He shrugged. “Not much to say about it. I grew up and that’s that. Besides, I’ve always been the type to look ahead, not back.”
Once again Julianne fell silent and Sam followed suit. She didn’t know what Colleen had been hinting at, but obviously Sam and Colleen had very different perspectives on their childhoods. Not so unusual considering the fact that Sam was twelve years older than Colleen.
As his hand stroked through her hair, she felt herself relaxing fully against him, enjoying the softness of his caresses. She fought the impulse to turn toward him, place her lips on his and drink in his essence, give herself over to the pleasurable act of making love with him.
She didn’t want to confuse him, didn’t want to confuse herself, and yet she longed for him to take her. It had been so long, and her body ached to be a part of his. The thought of never again knowing the sheer joy of making love with him filled her with a deep, abiding sadness.
Despite their brief times together in their everyday life, in spite of her growing unhappiness throughout the past couple of years, he’d always made her forget everything by taking her in his arms. Making love had always been the one thing they did tremendously well together.
She closed her eyes once again, allowing sweet memories to wash over her. Sam’s mouth on hers, his hands softly touching, caressing her body with flames. Her heart responded to the heat of her thoughts, beating the rapid, uneven rhythm of desire.
Just one last time, she told herself. Why not make love with him one last time? Why deprive herself of the pleasure of being held in his arms, possessed by his fire? At least for this moment they were married, husband and wife.
She turned so she faced him and realized his thoughts must have followed the way of hers, for his eyes were darkened by need and beneath her hand on his chest she could feel the thundering of his heartbeat.
He didn’t give her a chance to voice what she wanted; rather, he seemed to sense her need and responded by placing his lips on hers. His mouth plied hers softly, gently, then deepened to taste of fire and need.
With a deft movement, he changed positions, stretching out and pulling her to lie on top of him. During the shifting, their lips never parted.
Julianne wanted to capture each sensation, every sensory detail in her mind. She wanted to always remember the sweet taste of his mouth, the heat of his hands that burned through the back of her thin silk blouse.
“Juli,” he breathed as their kiss finally ended. His voice was husky, deeper than usual, and she heard the unspoken question in his tone.
“Shh.” She pressed her fingertip to his lips, not wanting to speak, wanting only to follow through on her desire without thought, without explanation, without regrets.
When his mouth covered hers again, gone was any lingering hesitation. This time he tasted of urgency and hunger. She melted against him, her body conforming with intimacy and sweet familiarity into the contours of his.
Julianne had always loved Sam’s kisses and this time was no different. For several minutes she was satisfied with the simple pleasure of his mouth on hers. However, it didn’t take long before she wanted more.
Again Sam understood her need. With one swift movement he pulled his T-shirt over his head, then with his gaze holding hers, he unfastened the buttons of her blouse and removed it from her. As he unsnapped her bra and it fell away, Julianne felt no shyness, no embarrassment, as his gaze lingered on her bareness.
As his hands cupped her breasts, Julianne moaned her pleasure and returned the caress, stroking the strong muscles of his chest, the flat planes of his abdomen. She was vaguely aware of their ragged breaths filling the confines of the attic, aware that she was quickly losing all control beneath the onslaught of his caresses.
Sam knew just where to touch, where to kiss to ignite scorching flames inside her. Partly instinct, mostly familiarity, he’d always managed to take Julianne to the soaring heights of passion. And this time was no different.
Within a few minutes they were both naked and Julianne felt tears pressing heavily at her eyes as Sam weaved his sensual magic, taking her higher and higher. As he possessed her completely, she clung to him. There were no regrets of the past, no concerns for the future. She gave herself totally to the here and now of being in Sam’s arms, joined to him body and soul.
Later, she remained in his arms, their breaths slowing, their heartbeats resuming a more normal rhythm. The tears she had fought to hold back flowed freely. Her crying was a common thing. Nearly every time they made love, tears flowed from Julianne.
