Truly Yours Historical Collection December 2014

by Susan Page Davis, Paige Winship Dooly, Connie Stevens

  The man had outlaw roots, plain and simple, and in the end, when it mattered the most, those outlaw tendencies seemed to come to the forefront. Why else would he run off with his outlaw family and leave her to pick up the pieces? It didn’t matter how long or how well Uncle Edward had known the man. Hollan didn’t want any part of this.

  Soon after Jacob had left—after she’d recovered from her accident—she’d made the decision to never marry. With her visual difficulties, she’d feel like a burden in the eyes of whoever ended up with her. She’d lose her independence. Her mother had unraveled on that horrible night, and she could only imagine why. If her mother had been happy, why would she have jumped from the lighthouse?

  For her uncle to be desperate enough to marry her off to an outlaw, she was in a worse situation than she’d ever imagined. Marriage in any situation wasn’t a good idea, but this was oh-so-much worse.

  “How can you not see that this isn’t an option for me?” Her mother’s desperate attempt to escape from their life closed the door on that idea for Hollan years ago.

  “Your mother wasn’t of sound mind, Hollan. The accident wasn’t what you think. Your parents had a wonderful marriage.”

  “What changed that? If something could go so horribly wrong in their marriage, how am I to know the same thing won’t happen to me?” A balmy wind blew around her. She breathed in the comforting scent. “And I already come along with enough of my own challenges—challenges that would cause undue burden even in the strongest of marriages. Even in a marriage filled with love, which this one won’t have.”

  “The two of you loved each other before. I know you can find your way back to each other and love again. As for your mother’s accident, we do need to discuss it further, but now isn’t the time. Just know her decision that night had nothing to do with her love for you or your father.” Her uncle’s speech ended, and he stood silently beside her.

  Her father and Sylvia both wrote Hollan’s mother’s demise off to an unstable mind, but she couldn’t understand that. Why hadn’t her father been able to fix whatever was wrong? Why hadn’t the need to be around for Hollan been enough to keep her mother’s mind intact? What could be so awful that her mother thought the answer lay in plummeting from the deck that ran around the lighthouse? In any case, her family history didn’t bode well for marriage, especially when marriage to her came with the additional challenge of dealing with a sightless wife.

  Well, she amended, her heart jumping with a momentary lilt—a partially sightless wife. Her vision still improved daily, returning in bits and pieces. Even now she could see the outline of Sylvia’s slightly curved figure to her left and her uncle’s more barrel-shaped chest to her right. A bit of a distance away, the bright midmorning sun highlighted the tall figure of her husband-to-be.

  Hollan turned toward her caretaker. “Sylvia, you’ll stay on to help me, won’t you? I’ll make sure you’re well paid for your time. And Fletcher can take over the lighthouse. You know you’re both welcome here.”

  Fletcher was a good man and a hard worker. After dropping off her uncle and Jacob, he left with the supply boat to fulfill his normal workday, even after the long night of tending to the lighthouse.

  Sylvia moved forward to place a reassuring hand against Hollan’s cheek. “You know I can’t stay, dear. We’ve had this talk. I’m needed in town, and Fletcher’s work doesn’t allow him to be out here on the island. He can’t continue to work the lighthouse and run the boat. You’ll be fine with your uncle’s arrangement. You know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

  “But Sylvia, I—”

  Her caretaker dropped her voice to a whisper and leaned close as if Hollan hadn’t spoken. “And we all know how much that man over there once loved you. You’ll find your way back to him again.” She planted a soft kiss on Hollan’s cheek and moved back toward the house.

  “But—Sylvia! Wait.”

  “I can’t, darling. I need to pack up and be ready to go when Fletcher returns.”

  “Argh!” Hollan stomped her foot.

  The action was rewarded with a deep chuckle from up the hill. Jacob. The heartbreaking outlaw. She ignored him and spun back around to her uncle.

  “An outlaw, Uncle Edward? Is that really what my future has come to? Am I such a burden that only he will take me?”

