Past Lies

by Kim Rees

  Sofia shrugged. “In the beginning. But then your reputation ran ahead of itself.” Her laughter grated against Anna’s stretched nerves. “Men couldn’t wait to unwrap those conservative layers.”

  “Why?”

  Sofia shrugged. “Beats me.”

  The familiar burn of dislike, of disappointment, soured her gut. It was time to face her sister as an adult. “Why would you think it fun to let everyone think your sister was a slut?”

  The smirk faded from her face and her expression became stone. Anna felt the hairs prickle on the back of her neck. “I wanted you to know how it felt.”

  Anna blinked. “Excuse me?”

  Sofia stood and Anna willed herself not to step back. “Poor little Anna.” Her voice was a whine. “Poor little Anna who lost her mother, her father.” Her skin had flushed and the grip on her glass had her knuckles white. “Everyone coddled you. Gregory, especially Gregory, even Zach. But me?” Her voice was thick and Anna thought she saw the reddening shine of tears in her eyes. “What about me?”

  “You?”

  Sofia turned away. “Me. I lost no one, obviously. I was nineteen. I was an adult. I didn’t lose a mother, a father I worshipped.”

  “Sofia…” Anna rested her hand on her sister’s stiff shoulder. Sofia yanked herself free.

  “I don’t need your sympathy.”

  “You resent me.”

  Her laugh was bitter. “Oh, you’re so understanding, Anna.” Sofia turned back to her and the familiar mocking twist had returned to her features. “I played you because I could.”

  “And now you have everything you wanted.” Anna ran her fingers through her untidy hair, scrunching the ends in tight fists. “You have the house, you have Zach’s business.”

  “Do I?”

  Anna stared at her. “Well, you told Carl I was with Freddie. We broke the terms Gregory set.”

  Sofia drained her glass and banged it back down onto the cabinet. “I’m sure you can find somewhere else to live after today, Anna.” She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “You always fall on your feet. You’ll do it again.”

  “Is this all that Gregory asked of you?”

  “It’s all I’m giving to this charade.” She tugged open the door. Zach strode into the room. “She’s all yours.”

  “Sofia…” Anna didn’t know what to say. Her sister was walking out on her. There was the sudden grief of knowing the sister she could have had, of that life lost to her.

  The woman stalked down the long corridor without a backward glance.

  “Anna, what did she say?”

  The concern in Zach’s eyes was just a mockery. She slipped on her protecting social smile. “Let’s get this over with.”

  He frowned and Anna ignored him.

  She’d meant what she’d said about Middleton. It was beautiful, but it wasn’t real. She couldn’t recreate the happiness she had found there as a child. She’d been foolish to believe that she could. It was a dream. Nothing more.

  Anna had her savings. She had contacts. A job and a new place to live, that was her plan for the future.

  And Zach? She had no clue and she had to ignore the tight pain fixed in her chest. From what he had said she was foolish to try to push further.

  She focused on Carl, instead, watching him neatly arrange his papers over his desk.

  He twitched a smile at her. “I have everything I need to discuss with you here.”

  “What is there to discuss?” Zach closed the door. “We broke the agreement. Everything goes to Sofia.”

  Carl winced. “Not…exactly.” He looked back to his desk. “Can we sit?”

  Zach’s hand briefly touched the small of Anna’s back and it jolted her forward. She sank into the same chair she had sat in only twenty-four hours before. The leather was cold against her skin and she shivered. “Tell us the worst of it, Mr. Petersen. What else could I have lost?”

  She knew Zach was staring at her. Again, she ignored him.

  “You lasted…fifteen hours.” Carl Petersen flicked through his papers and pulled out more handwritten envelopes that Anna had seen on his desk the day before. “One for each of you.” He stood, his reddened face flushing further. “And I’m sorry, these have to be read in private.”

  Zach stared at him. “That’s it? Yet more envelopes?”

  Colour still slashed the solicitor’s cheeks. “Mr. Brabant’s will has caused trouble to a number of people. I’m sorry. But I believe these letters will explain everything. My instructions are to leave you to read them.”

  He left, the door closing with an overloud thump in the thick silence of his office.

  Anna stared at the front of the envelope and traced over Gregory’s familiar scrawl. What was he playing at now? Her hand trembled and she turned the envelope over and tore it open.

  She read.

  And closed her eyes in disbelief. Her heart thudded.

  It was over.

  “This was just a game?” Fury lined Zach’s voice and he threw the letter onto the desk. “I get the company. You get your cottage. And his parting line? ‘Zach, get your head out of your arse’.”

  Anna couldn’t help the spluttered laugh. “Sounds like Gregory.” Her humour faded. This was it. They could go their separate ways. It was for the best. Wasn’t it? “Well…” Damn, her bag was in Zach’s apartment and that meant she didn’t have the keys to her car parked in the basement. But there was no way on earth she was going to ask him for them. “I have to be going.”

  Zach’s head snapped up. “No.”

  “This has finished.” She waved her letter at him. “Mine says the same thing.” Her mouth twitched. “Without the arse comment.”

  He frowned. “This is far from over, Anna.”

  The familiar spark of anger ignited in her gut. “I won’t do this anymore.”