Sam had teased her on their wedding night, proclaiming that instead of a blushing bride, he’d managed to get a crying bride. Her tears weren’t ones of sadness, but rather tears of overwhelming emotion pulled forth from the intensity of sharing so intimately with Sam.
He took his finger and gently wiped her cheeks. “Was it that bad?” he asked teasingly.
It was an old joke and Julianne smiled through her tears. “No. It was that good,” she replied. Sam’s resulting chuckle swept through her like a welcome cool breeze on a stifling summer day.
She closed her eyes as a renewed arrow of emotion pierced through her and she recognized her tears this time were different. These tears were new, distinct because they grew from a profound sadness that felt like lead in the bottom of her heart. This time she knew she was crying because she’d just made love with her husband for the very last time.
Sam awoke feeling better than he had since his father’s murder. Although he was once again alone on the blanket in the attic, Julianne’s scent still lingered around him, reminding him of the sweet wonder of their lovemaking. For the first time since his disappearance, hope was back in his heart.
Surely if Julianne really intended to leave him, she wouldn’t have made love with him so passionately. She couldn’t have faked the desire he saw shining from her eyes. She couldn’t pretend it hadn’t been love they had expressed by physical means. In their lovemaking, Sam wanted to believe he felt a renewed commitment from her.
Again he felt the shifting sands of time running out, the need to vindicate himself and get his life back to normal. What good was it if Julianne gave him another chance and he ended up in prison for the rest of his life?
He looked at his wristwatch, realizing he’d slept longer and harder than usual. It was after eight, and he was sure Julianne and Emily had already left for the preschool. He’d take a quick shower, then hit the computer. Maybe today would be the day he would crack the file that could free him from his attic hideaway.
Almost nine hours later, the hope he’d had in beginning the day had dwindled to nothing. He set the table, knowing Julianne would appreciate the gesture when she got home. He’d also taken out steaks to broil and had potatoes baking in the oven and a salad chilling in the refrigerator. At least for today he couldn’t offer her a future, but he could offer her dinner.
He smiled humorlessly at this thought and sat down at the table. He’d only set two places, afraid that if somebody came in with Julianne after work they would notice a place setting for three.
Barry had almost caught him the night before when he’d walked in with Julianne. Thank goodness Julianne’s voice had been loud when she’d entered the house, giving Sam enough time to flee up the stairs.
Barry. Could he be the man behind the murder? The thought made Sam’s heart ache with betrayal. Sam had always considered Barry a good friend, but he knew Barry was ambitious, and ambition had ruined many a good man. Now Barry’s wife was pregnant, a pregnancy he suspected wasn’t a planned one. Had Barry panicked, decided to throw his hand in with criminals for a bonus cash award? Had the thought of a family made Barry decide to pursue money over all else?
He tensed as the front door opened, then relaxed as he heard Julianne’s voice. “Sam?” she called, letting him know she and Emily were alone.
“In here.” He stood and smiled as Emily launched herself toward him.
“Hi, Daddy. I had a good day,” she excl
aimed.
“That’s terrific. I like it when my girls have good days,” he replied, nuzzling her sweet cheek with his nose.
She giggled and twisted out of his arms, a whirlwind of energy. “I made you a picture,” she said as she pulled a crayon drawing out of her backpack. “That’s me and Mommy and you and Uncle Garri and Aunt Letta, and we’re all riding on a dragonfly’s back.”
“And it’s a beautiful dragonfly,” Sam observed. He looked at Julianne. She leaned against the cabinet, looking tired but lovely. “Hard day?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Not really. I’m just tired.” She gestured toward the table. “Thanks for getting dinner started.”
“No problem. I didn’t have anything better to do.” Despite his effort to the contrary, he heard the hopeless depression in his voice.
“No progress on the file?”
“None worthwhile.”
“Emily, run upstairs and put your backpack away, then wash your hands for dinner,” Julianne said. As the little girl disappeared from the kitchen, Julianne sank down at the table across from Sam. “I’ve been thinking, Sam.”
