CowSex

by Lesley Jones

  I dig my chin into her breastbone in an attempt to get her to free my beard, which her fingers are still laced through.

  “You wanna fight dirty, little-bit? I’ll give you dirty.”

  My mouth finds her nipple, and I suck it into my mouth through my T-shirt that she’s wearing and grind my hips into the heat between her legs. Apart from the T-shirt between us, we’re both naked, and it doesn’t take much for my dick to seek out her wet slit.

  Both her hands are now on my hair. Her nails raking my scalp where it’s shorter at the back, the other gripping and tugging at the front where it’s longer.

  I’m not sure if she’s pulling me closer or pushing me away. I don’t think she even knows what she wants.

  “Koa.” She groans as I bury myself inside her. “Stop. We need to stop this and talk.”

  “No, we don’t.”

  “Yeah, we do. Once is a mistake, but twice is just being stupid.”

  I move my face from her chest and push myself up on my arms so that I can look down at her.

  “You think this is stupid?”

  She pushes my hair back from my eyes and then rests her hand on the side of my face. Her fingers gently stroke my cheek and along the edge of my beard.

  “Having unprotected sex is beyond stupid. What are we even doing?”

  I rest my forehead down on hers.

  “I have no clue, Gracie, but it feels damn good, and it feels right.”

  “We’re grown-ups, Koa. Why are we taking a risk like this when we know full well what the consequences could end up being?”

  “Fuck the consequences.”

  I bite along her jaw.

  “Fuck the consequences? Are you fucking mental? So, I get knocked up, and then what? I just go back to England to raise a baby on my own while you carry on living life large up here on your fucking mountain and playing happy families with the two kids you’ve already got with two other women?”

  “You make me sound like an irresponsible man whore.”

  “Well, that’s how you’re fucking behaving.”

  I move back so that I can look down at her face again.

  “I’m not a man whore. I’ve never cheated or slept around, and my other women are in the past. All that concerns me now is you and me.”

  “You and me and the baby you keep trying to put inside me.”

  I bite along the other side of her jaw and then lick her neck.

  “Yeah. You got a problem with that?”

  “Erm, let me think. Yes, I have a problem with that.”

  “Why?”

  I roll my hips and push deeper inside her.

  “Koa, will you stop that. Get your dick out of me and behave for five fucking minutes.”

  “Nope.”

  “Nope? Nope? What the fuck do you mean, nope! Have you lost the fucking plot?”

  “I’ve lost nothing. In fact, by my way of thinking, I gained a whole lot when I landed on you in my drive. I’ve done the right thing my entire life—”

  I move my mouth to the small hollow at the base of her throat, and despite all of her protests, she tilts her head back and allows me access.

  “Gave up my football career to do the right thing by one woman. Stepped away from my music to do the right thing by my daughter. This time, I’m gonna do what’s right for me.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “Everything I can to convince you that I want you here with me, for keeps.”

  “What about what’s right for me?”

  “I’m making that choice for you. You’re my woman now, and you best get used to that idea.”

  “You are absolutely, one hundred percent, stark-raving fucking mad. I’m not your woman, Koa. I’m nobody’s woman! Well, maybe the MAC counter owns my arse and possibly Michael Kors, and I’m definitely my eyebrow girl’s bitch, but besides them, I’m my own person.”

  I can’t pretend that I don’t hate that she’s not just conceding defeat and admitting her feelings. It fucking hurts when she says she’s not my woman. But at the same time, the way she’s fighting me on this is a definite turn on.

  “Who’s Michael Kors? You mentioned him the other day. And who the fuck is MAC Counter? I thought your ex was called Reggie?”

  She closes her eyes for a long moment.

  “Open your eyes and look at me, Essex, or don’t if you wanna be a child. I’m still gonna be here either way.”

  “What about when you’re not?” She looks up at me then, her eyes shining like she’s about to cry. “Being spontaneous and living for the moment is great in films, songs, and romance novels, but what if this all blows up in our faces?”