  “We have to—”

  “What?” Anna pushed back her chair with a rough scrape over the thick carpet. “I…I need to get on with my life.”

  “So you’re running again?”

  Anna pulled on her sandals. She would have to ask Carl for a loan. Her cheeks burned at the thought. She was supposed to be living a new life and that meant being an adult and not being afraid. She took a deep breath. “My car keys and purse are in your apartment. If you wouldn’t mind giving me a lift, please?”

  Zach stared at her.

  “All that I have right now is the clothes I’m standing up in. So is that a yes?”

  With a look of disbelief on his face, he waved his arm towards the door. “Yes.”

  They startled Carl who was hovering outside of his office. He gave a small smile and pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t reveal the truth to you, not even to Mrs. Brabant.”

  “Sofia knows?” Her anger finally made sense to Anna. She had thought that everything would fall to her. And now, for all of Sofia’s scheming, she had none of it.

  “Yes.”

  Zach’s short laugh was harsh. “Gregory hasn’t left us with any more tricks, has he?”

  “No, Mr. Quinn.”

  Carl held out his hand to Anna. “Well, good luck, Ms. Shrewsbury.”

  She forced herself to smile and take his hand. “Thank you. In some ways, you must be glad we didn’t last the week.”

  He snorted. “I suppose you could say that.”

  He shook Zach’s hand and disappeared back into his office. There was a heavy and relieved sigh just before the door thumped shut.

  “You wanted that lift?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  Awkwardness itched over her. They no longer had any reason to stay in each other’s company. And really, for both their sakes, staying far, far away from each other was probably the most sensible thing to do. That’s what the rational part of her mind was declaring. She clung to it, because that thought helped her ignore the pain twisting her insides.

  They were silent in the lift as it slowly juddered back down
to the basement.

  And just as silent in the slow ride back to Zach’s apartment.

  Zach let her precede him into the long hallway. Her heels clicked over the walnut flooring and Anna forced her mind to focus, not to slip back to the night before. She headed straight for the study and found her handbag. Her overnight bag still sat there too.

  “Mind if I change?”

  Zach shrugged out of his jacket. “Go ahead.”

  “Thank you.”

  A muscle in his cheek jumped.

  Anna’s sudden politeness was excruciating.

  Zach threw his jacket over a chair and found himself in the kitchen. He was still having trouble processing what Gregory had done. And how much the old man had known. About him, at least. But it was over. He had his business. Anna had her house. And they could walk away…

  …when her test proved negative.

  His heart kicked.

  What had he been thinking?

  Zach stared, sightless, out of the long kitchen window. He hadn’t been thinking. He didn’t do that when Anna was involved. He reacted. In lust and in fury. He ran a hand through his hair and pushed himself away from the kitchen counter. His eyes burned with tiredness. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept.

  No, that was a lie. He had slept with his arms wrapped around Anna’s warm body and the herbal scent of her hair following him into the deepest sleep he’d ever experienced.

  Zach cursed. “Tired thoughts.” He would tell David to drive her back to her car and then hit his bed. He remembered his biology lessons. It would be over a week before Anna’s body would produce the hormone for which the pregnancy kit tested.

  Zach closed his eyes. And didn’t that sound dispassionate? He wished it felt that way, because his gut was in a knot at the thought of having created a new life with Anna. He had never considered having children and he was certain she hadn’t.

  Neither of them were designed to be parents.

  He told himself that and a single memory from his childhood burned beneath it.

  Seeing his father’s face when Zach’s mother, looking so beautiful she almost glowed, had disappeared into the night. He had been five years old and the conversation still haunted him.

  “Why don’t you think Mummy looked beautiful?”

  His father stroked his hand over Zach’s hair and it trembled. “She did. She does. It’s just not for me.”

  His father had smiled, the bright and mischievous grin reserved solely for him, and picked Zach up. He could still feel the tight, almost desperate strength of his father’s hold. He blinked and Zach had thought it odd. It seemed as though his father had tears in his eyes.

  A few days later, the tabloids splashed her first infidelity across the country.

  His life was never the same again.

  Zach let go of a slow breath.

  No, he and Anna should not be parents.

  “So…I’ll get a taxi back.”

  He jumped. He hadn’t heard her come into the kitchen. “David can take you.”

  “I don’t want to impose—”

  “No.” He held up his hand. “Enough politeness for one lifetime, please.”

  Anna was staring at him. “Then I won’t say thank you.”

  She lifted her bag, slung it over her shoulder and turned. Anna was leaving.

  He had tried to offer her more, to accept her for who she was and she had turned away. The familiar fury lashed up through him, commanding him to throw harsh words after her, to stop his own pain by hurting her. “So you’re going back to your old life?”

  “There never was my ‘old life’, Zach. It’s something you’ll never believe of me.”

  He stalked toward her and the fire burned in her dark eyes. Her chin lifted.

  He stopped. “So all of those men lied?”

  “For Sofia, yes.”

  “That’s insane.”

  Anna’s mouth twisted into a sharp smile. “Hello? You’ve met my sister.” She jabbed her thumb at the open doorway. “I have to go.”