He forced a small smile. “Uh-oh.”
A flash of responding humor lightened her eyes for a single moment, then she sobered and her eyes darkened. “There’s got to be another way to clear your name. It’s obvious that cracking that file is going to take months…months I’m afraid we don’t have.”
He nodded and released a sigh of resignation. “Yeah, I’m beginning to think the same thing. But I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know who to trust, so I’m afraid to ask anyone to help me. But without help I may not be able to clear my name.”
She leaned toward him, her brow wrinkled in thought. “You’ve got the two charms, yours and Colleen’s, right?”
He fought the impulse to take his finger and rub away the worry lines on her forehead. He’d do anything to relieve her of this burden. But he was out of ideas, didn’t know how to solve the problems that weighed so heavily on them both. “Yes, but they don’t do me a damn bit of good. I need Carolyn’s and Bonnie’s charms in order to have the complete password to get into the computer program.”
“And we don’t know who has those charms, but you’re fairly sure it’s somebody within the corporation.”
He nodded agreement. “Nothing else makes sense.”
“Sam, why couldn’t I pretend I received your and Colleen’s charms through the mail and I don’t know why you mailed them to me? Why couldn’t I go to the Baker Enterprises offices and let people know I have those two charms?”
“Absolutely not.” Sam’s stomach rolled at the thought of his wife using herself as bait. He stood and turned on the broiler, then shoved the steaks into the oven.
“But don’t you agree that might flush out whoever is responsible for all of this mess?” she asked. “They need your charms as badly as you need the ones they have. They’ll want to destroy that file before anyone can get to it and use it against them.”
“Julianne, forget it. It’s a crazy idea. It’s too dangerous. I’d never allow you to do such a thing.”
Her cheeks flushed red. “But I’m supposed to lie to all our friends and pretend my daughter has a daddy-fantasy problem and live a lie until you manage to stumble across the right combination of numbers and letters?” She drew in a deep, unsteady breath. “For God’s sake, Sam. Let me help. At least let me try it and see what happens. Who knows when the police are going to show up at our door with a warrant? Then we’ll be out of time, and everything will be out of our control.”
Sam sank down in the chair opposite her, torn between warring emotions. On one hand, he knew she was right. They didn’t have the luxury of time that it would take for him to crack the file by trial and error. But, dread coursed through him as he considered sending her on a fishing expedition using herself as bait. The person or persons they sought had killed once. There was nothing to assure they wouldn’t kill again.
“Juli, I appreciate the offer, but it’s just too dangerous. If you connect with the right person they might take you into the parking lot and kill you for those charms.”
“Then I won’t go in alone,” she countered.
He smiled wryly. “I can’t exactly be your escort.”
She frowned thoughtfully, then snapped her fingers and smiled. “I’ll take Colleen with me. We’ll get Gideon to wire us.” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “Sam, I’ll do whatever it takes to get this settled and over with. We’ve got to get on with our lives.”
Sam nodded. Yes, he wanted that more than anything. He wanted to be able to take his daughter to the zoo, or play a game of tag with her in the front yard. He wanted to be able to answer his phone or open his door. More than anything, he wanted to be able to sleep with his wife in his own bed. He wanted to do all those things without the fear that had twisted his insides for the past four months.
He looked at his wife, taking a moment to drink in her features. The dark brown eyes that spoke eloquently of her emotions. The smooth jawline and slightly stubborn thrust of her chin. The mouth that seemed to beg to be kissed. How he loved her. The thought of anything happening to her was enough to make him feel ill, and yet he knew she was at a breaking point.
“Okay,” he agreed wearily. “Let’s get Colleen and Gideon over here and talk about the possibilities. I’m not saying I agree to this crazy scheme,” he cautioned, then added, “but I’m willing to at least discuss it.”
