Code Name: Cowboy

by Carla Cassidy

  He nodded and watched as she walked away. Amanda was attractive, and he thought they might be kindred spirits, two souls with battle-scarred hearts seeking solace. The difference was Cameron sought peace in keeping himself separate from others and he suspected Amanda hid a heartache behind her too-bright smile and bad-girl aura.

  Yes, Amanda was attractive, although any man seeking a relationship with her would have to put up with Amanda’s mother, Millicent. Still, Millicent Creighton didn’t bother Cameron. Unfortunately there were no sparks of any kind between him and Amanda. They were friendly with each other, flirtatious and teasing...and not interested in anything more.

  Cameron wasn’t interested at all in pursuing any woman. Dead men didn’t need love, and Cameron had considered himself a dead man for a long tune. He had no illusions about his future...if he had one at all, it would be lived alone.

  As he continued to watch Amanda, her features seemed to fade as a vision of Alice superimposed itself into his head. Those vivid blue eyes...the mouth that looked as if it needed to be kissed hard and long...danm. Although he had no desire for a relationship with the woman, he definitely had a desire for something with his housekeeper.

  It had been a long time since he’d wanted anything from a woman...a long time since the pit of his stomach had ached with physical want. Something about Alice had awakened him, stirred the desire that had been stifled inside him, and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one little bit. He preferred his cocoon of safe numbness, and desperately wanted it back.

  Amanda returned with a frosty mug of beer. As she plunked it down before him, he wondered how many he’d have to drink before he’d stop wanting Alice Burwell.

  Chapter 5

  “Mommy? Can we stay here forever?” Rebecca peeked at Alicia from beneath the blankets on her bed. “I really like it here.”

  Alicia leaned down and kissed her daughter’s forehead, then sat on the edge of her bed. “You know this is just the place I’m working for now. This is Mr. Gallagher’s house, but someday we’ll have our own house, someplace special just for the two of us.”

  Rebecca’s forehead furrowed with a frown. “But I think here is special and we should just stay. Mr. Lallagher doesn’t mind us being here. It’s a really big house with lots of room.”

  Alicia rubbed her thumb across the little girl’s wrinkled forehead. “I think it’s time for you to close your eyes and go to sleep and stop worrying about all this. We’re here now and I’m glad you like it here.” She gave Rebecca one final kiss, then turned off the light and left the room.

  In her own room, she changed into her nightgown, pulled on her robe, then went back downstairs, too restless for sleep. She sank onto the sofa and leaned her head back, trying to relax.

  Rebecca was happy here...happier than Alicia had seen her in months. She loved school, adored Sugar, the horse Cameron was teaching her to ride, and was beginning to look at Cameron just as she had once gazed at her father.

  “Damn you, Robert,” she sighed tiredly. “Damn you for dying and leaving me to fight your family all alone.” Tears pressed ominously, burning behind her eyes.

  She drew in several deep breaths, knowing it wasn’t grief for Robert that caused the threat of tears, but rather the knowledge that even if Robert had lived, she’d probably be in the same set of circumstances.

  She realized now that she and Robert would have never stayed together, that the gratitude she’d felt for him, the gentle friendship they’d shared, hadn’t been vital enough, essential enough to keep them together forever. Eventually she would have wanted more and she would have left him, opening the door for Broderick and Ruth to fight her for custody of Rebecca.

  Pressing her fingers against her temples, she realized what bothered her more than anything ...Cameron. In the space of two short weeks he had managed to summon in her the kind of passion, the sort of wild desire that had been lacking in her relationship with Robert. It both terrified her and thrilled her at the same time.

  Still, she knew she’d be a fool to allow anything to happen between herself and Cameron. He was her boss and she desperately needed this job. Adding in any kind of personal relationship to the employer/ employee mix would be the height of foolishness.

  However, what frightened her was that there was a part of her that longed to be foolish, that wanted to hide in heady passion, lose herself even momentarily in the mindlessness of complete desire. It would be wonderful for just a single moment to forget the fear that had driven her for the last couple of months and simply feel like a normal woman.

