“Just get in the fucking car!” Ruby snapped.
This is for Alyssa, I thought as I climbed into the passenger seat. I hadn’t even reached for my seat belt when Ruby accelerated hard down the road.
“What do you—” I started to ask, but Ruby cut me off with a glare and a raised palm.
I sat in the passenger seat and stewed. The way Ruby had treated me was ridiculous. The fucking bitch hadn’t even spoken since telling me to get in the car. Ten minutes later, we were pulling up to a park overlooking the usually muddy-brown Brisbane River. The water shimmered black in the night. Once the engine was off, Ruby climbed out of the car and walked to the railing without another word or backwards glance.
I lost my patience as I followed her. “Ruby, what the fuck do you want?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” she seethed as she spun on me.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What are you fucking talking about?”
“What do you want from Alyssa?”
“How is it your business?”
“Alyssa is my sister. That makes it my business.”
“Fuck! Alyssa must be everyone’s fucking business. Seriously. Why can’t she be her own business?”
“We care about her and want to make sure she’s getting what she needs.”
“Well, I’m so fucking happy that everyone else has figured out what the fuck they think she needs. But what about what she thinks she needs? What about what she wants? What about what I want? Where is her fucking privacy in all of this? Or mine for that matter?”
Ruby’s blonde hair fanned out behind her in the wind as she closed the distance between us. “You don’t deserve shit”—she emphasised her point by poking my chest—“not after everything Alyssa’s been through in the past four years.”
“You’re right, I don’t deserve shit!” I shouted back. “I definitely don’t deserve someone as pure and fucking fantastic as Alyssa. But she wants to give me one more chance, and you know what? I’m selfish enough to let that happen.”
“Of course she wants to fucking give you another chance. She’s never been able to let you go. But fuck, Declan, what do you think it’s going to do to her when you leave again? You take her out, sweep her up in the romance of it all, and promise her all these things. It’s going to crush her when you go again and we’ll be the ones who have to pick up the fucking pieces.”
I crossed my arms. “The answer to that is simple. I’m not leaving. I’ll never be able to leave her again. I love her.”
She scoffed. “If that’s how you really felt, well, you wouldn’t have left in the first place, would you?”
“I left because I felt like that, because I felt . . . fuck it! I don’t need to explain myself to you.”
She shrugged. “Maybe you think you feel that way, but I don’t think you know what love is.”
I was going to interrupt her and tell her to fuck off, that she didn’t know how I felt, but she held up her palm again and raised her voice as she continued.
“Regardless, I just want to give you a piece of friendly advice. Me to you, so to speak. If you hurt Alyssa in any way, then you’ll have to answer to me.” She raised her eyebrow before grabbing my shirt and pulling me in close, her lips practically brushing the side of my ear as she continued. “If you take Alyssa out on whatever date you have planned for tomorrow and build her hopes up, just to crush them, then I will personally ensure that you feel every ounce of pain you cause her.”
Holding my hands up in surrender, I backed away. I’d been worried about an ambush by Josh, but I’d clearly been worried about the wrong person. Ruby was one fucking scary bitch. When she released me, she started to head back to the car. Did she really think she could say that shit and then just walk away? There was no way I would let her have the final word. Not like that. I grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.
“You’ve had your say, now I’m having mine.”
The soft light coming from the CBD across the river lit her features so I could see every minor detail. She raised her eyebrow at me, as if shocked that I would dare speak back to her.
I didn’t allow her to interrupt. “I fucked up. I know it—you know it—the entire fucking world knows it. But I’m here to right my wrongs. I’m here because I fucking love Alyssa. I love her. I fucking adore every inch of her with every fibre of my being. I refuse to let anything stand between the two of us anymore. It’s bad enough that I have to prove to her that I love her and that I’m not going to hurt her again. I refuse to be forced to explain it constantly to the rest of the world as well. That’s between her and me.”
Ruby’s face was a mask of incredulity, her lips twisted into a snarl as if more poisonous words were poised right behind her red lipstick.
Before she had a chance to speak, I continued. “Respectfully, you and the rest of her family, the rest of the fucking world in fact, can kindly fuck off and leave us be until we’ve sorted ourselves out.”
For a few long seconds, she looked at me without saying anything. Then she laughed.
“Well, fuck!” she said. “You’ve certainly grown some balls. Do you mean it though? That you love her? That’s the part I am finding hard to believe. You walked away from her so easily.”
I laughed without mirth, the sound harsh and out of place in my throat. “You have no idea what I went through to walk away from her.”
“So enlighten me.” She walked back over toward me, but gracefully slid past me and stood near the railing.
“Why?”
“’Cause I can be your ally or your enemy. The choice is yours.” She climbed up onto the railing, perching herself on top, and looked at me expectantly.
“What’s the difference?”
“The difference is whether I tell the rest of the family to back off or close ranks.”
“Like I give a shit. I told you, the only one who can get rid of me now is Alyssa. I’m here until she orders me away.”
“Like that will ever happen,” she mumbled under her breath. “Still, you have to admit the path will be smoother if Josh isn’t blocking you. Or Dad.”