  “Then let’s not allow that to happen.”

  “How do we stop it?”

  “By continuing on the way we are.”

  “Continuing on? We haven’t even got started yet. We’re only just beginning to learn about each other.”

  “Then let’s just carry on with that. In fact, let’s never stop learning about each other. Every relationship has to start somewhere, Gracie, ours just started a little different from most.”

  “Yeah, we skipped the first three years.”

  I shrug. “I don’t care. I honestly do not give a fuck about the rules and how things are supposed to be. I’ve lived by the rules, and my life still went to shit. This time, I’m breaking them and going after what I want.”

  “And you’re sure that’s me?” Her voice trembles, and when I nod, she starts to cry.

  “I’m scared, Koa. I’m afraid to take a chance, and I’m scared it might all go Pete Tong.”

  “I’m not even gonna ask who Pete is, Gracie, but we are, at some stage, gonna have a discussion about all the guys you seem to have in your life.”

  Tears travel from the corners of her eyes and back down towards her hairline, others remain caught on her lashes.

  “I don’t have guys in my life, Koa. MAC and MK are Gods, God is a DJ and so is Pete, and then there’s you.”

  “And what am I?”

  She rolls her lips and traps them between her teeth as she stares at me for a long moment. I wait, hoping my ears don’t explode from the force of my heartbeat as it pounds inside my head.

  “You’re the person that has the potential to rock my whole fucking world.”

  “Consider it rocked, Essex.”

  I crash my mouth down on hers. I’m sick of talking. It’s time to take her loud friend’s advice and show her exactly what she means to me.

  GRACIE

  “ YOU DOING OKAY, ESSEX?”

  Koa leans on the frame of the open doorway of my bedroom. I’m sitting on the end of my bed after our early morning D&M and sex session.

  We showered in silence afterwards, both of us apparently lost in our own thoughts. Koa then went to his own room to get dressed before the builders arrive.

  He has to go to Aspen later. It’s his weekend to have his daughter, but she had a birthday party to attend last night and another this afternoon.

  Koa will collect her from there and take her back to his house in Aspen, making it easier for him to drop her back to her mum’s on Sunday.

  He’s asked me to go with him, but I think some distance will do us good, and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now.

  My body gives an involuntary shiver as I watch him stalk towards me. He’s already dressed in his standard long-sleeved T-shirt, jeans, and boots. Today, he has a white T-shirt on beneath the moss-coloured one, though.

  “You need to get dressed. Lee, the carpenters, and the painters will be here soon.”

  I let out a deep breath. Refusing to listen to the steam train full of thoughts that are rattling around in my head is exhausting, and I’m almost ready to go back to bed. But then I’d only think some more, and I’m already doing my own head in.

  “Gracie.”

  “Hmmm?” I turn to him and pause, waiting.

  “Put some clothes on, you’re making my dick hard.”

  When he says things
like that and looks at me like he is, I feel so sure that what we have is worth the risk we’re taking, but as soon as I’m left to get inside my own head, all the doubt creeps in.

  He tilts his head to the side and watches me for a moment longer before saying, “Don’t move, I’ve got this.”

  He goes into my wardrobe and re-emerges a few minutes later with a pair of grey loose-fitting Victoria’s Secret lounge pants, a black hoodie, sports bra, and knickers, all from their Pink line.

  “Thank you.” I can’t help but smile about him putting an outfit together for me.

  “Welcome. You need socks, or you just gonna put on your gangster boots?”

  I stand in front of him and the towel drops as I shimmy my knickers over my hips.

  He puts his hands on each of his hips and brazenly stares at my tits.

  “What gangster boots?” I question, having no clue what he’s talking about.

  “Hmmm?”

  I lean forward and pull on his beard. “Eyes up here, Cowboy. What gangster boots?”

  He continues to watch me as I pull on my bra.

