Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series)

by Michelle Irwin

  “Even if you hadn’t agreed to follow Alyssa’s requests, what the hell were you thinking getting behind the wheel in that state?” Before I could say anything in my own defence—not that there was anything I could say to excuse my behaviour—he continued on. “Do you know how many cars we have come through the doors here because of drunk drivers? Do you know how many lives have been lost because wankers like you got behind the wheel?”

  “I didn’t come here for a lecture.”

  “Well, stiff shit. If you’re going to make stupid decisions, you’re going to have to listen to one. What if it hadn’t been me? I can control my car well enough when arseholes try to run me off the road, but what if it’d been another car you swerved toward? One with a family? You could have killed someone. What if you’d had Alyssa in the car with you? Phoebe?”

  His words twisted in my stomach, writhing like snakes and increasing the guilt. “You think I don’t know that?”

  “I don’t know. You were the one who—”

  Holding up my hand, I cut him off. “Yeah, yeah, I know. And I really don’t need to fucking hear it again.”

  “You do realise that if I hadn’t been there, if I hadn’t driven your drunk arse home, you might have been caught DUI? Anyone else would have probably called the police.”

  “What do you want, a fucking medal?”

  He moved over to me and sat in the other tub chair. “You know, each time I see you I find myself thoroughly confused over what it is that Alyssa sees in you. I still wonder what she’d say if she knew you almost ran me off the road.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “You didn’t tell her?”

  He sighed and looked away. “I was going to. And I still think she needs to know.”

  “Then why didn’t you? After all, it’d earn you some points against me.”

  “God, you are such an idiot. This isn’t a fucking contest.”

  Despite his words, it felt like one.

  “She cares about you. God only knows why, but she does. If it was up to me, I’d be kicking your arse to the kerb over what you did.”

  “Are we done here?”

  “You don’t get it do you? I’m trying to help you out. I know Alyssa better than you do.”

  “No. I really don’t think you do.” I couldn’t help the smirk that crossed my lips. Sure he might have her confidence for the moment, but there were things about Alyssa I knew that Flynn never could. Things that fuelled my fantasies and filled my nights.

  “Whatever, man, I just want to know you’ll stop doing stupid shit that can kill other people.”

  “Not that it’s any of your business but no, it won’t happen again. And you can tell Alyssa that when you speak to her.”

  He seemed to consider my words for a few moments, then he nodded. “Just know that if you do, I won’t hesitate to call the cops and get your arse arrested for DUI.”

  Before I had a chance to say anything in response, there was a knock on the wall beside the open door. Without waiting to be invited in, Cain walked through and offered me a sheet of paper.

  “I’ve got your quote,” he said. “If you’re interested, I can probably fit you in today.”

  “Are you serious?” The rest of my question, Why on God’s green earth would I leave my car with you? died on my tongue as I flicked open the quote. I’d been certain it was going to be jacked up to twice the normal price, but it wasn’t. In fact, it was a good few hundred less than I would have expected for the damage. “How long will it take?”

  Cain and Flynn shared a loaded glance before Flynn nodded.

  “I could probably have it back to you by Friday,” Cain said.

  “Friday. Huh.” It timed out perfectly, but could I actually trust him with my baby?

  Except, if I did, and they fucked up the Monaro worse than it already was, I could probably use it to my advantage. Alyssa would be pissed at them if they knowingly screwed me over. Plus, a bad word about their business by Declan Reede could probably cause them some grief. It was worth the risk to have my car repaired before Saturday with as little effort as possible.

  “I guess I can leave it here, but then I don’t have another car.” I didn’t add that I needed one to take Alyssa on a date.

  “We can probably help out with that,” Flynn said. “We have a few loaner cars.”

  He walked over to his desk and grabbed a leaflet. When he handed it to me, I saw it was for Eastern Car Hire.

  “We actually run a hire company,” he explained. “It’s a good secondary source of income.”