I thought about it for a second. Killer Curtis on my side. Josh staying the fuck away and not threatening me with violence. I had to admit it sounded easier. Climbing onto the railing next to Ruby, I sighed. I turned my body to face the river so that I didn’t have to look at her while I spoke.
“I don’t owe you explanations,” I whispered. “But it would be nice if you leave us alone for a little while. For Alyssa’s sake.”
“Bullshit you don’t need to explain.” Ruby turned around to face the river as well.
“I didn’t say I don’t need to explain. I said that I didn’t owe you explanations. I owe them to Alyssa.”
She turned to me. Her expression was softer than I’d ever seen it before. She seemed to consider me for a minute before turning away again. I didn’t know what she was seeing, but her eyes were focused on a spot in the distance. All I could see were a few small boats with flashing lights to indicate their location. “I never thought I’d see you so . . . grown up. You were always so fucking cocky. Nothing and no one could touch you. And then everything I saw on TV and in the magazines only convinced me that you were a bigger arse than ever.”
I stayed silent. My eyes trailed to the spot she found so interesting, but I still saw nothing.
“I know a thing or two about people making mistakes when they’re young.” I got the feeling she wasn’t talking about me anymore—not really. “Mum was young when she had me, and I’ve never even met my father. Fucking bastard ran out the minute she found out she was pregnant. I guess if someone were man enough to try to correct a mistake . . .” her voice trailed off.
I looked closely at her face, seeing the tears that were moistening her eyes, but I knew would never fall. She probably wouldn’t even acknowledge they were there. I was at a complete fucking loss about what to do. We were having a heart to heart that I hadn’t expected to have. Wat
ching her eyes glisten in the soft glow, I debated my action for a second but then put my arm around her shoulder to offer her some comfort.
My touch seemed to rouse her from her thoughts. She pulled away from me, quickly climbing back over the railing and backing away. “What the hell do you think you are doing?”
I followed her over the guardrail and stared blankly at her. “I fucking thought we were having a moment.”
She sighed. “I came to deliver a message.” She seemed to consider what happened for a second then turned on her heel and headed back to her car. “Message delivered.”
She climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car. When the car started to edge forward, I was sure she was going to just drive off and leave me there in the middle of fucking nowhere.
An exasperated sigh issued from her open window. “You coming or not?”
I ran to the car, confused and trying to process what happened. Something fundamental had shifted in the world. Then one key thing Ruby had said hit me. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it earlier.
She’s never been able to let you go.
The statement lit my face up with a smile even as it broke my fucking heart. After I’d walked back to the hotel, and settled back onto the couch, I didn’t sleep much. My mind was too busy ticking over with everything Ruby had said. Even when I was finally able to shove that out of my mind, I was too excited and nervous about my date with Alyssa. I was so wound up thinking about it—about her—that I couldn’t find comfort.
In the end, the only way I could get some relief was to stop trying not to think about Alyssa. Instead, I let her invade every part of my conscious mind. Without much thought, my hand worked its way down my body, and I was soon stroking my length as visions of Alyssa danced in my head. Her face, her smile, even the scent of her coconut skin cream—every part of her drew me in and held me captive. Better yet, there were only a few short hours before I would see her again.
That was the thought that sent me tumbling over the edge. With a barely stifled moan, I came across my hand and stomach. After relaxing back, and allowing the peace that invaded my mind to take over for a few moments, I cleaned up quickly before falling into a few short hours of peaceful sleep where Alyssa was wrapped in my arms.
I woke to a high-pitched voice “singing” in the shower. After taking in my surroundings and seeing I was still in the hotel, it struck me what the noise was. It was a good thing I’d never had any interest in Eden; her voice alone would send me packing. I was still laughing about it when she emerged from the bedroom, dressed and towel-drying her hair.
“What?” she asked with a smirk.
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Tell me.” She pouted.
“No way, I value my manhood and everything that goes along with it too much.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, then quirked her eyebrow. “Speaking of your manhood and everything that goes with it . . . you might wanna put the car back in the garage.” She nodded her chin in my direction and then started laughing as she began to throw her belongings back into her suitcase.
Glancing down, I saw what she meant. My prominent morning wood was hidden only by my boxers—and barely hidden at that. My pants hung low on my hips with my zipper wide open.
Tucking myself back into my pants, I did up my zipper before dragging myself off the couch. It was only when I stood that I felt the effects of my night of drinking. A headache pounded just behind my eyes and my mouth tasted like arse.
The last thing I needed before my big date was a hangover. Worse, butterflies were doing loop-the-loops in my stomach making me feel nauseous. I put it down to an empty stomach after a long night of drinking. Coffee, food, and a few painkillers would hopefully make it a little better. If not, being with Alyssa again would definitely help.
At the thought of Alyssa, the butterflies turned into dive-bombers, smashing against the walls of my stomach. It was as if I was nervous about seeing her again, but that couldn’t be the case. What I had planned for the day was perfect, wasn’t it? I was going to be back in my element, albeit with Alyssa by my side, but that only made it better. If nothing else, I was going to show her my world—my life. That thought had me floating into the bathroom with a change of clothes. I needed to shower and shave before our date.