  “The furry ones you always wear. Gangster, Thug, whatever it is you call them. You have great tits.”

  I pull my hoodie over my head to stop distracting him.

  “Thank you, but, Koa?” His eyes are still on my chest, even though it’s covered by my hoodie.

  “What?” His eyes are finally on mine again.

  “I don’t know what boots you mean, I don’t have a pair of furry Gang—” I stop what I was about to say and cover my mouth with my hand to hide my grin. He’s been so sweet and attentive, picking my outfit and bringing it to me, that I feel guilty that I’m about to totally take the piss out of him. “Gangster boots?” I question him.

  “Yes. You need socks to go with them, or are you good?”

  “Yeah, socks would be good to go under my boots, thank you.” He starts to walk back into my wardrobe.

  “Koa?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Just an FYI, they’re called UGGs, not Gangster, not Thug. UGGs, babe.”

  I bite down on my top and bottom lips and watch him as he tilts his head and stares at me, his eyes narrow.

  “You fucking with me, Essex?”

  “Would I, Cowboy?”

  “Damn straight you would.”

  I open my mouth to protest, but then I close it again because I totally would.

  I’M UP IN KAI’S NEWLY decorated bedroom putting the freshly washed and ironed sheets and quilt cover on his bed.

  I’d spent last night at the cabin alone, while Koa had spent the night and all of today in Aspen with his little girl.

  The last few weeks have been a whirl wind, and it was nice to have yesterday afternoon, last night and today to myself, although, if I’m honest, I did miss him.

  I thought that I’d end up spending my alone time overthinking and dissecting our relationship, but I didn’t.

  Much.

  I’m happy. Koa and I are in a good place. We enjoy each other’s company, we talk nonstop about every conceivable topic and the sex is off the charts.

  I’ve been in America for almost three weeks and yet I feel like I’ve found my home. It’s only really struck me since I’ve been here, just how lonely I’ve been since I lost my mum.

  We were exceptionally close, and as much as I love Kod, my mum was my best friend until she died. Kod and Rod had filled the gap to some degree, then along came Reggie. It’s only just hitting me now, how shallow our relationship was. I was so desperate to be a part of a relationship, to have a someone to build a life with, that I settled for something, rather nothing, which was not only wrong, it was selfish.

  Reggie was never the right man for me, and I shouldn’t have let things progress the way they did, and now I have a problem. Reggie had called Kod, claiming he had put our apartment on the market, there had been an immediate offer made and he needed to talk to me about accepting it urgently.

  It was all utter bollocks, but before she’d had a chance to call and warn me, Reggie had started with his calls. When I’d ignored them enough times, he’d started texting his apologies for letting things slide between us and proposing a reconciliation, as well as marriage.

  I hadn’t deleted his number yet because I felt like I owed him a call and an explanation as to why I was refusing his offers. I’d just been putting off what I knew needed to be done.

  Procrastination, I was the queen of that shit!

  It had taken Koa entering my life to make me realise how wrong Reggie and I were for each other. Koa and I had an undeniable connection and obvious chemistry. We’d accepted both of these facts, all that was left was to see what they led to. If this new, lust-filled relationship had legs and would lead us to a path of permanency, or if, with enough sex, we would just work each other out of our systems.

  The prospect of either happening terrified me. I was falling for Koa, hard. Everything about him appealed to me like no other man ever had. It wasn’t just the sex, it was our conversations, the way we laughed together and at each other and the way that the silences were never uncomfortable.

  It just was.

  I constantly panic over how perfect it all is. How relatively easy it’s been to fall head first into a relationship with him. We’ve gone from zero to spending our days and nights together, and it works.

  Granted, it had been less than three weeks since we’d met and yes, it may well all go tits up, but right now, it was working, and I loved it.

  I smile as I catch my frowning reflection in the mirror. So much for not overthinking things.

  I almost jump out of my skin when I realise I’ve been so lost in my thoughts that I’d failed to notice Koa leaning in the doorway watching me.

