Truly Yours Historical Collection December 2014

by Susan Page Davis, Paige Winship Dooly, Connie Stevens

  He must have taken her setting the mending aside as a yes, because he clomped to the door and plucked her coat from the peg. “Here you go.” He held out the garment, waiting for her to put it on. Megan wasn’t sure if she wanted to go along with this, but as she looked at Jesse, she couldn’t see how she could say no. He’d been so kind and gallant today. How could she ruin that?

  The night was clear and cold. Millions of stars shone against the black sky, some twinkling like tiny fireflies in the heavens. Her breath whooshed out white on the air, even after passing through her scarf. The last remnants of snow clung in dirty patches to the places that received the most shade during the day. Soon the snow would be gone and spring would arrive. The hills would be covered in green and dotted with bright flowers. She loved that time of year.

  Jesse threaded her hand around the crook in his elbow and led the way to the barn. Tingles ran through Megan at the contact. Never before had he shown this desire to touch her. Why was he doing so now?

  The warm, damp smell of livestock and hay greeted them when Jesse opened the barn door. At one end a sow grunted at the intrusion of light from the lantern Jesse carried. The horses snorted and stamped. Jesse’s gelding moved to the front of his stall and gave a soft whicker of greeting to his master.

  “They all look okay.” Megan jarred the stillness with her words. She felt she had to say something.

  Jesse smiled down at her. “Then let’s go for a little walk. That is, if you can stand the cold.”

  “Sure.” Megan tried to keep the apprehension from her tone. The night air chased away any shadows of exhaustion from the long day. She’d always loved the nights here. No factory smoke tinted the sky. The quiet spoke to her as if God Himself would come down here and walk with her. She’d always loved the feeling, but had never shared it with someone else.

  The crunch of frozen ground told of their passing as they walked. Jesse didn’t say anything, but he brought his arm closer to his side, tugging her along, too. She thought about removing her hand from his grip, but knew she didn’t want to.

  “Have you ever had a beau?” Jesse’s question took her breath away. Had he heard rumors of what had happened? A tremor raced through her.

  “No, I haven’t.” Her voice shook. “We don’t get out much, and we live so far from town.” She walked faster, not sure what she wanted him to believe.

  Pulling her to a stop, Jesse turned to face her. He hadn’t let go of her hand, but now took both hands in his. “Megan, I have something I want to say to you.” He gazed up at the stars, his lips tight together as if he were trying to figure out how to phrase something.

  “On the way home today, I realized that we haven’t spent any time getting to know one another.” He squeezed her hand, and she stopped what she was about to say. “I want to learn about who you are. There are things you need to know about me, too. I know we didn’t plan to get married, but to me marriage is forever. If you’re to be my wife, I want to know all about you.”

  Fear blazed through Megan. Would he want to know about her shame?

  “Hey.” Jesse waited until she looked up. “I know something happened to you before you moved out here. You don’t need to tell me about it if you don’t want to. Whatever it was, I know that right now you’re a wonderful, caring person. I’ve seen the way you are with Seana, the way you held that baby today. You were so hurt by your parents’ and brother’s deaths, yet you’ve carried on in a remarkable way. I admire you, Megan.”

  She stood frozen, staring up at him. What was he saying?

  “Megan, I’ve come to care about you.” Jesse drew her even closer. His arms closed around her, and she wondered if he could feel her pulse pounding.

  “I like the way you look. You’re not skinny and wasted like some girls. You aren’t whiny or self-centered. I like the way you feel in my arms.” His voice trailed off. He bent his head and touched his lips to hers. Megan clung to him, wishing this moment could last forever.

  Eleven

  Quiet rang through the house. A few night birds called to one another outside, disturbing the late night peace. Seana’s soft breathing in the bed across the room gave the only whisper of sound inside. Megan touched a fingertip to her lips, marveling at the remembered feel of Jesse’s kiss. Conflicting feelings warred inside her. Would he, too, betray her and ridicule her? Hope flared up, fighting the negative emotions that threatened to drag her down. She’d felt hope before, but that hadn’t stopped what happened. At long last the heaviness in her limbs drew her down into an exhausted sleep.

