Code Name: Cowboy

by Carla Cassidy

  She replaced the receiver into the cradle, telling herself not to jump to conclusions. “It was just a wrong number,” she said, as if saying the words aloud would make them true.

  Even though the phone remained silent for the rest of the afternoon, Alicia continued to be on edge, her thoughts playing games of “what if” where she was always the loser and the price she paid was her daughter.

  By the time dinner arrived and the three of them sat down to eat, she knew she was on the verge of an emotional explosion. In the weeks she and Rebecca had been running Alicia hadn’t had time to mourn all that she had lost. The material world she’d left behind had been the most easily lost. Her dreams of loving support from family were the most difficult, and it was this she now felt, the loss of all her dreams.

  “Rebecca, eat those peas,” she said.

  “But, Mommy, I really, really don’t like them,” Rebecca replied.

  “Don’t argue with me, Rebecca. Just do as I say,” Alicia snapped, her voice loud and strident.

  Rebecca’s eyes instantly filled with tears and her lower lip trembled with hurt. Alicia’s eyes burned with tears of her own and she quickly excused herself from the table and escaped the house through the backdoor.

  The evening air was far too cold to be out without a jacket, but Alicia didn’t care. She needed the bracing air to clear her head, to shiver away the nagging fear that had worried her all day.

  Tears trekked down her cheeks as she thought of the look on her daughter’s face. Alicia had never been one to lose her temper with Rebecca. Rebecca was accustomed to gentle rebukes, stern reminders, but not temper snaps. Alicia knew Rebecca didn’t like peas...and in any case a few bites of vegetables didn’t really matter.

  She knew her uncharacteristic harshness with Rebecca had been a result of the fear that had gnawed at her since the phone call. She also knew it had been the consequence of her hours of mourning, of self-pity.

  She heard the backdoor open and close, sensed Cameron moving to stand just behind her. “Where’s Rebecca?” she asked as she quickly swiped at her tears.

  “I told her she could go to her room and play.” He moved even closer, so close she could feel his body heat radiating toward her. “She ate her peas.”

  Tears once again appeared, blurring her vision. She felt as if all the emotions she’d shoved deep inside since Robert’s death were now precariously close to the surface.

  Cameron’s hands gripped her shoulders and he turned her around to face him. “It isn’t like you to yell at Rebecca. You want to tell me what’s going on? You’ve been tense all evening.”

  “Nothing is going on.” She couldn’t look at him, instead stared at the scuffed toes of his cowboy boots through a veil of tears.

  He placed a finger beneath her chin and forced her head up, her gaze to hips. With his thumb he wiped her tears, his expression more gentle than she’d ever seen. “What’s going on, Alice? Who are you running from?”

  “Nobody...nothing. I—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  His eyes appeared to usurp the evening light, shining with a golden glow. She wanted to melt into him, snuggle against him and tell him about her fear of losing Rebecca.

  “Alice, you know I’d never do anything to harm you or Rebecca. Trust me. You know you can.”

  Oh, how she wished she could. But she was afraid...so afraid to trust anyone. Even Cameron. She forced a light burst of laughter. “Cameron, you’re making far too much of this. I had a bad day, I snapped at Rebecca. I’ll go up and apologize to her and everything will be fine. That’s all there is to it, nothing more.”

  He continued to look at her for a long moment. She could tell by his expression that he didn’t believe her, but she simply couldn’t risk telling him the truth. The price was too high. “Come on. You’d better get inside. It’s much too cold out here.” He moved his hands up and down her arms, as if to generate soothing warmth.

  It worked, although the heat he created was less a result of his present caresses and more an outcome of the memory of his lovemaking. Her eyes must have communicated her thoughts, for his darkened and she heard his swift intake of breath.

  She raised her lips, willing his to take her, knowing that as long as he held her, kissed her she would feel safe. He did her bidding, his lips capturing hers with fiery intent. He pulled her against him roughly as if angry at her...or perhaps angry with himself.

