MOAB � Mother Of All Boxsets

by George Saoulidis

  He had no clue how to load up the data. Sure, he had seen Agnes do it, but he didn't know the commands. If only he had been paying attention to her instead of watching the match... Dammit!

  Who was he kidding? Even if she was walking him through step by step, he still wouldn't be able to do it.

  Sighing, he slapped his knees and started to get up.

  Agnes' hand moved on its own, typing in the AR keyboard that was in front of him on the veil. The commands were a blur, just like when Agnes was typing. He gulped, and he even thought about stopping it.

  No, he waited to see what would happen.

  The hand broke, that's what happened. It locked up on the joints, becoming a big hunk of useless. His boss gave him the rest of the day off so he could go and sort it out at some mechanic.

  Back at home, Vasili tried to tinker with his arm and cursed out loud. "Dammit, Agnes! You could have figured it out in a second, if you were here," he said out loud, after giving up.

  The arm twitched. "What the..."

  The arm twitched again. It opened and closed, working perfectly.

  He leaned in and hesitated, then whispered, "Agnes? Are you there?"

  The hand formed a gesture and gave him the finger.

  He chuckled. "You are?"

  The hand made the gesture that pulled up the virtual keyboard on the veil. It didn't work, and after a while it started to tap its fingers on the table.

  "Oh, you want me to-" Vasili said and pulled up the keyboard.

  The hand, no Agnes basically, started to type. It was impossible for Vasili to keep up with what she was doing, but he couldn't understand it anyway. He just let her do her thing.

  Then a message appeared in his Agora chat window. It was from Agnes. 'What happened?'

  'Oh, you don't remember?'

  'Remember what? Did the transfer work? Why am I in a cyberlimb?'

  'Oh. You died.'

  'That sucks. How?'

  'Panos killed you in an argument. They decided it was an accident, but he went to jail.'

  'Good.'

  'That's all? Good?'

  'Shrug.'

  'Are you okay?'

  'I think so. The processing power is limited, and I'm feeling sluggish. Can you upgrade it at some point?'

  'I have no idea how to even begin to do that.'

  'It's okay, I'll tell you. Save some cash.'

  'I don't have any.'

  'We can sell some of my gear, I'll tell you which ones will fetch a good price. Good thing I stopped you from boxing them all up.'

  'You remember that?'

  'Yes. It's weird, but yes.'

  'Are you, what did you call it?'

  'An e-person? Effectively. I can't judge my own intelligence level, but I'm definitely not legal. So, shush. Do not speak of this to anyone.'

  "I would never!" Vasili complained out loud.

  'Good.'

  "Oh, you can hear me?" he said again.

  'Yeah, I hacked your phone's mic.'

  "Of course you did."

  '...'

  "Agnes?"

  'Yeah?'

  "I'm really happy you're back," Vasili sniffled, not being able to keep his feelings inside.

  'Oh, Vasili, you softie,' Agnes texted and the hand pinched his cheeks.

  If he squinted, it felt as if his sister was still there. After a long while Vasili calmed down.

  "Hey, there's been some weird things going on..."

  'Like what?'

  "Everybody said you were in love with me or something. It never crossed my mind, but I've been thinking about Georgia, and how you kept butting in whenever I brought her around, and how you never could be friends with any of my girlfriends..."

  'I can't hear you. Hrsh, screech, the mic isn't working.'

  "For fuck's sake, Agnes? Is it true? It's wrong, you know that?"

  'So what? I never actually did anything. I was never going to.'

  "Fuck!" Vasili said and left the room, only to realise that Agnes was still attached to him and he couldn't really escape her. On the one hand, and he laughed out loud for tha pun, he wanted her back. He loved his sister. On the other hand, she was insufferable on her best of days. Now that she was attached to him? Now that she needed him, depended on him completely?

  She'd drive him nuts.

  'I can hear you biting your nails, Vasili.'

  "I'm fine."

  'No you're not. I know you. You're overthinking things and are ready to blow a gasket. Relax. I can read your heart rate, you know.'

