I looked her right in the eye. She deserved that. “Okay. Here’s the thing. The accident got me thinking about my feelings for Hunter. I’ve realized that they run deeper than I ever admitted to myself. I don’t know…it’s like the smack on the head knocked things into focus for me, somehow. I can see everything clearly now, maybe for the first time, I think.
“I wanted to talk to you, though, before I talked to him about it, even. And to Avery. I wanted you to know, directly from me to you, that I was being honest when I told you that nothing was going on with me and Hunter. Nothing was. Not in reality, and not in my head. I wasn’t lying. Or, if I was, I was lying as much to myself as to you.”
“Well, honey, aren’t you a class act.” Acacia shook her head. “Avery and I already knew that. It’s sweet that you wanted to talk to us in person, but truth be told, we had kind of figured this was how it was gonna go after Hunter’s big caveman performance down at the docks.”
“Really? I was a little out of it, there. I don’t remember the specifics. I just remember the doctor asking a lot of questions, and then we were headed back to the hotel.”
“Well, you got most of it. The part that you missed was Hunter’s Oscar-worthy performance as your bodyguard. And I do mean the sexy young-version-of-Kevin-Costner type. Besides the heroic dive into the ocean, the frantic search that had him bobbing up and down in the waves, then there was the fan-myself CPR—basically the hotter-than-hades rescue and resuscitation. Besides all that, the way he wouldn’t let anyone touch you, or try to take care of you. Girl, you would’ve thought that Avery and I wanted to throw you back into the ocean, going by his reaction to the idea of you coming back to our place! He was adamant about taking care of you himself.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Hunter.”
“Well, between that and the way that you looked very comfortable and relieved to have Hunter taking care of you? Let’s just say Avery and I saw the writing on the wall. To tell you the truth, darlin’, I’d have to say that, even before the accident, the two of you were doing a much better job of hiding your feelings from yourself than from the outside world.”
“Was it that obvious? Really?”
Acacia rolled her eyes. “Does a bear do its business in the woods?”
“I’d assume so?”
“The answer is yes. And that is also the answer to the burning question of whether or not what’s been in your heart has been written all over your face. That’s a big, fat, resounding ‘yes’ on all counts.”
“Wow. Okay. So…you guys aren’t upset, then?”
“Oh, it’s a little disappointing, sure. But let’s be real. These were never going to be more than spring break flings, anyway. Y’all are goin’ home. So are we. Distance is, shall we say, a factor. So, no. What kind of true romantic could I consider myself if I begrudged you and Hunter your true love over that? Or what kind of friend?”
“And what about Avery?”
“Oh, he’s even more roll-with-the-punches than I am, by nature. Trust me, he’s fine. But you don’t have to take my word for it. As we’re leaving tonight, I’ll ask Hunter to walk me out. That way, you can have a few minutes with Avery to give him the speech that, if this conversation was any indication of, you’ve certainly been practicing in your head. But you can skip the part where you torture yourself with nerves beforehand. Trust me, he’s a big boy, and he’s prepared. He can take it.”
“Thanks, Acacia. Really, this means a lot. And if there’s ever anything I can do for you, obviously, don’t hesitate.”
She grinned. “Well, since we’re all absolutely going to be keeping in touch—no question—I just may take you up on that one day.”
Chapter 30
Hunter
I clicked the remote, causing the TV screen to immediately blacken. “Okay, time to hit the hay. We’ve got the flight tomorrow, and you need to be well rested.”
“Well¸ I have news for you, Commander,” Sandy teased. “The forty-eight hour observation period that the doctor prescribed was up a couple of hours ago. So, basically, you’re not in charge of my sleep schedule anymore.”
I raised my eyebrow at her. “Is that right?”
“100 percent.”
“Well, how about this? Let’s go to sleep now because I’m tired. How does that strike you?”
“Like bullshit. But, whatever, I guess I can get on board.”
