Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series)

by Michelle Irwin

  I grabbed a can of Coke from the fridge—not that I particularly wanted anything, but a purchase gave me a reason to speak to Alyssa for a few minutes. Unfortunately, Alyssa seemed to be serving a little old lady who did her entire week’s shopping at the shithole little store and it was taking forever. Instead of going to the other cashier, I let a handful of people cut in front of me. Finally, the old biddy finished and I practically ran to place my item in front of Alyssa.

  “What’re you doing here?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “I had to see you.”

  “But you’re seeing me tomorrow.”

  “I couldn’t imagine waiting until then to see you.”

  She smiled. The sight of it made my mouth dry and my stomach clench with anticipation. “I’m at work. I can’t exactly stop and talk to you.”

  “I know.” I brushed a loose strand of hair off her face, tucking it back up into her ponytail. “But I had to see you anyway.”

  She blushed bright red as she slipped back into professional clerk mode and gave me the total.

  I handed her some coins, ensuring that my hand brushed along hers as I let go of them.

  “I’ll be there early tomorrow. I checked with Mum and she’s still good to look after Phoebe.”

  “Sounds good, Dec. I’ll see you then.”

  “Bye, Lys.”

  After I’d left the shop, I held on to the picture of her smile and drove toward the airport.

  FORTY MINUTES later, I was standing in the airport, cap and sunglasses on, trying to avoid the glares and glances of the passers-by as they realised who I was. I wished I could just meld into the wall and be ignored like the rest of the faceless masses. Instead, I was reminded once more that I couldn’t just be anonymous.

  A squealing from the baggage carousels pulled me from my thoughts. “Declan!”

  I looked up and smiled when I saw Eden bouncing toward me. She dragged her bag as she ran toward me. At the last second, she dropped it and launched herself into my arms. Her legs came around my waist as she gave me her patented full-body hug. When you were around her as much as I was you got used to them quickly. I gritted my teeth as her legs brushed against the bruises on my ribs.

  I dropped her as quickly as I could before pressing my hand against my ribs.

  “Oh shit, Dec, I’m sorry.” She sounded genuinely contrite, but then a second later her enthusiasm had returned in force. “You ready to go?”

  She bounded off in the direction of the car park. With a sigh, I moved to collect her abandoned baggage. I shook my head as I picked it up. Morgan had spoiled her. She expected all men to bend over backwards for her like he did. I didn’t even think she fucking realised what she was doing.

  I caught up with her quickly. “Did you have a good flight?” I asked.

  She stepped into the sun and cast her face up to the sky. “Yes, but I’m so glad to be off. I hate planes.”

  “You never seem to complain when we fly around for racing.”

  “That’s different.”

  “Why? ’Cause Morgie-worgie’s there to protect you?” I teased.

  “Protect . . . have hot sex in the airplane toilet—whichever one you want to go with.” She said it so casually and without an ounce of embarrassment. That was the thing about Eden, hanging around so many men meant she could talk trash like the best of us. Very little embarrassed her anymore.

  I curled up my nose. “Edie, that is way too much information. You know you’re like a sister to me, and I do not want to think of my sister having sex.”

  She laughed and then shrugged. “As if you don’t know what we do anyway. I know Morgan pretty much shares everything with you. You tell him your conquests, he tells you his.”

  She turned on me and walked backward. “Speaking of which . . .” She raised her eyebrow in an expectant way.

  I knew it. She’d flown to Brisbane just to get the goss on Alyssa. “There’s nothing to tell, Edie. Really.”

  “If you say so,” she said. I wasn’t stupid enough to think the topic was going to be dropped.

  “So where to then?” I asked.

  “The Suncrest Hotel first. Then I’ve got plans for us.”

  I laughed. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

  “Because we’re friends, and you know me too well. Just like I know you.” She cast me a meaningful look as I put her suitcase in the boot. She opened the passenger door and climbed in.

  When I climbed in the driver’s seat, I saw her casting a long glance back at the child seat in the back.

  “Well, that’s a change,” she said, turning back to the front again as I started the car.

  I remained silent. What could I say?

  We drove for about five minutes before she spoke again. It was the longest Eden had ever been silent in my company.

  “Is it a change for the better?” she almost whispered.

  I didn’t look at her as I nodded. “Yeah, I think it is.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN: A NIGHT OUT

  AFTER TWENTY MINUTES, I pulled into the car park that had been the scene of my panic attack just the day before. Although my heart started to race a little, I managed to contain myself by putting on my poker face and taking a few calming breaths. I might have been friends with Eden, but we weren’t close enough that I’d allow her to see me that fragile. After all, I still had an image to protect around Sinclair Racing. As it was, my reputation was going to take a hit with the daddy card, but I didn’t really give a shit about that. That didn’t mean I wanted to be seen as a complete fucking pussy though. Father and pussy-whipped partner, fine. Freaking out in a random car park, not so much.

  It was too much to hope that Eden wouldn’t notice the slight pause I’d taken before driving into the car park, though.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked as soon as the car was stopped.

  I feigned innocence “What do you mean?”