  “I don’t consider you to be a burden at all. As a matter of fact, your aunt Ettie and I would like nothing more than to have you pack up and return to the mainland to stay with us. We can forget this conversation ever happened, and you can start anew in our home. You do have a choice.”

  Hollan turned away so he’d not see her face crumple at the dismal choices set before her. She loved her uncle and aunt, but she loved her island, too. “Marriage to an outlaw or I leave the only home I’ve ever known to start over again in town. And what a choice it is.”

  “Don’t sound so despondent, dear one. You know I’d never do anything to hurt you. And Jacob isn’t an outlaw.”

  “The history of the Swan family made it all the way out here, Uncle. I know what his family did.”

  “Their history isn’t Jacob’s. You knew him as a boy and as a young man. He’s a good person. That hasn’t changed. He wasn’t with his brothers or father when they pillaged and set fire that night. Their actions have caused him enough pain, and I won’t have you joining in with the townsfolk and judging him unfairly. Jacob is a wonderful man of God. He wants nothing more than to live in peace, free from the demons that pursue him. He only seeks quiet and relaxation. The marriage will be in name only, for propriety’s sake. You both seem determined in your quest to avoid marriage. Perhaps this arrangement will protect you from the very institution you both abhor.”

  Hollan couldn’t help but laugh. “Marriage will protect us from marriage? That makes no sense.”

  “Nothing much makes sense lately, Hollan.” Her uncle sighed. “But if you’re both sure you don’t want to seek out love and settle down with someone else—someone else you care deeply for—then this arrangement is for the best. You’ll have the protection you require and, in exchange, someone to run the lighthouse.”

  “And what will Jacob get?”

  “The quiet life on the island will agree with Jacob and will salve the scars of his past. I have no doubt he’ll like it here. The two of you loved each other before. I know you’ll take care of each other, even if your love is gone. You’ll see the good in him. And in time the townspeople will see it, too.”

  Hollan started to ask what scars he carried but figured with his family history it was obvious. When Jacob went to serve in the war, his brothers and father had evaded any type of service. They’d been suspected of pillaging and raiding local towns instead.

  “If you don’t want to agree to this arrangement, you’ll need to head up to the house and pack your things. We’ll leave late afternoon when Fletcher returns for his mother.”

  “I marry Jacob, or I leave the island.” The whispered words blew away on the breeze. “I can’t leave my island. It’s all Samson and I have left. It’s our home.”

  “Then you agree to the marriage?”

  She thought hard, but no better solution came to her. “Yes, Uncle Edward. Prepare the way for my wedding. I guess I’ll marry the outlaw.”

  “You’ll marry a gentleman. I’ll have you see it no other way.”

  “Perhaps you should reintroduce me to my groom.” She folded her arms at her chest and refused to turn around to see if Jacob stood nearby. “Is he still standing on the hill listening?”

  Her uncle chuckled. “No, he fled after your foot stomp. He’s down the beach a bit with Samson.”

  “With Samson? The traitor.”

  They fell into step together and headed in that direction. The sound of the surf rose in volume as they neared the shore. Hollan’s bare feet sank into the soft sand, and an impetuous thought made her smile. What would her new husband think of her perpetually shoeless state? Perhaps he’d never know. But with the loss
of her sight, she needed to use each and every sense she could. She loved to feel the textures of the ground around her. And she found the sensation of sand beneath her toes to be her favorite sensation of all. She wouldn’t have that pleasure in town. She’d made the right decision, even if it was scary and hard.

  She stopped momentarily to breathe in the always-present, reassuring scent of her surroundings. Marriage couldn’t be worse than losing the island. She’d come through this and be just fine on the other side. She was not her mother.

  Her uncle’s voice broke into her musings. “Samson seems content. He’s retrieving sticks thrown into the water by Jacob. Maybe the animal sees the merit of the situation better than you do.”