  “Flynn’s a wicked businessman,” Cain said. “He came up with the idea after he finished uni last year. We haven’t looked back since.”

  “It was easy to build on the back of his skills with the wrench.”

  That’s fucking nice. Resisting an eye-roll at the mutual wank-fest, I nodded. Even though it killed me to ask, I found the words. “Well, what do you have available?”

  Cain and Flynn grinned at each other and somehow I knew I was fucked.

  CHAPTER FIVE: WILD ROSES

  AN HOUR LATER, I was standing in front of a dizzying array of baby shit. I didn’t understand how the fuck there could be so many different types of car seats. How the fuck was one significantly different to the others? All they needed to do was keep Phoebe safe, what the fuck else mattered?

  I was in a big, faceless chain department store so there weren’t even any ready assistants around that I could ask.

  Each of the seats seemed to have weight ratings on them but how the fuck was I supposed to know what Phoebe weighed? She was little, that was all I knew. I looked around to find assistance, but the best I could do was ask at the CD counter. Which was unattended. Hoping someone might be in the little back room there, I rang the bell for help.

  Not long after, a ghost from my past walked out to meet me. His dark hair was cropped short, and his once rake-thin body had expanded, but he was easily recognisable.

  “Declan Reede!” Ben called in surprise.

  There had been a time he’d been my best male friend, but I hadn’t spoken to him since I moved to Sydney.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Ben! Fuck, man, it’s been too long.”

  “Yeah? Well, you knew where I was.” His words were clipped. After the initial surprise of seeing me had worn off, he’d obviously decided he was going to aim for pissed off.

  “True, bud. Sorry. It’s been brought to my attention recently that I was an arse for the way I left.”

  “Just a bit.” He dropped his voice. “You know about Alyssa, right?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Do you speak to her much?”

  “Jade tried for a while, but Alyssa sort of froze everyone out as much as you did. I think it was because of the gossip. Arses like Blake Cooper and that bitch, Darcy. They made sure Alyssa’s life was a living hell as soon as they learned she was pregnant. Of course none of them knew who the father was. The truth is most of them are still too stupid to realise.”

  “Of course, that means you know then?” I asked, to confirm my suspicion. “Because you and Jade were never stupid.”

  He shrugged. “Wasn’t hard to figure it out, I mean we knew your plans. Then you’re gone and Alyssa’s pregnant.”

  He started to look a bit annoyed, as if he might take a swing at me. Then I realised what he probably assumed. It would have looked like I was avoiding them all to ignore my responsibilities.

  “I—I didn’t know.” My admission was barely a whisper. I was still ashamed that the reason I didn’t know was my own damned refusal to pick up the fucking phone.

  “Serious?”

  “Serious, man. I, well, I was a bit of a dick to Alyssa when she tried to contact me after I moved to Sydney.” My voice faltered as the thoughts flitted through my mind. I shook it off as I remembered my mission. “But that’s in the past now. Do you know anything about fucking car seats? I need to get one.”

  He raised his eyebrow at me. “It’s like t
hat, is it?”

  “Hopefully.” A small grin crossed my lips as I allowed myself to admit to the growing excitement about the date with Alyssa and Phoebe.

  “Sure, I know a bit,” he said. “Give me a sec to get someone to cover me here and I’ll help you out.”

  “Thanks. Oh, and I really am sorry for the way I left. But I’m home now, and I’m trying to fix my fuck-ups. All of my fuck-ups.”

  “It just took hitting half a dozen walls to knock some sense into you, hey?” He laughed as he walked into the back room. He emerged a few minutes later wearing a normal t-shirt rather than the uniform he was just in.

  “I’m going to have lunch while I’ve got cover,” he said in response to my quizzical look.

  “Oh shit, don’t let me take up your lunch hour.”

  “You won’t. It’ll take five minutes to get this seat. I assume you want one designed for a toddler?”

  “You fucking know me too well.” I laughed.

  “I used to,” he said sadly. It was man code for, “I missed you.”