  “I know you well enough to know when something is wrong. It’s just you and me here now. No Morgan, no team, no family. Just two friends. What’s wrong?” She placed her hand on my knee in a calming gesture.

  I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the headrest. “I’m fine.”

  “No really, Dec. Tell me.”

  “No really, Edie. I’m fine.”

  Not wanting to let her push the issue, I shoved open the car door and climbed out. Without stopping, I headed straight to the back of the car to get her suitcase and my bag out of the boot.

  Eden was just a few steps behind me when I reached the call buttons for the elevators. She didn’t ask whether I was okay again, so I hoped she was willing to drop it.

  The silence was stifling as we rode up to the hotel. When the elevator doors opened, I stood back and waited with the bags while Eden went to the counter and checked in to her room. Swallowing down, I looked around. The familiarity of the hotel put me on edge. All of the memories of my night with Alyssa, and the consequences that followed, flooded into me. I paced in front of the bags as emotions coursed through my body unchecked.

  The concierge from the previous day was on again and he gave me a small, polite wave as I continued to pace. I nodded and gave him a small smile in reply. It was a much-needed reminder of the plans I’d set into action and my smile naturally curled my lips at the thought. It didn’t completely dispel the discomfort of being in the one place that held so many memories, but it did give me something else to focus on.

  “So, tell me all about Alyssa,” Eden demanded as she led me to the elevators up to the guest rooms.

  My smile grew more natural. My cheeks ached from the shit-eating grin as I thought about Alyssa. “She’s fucking great, Eden. I mean, she’s smart, and beautiful, and just fucking . . .” I couldn’t find adequate words. “She’s perfect.”

  Eden looked at me with unconcealed shock as she reached for the elevator call button. “Wow.”

  I furrowed my brow at her. “What?”

  “Well, I just . . . I never realised just how much
you actually cared for this girl.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s written over every part of your face, and in every movement you make. You’ve got it so bad for her.”

  I rubbed my hand along the back of my neck. “Yeah, I think I do. I, uh, I think I always have.”

  The elevator arrived and the doors opened. We stepped in and Eden leaned against the silver bar that circled the mirrored walls.

  Looking at my reflection brought back memories of the ride I’d had to leave the hotel room after Alyssa had stormed out the morning after our night together. My smile fell into a frown as the recollections haunted me. So many mistakes. So much heartache. My fists clenched at my sides as Eden’s mouth began to run.

  “Good. I’m glad it’s working out. It’s funny, ’cause I always knew someone out there was the right girl for you. The way Kelly spoke about your relationship with Alyssa, well, it all sounded so out of character for the Declan Reede I knew. Part of me always wondered if maybe she was telling stories, or was mistaken in just how much you cared about each other. But I don’t know, I guess I couldn’t help but wonder whether maybe you were still pining for Alyssa.”

  The walls of the elevator felt like they were closing in on me, forcing all the guilt I felt over everything that had happened since I’d left for Sydney came rushing in on me.

  Eden continued to babble and I tuned her out as best as I could. She could talk under wet cement when she went on one of her tangents. Obviously my love life was one of those tangents. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you two are making a go of it. And God, your daughter! You’ll have to tell me all about her too. I was so worried when you were sent to London. Honestly, I wondered if you would actually come back. I thought Danny’s plan—”

  She stopped talking, which drew my attention to her last words. Her face drained of all colour as I tilted my head trying to process the last words she had said. I thought Danny’s plan . . .

  “Danny’s plan?” I asked as my heart sank to my toes. “About putting you in the new car. It’s great, isn’t it?” Eden said quickly—too eagerly for it to be the truth. Not to mention it didn’t make sense in the context she’d used the words.

  “Don’t even try that, Edie!”

  She gave me a sideways glance. “Are you okay?”

  “That depends,” I said, trying to remain as calm as I could despite the bile rising in my throat and the painful thudding of my heart against my ribcage. “What the fuck was Danny’s plan?”

  “I really shouldn’t be telling you this.”

  “Eden,” my voice held a warning, “I thought we were friends?”

  “Of course we are.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Then why not tell me all about this lovely plan of Danny’s.” I tried, and failed, to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

  She sighed. “Don’t you think it was a huge coincidence that you ended up next to Alyssa on that flight? For the second leg too? Like a mega, huge fucking coincidence? The sort that doesn’t ever really happen in real life?”

  Feeling like the wind had been forcibly knocked out of me, I stepped back until I fell against the back wall of the elevator.

  “Are you . . .” I couldn’t find enough breath to talk.

  Eden’s next words confirmed the horror that was running through my head. “Danny arranged it, Dec. He found out about Alyssa’s job offer with Pembletons and her trial in the London office. He just tweaked a few of the arrangements so that you ended up next to her on the way.”

  “Why?”

  “Are you kidding me? There isn’t a single person on the team who couldn’t pinpoint the fact that your career was fucking flying high until one race meet, near your home town. Then all of a sudden, you couldn’t even finish a race. It wasn’t hard to connect the dots. Especially not with what your mother had told me.”

  I turned and grabbed the railing for support, dropping my head between my arms. Eden’s hand rubbed my lower back in comfort. The walls were definitely getting closer, and the ceiling too. I was boxed in with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide from the truth. “I’m sorry, Dec. If I’d known about your daughter, if Danny had, we probably would have tried something different.”