  His mouth plundered hers. His tongue swirled around hers in an erotic dance of passion and pleasure. Alicia wound her arms around him, tangled her fingers in the hair at his nape.

  The cold evening air fell away, banished by the warmth of his body pressed against her. The chill of her fear ebbed as well.

  All too quickly the kiss ended and he stepped back from her. His eyes were dark and hooded. “I won’t allow you to hide from me, Alice. Something isn’t right with your life. You’ve got secrets...or problems. Fine. But don’t use me as a momentary respite from them.”

  He turned and stalked back into the house. Alicia stared after him. He was right. She had used him to still her fears, had wanted to hide in him. But, what he didn’t know, couldn’t know is what she was just beginning to realize. If she wasn’t careful...very careful, she’d find herself in love with Cameron Gallagher.

  Cameron walked back into the house, irritated by her...and by his own thoughts. Damn, he thought he knew what he wanted from Alice...a night or two of passion spent, a sharing of mutual lust. But when she’d run out the backdoor, when he’d seen the tears sparkling in her lovely eyes, he’d wanted more from her than a mere physical intimacy.

  He’d wanted to know what made her cry. And he suddenly wanted to be the one to always dry her tears. And it had been that that had created his irritation with her.

  Damn her, for pulling him back to life. Damn her for making him wonder about her, making him care about her. He wasn’t sure when the knowledge that she was running from somebody had hit him, but he knew his suspicions couldn’t be far from the truth.

  The stories she’d told that didn’t exactly jibe. Her nervousness when Jesse approached, her adamant refusal to allow Millicent to mention her presence here in the paper.

  All of these things had combined in his head to create an indisputable truth and no denial from her convinced him otherwise. She was afraid. She was on the run, and for the first time in two years, he wanted to help somebody. He wanted to help Alice.

  He walked through the kitchen and into the living room. It had been Rebecca first who had managed to pierce through the protective shield he’d erected around his emotions. Rebecca with her sunny smile and love for all things cowboyish.

  Sinking onto the sofa, he raked a hand through his hair. Yes, Rebecca had initially pierced the shield and he felt naked, vulnerable without it.

  Why didn’t Alice trust him? It irked him that she could lie in his arms, make passionate love with him, and yet refuse to bare the secrets she harbored.

  “You’re a difficult man to get to know, Cameron Gallagher.” He remembered her speaking those words on the morning they had made love in the shower. She’d prodded and pried, trying to glean bits and pieces of him, but he’d selfishly guarded them, offering only unimportant details of his life. Could he fault her for not trusting when he suffered from the same trait?

  He heard her come in from outside, listened as she cleared the table and cleaned up the kitchen. A few minutes later she came through the living room and disappeared up the stairs. Cameron assumed she was on her way to apologize to Rebecca.

  The ringing of the phone stirred him from his position and he reached across the sofa to grab the phone on the end table.

  “Hello?”

  There was a momentary pause. “Cowboy?”

  Cameron instantly recognized the deep, bass voice, an unwelcomed reminder of his past. The nickname had started as a joke. Everyone in the bail bond business where Cameron had worked had known he was saving his money for a ranch, saving for the fut
ure when he would live the life of a cowboy. The nickname had stuck through his time working as a bounty hunter. “Hi, Jack.”

  “How are you enjoying the life of a rancher? Bored yet?”

  “Not a chance,” Cameron returned. His stomach knotted as he tried to figure out exactly why his old boss had contacted him.

  Jack Heggar ran one of the most successful bail bond businesses in the entire state of Montana. He’d never shirked owing much of his success to the team of bounty hunters who worked for him. Samuel and Cameron had been his stars, an unbeatable team when it came to hunting down felons. When Cameron had left Billings and the bounty hunting business behind, he’d assumed he’d never hear from Jack Heggar again.

  “Sure miss the good old days when we were all working together.” There was another long pause then a whoosh of breath told Cameron Jack had just lit a cigarette.

  He could imagine the short, balding man sitting behind his massive oak desk, the surface covered with fast-food wrappers, stained coffee mugs and enough paperwork to belie the rumor of any shortage.

