would have.

  The only consolation she could find in the whole situation was in knowing that she had lived. For the first time in months she had felt alive. She hadn’t felt the impending doom and danger that she normally carried over her like a black cloud. Steve had awakened her heart and soul, and she hoped that in the future she would be able to take that away from this experience.

  She looked out the window and banged her fists onto her legs. “Shoot!” she whispered fiercely. Her right hand reached for the cross. How could he fool me like that?

  The layover in Chicago was an hour. She couldn’t bring herself to cal
l her mother, and even though it was close to midnight, she decided to call Marie from a payphone instead. She used the calling card again and anxiously waited for Marie to pick up.

  “Hello?” She heard the caution in Marie’s voice, and was thankful her friend had decided to answer a call this late at night.

  “Marie? It’s me. I’m on my way home and just needed to talk.”

  “What’s going on, Lin? I didn’t think you were coming home until tomorrow.”

  “I know, but something happened and I’m in Chicago waiting for my connecting flight.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Am I? “Yeah. It’s just been an emotional couple of days.” The tears that had welled up in her eyes finally began to fall.

  Marie heard her sniffles. “Lindsey, what is going on?”

  It took Lindsey a minute to get her breathing under control, and her chest suddenly hurt as she admitted the truth aloud. “I fell in love, Marie. I thought he was the man I’d been waiting for … but it turns out he is engaged to someone else. His best friend told me and then I left.”

  Marie was silent. “You didn’t find out for yourself?”

  “Everything his friend told me sounded true. My heart was broken enough, I didn’t need it to break face-to-face with him. But, I’m so disappointed, Marie … ” She choked, and took a deep breath to calm herself. “I don’t know what to do now.”

  “I don’t ever remember you making a wrong decision. You always have a way of finding the right path even through the storm. You know that God is in control. You just have to go where he leads.” Marie sounded unusually confident. “Remember Proverbs 3:6, ‘In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.’”

  Lindsey forcibly exhaled. “I know. It’s just Steve seemed to be the one. I honestly could see my life there with him.”

  “Maybe you should talk with him then and make sure that his friend is telling the truth.”

  “I don’t really know what the point of that would be, though. Either he’ll lie to me, and I’ll be left making choices based on that lie, or he’ll tell me the truth and I’d be so embarrassed.”

  “Even if it is true, maybe he really did feel strongly about you?”

  She knew Marie was searching for anything to give her hope. “I’d like to believe that, but I would never want to come in between someone’s relationship. I’d feel horrible if he left his fiancée for me.”

  “But you didn’t know. You didn’t purposely try to steal him from her. You didn’t even know there was a ‘her.’”

  “I know. It’s just so messed up right now.” Lindsey cradled the necklace. “At this point, I don’t know if I can trust him, and I’d rather walk away with my pride, and what’s left of my heart, intact.”

  “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?”

  “I’ll give you a call tomorrow in the afternoon. They’re calling for my flight now, so I have to go. But, thank you for talking with me.” Lindsey paused. “I didn’t even get a chance to ask how you were doing?”

  “Really good, actually. I’ll tell you all about it when you get here.”

  Lindsey realized after the fact that Marie sounded happier than she’d been in weeks.

  The flight from Chicago to Detroit was quick but bumpy. A storm was rolling across the lake, and Lindsey watched the lightning from the window of the plane.

  The flight was small and most rows had only one or two people in their seats. She had three seats to herself, but she didn’t mind. The last thing she wanted right now was to make small talk with a stranger.

  She hadn’t really had time to process the fact that her journey was over now. She pulled out Nana’s journal to look for any other clues or insights into Adele’s trip. After her experience this week, she viewed the journal from a different viewpoint. She could see all of the excitement in her words and realized that as Nana was falling in love, the entries became shorter. It was as if all of her free time had been taken up with Steve senior.

  Sadness overwhelmed Lindsey once again. For her Nana to have found a great love, and for the timing to be so wrong, was heartbreaking to Lindsey. She attempted to prevent the walls around her heart from reforming, but it was a futile attempt.

  The plane gently settled onto the runway in Detroit. Lindsey should have been relieved to be returning home, but emotionally and physically she felt exhausted.

  Her cab ride back to the house was quiet and she was greeted by the sound of her alarm beeping. That meant that sometime during the week, she had lost power. She did a quick check of her freezer to see how bad the melting had been and was relieved to see the ice cream was still in its containers.

  She took out a small carton of Chunky Monkey and grabbed a spoon from the drawer. She didn’t turn on any lights, just sat at the kitchen table in the darkness and tried to comfort herself with the chocolate delight. It left her feeling somewhat better, at least enough that she’d be able to get some sleep.