  “Samson doesn’t make up with anyone, Uncle Edward. You know that. All the changes of late must be muddling his little doggy brain.”

  “That dog has more brain than most men I know, your fiancé not included.”

  “My fiancé.” She groaned.

  “Your fiancé only for a short while.” Her uncle’s voice held a hint of laughter. “Before you have a chance to get used to the idea, your fiancé will be your spouse.”

  “Maybe I could have a bit more time to get used to the fiancé angle before we jump into marriage?” she asked hopefully.

  “Take all the time you need. After reintroductions, you’ll have the better part of the next hour to get used to the spouse part of the idea. You’ll get through this just fine.”

  Hollan stopped, and Samson ran to her side. She ran a clammy hand self-consciously through her wind-tossed hair. The hot sun beat down on her back. What must her husband-to-be think of her? Did he, too, see the ceremony as “something to get through”? Would he someday mourn his loss of choice in handpicking a bride in the future? He’d already turned his back on her once. Would he spend the rest of his life regretting her?

  She squared her shoulders and moved forward. She wouldn’t be pathetic. Her fiancé would meet the independent woman who was his future wife.

  Four

  “Jacob, Hollan thought it best that you meet again before you marry.”

  The introduction felt odd, but as Edward led the beautiful but reluctant woman closer, Jacob realized she might as well be a stranger to him. Hollan had matured and grown even more beautiful, something he hadn’t thought possible three short years earlier. She wore her auburn hair pulled up, but stray wisps blew around her face. She reached up to hold them tentatively away from her delicate features. He saw only a glimpse of her warm brown eyes before she looked away.

  Jacob wondered if she felt as awkward in the situation as he did. Outwardly she seemed completely calm, but judging by her earlier response, she, too, felt the tension. And how could she not? Her life had taken on a myriad of changes in a very short time.

  “Hollan.” Jacob stepped forward. “The years have been good to you. I’m pleased to see you again.” He winced. Perhaps those weren’t the best choice of words to say to someone who’d lost most everything they valued.

  She reached a dainty hand his way, and he took it briefly in his own. She looked toward him, though her eyes didn’t meet his. A slight smile tilted up the corners of her mouth as her chin dipped in a nod of acknowledgment. “I’m pleased to meet you again, too.” The forced smile stayed in place as she bit out each word.

  Jacob held back the laugh that threatened at her forced words. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize their future together, but she was anything but pleased. Her choices had been reduced to a life in town away from everything she knew and loved or a life married to—as far as she was concerned—a complete and total stranger who had already wreaked havoc in her life once before. That their marriage came with her uncle’s blessing didn’t really matter at this point—he was a stranger to her all the same.

  An unexpectedly protective urge slammed through him as he held her soft hand in his, even as he felt the strength in her own response. She squeezed his hand once and released him.

  “I’ll leave you two to get acquainted. I have several things to attend to before we do the ceremony.”

  Jacob didn’t miss the momentary panic that moved across Hollan’s face. She wasn’t as calm as she tried to let on. He’d do his best to put her at ease, but in reality he was just as nervous and shaken up.

  They stood quietly for a few moments as her uncle made his retreat. Jacob loved the man, owed him his life, and would do everything in his power to make things easier for his former fiancée.

  “Shall we walk?”

  “Walk?” Hollan stuttered over the word, glancing up the coast.

  “You know, one foot in front of the other as we move along the shore?” He figured the distraction of movement would be better than awkwardly standing there. “We should at least try to get acquainted as your uncle suggested. It’s been a long time. We have a lot to discuss.”

  “I suppose.”

  “If I may?” He reached for her hand and placed it against his bent arm. She stiffened, and he thought she might pull away, but then she relaxed and accepted his assistance. He felt the heat from her fingers through the rolled-up sleeves of his thin cotton shirt. The sensation was pleasantly familiar. He’d missed her touch. He suddenly realized this wouldn’t be nearly as easy as he’d imagined. The heart of stone he’d envisioned at his core was suddenly turning to mush.