  “Yeah.” Which was man code for, “me too.” “Hey, why don’t I shout you lunch for helping me out?”

  He shrugged. “I won’t say no.”

  It wasn’t long before he’d selected the “perfect” seat and we were at the counter paying for it. I tried to quiz him on why it was the right one and he gave me a stack of shit about anti-submarining straps, adjustable height, head support, seat-belt slots. I understood most of it in theory, but in terms of a fucking baby seat I had no idea. About the only thing I understood was that it had cup holders. Cup holders were good. Not that anyone would be allowed to eat or drink in my Monaro when I got her back.

  We took the seat back to the car because there was no way in hell I was carrying a box that size all the way around the Grand Plaza. When the indicators flashed on the red five-door Barina hatch, Ben turned to me with a questioning look.

  “Just don’t say shit about it, okay?” I said.

  He raised his hands in surrender. “I won’t say a word. It’s just not what I pictured you in.” He smirked.

  “Fuck off, it’s a hire car. Mine’s getting repaired.”

  “Are you crashing off the track now too?”

  “Fuck you,” I said, but the grin on my face let him know I wasn’t serious.

  As it turned out, Ben was a fucking champion and even installed the seat into the car for me. I definitely owed him a fucking meal for his help.

  We went back into the centre and grabbed our old favourite, roast beef rolls, from the food court. I was surprised by just how easily we fell back into conversation. For a little while, we reminisced about high school and then I filled him in a little on what I’d been up to. Before long, I was bored with me and was much more interested in what he’d been up to.

  “Well, I married Jade. We’ve got two little ones.”

  “Really? How old?” Even as the words left me, I wondered at what point exactly I stamped the daddy card and started asking questions like that. Usually my response to, “I’ve got kids,” was, “Do I look like I fucking care?” but just then, I did care. I was genuinely interested. Which even surprised me.

  “Two and a half, and eleven months.”

  “So that’s why you’re a genius when it comes to car seats?” I laughed.

  He grinned at me. “Yeah, well, I had to do a hell of a lot of research. Jade dragged me around to a stack of shops before we settled on the seat that you’ve got for our oldest.”

  For a moment, I stood back and assessed my old friend. It had been a few years, and despite the physical differences, in my mind he’d still remained unchanged. Standing in front of me though, was a young man miles away from the teenager I’d left behind. “Wow. Married with kids.”

  “Well, you’ve got one yourself.”

  I shrugged. I wasn’t going to go into the full details about why I wasn’t on the birth certificate. Why she wasn’t legally seen as my daughter. Or why I didn’t feel like I deserved to be her dad yet.

  “So what brought you back up to Brissie anyway?”

  “Actually, Alyssa did. I went to London to get away for a bit and kinda ended up on a plane beside her.”

  He laughed. “So you tried to run away but fate had other plans?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Wow. I still can’t believe you’re here in front of me, man. I guess I should get your autograph or something while I got this chance.”

  “How about my phone number instead?”

  He laughed.

  “I’m serious, man. I told you I’m trying to make up for my mistakes. Losing contact with my friends is one of them. Maybe I can even bring Lys around one day.”

  “I’m sure Jade would love that. I know she’s missed Alyssa, and we heard that Alyssa was leaving soon so it’d be nice to patch things up before then.”

  “Oh, Lys isn’t going to London anymore. She didn’t want to be that far away from her family, so she’s staying.”

  Ben shook his head. “No, she’s not. She’s definitely leaving. Jade works for the real estate that Alyssa rents from. The day before yesterday she was in to discuss finalising the lease and talked about how hard it would be to leave. Jade was real upset when she came home.”

  “The day before yesterday?” I whispered.

  Alyssa was leaving? Had she lied to me when she said she wasn’t going to London? My mouth was dry and my heart began to thud in my chest. I was going to have a panic attack, I just knew it. I needed to get away from prying eyes before it could hit. Rumours of panic attacks could kill my career just as completely as crashing into walls.