  “So what’s up, Jack?” Cameron asked, not wanting any foray into the past, when he and Samuel had been partners...friends.

  “Apparently you haven’t heard the news. I figured living in that one-horse town you probably hadn’t heard.”

  “Heard what?” Cameron asked impatiently.

  “He’s out, Cameron. Samuel was released from prison late yesterday afternoon.”

  Cameron’s breath caught in his chest as a loud roaring filled his ears. Samuel was out of prison. Cameron had always known in the back of his mind that eventually Sam would be free.

  “Cameron...you there?” Jack’s worried voice penetrated through Cameron’s shock.

  “I’m here.” He drew another deep breath. “Okay, so he’s out. What does that have to do with me?”

  “Rumor has it that he’s looking for you. He told his bunk mate he has unfinished business where you’re concerned. I figured you had a right to know that he was out. I know there’s bad blood between the two of you. Maybe you should keep an eye out over your shoulder.”

  Cameron frowned and squeezed the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “Sam doesn’t know where I live. I left no forwarding address at the Billings apartment. There are only a handful of people who know my current location.”

  “Yeah...well. Just thought I’d better let you know. You know, Cameron, if the ranching thing doesn’t work out, you’ll always have a job here with me.”

  Cameron drew a deep breath. “Thanks, Jack, I appreciate the sentiment, but you know it will never happen. I won’t come back...ever. That life is behind me now.”

  “Too bad. You were one of the best, Cameron. Sometimes you scared me because you were so damned good at ferreting out criminals.”

  Cameron laughed scathingly. “Oh yeah, I was so good at it I didn’t know my own partner was running a scam and breaking all kinds of laws.” He cleared his throat, swallowing the lump of bitterness that had lodged there. “Thanks for calling, Jack. I appreciate you keeping me informed.”

  “If I were you, I’d watch my back.” With these ominous words, Jack disconnected.

  Cameron hung up, his head reeling with the information Jack had imparted. Unfinished business. As far as Cameron was concerned, there was no such thing between him and Samuel. But apparently Samuel thought otherwise.

  He leaned his head back and sighed, remembering Samuel’s threats, his words of warning when he’d been arrested. Samuel hadn’t believed Cameron would turn him in to the authorities.

  Despite Samuel’s betrayal, he’d believed Cameron would look the other way or simply walk away. But Cameron had done neither. Still reeling from the shock of finding Samuel and Ginny in bed together, Cameron had gone to his boss and told him of Samuel’s criminal activities. Within two days a sting had been arranged and Samuel had been arrested.

  And now Samuel had had two long years to allow his anger with Cameron to fester.

  Cameron pulled himself up from the sofa, too restless to sit. Going out into the kitchen, he grabbed his coat, jerked it on, then left the house.

  He had no destination in mind, just a need to walk and think, to somehow deal with the bitter remnants of the past the phone call had stirred inside him.

  He didn’t want to face Samuel ever again, didn’t want to remember his love for the man, his love for Ginny and how deeply they both had hurt him.

  Samuel would find him. Of that he had no doubt. Sam was an expert at finding people, at following seemingly blank trails, shoving on through dead ends.

  Eventually Sam would find him and Cameron would have to face him for the first time since that black day when both their lives had changed forever. If Samuel came with anger and a need for revenge, then Cameron would have to meet him head-on. Cameron would defend himself and all he cared about against Samuel’s anger.

  Cameron slowed his pace as he came to the stable. Entering it, he went to Sugar’s stall. The gentle mare greeted him with a soft whinny, her tail swishing a friendly rhythm. He stood at the stall gate and held out his hand. The horse approached, started to nuzzle him, then backed away with a nervous side step.

  She sensed his fear and his despair. Animals were much smarter than people when it came to hidden emotions. Despite his outstretched hand, the horse accurately read the darkness in his heart, the blight on his soul, and she was wary.

  He dropped his hand and shoved it into his pocket. Leaning against the side of the stall, he closed his eyes. God, he’d been such a fool to believe he could help Alice, heal the wounding he saw in her eyes. How could he heal her when he couldn’t even begin to heal himself?

