The Fighter

by E. L. Todd

  He kept growling, keeping his eyes locked on Brutus at all times, like he was too afraid to let him out of his sight.

  I tugged on his leash and took him across the hall. I walked inside and found Colton and Tom eating dinner together at the dining table.

  “I knew it,” Colton said. “She smelled food.”

  I kicked the door shut behind me. “Actually, can I leave Soldier here until tomorrow morning?”

  “Sure,” Colton said. “But why?”

  “He won’t stop growling at Brutus.”

  Colton stopped eating, his interest piqued. “Really? Soldier?”

  “I don’t get it either.” I unhooked his leash. “He can’t stand Brutus. I really thought he might bite him or something.” Now that we were across the hall, Soldier returned to his normal self, being a happy dog with a wagging tail. “I’ve never seen him act like that before.”

  “Dogs have phenomenal senses when it comes to smell,” Tom said. “Maybe he doesn’t like the smell of Brutus’s clothes or cologne…”

  “Maybe.” He didn’t seem very potent to me.

  “They also have powerful instincts,” Tom said. “Maybe there’s just something he doesn’t like about him…”

  “Like what?” I asked. “Brutus is harmless.”

  Colton shrugged. “Too bad we can’t ask Soldier what his deal is.”

  “Well, Brutus brought dinner so I’ll get Soldier in the morning,” I said. “Thanks for watching him. And just so you know, he takes up half the bed and snores…thanks.” I headed to the door.

  “Sorry, Tom,” Colton said. “Looks like you aren’t sleeping over tonight…”

  I returned to my apartment and found Brutus in the kitchen. He took our food out of the containers and put it on two plates. He’d already opened a bottle of wine and had two glasses filled.

  “Sorry about that.” I was a little embarrassed by the interaction, but I was also concerned about Soldier. That dog had never been anything but loving, loyal, and affectionate. He got along well with strangers when we went on our walks and never barked at the customers in my store. Brutus was a fluke.

  “It’s okay. He’s not coming back, right?”

  “Not until the morning.”

  “Good.” He handed me a fork.

  “I’ve never seen him act that way. Maybe it’s your cologne or something.”

  “Or maybe he’s just a stupid dog.”

  I flinched at the insult, offended by his words just as if he’d said them about Colton or Stella. “Excuse me?” I lowered my fork and stared at him hard, feeling so much anger in just a nanosecond. I was apologetic a moment ago, but now my blood was boiling.

  “He nearly attacks me, and you’re mad at me?”

  “Don’t call him stupid. He’s not stupid.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

  I let the argument drop because it wouldn’t go anywhere positive, but a sinking feeling entered my stomach. Anyone else would brush it off because Soldier was just a dog, but he wasn’t just a dog to me. He was someone I loved, someone I trusted. He was just as important to me as Colton or Stella. But I had to remind myself that Brutus probably didn’t like him because he was Finn’s dog…and maybe that was why there was so much tension in the room.

  Baby. Finn’s text message popped up on my screen.

  I was so used to hearing and seeing that name that I didn’t need to check who it was. How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?

  As many times as it takes for you to give up.

  If he were in the room, I would have rolled my eyes. Soldier was sitting beside me, so I said, “Your dad is an asshole.”

  He placed his snout on my thigh so I would pet him.

  I texted back. I don’t give up easily.

  And I never give up.

  I recognized the double meaning of his words. What do you want?

  My dog. If you’re ready to give him up.

  I never wanted to give him up, but I knew I had to…at least for a little while. You can come and get him.

  I hope you’re hungry because I just picked up Mega Shake.

  I could eat Mega Shake anywhere at any time, but I knew this was just a ploy to stay in my apartment. You can drop off the food and leave.

  And eat it when it gets cold? No, I’m eating it on your couch.

  I started to text back when there was a knock on my door.

  Soldier ran to the door and started whining, like he knew Finn was on the other side. He seemed to be able to see through solid pieces of wood. Or at least he smelled through them.

  I opened the door, wearing my black leggings and a loose shirt around the house. My hair was pulled back in a bun, and I’d skipped the makeup because I’d thought I would be alone tonight. Maybe my plainness would chase him off.

  Like always, Finn looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. His eyes softened slightly as he took in my features, from my pale cheeks to my green eyes. Slowly, a smile entered his face, like I filled him with unexpected joy.

  Soldier whined again, wanting his father’s affection.

  He ignored him. “Hungry?” He held up the bag with grease stains all over it.

  It didn’t matter how much I disliked Finn. I couldn’t say no to a fresh burger and fries. “Get in here…”

  He grinned in victory and stepped inside. “My baby can’t say no to hot fries.”

  I smacked his arm. “That’s insulting on so many levels.”

  “It’s cute on so many levels.”

  When Finn entered the apartment, Soldier wagged his tail and jumped on the couch, excited that both of us were in the same room.

  Finn moved to the couch, wearing his sweatpants and a t-shirt. He probably had been home watching the game when he hopped in his truck and came over here. Whether it was sweatpants, jeans, or a suit, he looked like a million bucks. He pulled the food out of the bag so we could eat it.