  Her fingers tingled as she remembered the feel of Cameron’s skin beneath them. His back was tanned, warm as if it had retained the kiss of the sun and she’d fought the impulse to caress instead of take care of his wounds.

  “Time for bed,” she said aloud, not wanting to dwell on the naked emotion she’d seen in his eyes as they had faced each other, an emotion that had sent him running out of the house for the night.

  She’d recognized it, pure and unadulterated lust. Apparently he, too, realized the foolishness of following through on it.

  “Go to bed, Alicia,” she instructed herself aloud, irritated by her crazy thoughts. She couldn’t jeopardize her position here by allowing things between them to flare out of control. Rebecca was happy here and at least for a while they had no place else to go. That, was the bottom line.

  She stood and moved to the front door, unsure whether to lock it or leave it unlocked for Cameron’s return. As she contemplated her choices, she heard the sound of hooves approaching.

  Knowing the smart thing to do was scamper up the stairs and into her bedroom, her body ignored her brain and instead she opened the door just in time to see Cameron riding down the long drive toward the house.

  As he reached the area just outside the front door, the horse reared up on hind legs and whinnied. In the bright illumination of the moonlight, Cameron’s gaze met hers...his eyes glittering silver in the lunar light. In an instant the horse was back on all fours and headed for the stables.

  Alicia’s breath remained caught m her throat and remained there even when the horse and rider disappeared from her view. In that single instant, with the horse pawing the air and Cameron sitting tall and proud, he had never looked more like the quintessential cowboy.

  There had been a wildness in his eyes...as if he were one with the powerful animal beneath him and the cold wind that sung in the air.

  Again her brain commanded she go up to her room, make herself scarce rather than face Cameron. But she felt as if there was a short circuit between brain and body, between good sense and foolishness. And then it was too late. He appeared on the porch before her.

  He tipped his hat, a mocking smile curving the corners of his lips. “Good evening. How kind of you to wait up for me.”

  “I didn’t. I was on my way to bed when I heard the sound of one of your horses.” Alicia backed up as he stepped into the house, far too close to her. He smelled of the night air and of leather, soap and beer, a combination inherently male, and overwhelmingly attractive.

  He closed the door behind him, then turned to look at her again. The wildness in his eyes softened and his hand reached out and touched her hair. “What color is it naturally?” He didn’t wait for her answer as his fingers curled around a strand. “I’ll bet it’s the color of corn silk.”

  “I...yes, it’s light blond.” The words came with difficulty as her breath was caught inside her chest.

  “Why did you color it?”

  He stood so close to her she could see that his eyes weren’t really black, as she’d initially thought, but rather a dark brown flecked with black. She tried to focus on his question and not on his heart-stopping nearness. “I just wanted to try something new.”

  He released the strand of hair and instead stroked a finger down the side of her face. “Tell me, Alice Burwell, what should we do about this energy...this chemistry...that exists between us?” His voice was low, husky and she
realized she would look a fool if she pretended she didn’t know what he was talking about.

  “I don’t know,” she replied, wishing he would step away...stand closer...leave her alone...kiss her.

  He rubbed a finger across her lower lip, his touch scalding her mouth with heat that infused her entire body. She fought the impulse to open her mouth, draw his finger inside and taste him.

  His eyes flared, as if he sensed the impulse she fought against. His hand dropped and he took a step backward. “Go to bed, Alice.” He raked a hand through his wind-tossed hair. “I’ve had too much to drink.”

  She hesitated, knowing she should leave... run...yet not wanting to. “Should I make some coffee?”

  “It’s not coffee I want, or need.” Still his gaze blazed, speaking more than words, speaking the language of desire.

  Alicia wanted to fall into that fire, be consumed by the flames and she took a step toward him. She heard him breathe inward, as if shocked by her nearness. In a single, swift movement, he reached out and grabbed her, then pulled her intimately against him.