  The voices began calling. Laughing voices. Young people having fun. Megan turned to see a door, cracked open, a shaft of light pouring out, inviting all who passed to enter.

  Her feet dragged at the ground as she drifted toward the door. The voices grew louder. Girlish giggles mingled with manly chuckles and laughter. The clink of glasses added a tinkling quality.

  As Megan approached, the strip of light widened. Megan could see through the opening. Instead of a room, a green lawn stretched out before her. The grass sparkled and waved in the sunlight. Huge trees made a rustling noise as the wind wove through their leaves. A pond glittered at the far end of the sloping lawn.

  Close to where Megan stood, a group of young people was seated at a long table. The girls wore party dresses, the boys, their good suits. A huge mound of food rested on a nearby table. The young people had well-laden plates before them, although the food looked untouched.

  Dread crept over Megan in a nauseating wave. She recognized them. Turning around, she groped for the door, wanting to escape before they noticed her. The door had disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place. She was trapped.

  “Did you see her?” Hiram spoke. Handsome, sought after, Hiram. The boy all the girls wanted to notice them. Somehow Megan faced them again. She wanted to move, but her body refused to respond.

  “Tell me about it.” Susan leaned toward Hiram, giving him a coquettish smile. “I want to hear the story again.”

  Hiram laughed, his head tipped back, his blond hair falling in waves from his perfect features. “How could she have thought I would be interested in her? Truly, by the time she has a child or two, she’ll be the size of a cow.” Hiram paused as his audience crowed in delight.

  “She was the easiest girl to dupe.”

  “You mean you’ve done this before?” One of the other boys leaned forward, listening with obvious interest.

  “Of course.” Hiram waved his hand in the air. “These poor young things need someone to give them attention. I saw her at every church function and dance, standing to one side looking like some chubby, forlorn puppy.” The group howled again.

  “I just wanted to give her a little excitement.” He leaned forward. His tone took on a hushed note. “I didn’t know she would respond so. . .um, enthusiastically.”

  The other boys grinned and prodded one another with their elbows. The girls blushed, hiding for a moment behind their fans.

  “How did you get through that crusty exterior?” the other boy asked. “When I tried to talk to her, she turned out to be as cold as a fish.”

  “It takes finesse.” Hiram smoothed his hair. “You have to show just the right amount of interest, yet leave some mystique that draws her into the net. I’ve mastered the technique.”

  “So what did you do?” The eager boy grinned in anticipation.

  “Well. . .” Hiram frowned and rubbed his chin as if deep in thought. “I became vulnerable.” He grinned at their puzzled expressions. “I pretended to be hurt. As she was leaving, I opened the gate for her. In the process I managed to—on purpose—get a splinter in my palm. Women can’t resist a wounded man.” He chuckled. “By the time she assisted me in removing the splinter, she agreed when I insisted on walking her home. One thing led to another from there.” He shrugged, as if the conquest had been nothing.

  “No.” Megan opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. “He’s telling you lies. This isn’t
what happened.” How many times had she tried to convince everyone that Hiram had lied? No one listened to her.

  “Did you. . .did she. . . ?” The boy couldn’t get his question out in his eagerness.

  “Of course.” Hiram polished his fingernails against his shirt. “You saw what she looked like when we caught up with all of you. How could you doubt what we’d been doing? She was still clinging to me. I could barely get away.”

  Horror encompassed Megan. Why did she have to hear these lies again? Tears streamed down her cheeks. Even her parents hadn’t been sure of her innocence in the face of the lies Hiram told. She’d tried to explain how she’d tripped and tumbled down a hillside. That’s how her dress got the mud on it and her hair so disheveled. She clung to Hiram’s arm because her ankle throbbed from the fall. Even the bruise that developed there didn’t convince anyone that she’d told the truth. Everyone said she was desperate for a young man’s attention and willing to do anything to get it. Megan had never known such shame.