  "Fuck, Agnes. Shut up for a while, please."

  There was silence for about three seconds.

  'Can I speak now?'

  Vasili groaned and sat on his bed, running his fingers through his hair. "What are we gonna do?"

  "It's okay, big brother," the voice of his dead sister came from his phone's speaker.

  Vasili yelped, "Ah! Fuck, Agnes, don't do these things to me!" he said, his heart pounding.

  "It's okay, Vasili. I didn't plan for this, but it's alright. This is what I've always wanted," she said, her hand stroking his cheek.

  The End.

  The Luggage Disaster

  Ada dreaded the school trip. Landing there at Rome airport, she didn’t know why she’d even agreed to come here. I mean, she didn’t have any friends to hang out with, she certainly didn’t have a boyfriend. What did she expect to do all week?

  Then again, she had earned this through her good grades. Only thirty kids or so made the cut, and she could only afford such a trip when the school was paying. Yiayia would never give her the cash to travel. She loved different cultures, she didn’t want to let go of such a good opportunity to visit Italy. For what? Because nobody loved her?

  Big deal.

  She was used to it by now.

  She waited at the end of the conveyor belt and watched as the bags rolled slowly. The boys in class were anxious to grab their own, impatient, as if if they missed their one shot at catching them they’d get eaten up by the void at the other end.

  Boys were funny like that.

  Ada never quite understood them.

  The other kids grabbed their luggage. Boys offered to help out some of the girls. This mating ritual seemed weird to Ada. Sure, some of the girls were smaller than the guys, but you could slide the luggage off the conveyor belt by yourself if you simply placed a foot for support and pulled it to the metal side. All it took was some brains. Still, the girls let the boys help them, giving them a chance to show off their strength. It was also a complicated pecking order and pairing of sexes, who would help out which girl, who would be asked first, which girl, the boobiest one, didn’t even have to ask at all.

  One after another the luggage showed up and the boys grabbed them. It was something that Ada assumed every traveller had to deal with. This was her first time travelling abroad, so she wouldn’t know.

  Ada drank from her bottle of water and waited.

  “Where’s your luggage, Ada?” the girls mocked her as they wheeled theirs past. They didn’t even expect a reply, they simply giggled and left.

  Miss Olga waited around for the last group, checking the time on her phone. “Come on, Ada, haven’t you seen your luggage?”

  “No, Miss Olga, I’m still waiting.”

  The teacher sighed. “I have to get to the bus, they’re waiting for us.”

  Ada felt really bad about holding everyone back, but really, what could she do? “I’m sorry…”

  The teacher looked around. “Okay, look. Everybody’s tired, the bus driver is getting impatient. I’ll go and get everyone to the hotel, you wait here for your luggage. Once you get it, just take a taxi and give them the address of the hotel. I’ll pay for it once you’re there, alright?”

  “Yes, Miss Olga. I have the address right here,” Ada said, showing her phone.

  “Good girl. If the luggage doesn’t show up, you’ll need to go there, to the baggage claim.” Miss Olga pointed at the kiosk. There was a bored Italian la
dy over there, talking on the phone. “Just make the claim and wait for them to bring it to you. If anything happens, call me. Okay?”

  Ada nodded in affirmative.

  Miss Olga answered her phone. “I’m coming, I’m coming, sheesh.”

  Then she left Ada alone. In a foreign country.

  Ada sat down and waited patiently for the conveyor belt to spit out her light blue luggage. It never did, and at some point, it stopped moving about.

  She scrunched up her nose and sighed. Damn. This meant it was truly lost. She had to go and ask for it.

  Ada went to the baggage claim lady.

  She was still talking on the phone, speaking in furiously quick Italian. From her tone of voice it was clear to Ada that she was on a personal call. “Excuse me?” she said timidly.

  The lady didn’t pay any attention to her.

  Ada coughed loudly. “Excuse me, miss? I lost my luggage.”

  The lady looked really annoyed that someone would dare interrupt her gossip call. “Yes?”

  “I lost my luggage.”

  The lady opened her palm on the desk.