  “Why?” I repeated. My brain was having trouble processing exactly what she was saying.

  “Danny thought that maybe if you could see Alyssa again, it might help. That if you could be forced by proximity to speak to her, it would help you get past whatever was causing the crashes. With the amount of money you cost him in repairs last year, can you really blame him for trying anything? A few plane tickets were a drop in the ocean compared with a complete rebuild every race.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. “How did he know about Alyssa’s offer though?”

  She smiled sadly at me. “You haven’t looked at your employment contract lately, have you?”

  I didn’t understand what she was asking.

  “Pembletons is the firm that represents Sinclair Racing. Danny was in the offices when Alyssa was in for her week trial in Sydney. Apparently, Alyssa’s mood fell after she saw him. When Andrew Kent spoke to Alyssa about it, she admitted to knowing you and told him a very condensed version of your history. When Andrew raised it with Danny, telling him how small a world it was, Danny put two and two together.”

  “Why?” I asked. My voice was without volume and I wasn’t even sure I expected an answer.

  Everything that had happened over the last two weeks, meeting Alyssa again, London, Phoebe, everything. It was all because Danny couldn’t keep his fucking nose out of my fucking business. Because he had to play puppet master to everyone. He’d done it so often in the past, with so many little things. It was a big part of the driving force behind the team’s success on the track. But what right did he have to interfere with my personal life? What right did he have to play with Alyssa and me like we were pawns in some sick game of chess?

  My blood boiled, and my breath grew short. Images of everything that happened played over and over in my head. It burst from me in a rush and I slammed my fist into my reflection in the mirror. The glass cracked under my fingers with a dull thud. I leapt away, my heart racing and my hand sore.

  “Why?” I screamed, turning to face Eden. My face was contorted into a mask of hatred, displaying the anger that burned inside me to the rest of the world. “What gave him that right?”

  Eden cowered away from me. I’d never once seen her scared of me. Even when I was at my lowest and she’d confronted me about it, she hadn’t been scared. The terror in her eyes reflected the betrayal I felt in my heart. The last two weeks, the fucking hurt, the pain, the secrets and fucking lies. All of it was because fucking Danny thought he knew better than everyone else.

  Arsehole!

  The elevator dinged, signalling we were at our floor and Eden composed herself.

  “Come on, Dec,” she whispered as she guided me away from the wall. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Then we can go out and talk.” She picked up her suitcase and grabbed my hand as I followed her out of the elevator.

  She swiped the card to unlock the hotel room. I hadn’t stayed in one of these rooms—especially not in this hotel—since my night with Alyssa, and I was shocked to find they hadn’t changed much at all. Practically everything was exactly the same as it had been four years ago. Even the shitty lamps on the bedside tables were the fucking same. It was all too much.

  Pulling free of Eden’s grip, I headed straight for the bathroom. The instant I was through the door, I slammed it shut behind me and twisted the lock. Then I raced to the toilet and lost the contents of my stomach. Over and over, I threw up until I was dry retching. When my stomach finally gave up trying to purge the anger from my body, I retreated to the door and pressed my back against it.

  As I sat, staring at nothing and seeing only Alyssa, one question ran in a loop around my head.

  Why?

  A few minutes later I felt the door vibrate behind me rather than hearing the kno
ck.

  “Declan?” Eden’s soft voice floated in through the door. I expected to hear revulsion or disgust in her voice, but instead there was just sadness and worry. “Can I come in? Or will you please come out?”

  After another couple of breaths, I stood to gather my thoughts. I splashed my face with some cold water, rinsed out my mouth, and rubbed my hand along the back of my neck. Then I adjusted my shirt, as being pressed against the door had irritated the fresh tattoo on my back. The permanent reminder of my children. Children I may never have known about if it weren’t for Danny’s misguided plan.

  If I really thought about it, I knew he was just trying to help me in his own way—albeit as a puppeteer with a fucking shitload of tangled strings. Strings he hadn’t known existed. Without his interference, I’d still be in the dark and still wouldn’t know about Phoebe. It was that thought that made me see I should probably find a way to thank him.

  I flicked the lock on the door and looked Eden up and down. Her whole body was frozen with anticipation. She didn’t know what to expect. Neither did I.

  Trying to show that I’d be calm, I moved closer to her. “I think we should sit,” I said.

  She nodded, clearly not daring to speak.

  “Want some fresh air?” I asked, pointing to the small balcony that came off the room and overlooked the city.

  Eden nodded again and I indicated for her to go first. As soon as she hit the balcony she sat and perched on one of the chairs.

  “Declan . . .”

  I held up my hand to cut her off. “Edie, I want to tell you something. I just don’t know how to start.”

  I was going to be as honest as I could with her. At some point between unlocking the door and arriving on the balcony, I’d decided I would take her on as a true confidante for perhaps the first time ever. We both seemed to recognise that a major shift in our relationship had just started. Eden had gone from a teammate with whom I hung out regularly, to a true friend with whom I was willing to share my darkest secrets. One of very few.