  “So do I have a chance with her, too?” The young man rubbed his palms on his pant legs.

  “All of you have a chance.” Hiram’s eyes twinkled. “If you have no success, then you aren’t half the man I think you are. Let us know,” he called after him as the boy dashed away.

  “No.” Megan wept in uncontrollable sobs. She had to do something to stop this. She hadn’t before, and look at the results. She tried to push forward, to confront Hiram, but her body refused to move. Twisting and turning, she cried out again and again.

  “Meggie, Meggie, wake up.” Seana’s small hands gripped her shoulders, shaking her. Megan couldn’t seem to stop the sobs. Her pillow felt damp from the crying she’d been doing while dreaming.

  “What’s going on?” Jesse called from outside the door. “I’m coming in.”

  After the nightmare she’d just experienced, Jesse should have been threatening to Megan, but somehow a measure of peace descended with his arrival. Seana moved aside, and Jesse sat down, pulling her into his arms like he might comfort a young child. For a long time he stroked her back, whispering soothing sounds that she couldn’t even make into words.

  “Seana, I want you to go on back to bed. Your sister’s fine.” Jesse spoke only after Megan’s trembling eased. “I’m going to take Megan out and fix her some warm milk. You go on back to sleep.”

  Crawling back in bed, Seana was asleep almost before Jesse could tuck the covers around her. He turned back to Megan and scooped her up, covers and all, and carried her out into the kitchen. She waited in silence, watching as he built a small fire in the stove to warm some milk for her.

  The drink tasted delicious, warming her clear down to her toes. Her eyes opened in surprise at the touch of sugar he’d added. Her mother always added sweetener and cinnamon, but most people didn’t. Even without the spice, the hot tonic was perfect.

  “Thank you.” Drowsiness overtook her almost before she took her last sip. She felt Jesse’s strong arms lifting her from the chair as he carried her back to bed. The urge to talk to him, to tell him about the nightmare, plucked at her heart, but her tired body couldn’t seem to respond. The gentle touch of his kiss on her forehead was the last thing she felt as she drifted off.

  ❧

  For a long time, Jesse sat at Megan’s bedside, watching her sleep. He’d never felt such tenderness for another person. When he awoke from a sound slumber to hear sobbing, he couldn’t imagine what was wrong. Hearing Seana cry out for Megan made him move faster than he thought possible. The sight of her white face awash in tears haunted him. All he’d wanted to do was hold her and keep her safe from whatever followed after her.

  “God.” His words were barely audible in the quiet. “Please help me to be a good husband to Megan. Help her to trust me with whatever hurt she’s suffered. Give me wisdom, Lord. I know You brought me here for a reason. Let me help her.”

  ❧

  The cows were lowing their protest by the time Jesse got to the barn the next morning. “Sorry, girls.” He patted the closest one on the rump. “Last night was a rough one. I missed the rooster this morning.” He chuckled, wondering how anyone could rely on one of those feathered creatures that crowed whenever they felt like it, not just at the crack of dawn.

  The quiet swish of milk into the pail brought out Mama Kitty. Jesse shot a stream of milk in her direction, which she lapped right out of the air. Shadow watched from the side, but didn’t approach Jesse and the cow. When Mama Kitty began to clean her multicolored coat, Jesse lost interest and his thoughts turned to Megan. She’d looked so tired this morning. He wanted to tell her to go back to bed and get some rest, but he knew she wouldn’t listen.

  He set the milk pails near the door and began to fork hay into the feeders. The barn door creaked open. Megan stepped inside, pulling the door closed behind her. Jesse stopped, uncertain why she’d come out here. She usually fixed breakfast while he did the outside chores. She smiled, a rather strained one, but a smile nonetheless.

  “Don’t worry, I have Seana working on breakfast. I think she can fry a little bacon without burning it, and the biscuits are in the oven.” She took a couple of hesitant steps. “Can we talk for a few minutes?”

  Shoving the pitchfork into the pile of hay, Jesse gestured at a small bench. He tried to give her a smile that would put her at ease. “I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather be talking to.”