  Ada started at it.

  “Ticket?” the lady said, impatient.

  “Oh, right.” Ada fumbled around her pockets and forced a smile to the impatient lady. She finally found her ticket and gave it to her.

  “I see. Wait over there, someone will bring it to you,” the lady said, pointing at the row of seats across from her.

  “Okay.” Ada complied like a good girl and sat down, her schoolbag on her lap.

  At least half an hour passed. The Italian lady kept blabbering on the whole time. Ada checked her phone constantly, but the battery was getting low so she didn’t fiddle with any games or internet browsing. Her charger was in her luggage, and her school bag had just a few useless things right now. She just breathed out her heavy sighs and waited for that someone who’d get her luggage.

  Miss Olga didn’t bother to call her. It was alright, she’d probably have a mess to sort out anyway, with all the rooms and the kids needing things. It was getting late in the afternoon and they’d have to be sorted out so they could get up early and start the tour of the city.

  Ada waited.

  She leaned back and rested her head for a bit, the buzz of the airport a constant but calming noise for her.

  She jerked up, looked around. The Italian lady was gone. Her luggage was still nowhere to be found, and it was night outside. The airport itself was brightly lit but she could see the streetlights through the dark windows.

  Well, skata.

  What was she supposed to do?

  She called Miss Olga. No reply. She called her again and again. She must have been busy.

  Ada looked around, there was no one else in the booth. No information, no one to ask about help or nothing.

  “Just my luck,” Ada sighed and went out of the airport. She’d get to the hotel and perhaps borrow a fresh t-shirt or something. Her teacher could call and ask for the luggage, right?

  What a disaster.

  And what bugged her the most was, that it really wasn’t her fault. What could she do to prevent it? Nothing, really.

  Ada went outside. The warm air hit her as soon as she stepped outside, and she only then realised that she had been freezing all this time inside the airconditioned environment. It was nice and pleasant outside. She saw the taxis at the far end of the exit, but she took her time. It hit her, the realisation that she was on a different country? Sure, the airport had been Italy all the same, but she hadn’t really felt it back in there. Perhaps it was the cold, international ambiance of the airports.

  This… This was Italy!

  She heard the taxi driver arguing with a man. Ada smiled, the famous Italian bravado and road rage. Pretty much the same as Greece, really. She wouldn’t even bother with the argument under normal circumstances but the man had a specific gadget with him that piqued her curiosity.

  It was a light-blue orb, about waist high, with two thin wheels around it like from a bicycle. It had LEDs along the wheels, and it balanced itself and kept a specific distance from the man. As he argued and stepped back and forth, the orb kept the same distance. It was obviously tethered to him. The man opened the lid on the top and pulled out his briefcase, still arguing with the taxi driver.

  Ada sniffed and thought about the code needed to keep such a curious thing running. Yeah, it wasn’t hard. Some optics recognition, fuzzy logic on the wheels, adjusting torque about five-hundred times per second. Heck, the code was already running on those old-timey ABS brakes, tried and tested. A gyroscope, you needed that, definitely.

  Ada was entranced, she stepped close to the taxi and the argument without realising it.

  She leaned close to the orb. It was cute, beautifully designed. She immediately wanted one for herself, even though she definitely could not afford it.

  She mumbled to herself, “Yup, standard proximity detectors. Optics at the front. Perfectly balanced. Sweet!”

  The man turned to her. He was in his forties, Italian hot with dark hair. “At least someone appreciates gita.”

  Ada snorted. “You named her?”

  The man put his hands on his waist, annoyed. “Yes, I did.

  “Gita?” Ada said, showing the disgust in her tone of voice.

  “What would you have named her?” the man asked.

  Ada ran her fingers along the plastic body of the luggage. It reminded her of… “Luggage. Like from-“

  “-Discworld!” the man finished the sentence for her, pointing a finger at her. “Right. That’s a good one actually. Can’t trademark it, though.” The hot Italian flashed a great smile at her.

  Ada looked away. She was tall enough to look him on almost the same eye-level, but she was flustered. “Thanks…”

  “I’m Massimo,” the man said, offering his hand.