An hour later, I pulled in to the airport to drop Eden off. I offered to escort her all the way through to check-in but she argued with me, telling me in no uncertain terms that she was a big girl and there was no point in keeping Alyssa waiting. She pecked my cheek and wished me luck as she climbed out of the car.
Before I drove off, I glanced at Eden waving at me in my rear-view mirror with a knowing smile on her face.
When I stopped for a quick bite to eat on the way back to Browns Plains, I popped a couple of paracetamol to shake the remnants of the pounding headache from a night on the daiquiris.
As I closed the distance to Alyssa’s house, my hands started to shake and I had to grip the steering wheel tighter to stop the quivers. It was ridiculous how nervous I was. It was only Alyssa after all, but then again . . . it was Alyssa. With everything else that had happened, it felt like the date was a last chance attempt to be together. If I fucked up, she would be lost.
When I pulled up in front of her house, I saw the curtain ruffle. By the time I turned off the car, she was already locking the door, with Phoebe standing beside her. Both of them were smiling broadly. Clearly they’d been waiting for me. I checked the clock to confirm I wasn’t running late.
I wasn’t.
Without even stopping to think about my actions, or whether it was a good idea, I ran from the car and pulled Alyssa tightly into my arms. It felt like I hadn’t seen her in a week, even though it had only been a day. I placed one hand behind her head and buried my face in her neck, breathing deeply, before turning my face and kissing her softly on the cheek.
“I missed you,” I whispered against her skin. Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath. I could see her mouth turning up into a smile. After I knew she was happy, I knelt down beside her, and turned my attention to Phoebe.
“Hey, Pheebs,” I said quietly. Her eyes met and held mine as she gave a small grin.
“Declan!” she squealed, throwing her arms around my neck and surprising me. “I’m going to see Aunty Kelly today.”
I gave Alyssa a quizzical look. “Aunty?” I mouthed.
Alyssa shrugged and glanced at Phoebe. I guessed it meant she wasn’t willing to say more while Phoebe was around.
“Do you like Aunty Kelly?” I asked.
Phoebe nodded and her ponytails bounced in time with her enthusiasm.
“That’s good, ’cause I have it on good authority that she’s very excited about spending time with you.” I stood back up. “You both ready to go?”
Alyssa seemed anxious, but they both nodded. I indicated my car and Phoebe ran over to it and smiled at me.
“Do you like my car?” I asked her, because she’d only been in the tiny Barina the last time I was with her.
“Yes!” Her eyes lit up.
“Well, hop in. We’ll go for a quick spin before we go to Aunty Kelly.”
I helped her into the backseat and then stepped back so Alyssa could do up the child seat, granting me exactly the view I’d fantasised about before I’d taken them on the date to Maccas. It was everything I’d imagined it would be, but with my sweaty palms and dry mouth, I couldn’t really enjoy it as much as I’d thought I might.
Alyssa climbed into the passenger side and gave me a small, nervous smile as she put her seat belt on. I leaned over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, giving her what I hoped was a calming look. The flutters in my stomach had gone from loop-the-loops to full aerial acrobatics, including death-dives and barrel-rolls.
For a few minutes, I drove around the local streets. Each time we reached a set of lights, I took off hard, mostly because it elicited a round of giggles from Phoebe. After a ten minute joyride, I
pulled up at Mum’s and waited beside the car while Alyssa helped Phoebe out.
With a wide smile firmly in place, Mum opened the door almost the same second I finished knocking. Phoebe dashed into her arms, and they gave each other a hug. I was amazed to see the relationship they had despite the struggle of having to dance around my mistakes and my fuckwit father. Mum whispered to me that the box I needed was in my room.
I left the three of them to say their hellos as I walked down the hall to grab the box Danny had sent. Other than the few dents, holes and scratches in the walls, the room was completely straightened and it was impossible to tell the extent of damage I’d caused in my rage. Making a mental note to thank Mum later, I took the box out to the car, ignoring the strange glances from Alyssa as I passed.
“You ready to get going?” I asked her when I returned to the house.
She took a deep breath before swallowing audibly. After a moment, she nodded. She seemed to recognise, like I did, that today was pivotal for our relationship. I hoped after today we could stop the pussyfooting bullshit and just be together. We needed to decide whether we were going to have a relationship or not, and move on either way. My heart ached at the thought that it might go wrong. There was a chance Alyssa might run after today. But I could only hope for the best and do what I could to sway her in my direction.
“What was in the box, Declan?” she asked when we were pulling out of Mum’s driveway.
I smiled at her. “You’ll see. I promise.”
“When?”
“Soon. Real soon.”
After all, it was only a little under an hour’s drive to Willowbank.
To Queensland Raceway.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: QUEENSLAND RACEWAY
“SO, AUNTY KELLY?” I asked Alyssa, to break the silence in the car.
She shrugged. “It was just something we agreed on after the twins were born. We could hardly call her Nana. Not without telling the whole town that I was your loser ex-girlfriend who—”
Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series) Page 55