  “Um, Ben, I’m sure you’re probably due back at work and I’ve gotta go.” I quickly rattled off my phone number and he programmed it into his phone.

  I almost ran through the centre back toward the car. As soon as I arrived I climbed into the driver’s seat and tried to breathe. I turned on some music and tried to concentrate on the rhythm. My eyes hit the car seat in the rear-view mirror and I felt my heart rip in two. Alyssa was leaving Brisbane and wasn’t going to tell me. Worse, there was no legal way I could stop her from taking Phoebe out of my life.

  Fuck that!

  I picked up my phone and rang my lawyer. After a fifteen minute conversation, I discovered I could go to court and contest the paternity to prove Phoebe was mine. The only problem was it would mean a potentially public battle with Alyssa. My lawyer also advised me that I would be liable for child support going back to Phoebe’s birth, but I didn’t give a shit about that. If I’d known sooner, I was positive I would have helped Alyssa out more. Although it worried me to think what would have happened if I’d found out about Alyssa’s pregnancy during my worst three months.

  As I hung up the phone, I decided I would wait Alyssa out. I would see if she’d come clean to me and tell me what the fuck was happening. Why was she discussing getting out of her lease as recently as two days earlier if she wasn’t leaving? And if she was, why would she have told me she wasn’t taking the London position? Was it just to stave off my panic attack?

  I took a deep breath and started the car before remembering another item on my to-do list: something to keep Phoebe entertained.

  For a moment, I considered going back into the shops, but I still felt the signs of an impending attack and I couldn’t risk one of those in public. Not with my reputation already hanging by a thread. I breathed out and put the car in reverse. I would just have to deal with it. Whatever happened, I would just have to cope.

  The thought struck me that I should probably find a doctor or something, but the pain in my ribs wasn’t getting worse and the new bruises were no worse than the old ones. Until something happened to change that, the injuries could wait and just heal on their own. Why get shit on permanent record if it might affect my chances of getting to drive again soon?

  As I drove, I saw a sign for a shop I would never have considered entering before but once I’d seen it, an impulse built in me
. The sign across the door of a small shop front read Wild Roses Tattoo.

  It was all too easy to recall the small dark markings on Alyssa’s skin that symbolised our children, and I wanted something too. I needed to commemorate my son. Wanted to celebrate my daughter. Especially if she was going to be torn from my life too.

  The thought cemented my plan and I slammed on the brakes so hard that a white Nissan X-Trail almost went up my arse. Ignoring the almost carnage around me, I turned into the car park for the small set of shops. When the X-Trail followed, I thought I was going to have some issues.

  Great. Just what I fucking need.

  Parking the little red Barina, I climbed out and waited for a confrontation with the other driver, but the doors didn’t open. The windows were too heavily tinted to see inside, but the fact that no one climbed out of the car made me think maybe it was a coincidence. Shrugging it off, I found my way back to the shop. When I was inside, I glanced around at the artwork-covered walls and nodded to the woman behind the counter. I was thankful not to recognise anyone. Of course, that didn’t mean they didn’t recognise me.

  “How can we help you today?” the receptionist greeted me. She was tall and lean, with spiked black hair, a piercing in her nose, and a full sleeve of tattoos up one arm. I thought it was safe to assume she was more into bikes than V8s, but even if I was wrong, it didn’t show in her eyes if she did recognise me.

  “Um, I was thinking about getting a tattoo done.”

  “Okay, have you got a design in mind?”

  “Not really.” Fuck, I hadn’t thought this through.

  “Well, you can have a look through our books if you like.” She pointed out a stack of ring binders. I flicked the first one open and saw that it was filled with print-outs of various tatts.

  “Have you done any horses?” I remembered the engraving from Emmanuel’s tombstone. I didn’t know what the significance of the horses was, but I knew they were important.

  “Any particular style?”

  “Style?” Fuck, I was so far out of my depth it wasn’t even funny.