  More anger rose and again he wanted to make her hurt the way he did… But fury didn’t work. It had never worked yet. Zach forced those words back and offered one that had escaped before. “Stay.”

  Anna froze. “Why?”

  “Why?” He blinked.

  Why?

  He wanted her. From that first stolen kiss, he had wanted her…

  “See? I don’t play your games anymore. I’ve been an idiot for the past six years. But now I’m free.” She readjusted the weight of her overnight bag. “Free of Sofia and of you.”

  “Damn it, Anna, why are we denying this attraction?” His hand stroked her neck and her responding shiver fed back through his fingers. “You can’t have already forgotten how good we were.”

  Anna stepped back from him. “Would we have to strike a deal? Would I have to agree to an exclusivity clause again?”

  Zach worked the muscles in his jaw. That particular conversation burned fresh in his memory too. Isabelle’s actions had demanded that he protect himself…but the request had only met with horror from Anna. Her look of disgust still seared him. It was the same with all the women in his life.

  One man could never be enough.

  With Anna, he finally had to accept it.

  “No,” he said.

  Anna swallowed and her throat ached with unshed tears.

  He didn’t care.

  They would simply use each other for sex. And he wouldn’t care where she was when it wasn’t her allotted time to be with him. Nor with whom. Damn him. “So you don’t mind, that of course when it isn’t your turn, that I’m sleeping with Nathan, with Eric.” Her smile was sharp. “Maybe even old Sir Nigel, who seemed quite keen on the idea last night.” Her head tilted. “And naturally, for your precious privacy, I’ll be ultra discreet.”

  Colour cut across his cheeks, but the rest of his face could have been carved from stone. “No. I don’t mind.”

  Bile rose to her mouth and her stomach turned. “Sir Nigel Wallingham? Twenty stone of gristled old man, heaving and panting—”

  “For Christ’s sake, Anna, what more do you want from me?”

  Anna stared at him.

  He straightened, ran a hand over his hair. The calm, controlled Zach had returned. “I don’t need to know the details.” A bitter smile twisted his mouth. “I don’t want to know them.”

  “And you’d be happy with this arrangement?”

  “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  “What the hell are you pushing for, Anna? I’ve agreed. Deal done.”

  Anna closed her eyes.

  Zach wanted her and the deal was tempting. She held down a sour laugh, even as harshly as he had offered that deal. Yet, who he thought she was still stabbed at her. Anna knew that the more time she spent with Zach, the more she would be unable to deny her feelings. She didn’t want to think about the time when he would simply terminate his deal once he was sated. To save herself, she could have only one answer.

  “No.”

  “No?” He stared at the floor. “What else do you want? For everyone to know?” More blood flushed his face and when he looked back to her the bitter defeat in his eyes shocked her. “All right. I’ll agree to that, too.”

  “Oh my God.” A hysterical laugh burst out of her. “You mean it.”

  He jerked a nod.

  This was Zach, a man scarred by his wife’s infidelities, her lies, a man who shrouded himself in privacy.

  What the hell was he doing? Damn him, she knew…

  “Oh, this is another of your games. I accept and you laugh in my face.”

  “Am I laughing now?”

  His lips brushed hers in a swift caress. Pressing harder, his mouth held her and the familiar taste of him had her heart pounding. His hands slipped over her cheek, her jaw and she couldn’t help herself. She opened her mouth to him.

  The meeting of hot tongues released a moan. Hers or his, she couldn’t tell.


  Heat surged and she deepened the kiss. She stumbled back, hit a cupboard and cursed the awkward shape of her bag as the impact dragged her mouth from his.

  Anna stared into his darkened eyes. The heat, the desire there, fuelled her need.

  “You want me.”

  “Any way I can get you.”

  Her breath caught. “And you mean that, too.”

  Zach sighed. “Anna.” He stepped back and she missed the warmth of his body. “I want you.” His smile was wry. “For six years, I’ve wanted you.” He turned away and Anna watched him pace over the tiled floor. “I never understood how Gregory, nor my father could live the way they did. Live with how their wives behaved.”

  He smiled, something almost sad. “I know that you have to be the woman you are.” His hand rubbed over his jaw and he closed his eyes.

  Anna stared at him. What was he saying? He had said something similar only a few hours before…

  His eyes opened and what she saw there stopped her heart.

  “As long as you come back to me, I can live with that.”

  Emotion choked her. A tear ran cold down her cheeks.

  Betrayal had scarred him and yet he was willing to publicly share her.

  “Zach.” Her hand pressed against his chest and the solid thud of his heart beat through her palm. “Thank you for the offer of letting me be with other men. But I don’t want it.”

  Silent, he turned away from her and Anna’s fingers drew back into her palm.

  “I didn’t lie, Zach. There has been only you.” She was talking to his back. “Why don’t you want to believe that?”

  His laugh was bitter. “So you lied for six years?” He leant against the kitchen counter and regarded her with cool eyes. “Why do something that stupid?”

  Anna winced. She did deserve that one. She had been stupid. Sucking in courage, she pulled her bag back over her head and dropped it to the floor. He had been honest. And from a man like Zach, his offer had been incredible. It was time for her to be just as honest.