  Her eyes widened as her body melded to his, felt the power of his shoulders beneath her hands, felt the thrust of his hips and the evidence of his desire. A moan escaped her, a deep throaty moan she couldn’t control.

  His hands moved down her back and cupped her buttocks, pressed her closer, more deeply into him. At the same time his lips touched the side of her neck, the sensitive point just below her ear. His lips scalded her, branding her with heat and she allowed her head to fall back, giving him access to the column of her throat at the same time his hips moved suggestively against hers.

  This is crazy, a little voice whispered inside her head, but she didn’t want to listen. She didn’t want sanity at the moment; she wanted Cameron. She smoothed her hands across his shoulders, fingers clutching and her breath quickened as his hands moved from her buttocks, up her sides, where he lightly touched the swell of each breast.

  Alicia was on fire, each and every nerve ending screaming for attention, for his touch. Her silk robe had initially been cool against her skin, but now it was too hot, demanded to be shrugged off, exposing more skin to his fingers, his lips.

  He seemed to know her desire, and with a quick flip of the belt, he tugged the robe off her shoulders, allowing it to fall into a pool at their feet.

  This time when he touched her breasts through the thin material of her gown, it felt as if she were naked to his touch. Her nipples grew taut, as if trying to burst free from the confines of the wispy nightgown.

  Control...she could feel it slipping away. She wanted him to take her, didn’t want to think of consequences at the moment. “Cameron.” She whispered his name against his shoulder. He stiffened, as if her voice brought him back from some precarious brink.

  He raised his head and looked at her, his eyes dark and hungry. “You want me to take you right here? On the floor?” His voice was deeper than usual, almost harsh in tone.

  Alicia blinked, felt the mood shifting. “I don’t...I want...” She stumbled over the words as her brain refused to function.

  He dropped his hands from her, leaned down and picked up her robe. “Go to bed, Alice,” he demanded.

  “But...” She wasn’t sure what she intended to say.

  “Go to your room,” he thundered.

  She ran up the stairs like the hounds of hell nipped at her heels. But, it wasn’t the hounds of hell she feared, it was the devil in blue jeans, the devil named Cameron.

  In her room, she shrugged out of her robe and climbed into bed, her eyes focused on the door. He wanted her. She’d seen it in his eyes, felt it in his touch. He wanted her and God help her, she wanted him.

  Would he come to her? Would he sneak into her room, make his way through the shaft of moonlight that filtered through her window?

  She trembled at the thought, the quiver of her body not a result of fear, but the result of something much more intense. She remained watching the door for a very long time. When she finally fell asleep, she wasn’t sure if she felt regret, or relief that he hadn’t entered her room.

  Cameron opened one eye and squinted against the faint morning light. Eight beers and the only thing he had managed to do was give himself one hell of a hangover.

  There had been a time when he’d been able to knock back twice as many beers, but that had been right after Ginny’s disappearance and Samuel’s arrest, when Cameron had plunged into a downward spiral of self-destruction. But his flirtation with booze had lasted only a couple of weeks, then his keen sense of survival had kicked in and he’d moved to Mustang to start over.

  He eased himself to a sitting position, gasping as his head threatened to split in half and fall apart. Damn. He’d been a fool to try to drown his attraction to Alice in the bottom of a bottle of beer.

  It hadn’t worked. The moment he’d stood in front of her last night, the anesthetizing effect of the beer had instantly dissipated. His hand itched as he remembered the feel of her silken hair beneath his fingertips. Her skin had been soft...so soft and enticingly warm.

  With a sigh of irritation, he rolled out of bed. Ignoring the pounding of his head, he pulled on a pair of jeans and headed for the bathroom. What he needed was a pulsing hot shower to take away the headache, and an invigorating cold shower to ease the heat of his thoughts.

  In the bathroom, he twisted around to get a vision of his back in the mirror. The wounds were easily visible, starting to scab over, but there was no telltale radiating redness to warn of infection.