“Good.”
“But…um…”
“What?”
“There’s something I want to talk to you about first. It’s kind of important.”
My shoulders tightened and I felt my stomach drop like the time Sandy forced me to go on the Big Dipper. Although the girl staring at me nervously was prone to dramatics, the tone in her voice told me that’s not what this was. This was serious. Really serious. Trying to sound as casual as possible, I nodded. “Sure. What’s up? The floor’s yours.”
She smirked a little, wryly. “See? That’s what you say now. But the truth is, once I get going, things are going to pop into your head and you’re just gonna blurt them out. You’re a born interjector, Hunter. It’s true. And most of the time, I don’t even mind. It’s our pattern. Our witty repartee. But not this time. This time, I just need to spit out what I have to say with no interruptions. Will you let me do that?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
I grinned, a little cocky. “Didn’t I just prove it?”
She let out a short laugh. “Okay. Yeah. Fair enough.”
It was a strange thing seeing Sandy so off balance. She was usually so self-assured. This was a whole different Sandy. Her voice was shaking a little, and so were her hands. I didn’t know what she had to say to me, but obviously it was sending nervous energy through her like small jolts of electricity.
“So, here’s the thing,” she started, her words coming out in a rush, “when you up and left me, it hurt me really badly. But that was nothing compared to the absolute torture of when you cut me out of your life entirely during the days and weeks after.”
Guilt hit me like a punch in the gut. I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. “Jesus, Sandy. I’m so sorry. If you only knew how sorry…”
“Oh, for the love of monkeys. Did we not just have the interjector conversation? Shut up until I’m done!”
“Yeah, you’re right. Got it.” I pantomimed locking my mouth with the turn of an imaginary key, and then throwing that imaginary key over my shoulder.
“Anyway. The point I was leading up to, before I was rudely interrupted, is that I blamed you for that for a really long time. I was so angry. I used it as fuel for my worldview that everyone will end up abandoning me sooner or later. Every time I thought about it, every new stab of pain that I felt, I molded into another brick in the wall that I was building around my heart.
“I also used it to strengthen my idea of the kind of life that I wanted to lead. I’d always known, or thought I did anyway, what I wanted and needed out of life; a handsome, worldly stranger who would swoop me away to a glamorous existence far away from Arcata. Even before you left, it was pretty well etched into my mind. The pain I felt at your absence just served to set it in concrete.”
Fuck. It’d never been harder for me to keep my mouth shut than it was at that moment. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, so many ways that I wanted to swear that I could do better, that I could be better. But if there was one thing that she needed to see from me now, it was that I could keep my word once I’d given it. So I sat there, silent and feeling like I was about to fucking explode, as she finished her speech.
“Anyway, this week has shown me some things. About you, and about us. But most importantly about myself. I saw that you running off wasn’t about you, not entirely. I finally recognized my part in it. I saw how I pushed you away. And not just that night at the pond, either. I saw how the whole ‘mysterious stranger’ fantasy I’ve always had, was another way of keeping you at a distance. Of keeping what I felt for yo
u in the background. To keep it from becoming too real.”
She stopped and looked at her lap, taking a deep breath. When she returned her gaze to mine, I saw that there were teardrops glittering in her aqua blue eyes. After taking in a shaky breath, she continued, “Because, Hunter, what I couldn’t face was that what I felt for you—what I feel for you—is real. It’s the realest, most solid, thing in my life. You’re who I want, Hunter. Who I need. That’s always been true, I just couldn’t see it. But I see it now. It’s clear as day. I love you.”
Her words hung in the air between us. They were immeasurably precious. Just about the most beautiful words I’d ever heard, in fact. I savored them in the silence. If neither one of us ever spoke again, I thought, those wouldn’t be bad last words to end on.
Finally, she brought her hands up to her face and growled in frustration. Then she balled them into fists and moved them down to her lap. “Well? Don’t you have anything to say to that? Anything at all?”