  Megan blushed and ducked her head. She perched on the edge of the bench as if she wanted a quick getaway. She took off her mittens, and her fingers kneaded her coat buttons. “Thank you for last night. The milk and all. . .” She cleared her throat and looked away for a moment. “You said you wanted to learn more about me.”

  He covered her fidgeting fingers with his hand. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Megan. But I want you to know I’m willing to listen if you do want to talk.”

  “I wanted to tell you last night, but I got so tired. The nightmare and all the old fears wore me out, I guess. Will you listen to the story now?”

  He nodded.

  “It isn’t pretty. I want you to know that if you want to leave after hearing what I have to say, I’ll understand.” Her voice caught. She closed her eyes for a moment.

  Leaning back against the stall behind them, Jesse slipped his arm around her shoulders. With a gentle tug, he leaned Megan back against his chest. This way she wouldn’t have to face him, and it might be easier for her to tell the story.

  In almost a monotone, Megan told him about the dream. She told him what happened, how no one believed or listened to her. Jesse felt her anguish and burned with anger at the young men who did this as a prank.

  “Just that easily, my reputation was ruined. Hiram’s lie cost me any hope of being treated decently. Even though I didn’t accompany any of the other boys involved, they reported that I had. Rumors flew all over town. The pastor from our church came calling.” Megan paused, lost in thought, her body strung as tight as the strings on a fiddle. “He looked like the Grim Reaper, and when he got done talking with my parents, they looked the same. It wasn’t long after that when Papa announced we were selling our house and moving to the Dakota Territory.”

  Jesse tightened his arm around her. Her story hadn’t turned him away. Instead, he wanted all the more to show her the love she deserved. She began to speak again, and he leaned forward to catch the soft words.

  “In the last two months, I’ve thought often how I could be the cause for their deaths. If I hadn’t been so blinded by that cad Hiram’s good looks and sweet words in the first place, I’d never have gone with him. Then those boys never would have lied, and my family would never have had to leave.”

  “Megan, don’t you do this.” Jesse put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Don’t you ever blame yourself for what happened to your family. None of you could have predicted that blizzard.”

  She nodded. “I know. I guess sometimes I just feel sorry for myself.” She shrugged. “T
hat’s not a very Christian way to act.”

  He brushed a piece of hay from her hair. “Maybe not, but it’s very human.” He stood and helped her to her feet. “I’d better finish these chores before Seana eats all that bacon she’s cooking, and I don’t get any.”

  “I meant what I said, you know.” Megan stepped away from him, her hands twisting her coat.

  “And what’s that?” Jesse had no idea what she meant.

  “I won’t make you stay here. You were forced to marry me when you didn’t even know what you were doing.”

  “Wait right there.” Jesse held up a hand. “I may not have known, but God did. He’s the one in charge of my life. I believe you’re the right wife for me.”

  Tears glittered in her eyes. “I’m fat. I’m ugly. Why would you want to stay with me? You’re so handsome. There are other prettier girls who would love to marry you.”

  “That is the last time I ever want to hear those words coming from your mouth.” Jesse couldn’t keep the anger from his voice. Megan looked up, wide-eyed.

  “Megan, you are a masterpiece created by God.” He lowered his voice. “He knit you together and made you who you are. You are perfect for me. God knew that.” He wiped a tear from her cheek.

  “One of the things I prayed after leaving home was that if God wanted me to marry, He would send a godly woman, just the right person for me. You, Megan, are that woman.”

  Tears were flowing unchecked down her face. Jesse pulled her close and pressed his lips against her hair. “I didn’t have to marry you, Megan. I could have stayed in that bed and let them railroad you into marrying Mr. Sparks, but that wasn’t God’s plan. Can you see that?”

  She nodded against his coat, and he stroked her back and her hair until she quieted in his arms. Tilting her chin up, Jesse smiled at her. Megan gave him a tentative smile.

  “I think we’d better take the milk on in. What do you think? I can finish the chores here after breakfast.”