  I ate my food and kept space in between us.

  Soldier clearly missed Finn because he practically lay on his lap.

  “How was your day?” Finn asked, pretending everything was normal between us.

  “Fine. I went to the gym early in the morning with Stella then worked for a few hours. Then I took a nap on the couch and haven’t moved since.”

  He chuckled. “Sounds like a nice day.”

  “Except for the gym part. Stella is a crazy bitch.”

  He laughed. “Maybe she should train me.”

  “Nah…you’re good.” He already had eight percent body fat. What more could she do for him?

  He placed a few fries into his mouth and chewed. “I talked to one of my old military buddies today.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, he’s stationed in Texas now. He’ll be in the states for a while.”

  “That’s nice. He’ll have a break.”

  “I told him to come up for a visit if he ever has time.”

  “You think it’ll happen?”

  “Fingers crossed.”

  “Did you work today?”

  “Yeah,” he answered. “The morning shift.”

  “How’s it been back at the hospital?”

  “Good. Nothing has changed. Time stands still there.”

  “Have you seen Layla…?” I would always dislike that woman, even if I had no reason to. She could sleep with him, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  “I’ve worked with her a few times.” He kept eating like mentioning her was of no consequence.

  “She must be happy you’re single.” I was playing a dangerous game. I told Finn we would never be together so he could do whatever he wanted, but I would lose my mind if he hooked up with her.

  He finished chewing another handful of fries. “She doesn’t think I’m single.”

  Relief swept through me instantly. I never wanted her to sink her claws into him. I never wanted her to have him…even if he wasn’t mine at all.

  “I’ve told everyone we
’re still together.”

  “But that’s a lie.”

  “It won’t be a lie forever.”

  His commitment shouldn’t mean anything to me, but it softened my hardened exterior. Having Finn as the man who was completely devoted to me was still a fantasy. I remembered the first time he told the world he was taken…I felt so special. Being the only woman this man wanted was a dream come true…even now. But the feeling was fleeting and wouldn’t last forever. “It wouldn’t have to be a lie at all…”

  He didn’t stop eating his food as he brushed off the comment.

  I ate everything then left the wrappers on the coffee table. It was dark in my living room because I only had a few lamps on. My TV was off because I’d been scrolling through my newsfeed when he texted me. Now it was just the two of us on the couch without any distractions.

  He finished and wiped his fingers on a napkin.

  “Brutus was here a few days ago, and Soldier wouldn’t stop growling at him.”

  “No surprise there.”

  “Have you ever seen him do that before?”

  “Nope.” He leaned back against the couch and looked at me, Soldier in between us. “Never.”

  “I thought it was strange…”

  “It’s not that strange. Soldier doesn’t like him. It’s as simple as that.”

  “But Soldier doesn’t know him.”

  “A dog doesn’t need to know someone to know if they like them or not. They have instincts we can’t understand. Soldier is a public service officer. His job is to protect you. Maybe he felt like you needed to be protected.”

  “Brutus is harmless…”

  “Maybe Soldier disagrees.” He kept watching me, his handsome jawline sexy because he’d just shaved. He had an old-fashioned movie star look, like he belonged on the big screen rather than in a set of scrubs. It was fortunate he had such blue eyes, soft features that made him seem less formidable. He was such a beautiful man…but there was so much underneath that pretty face.

  I remembered how humble he was when he received the bronze star award. I remembered how he defended Colton when his boss was an asshole. I remembered the way he came to my rescue when the guy tried to hurt me at the bar. I remembered the first time he said he loved me…how he wasn’t afraid to say it. There were so many admirable qualities about him. If only he weren’t such a drifter, things could be different. But some people never changed.

  He didn’t blink. “What are you thinking about, baby?”

  I hadn’t even realized I’d been staring at him so hard. “Nothing…”

  “I know that’s a lie.”

  “I was thinking about the ways I admire you…your humility and your loyalty.”

  His eyes softened.

  “But I was also thinking how people never change…including you.”

  His eyes tightened once again, becoming guarded. “Some people do change…when they find the right reason to.”

  He was several feet away from me, but I felt his presence like he was pressed right against me. I could feel the heat between us like a roaring fire was coming out of an invisible hearth. Just the way we used to sit together when we first knew each other, there was this unspoken chemistry. It was so heavy in the air that it was like the room was filled with smog. I never had these tense moments with anyone else, when lust and passion mixed together to form a fiery substance. It wasn’t just because Finn was gorgeous. Brutus was a beautiful man too, but we never had this kind of intensity. It was more than just attraction, more than just desire. I just didn’t know what that thing was.

  “Baby, I’ve changed.” He spoke quietly, his deep voice filling the space between us. His hand moved to his chest, resting over his strong heart. “I’d marry you tomorrow if you said yes.”

  “You made that promise before…”

  “I asked you to be my wife, and then I left. What I’m saying now is, I’ll marry you the second the courthouse opens in the morning. I’ll be legally bound to you as long as you’ll have me. I’ll carry all your shit to my house and put your name on the deed. I’ll put a baby in your belly tonight if you wanted to start our family. Baby, I’m not offering those things to you to get you back. I’m offering them because I want them…so much. Please give me another chance. Please.”