  They began to walk, and he took care not to let the waves break against her long dark skirt. A few times he led her higher up the beach to avoid an especially aggressive wave.

  “What did you want to talk about?”

  “Guidelines.” Which, based on his response to her touch, they now needed worse than ever.

  Her brows drew together. Her hand tightened against his arm, and her steps faltered. “Guidelines? Such as?”

  “I know you aren’t exactly excited about this arrangement.”

  He hesitated when she laughed.

  “That’s an understatement.” Remorse immediately replaced the smile. “I’m sorry. It can’t be much easier for you. You’re making a great sacrifice and doing me a huge favor by allowing me to remain here, for reasons I can’t even imagine.”

  The way his emotions were tossing about—much like the faraway ship moved across the storm-tossed sea—it didn’t make marriage to her feel like such a sacrifice. He cleared his throat. “I’ll be fine. But I want you to have peace with the situation, at least as much peace as possible. I want to do what I can to make the adjustment easier for us both.”

  She stopped. “Why are you doing this? What’s in it for you? I want to hear your reasons from you.”

  “I think that answer is obvious. I know your uncle went over it with you. But to reiterate, we each have something the other needs.”

  “And what would that be?”

  He reached for her wrist as she pulled away. Her rapid pulse beat against his fingers. He prayed for the words that would help soothe her fears as he again tucked her hand firmly in place. They continued walking at a leisurely pace.

  “You aren’t the only one who’s had a rough time of it. You know I owe your uncle a great deal. I owe you, too. The night I left town, after what my family did, I couldn’t face you. I needed to get away.” He didn’t really want to hear the specific details of what his brothers had done, but he left her the opportunity to discuss that night if she needed to. Otherwise, the details would come out in time.

  “And yet you’ve returned.”

  “Yes.” He was surprised she didn’t lash out or want to discuss the details. But perhaps she’d never want to discuss it. He glanced down at the sand as they walked, and a delicate shell caught his attention. He bent to pick it up. Most of the shells on the beach had been broken into jagged pieces by the strong tides before they ever finished their tumble to shore. He started to throw his find into the ocean, but instead he carried it as they walked along, turning the smooth object over and over with his fingers. This shell, which looked so delicate, had to be strong to have made it through the rough waters
in one piece. It reminded him of the woman who walked beside him. “The trails didn’t hold the answers I’d hoped for.”

  “And you expect to find the answers out here?”

  “The answers will come in time. Here I’ll find quiet and relaxation. At least that’s what Edward tells me.” He grinned her way, even though she wouldn’t notice. The smile carried on his words. “I suppose that remains to be seen.”

  Judging by the effect the gently breaking waves about a dozen feet out were having on him, Uncle Edward was correct. He felt a peace here he hadn’t felt on the mainland. Or maybe it was the gentle nature of the woman walking beside him that charmed his heart. He hoped the feeling was mutual.

  “I won’t get in your way.”

  Not quite the response he’d envisioned and hoped for.

  “I don’t want you to avoid me. I don’t want to force any changes on you.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “Pardon?”

  “What are your expectations?”

  “I have no expectations. I haven’t had time to think of any.”

  “I guess that’s true. Where do you plan to sleep?”

  Again she had him grinning. “You don’t tiptoe around your thoughts, do you?” He hadn’t smiled this much in years.

  “I try not to. You know my father. He taught me that if a question is good enough to think about, it’s worthy of putting into words.”

  His father’s teachings had been far different. “I always liked your father. But to answer your question”—he turned back and glanced at the lighthouse—“your uncle said there’s a room at the base of the lighthouse that would serve well as my living quarters.”

  Her features relaxed as she released a soft sigh. He hadn’t noticed she’d been holding her breath while waiting for his answer.

  “Indeed. He’s right. That will work out nicely. The room is already set up with a bed. My father would often stay out there during difficult weather. Except for the night he disappeared.” Her voice tapered off. A scowl marred her features.