I let a small smirk grow slowly on my lips. “I thought I was forbidden from interrupting. I thought I was an interjector by nature and that I was supposed to be controlling my baser instincts.”
“Seriously? Now is when you wanna bust out the smartass?”
My bravado morphed into sincerity as I stared into the baby blues of the only woman I’d ever loved. “Sandy. I love you. You have to know how much I love you.”
Looking down at the hands that she’d been wringing in her lap she shrugged, looking uncharacteristically unsure.
I smiled. My sweet, Sandcastle. How could she ever doubt the depths of what I feel for her?
“You know, Sandy. You know how I feel about you, how I’ve felt about you for the past fifteen years. You know me, better than anyone. I can’t hide anything from you. Do you think I could really hide how much I love you? It’s written all over my face every time I look at you. It fills my voice every time I talk to you. It has to be, because it fills me up, every inch of me. So how could it not show?”
The tears that had been shimmering in her eyes fell prettily down her cheeks at those words. “Even after everything?” she whispered.
“Especially after everything. Do you really think that there’s anything you’ve done or said this week, or this last year, or ever that could affect the way I feel about you? Do you think that such a thing even exists? Because if you do, you’re crazy. I’ve loved you since the minute I laid eyes on you in first grade. I’ve loved you every day since.
“I’ve loved you when your mom was drinking. I’ve loved you when your lights got shut off. I’ve loved you through every shitty thing I’ve seen that you seem to think could make me feel differently. I loved you when we slept together on grad night, and I even loved you when you blew me off. Maybe even more than before because I realized how possible it was to lose you, and it scared the shit out of me.
“I loved you then, and I love you now, and if every single day that we’ve known each other so far is any indication of the pattern, then it’s safe to say that I’m going to love you a little bit more every day for the rest of our lives. You’re it for me. You’re the one. You’re my dream come true. I love you, San. Forever.”
She was full-blown crying at that point, but they seemed like happy tears, so I guessed that I’d gotten my point across. It seemed that there was nothing left to do but kiss her, which I did, long and hard, with my arms wrapped tightly around her and stopping for nothing except to pull back from time to time to tell her again how much I loved her.
Chapter 31
Sandy
The kiss that I shared with Hunter felt different than any that had come before it. It felt deeper, more real, more passionate. It was like our souls were flowing through our physical connection, intermingling and intertwining, until I couldn’t tell where I ended and he began, either physically or emotionally.
Every other time we’d given in to our desires to come together, it’d been desperate and tumultuous. It’d been focused on the physical, and that had been good. Very good, in fact. But this was so much more. This went beyond the physical, and included the spiritual. And it wasn’t just good. It was transcendent.
“I’ve never wanted you more than I do right now,” I whispered. “This feels so right. I love it. I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. God, you’re so beautiful. You’re so amazing. I feel like my whole life has been leading up to this moment. This night.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” I breathed in desperation.
My body was on fire. I was burning with passion and lust, sure, but it was so much more than that. I was also consumed with purpose and love. This felt like the beginning of something epic, and of course it was—it was the beginning of Hunter’s and my life together.
My hands moved, as if of their own accord, down to his waist and I smoothly ran them up his abdomen and chest, pushing his T-shirt along with them. I finished the job of taking off his shirt, then moved on to his shorts. My hunger grew as his clothes came off. His body had that effect on me. Even when I didn’t want it to. Instant lust. Just add Hunter.
The heat in my belly burned even more intensely as Hunter started undressing me, as well. With each item of clothing he peeled from my body, each inch of newly-exposed skin that he ran his fingers over, my need for him increased exponentially.
My breath was coming in short, shallow gasps at that point, and I was aching everywhere. Aching for his mouth, aching for his hands. Aching for him to bury himself inside of me.