  She left her suitcases by the door, something she normally wouldn’t do since her mother’s germ phobia usually had her pouring the entire suitcase contents directly into the washing machine. It’ll have to wait, she thought and slowly made her way up the stairs to the bathroom.

  She took a long, hot shower in an attempt to erase everything that had occurred. She scrubbed her body until it was red. Her mother would have been proud of the attempt to get rid of the germs, but Lindsey was still left with the raw emotions clinging to her heart.

  When she finished the shower, she put on her favorite pair of pink silk pajamas and climbed into bed, and spent the next fifteen minutes conversing with God. She didn’t expect answers for the many questions she had for Him tonight, but she knew that she needed them, desperately.

  Twenty

  STEVE CHECKED HIS cell phone every ten minutes until midnight. Don had not returned home and he still hadn’t heard from Lindsey. He waited another ten minutes, and then headed out to the resort. To his disappointment, Joann was working the front desk. At this moment, though he didn’t care. “Hey Joann. Do you know if all the passengers got back on time?”

  “Do you mean Lindsey?” she spat out the words.

  “Ok, yes.” He didn’t want to waste time arguing with her. “Did Lindsey return with the group?”

  “I assume. I wasn’t here when they got back, but no one said anything different.”

  “I’m just going to run up and knock on her door. Thanks,” he finished quickly and walked away.

  Joann shook her head and returned to her work on the computer.

  Steve ran up the stairs two at a time. He gently knocked on Lindsey’s door. He tried again a little harder, but when he didn’t hear anything, he gave up. He thought that she must’ve been worn out from the day and had fallen asleep early.

  He checked his phone again to see if she had called. Disappointed, he returned home and set his alarm for six o’clock so he could be up and get to the resort before she had to leave for her flight.

  Unfortunately, Steve was greeted by silence once again when he knocked on Lindsey’s door the next morning. It was seven o’clock, and he knew she had requested a nine o’clock shuttle to the airport. He knocked a few more times and then went down to the front desk.

  “Hey Ed. Can you help me with something?” he asked the desk clerk.

  “What do ya need, Steve?”

  “Has Lindsey Waters checked out yet?”

  “Let me check.”

  Steve’s anxiety increased with each passing second.

  “No. Not yet.”

  “I think we need to check on her. She was supposed to call me last night and didn’t. She’s not answering her door this morning either.”

  “That doesn’t mean something’s happened to her though.”

  Steve didn’t know how to convince him. “I know, but please Ed. Help me out by just checking into it?” he begged.

  Ed sighed. “I could get into serious trouble if she’s up there and just not w
anting to talk with you.”

  Steve hadn’t even considered that. He was confident that she’d wanted the same things he did.

  “It’ll just take a second,” he pleaded again.

  “Ok … but you didn’t get this from me,” Ed said and passed him the key.

  Steve didn’t waste any time getting up to her room. When he entered, the sight wasn’t what he expected. Her bed had not been slept in and her luggage and toiletries were gone. No one had been here last night. He left quickly and tried not to disturb anything in case the police needed to examine the room. As soon as he closed the door, he called the police on his cell phone and explained what had happened. He didn’t know what else to say except that Lindsey was missing and she hadn’t checked out. He was sure that she wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye, or at least given him a phone call.

  Don hadn’t returned home last night either and his attempts to reach him by cell phone had been unsuccessful. In desperation, he tried to call him again and this time was surprised when Don answered.

  “Where have you been?” Steve asked him.

  “I’m sorry. I got a little distracted last night.”

  “What happened?”

  “Well, after the tour yesterday, Lindsey and I got a little cozy,” he snickered. “She said she was tired of waiting for you to make a move and on her last night, she wanted to feel like a woman.”

  Don heard Steve’s sharp intake of breath.

  “What do you mean?” Steve asked.

  “You know what I mean, partner. Tie on the doorknob, don’t come a-knocking, feel like a woman.”

  Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was finding it hard to breathe. “Well, where is she now?” He wanted to hear it from her if this were the truth.

  “I dropped her off at the airport late last night. She thanked me for the good time and was on her way. Hope you don’t mind, buddy?”

  “Mind?” Steve shouted into the phone. “How could you? You of all people knew what she meant to me!”

  He was still bewildered that Lindsey would have opened herself to Don like that. It didn’t make any sense. But if it weren’t true, he thought, Lindsey would have called him by now. Why hadn’t she called? Was she even a Christian?