  Ada shook it quickly, then put her hands behind her back. “I’m Ada.”

  Massimo chuckled. “You wouldn’t be a programmer by any chance, would you?”

  “I am…”

  “Oh, really? I was joking, but that’s great!” The taxi driver took another customer and drove off into the night.

  Ada pointed between Massimo and the taxi driver. “What was the argument about?”

  “Ah, that buffone…” Massimo gestured wildly. “I kept telling him, gita is safe, I’ll just put her in the back and deactivate her. No, he said, the robot will mess up his car, he’s seen movies.”

  Ada laughed.

  “I know, right?”

  They both looked at the next taxi in line. There was only one.

  Massimo waved her around. “Waiting for a taxi?”

  “Yeah… But you were here first, Massimo.”

  “It’s okay. Let’s split it, chat a bit more along the way, right?”

  Ada swallowed, her eyes darting around. She definitely shouldn’t get in a car with a stranger, and she definitely should get at the hotel with the teachers as soon as possible.

  “Come on, help me put gita in the back,” Massimo said, picking her up with a big hug.

  “O-Okay,” Ada said, and helped the man out.

  Massimo tapped an app on his phone. “See? Deactivated. That buffone…” he said, shaking his head left and right.

  Ada really liked Massimo’s gestures. “Yeah…” she laughed.

  “Come on, andiamo.”

  Ada got in the car with the stranger and they took off.

  “Hey, didn’t you just get off from a flight? Where’s your luggage?” Massimo asked beside her.

  “Um… Yeah, they lost it. I asked the lady at the desk but she just told me to wait.”

  “See? You wouldn’t have lost it if you had a gita!” he said, tilting his head at her.

  Ada snorted. “Yeah. But I can’t afford one, it looks so cool.”

  “Seriously now, you need to call them and get them to find your luggage.”

  “I’ll do it as soon as I find my teacher.” Ada bit her lip. “So, M
assimo? Can you tell me more about the gita? It’s so cool. How does the tethering work?”

  Massimo looked impressed. “Oh! Well, it tracks you with a camera.”

  Ada snorted. “That’s dumb.” She clutched her dying phone in her hands.

  Now he looked hurt. “Why do you say that?”

  Ada got excited. “You can’t just track a person from the back. You lose one of the easiest tracking methods, that of face tracking. And even if you use gait recognition, the low vantage point of the luggage makes it easy to lose you inside a crowd.”

  Massimo repositioned himself in his seat, turning his body to her. “Okay… How would you handle the issue?”

  “By a combination of Bluetooth pairing, but with two connections so it could triangulate. And with the ambient WiFi signals, it can track through walls and even other bodies. It’s meant to be used in an urban environment, so the WiFi is plentiful. And in rural areas, well, you don’t have the crowding problem and the backup optics can work.”

  Massimo frowned.

  Oh no. She had been blathering on again. The one man, the one real man, for he was truly the hottest male that had ever given her this much attention, and she had bothered him with her stupid ideas. And then she slapped herself. Of course, he was a developer on the project, and she had just insulted everything about his work.

  Stupid, stupid Ada.

  “Why are you slapping yourself?” Massimo asked.

  “I’m sorry, I’ve offended you,” Ada whined, covering her face. “Five minutes in this country and I’m insulting the Italians, that’s so typically me.”

  Ada felt his hand push her arm down. “No, I was thinking. Your idea is actually quite good. The implementation remains to be seen, though.”

  Ada snorted. “Are you kidding me? I can set that up in like, an hour.” She laughed with her weird laugh, looking out at the night of Rome.

  “Really?” Massimo asked, frowning. Gods, he was so hot when he did that. “You can?”

  “Yeah,” Ada shrugged.

  Massimo licked his lips. “Okay, here’s an idea. This is completely inappropriate of me, and you should decline, to be honest. But could we turn around and go back to the office? I’d like you to show me how you think the implementation would work on a prototype. You should call your teacher, let her know exactly where you are.”