As Julianne went to the phone and dialed Colleen’s number, Sam leaned his head down on the tabletop, praying they weren’t making an enormous mistake.
Chapter Nine
Monday morning Julianne awakened, nerves tingling, knowing today was the day she might face a murderer. She’d put Emily on a plane the night before. Carolyn had called several hours later to report the little girl had arrived safe and sound and would be a welcomed visitor for the next week or so.
Julianne had called her boss at the preschool yesterday and asked for the day off. She hadn’t offered any explanation, just that she had some personal business to take care of.
She rolled over onto her side and looked at the clock. Just after six. Colleen and Gideon would arrive within an hour and they’d finalize their game plan. She frowned, aware that in this particular game the stakes were high…life and death.
However, the rewards were enormous. Hopefully, by using herself and the charms as bait, she could give Sam back his life. It would be her final gift to him.
She shoved away this thought, finding it too distracting, too painful to consider. She didn’t want anything in her mind except the trip to Baker Enterprises. She needed to remain clearheaded and unemotional, stay focused on her goal. She couldn’t think about the fact that when this was over and Sam’s name was cleared, she intended to leave him.
Closing her eyes, she tried to steady the nerves that caused her stomach to jump and twitch. She only hoped this worked and she managed to flush out the guilty party. She needed this to be over, needed to begin fresh, start a new life…seek the kind of happiness she couldn’t seem to find here with Sam.
“Juli?”
She sat up as the person in her thoughts poked his head into the bedroom. “It’s okay. I’m awake,” she replied.
He walked into the room and sat down on the end of the bed. “Changed your mind about going to Baker Enterprises this morning?”
“No, and nothing is going to change my mind.” She pushed a strand of her hair away from her face. “We have to give it a try, Sam. We’re out of choices and we’re running out of time.”
Her cheeks warmed beneath the weight of his gaze. Was he remembering their lovemaking? She’d tried not to dwell on it, not wanting to remember how good it had felt to be held in his arms, loved so tenderly, so completely.
Would he hate her when she left? Sam was an all or nothing kind of man. She couldn’t imagine remaining friends with him when their marriage broke apart, but knew they would be
civil for Emily’s sake. Civil. It sounded so cold, so impersonal.
“You scared?” he asked.
She nodded. Yes, she was scared…scared of what they were about to do, frightened of leaving him, afraid not to.
“Good,” he replied. “It’s good if you’re scared. That will make you cautious.” His gaze lingered on her face. “I still wish there was some other way.”
“Me, too,” she said, aware she was thinking of something far different from her trip to the Baker Enterprises. “I’d better get showered and dressed. Colleen and Gideon will be here soon.”
He nodded and stood. “I’ll make the coffee.”
Moments later as Julianne stood beneath the shower, she once again thought of her marriage and the man who was her husband. She knew she’d never love a man again in the same way she loved Sam. She’d never again be quite so naive or filled with such hope.
But even if she never fell in love again, even if she lived the rest of her life alone, it couldn’t be as lonely as she’d been during her married life to Sam.
Waiting for his footsteps on the porch, wondering why he chose to work late instead of coming home to her, all had combined to make her realize she would never be enough for her husband. And she’d rather be alone than not be enough.
After her shower she dressed quickly, able to hear Gideon’s and Colleen’s voices mingling with Sam’s and drifting up the stairs from the kitchen. Once dressed, she descended the stairs, trying to control the butterflies in her tummy. She walked into the kitchen and flashed a nervous smile. “Good morning,” she greeted her sister- and brother-in-law.
“Thanks,” she said to Sam as he thrust a mug of coffee into her hands. She sat down at the table and cupped her hands around the mug, the warmth soothing on her icy fingers.
“So, 003, are you ready for this big adventure?” Colleen asked.
“Double-o-three?”
Colleen nodded. “I figure you’re 003 and I’m 004. Between the two of us, hopefully we’ll be on par with 007 and manage to get the bad guys.”
Daddy On The Run Page 10