  Moisture built up in my eyes because I wanted to say yes so much. That picture he painted was an artistic masterpiece. To be deeply in love, to sleep in his arms, to have an entire future with him sounded magical. But that wasn’t enough to erase the damage that been done. My heart had never been put back together because there were so many pieces I never found. “Stop this…”

  “I’m never going to stop, baby. I’m your family…be my family.”

  The moisture bubbled into a tear and streaked down my face. “No…”

  “I’ll never leave you ever again—”

  “You can’t make a promise like that—”

  “You bet your ass, I can. I’ve lived my life without you, and it’s unbearable. If you took me back, I would spend every day of the rest of my life trying to keep you. I would worship you. I would be the best husband there ever was. I’m so committed because the only time I want to live without you is after you’re dead…because I won’t have any other choice. I know it’s hard for you to forgive me and trust me, but I promise you I’m not going anywhere.”

  I wiped my tears away and turned my cheek, unable to handle the desperation on his gaze. I didn’t let myself break into sobs, but the tears kept coming.

  Finn moved over Soldier and came to my side of the couch.

  “Finn, no.”

  He cupped my cheek and pressed his forehead to mine. He didn’t kiss me, but his touch was more intimate than sex. His fingers moved into my hair, and he cradled me close to him, letting our chemistry combust once we were combined. “Baby…” He closed his eyes as he held me, touching me just the way he used to when we made love. “You have to forgive me. We belong together…I know we do.”

  I wanted to pull away, but I didn’t have the strength. His touch was so comforting, like heat after a long winter. His flames were so warm that I never wanted to leave his radiance. This felt like home, like what I’d been missing since the day he left. I wanted to close my eyes and stay there forever…feel safe forever.

  But I would never be safe with this man. I would always be afraid of the moment things changed, when an offer popped up that he couldn’t refuse, when modern life became too boring for him and he needed something new. “No.”

  “Baby—”

  “I said no.” I got to my feet and escaped his embrace. “You want me today, but when domestic life bores you, you’ll crave something more.”

  He bowed his head forward and closed his eyes.

  “I know how you are, Finn. You’ll get tired of me eventually. And if you stay, you’ll just resent me.”

  “That’s not possible…because being with you is the only place I want to be.”

  “Just go.” I headed for my bedroom. “I mean it, Finn. Go.”

  I lay in my bed with Soldier by my side, my eyes closed once the tears finally stopped.

  Curled up into a ball, he lay beside me, his eyes opening once in a while to check if I was still there.

  Turning down Finn was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do—but I knew it was for the best.

  My phone started to ring.

  It was Brutus. I wasn’t in the mood to talk, but I didn’t want to ignore him either. It felt deceitful. I answered and did my best to keep my voice normal, to stop the cracking sound my throat produced. “Hey…”

  “Hey. I’m surprised you’re still awake.”

  “Yeah…I lost track of time.” I usually went to bed early since I had Stella’s class at the break of dawn, but I was too depressed to go tomorrow.

  “Something wrong?” He must have detected my tone of voice. I was usually perkier than this, even if I was tired. We hadn’t known each other very long but got quickly acquainted with each other.
>
  I liked the honesty in our relationship, so I told him the truth. “Finn left not too long ago…”

  Silence.

  “He came to get Soldier, but then we started talking…told me we should get back together. Said he wanted to marry me and he would never leave me again…but I told him no.” I sighed as I remembered the conversation, the tears still in my eyes.

  “You want me to handle it?” He quickly turned hostile, sounding terrifying. “I can get him to leave you alone.”

  It was a strange thing to offer, and I wasn’t sure if I liked it. “No, it’s okay…he’s fine.”

  “Why does he keep trying?”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Do you still love him? Did you tell him that?”

  The answer was sitting in my heart and I didn’t want to tell a lie, so I told the truth. “I do still love him…but I didn’t tell him that.”

  Silence once again.

  “He’ll give up eventually…at some point.”

  “I think it’s pretty rude to keep trying when you’re in a relationship with someone else.” Seething with anger, he made it obvious this whole thing annoyed him. We were happy until Finn returned to town. Our relationship had never been the same since.

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry,” he said ominously. “He should be the one who’s sorry…”

  “Wanna play Monopoly?” Colton picked up the box from the counter. “It’s a classic.”

  “That game is so long,” I said. “And a bit boring. Brutus, what do you think?” With a glass of red wine in my hand, I turned to Brutus.

  He was in jeans and a t-shirt, his muscular arm around my waist. “It is a classic. But I’m down for anything.”

  “Come on, don’t be diplomatic,” I argued. “What do you want to play?”

  Brutus shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me.”

  I turned to Tom. “Veto Monopoly.”

  “What about Stella and Zach?” Tom asked, using them as a scapegoat. “Maybe we should wait and see what they want to play.”

  “And Finn,” Colton added.

  I should have known Finn was coming. We hadn’t spoken since our emotional conversation in my apartment a few days ago. He had the sense to give me space after breaking my heart all over again.