  Twenty minutes later he dressed for the day, realizing he’d slept later than he could remember. His unusual late morning was not only due to the fact that he’d drank too much, but also because the day was overcast and gray. He guessed it to be after nine o’clock as he left his bedroom.

  He heard Alice in the kitchen as he walked down the stairs. She was humming a melody along with the radio. He paused on the bottom step. The sweet female sound mingling with the strains of music once again stirred the desire he’d hoped had gurgled down the shower drain.

  Why, oh why was fate making things difficult on him? Why couldn’t he feel this same kind of physical craving for Amanda...or any of the other eligible women the town of Mustang had to offer? Why did it have to be his housekeeper who magically stirred him?

  “Good morning.” She greeted him without looking at him as he walked into the kitchen. “Coffee?”

  “Yeah...about a gallon.” He sank into a chair at the table and watched as she poured him a cup. Clad in a pale pink sweater and a pair of designer jeans that hugged the shapely length of her legs, she looked far too attractive for his present mood.

  “You’ve got nice clothes for a woman who was living in her car before this job,” he observed. Maybe if he focused on the inconsistencies of her story, his initial gut feeling that she had lied to him, then his desire for her would quickly ebb.

  She smoothed a hand down her sweater. “My husband was very generous during our marriage.”

  Cameron took a sip of his coffee and continued looking at her thoughtfully. “A man who was generous while alive, yet made no provisions for his wife and daughter in the event of his death?”

  She shrugged, again her gaze averted from his. “I guess it was the arrogance of youth. Robert was young, the last thing on his mind was death.”

  “How did he die?”

  “A car accident.” She frowned, her brow furrowing.

  “He was coming home from a late evening meeting with his fa...uh...boss and took a corner too fast. His car crashed into a tree. Robert was badly hurt. He held on for two days, then passed away.”

  Cameron’s gut told him she wasn’t lying. Her voice held a well of sadness that couldn’t be manufactured with lies. He sipped his coffee and considered her loss. How devastating it must be to lose a wife or a husband...somebody you had built a life with for years, someone you intended to grow old with.

  He and Ginny’s life together had barely begun. They’d l
ived together for three months before he’d walked in on her and Samuel that fateful day. Alice had to be one strong woman to deal with her grief and continue to face life head-on. He could almost admire strength of that kind. But of course, Alice had a child. Rebecca was her reason to go on. When Ginny had left, Cameron had been left with nothing but unfulfilled dreams and the taste of bitter betrayal lingering in his mouth.

  “You told me to tell you when I needed groceries. I’ve got a list of things,” she said, as if relieved to change the subject.

  “I’ll take you into town this morning and we can pick up what you need. I’ve got a few things I have to order from the feed store.” Cameron drained his coffee cup and stood. “Let me know when you’re ready and we’ll leave.”

  “Oh, just give me a minute or two and I’ll be ready.” She washed her hands and dried them, then hurried up the stairs toward her room.

  Cameron walked to the backdoor and peered out to the corral, where the wild horse walked restlessly within the wooden confines. Despite his work with the animal over the past two weeks, the horse refused to trust him. She clung to her independence, her very wildness, as if it were a mantra of protection.

  Eventually he would win her over. It was inevitable. And he had a feeling the only way to get Alice Burwell out from under his skin was to make love to her. He was beginning to believe that was inevitable as well.

  “Okay, I’m ready.”

  Her voice pulled him from his thoughts and he turned from the window. He frowned as he noticed she’d applied lipstick and brushed her hair. The red lip color emphasized the sensuality of her lips and there was nothing more he wanted to do than nibble it off. “Then let’s go,” he said, his voice more growl than anything.

  Moments later they were in Cameron’s truck, headed for Mustang. Before leaving the house he’d pulled on a suede jacket against the chill of the day, and Alice had put on a chic jean jacket. Despite their warm dress, he turned on the heater, hoping the warm blowing air would dispel the bewitching scent of her that filled the small cab.