When we’d gotten every single piece of clothing off of each other and thrown them across the room, I threw my arms around Hunter’s neck and began kissing him furiously. I couldn’t get enough. I drove my tongue deeper into his mouth, exploring every inch of it. His tongue matched me stroke for stroke. I loved the sensation of our hot, wet mouths pressed together, tongues entwined, driving our arousal up into the stratosphere.
My hands ran all over Hunter’s body. There was nothing between us now, no clothes to get in the way of our bodies. I loved the smooth, hard, hot feel of his skin under my fingers. I loved the way his muscles bunched and jumped at my touch. It felt like power.
I was drunk on his body, completely intoxicated with the feel of his skin against my skin. I never wanted to put on clothes again—which was saying a lot for a fashion girl like me. This was my favorite outfit, my birthday suit, and it was all I ever wanted to wear when Hunter and I were together.
“I want you,” I gasped, with an undertone of moaning low in my voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted you as much as I do right now. Touch me. Touch me everywhere. Please, Hunter. I need you.”
My intention in saying those words had not been to turn him on even further. I wasn’t trying to be sexy. It wasn’t calculated. It was just what was in my heart, and it came tumbling out of my mouth, in words that were jumbled and uncalculated.
But the effect that they had on Hunter was dramatic and immediate. He began kissing his way down my body, the hot wetness of his mouth demanding and insatiable. These weren’t gentle kisses that he was trailing down my neck and chest. These were hungry, desperate kisses that were meant to ravish me. Claim me. Own me. Mind, body, and soul.
I loved it. I loved it maybe more than anything I’d ever felt in my entire life. My whole being was burning with desire. My skin—every inch of it, from my scalp to the soles of my feet and everywhere in between—felt as if it’d been lit on fire, and the only thing that would put out the flame was Hunter’s touch.
His hands, his mouth, his body—they were the cure for everything that ailed me.
When Hunter’s mouth got to my breasts, he reached his hands up and cupped them at the same time as his lips lowered onto my nipples. He devoured my aching, hard nipples with both his mouth and his hands, using them in conjunction with one another so that no part of my tender flesh was left uncovered for even an instant.
I felt his tongue flicking one hard, sensitive nipple at the same time as I felt the other be
ing rolled between his thumb and forefinger. The dual sensations shot from the tips of my breasts, straight down my belly, and right to my tight core. It caused my hips to buck, thrusting upward uncontrollably.
Already, my pussy was aching for Hunter, even more than the rest of my body was. I needed him to touch me there, to rub my clit, to drive himself inside me and fill me up. It was all I wanted in that moment. I was single-minded in my hunger and lust.
But that was going to have to wait.
There was something else that needed to be done first. Something I’d been thinking about, and fantasizing about, for the last two days.
I leaned in close to Hunter’s ear and whispered, “There’s something I haven’t gotten to do yet, and I’m definitely going to do it this time around. In fact, I was thinking I’d just start with it, do it right now, so that way it definitely happens.”
“What?” he moaned.
“I want to suck your cock.”
All of the air left his lungs in a rush. I closed my eyes. I felt lightheaded with pleasure at the sensation that saying those words alone sent rushing through me.
“Ahhh…fuuuuck…” he moaned, tipping his head back.
“Well, that’ll be for later,” I quipped with a grin, scooting down the bed and positioning my mouth over his cock. “As for now, it’s ahhhh…bloooow joooob…”
He looked at me and smiled. The love in his eyes filled me with warmth. “I stand corrected.”
I wrapped my hand seductively around his thick, heavy shaft and started to stroke it while we looked into each other’s eyes. I didn’t think it was physically possible but he grew harder and larger beneath my hand with each stroke. I felt empowered, and feminine, and so proud to be able to give him that much pleasure.
Moving in closer, I wrapped my lips around the smooth, broad head of his dick. Slowly, I sucked it into my wet mouth as I continued to pump my fist up and down his shaft. I swirled my tongue around and around it, stopping to cover the entire thing and suck every few times around.
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