  Alicia stood in the doorway and watched her daughter sleep. There was nothing quite so heart filling as watching a child in slumber. Rebecca sprawled on her back, one foot out of the covers, her lips pursing slightly with each even breath.

  How Alicia wished she could give this child of her heart more than an uncertain future. How she wished she could give her stability, a life where they weren’t constantly looking over their shoulders.

  Alicia had spent the evening with Rebecca, trying to make up for the unpleasantness at dinnertime. Although Rebecca readily forgave her mother for yelling at her, Alicia had a hard time forgiving herself.

  Drawing a deep breath, Alicia moved from Rebecca’s doorway and into her own bedroom. Her head ached from the tension of the evening and the ten games of Go Fish she’d played with her daughter. Each time Rebecca had won, she’d squealed in a tone that had sent an arrow through Alicia’s temples.

  She changed into her nightgown, then opened the curtains at the window and peered out into the night. The moon was nearly full, but thick clouds raced across the surface, sporadically obscuring the light that flowed down to the ground.

  She’d heard the phone ring earlier, heard the low sounds of Cameron talking, then he’d left the house. That had been hours ago and he had yet to return. She wondered if he’d perhaps gone into town, maybe to the Roundup for a few beers, but his truck was parked out front.

  Staring out the window, she thought back to the afternoon. Now, it was hard to believe how she had overreacted to the phone call. Unbelievable that a single call could throw her into such a state of panic.

  She started as Cameron came into view, walking from the stables toward the house. He paused, his head tilted upward and she knew he could see her in the window. She suddenly realized that with the light behind her the diaphanous nightgown would appear sheer. She stepped back, quickly turned off the light and got into bed.

  Cameron confused her. When he’d come to her while she’d been outside after yelling at Rebecca, he’d displayed a surprising gentleness. Her face burned with the memory of how he had tenderly swept away her tears.

  She closed her eyes, her head throbbing at the base of her skull. What she needed was to put this day behind her, hope that she and Rebecca were safe for another day. She needed to sleep, and prayed she wouldn’t drea
m of Cameron. He, too, needed to be put behind her. No matter his gentleness, no matter his kindness, no matter the absolute breathtaking passion he inspired in her, come spring she and Rebecca would move on.

  She had no idea how long she’d been asleep when something awakened her. Pulling herself up to a sitting position, she glanced at the clock on the bedside stand. Two o’clock. What had awakened her?

  There was usually only one thing that would pull her from her sleep in the middle of the night...one of Rebecca’s nightmares. As Alicia got out of bed, she grabbed her robe and pulled it around her. Leaving her darkened bedroom, she was surprised to see a spill of light coming from Rebecca’s room and illuminating the hallway,.

  As she drew near the room, she heard Rebecca’s voice, then the deeper, smooth tones of Cameron. She paused just outside the door, leaned against the wall and eavesdropped.

  “So, tell me what this dream was about,” Cameron said.

  “People monsters.” Rebecca’s reply was a mere whisper, as if she feared saying the words too loudly.

  “What’s so scary about these people monsters?”

  “They want to take me away from my mommy. They tell me my mommy is bad.”

  Alicia’s heart ached as she listened. She hadn’t realized before that Rebecca’s nightmares were about Broderick and Ruth.

  “But you know your mommy isn’t bad,” Cameron responded.

  “I know. But sometimes I’m scared that if the people monsters take me and keep me, I’ll forget my mommy.” The last words were muffled by a tiny sob.

  Alicia started to enter the room, wanting to rock Rebecca in her arms, soothe away her fears. She stopped as she peeked around the corner and saw Cameron holding Rebecca.

  “Honey, you know I wouldn’t let that happen,” Cameron said softly. “I’m a big, strong cowboy and people monsters don’t scare me a bit.”

  “They don’t?” Rebecca released her hold from around his neck and peered at him, her eyes wide in astonishment. “How come they don’t scare you?”