  I spin around to face him.

  “Shit! You made me bloody jump.” Both my step and my smile falter when I take in the look on his face.

  “What?”

  “Come with me,” he rasps out his order, turns and heads out of the bedroom.

  I don’t move for a few seconds, stunned by his behaviour.

  “What the actual fuck, Koa?” I call after him before I follow his retreating form down the stairs.

  My phone was plugged in and on charge in the kitchen, and he goes straight to it, disconnects the charger and holds it up to me.

  “Rod’s missing your sexy arse and wants to know why you’ve not returned his texts. Kod says to give him one for me, and an unknown number wants to know why they’re being ignored, and wants you to know that they meant what they said about getting married and starting a family.” He gives a whistle from between his teeth and shakes his head.

  “You’re damn popular, Essex.”

  “Why are you reading my messages?”

  “I came through the front door, was getting myself a beer and you a wine when your phone vibrated, I picked it up. The messages are displayed on the screen. Believe me, I wish they weren't. Wish I hadn’t seen them. Wish I hadn’t opened it up, but I did. Now, who the fuck’s Rod and who’s the anonymous person that wants to marry you?”

  My pulse throbs at the base of my throat. I’m so fucking pissed off that he went through my phone and I’m equally pissed off with his attitude.

  I take deep breaths and debate whether to have this out with him or walk away and calm myself down. Right now I wanna punch him…and violence is never the answer.

  “If you go through other people’s private messages, you should expect to see things you don’t wanna.”

  He puts my phone down, goes to the fridge and gets himself a beer.

  “You keeping secrets from me, Essex?”

  He takes a swig from the bottle, managing to maintain his scowl while doing it.

  I hadn’t told him about Reggie’s calls and texts, simply because things were intense and complicated enough between us. I didn’t want to throw Reggie into the mix. I was gonna deal with the situation, and then I’d let him know.

  Probably.

  I let o
ut a long breath before speaking.

  “Rod works for me, with me. He owns a small share of my business and is our website and all things technological guru. He’s Kod’s brother, real name’s Ryan. I thought I’d already told you this.”

  I get no response for a few seconds.

  “He misses your sexy arse?” Koa raises just one eyebrow as he questions the meaning of the text.

  “Rod’s one of my best friends, he’s also been in a relationship with his boyfriend James for about four years.”

  Koa’s head physically jerks back at my response.

  “Anonymous is probably Reggie. He fed Kod a load of bullshit, and she gave him my number. It’s something I probably should’ve told you about, and definitely need to deal with.”

  That earns me a sardonic laugh. “Ya think?”

  I ignore his arsehole-ness and continue, “and Kod is Kod and wants me to give you one from her.”

  “One what?”

  “Does it matter? You saw those messages and automatically thought the worst of me. You know how I struggled with this whole no- strings sex thing, do you honestly believe that I’m the sort of bird that can shag about on a bloke?”

  His gaze drops from mine to the floor. “Gracie,” he huffs out my name, sounding almost exasperated. Why? I don’t know. I’m the one that should be feeling pissed off and huffing about.

  “Fuck you, Koa. You just spoiled what’s been a really nice day for me. A day I spent getting your boy's bedroom sorted, all while missing you.”

  My throat feels tight, and tears burn my nose and eyes. Before I start to cry, I turn and stomp towards the stairs. I fucking hate open-plan houses. I need a door or two to slam when I feel like this. I hit the first and second steps hard, but the sound’s muffled by my UGG boots, pissing me off even more.

  I don’t get far before Koa’s arms wrap around me from behind and pull me back into his solid chest. I don’t fight him, I just freeze with my arms folded across my chest.

  “I’m sorry.” His breath is hot in my ear.

  “I don’t really care what you are right now.”

  “Yes you do, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have looked at your phone, and I shouldn’t have jumped the gun and thought the worst when I saw your messages. That was rude of me, and I apologise.”