Forever Lost

by Laura Morgan

  Leo respected Tina simply because she was a clever, considerate, and discreet subordinate who had supported him right from the start of their friendship. Tina had tutored him through college, and in return he’d helped the shy, timid girl change into the powerful and unashamedly intellectual woman she was today. She’d stuck around as Leo rose to power, and he appreciated her years of service.

  He’d had Tina maintain his workload and ensure that his accounts and business dealings were kept out of sight from both the American authorities and tax office. She never attended his sordid parties—his men wouldn’t respect her if she did—so her personal life was kept completely separate from her work. The two never overlapped, and Leo had worked hard to keep it that way. He didn’t like to share, and Tina was his most valuable asset, even if she could be a pain in the ass at times.

  “That’d be great. Make sure she has long, dark hair and brown eyes,” Leo told her. “Big tits and a skinny waist.” He knew Tina would never ask him why he needed extra relief from his sexual needs after spending the last two nights with Cassie. She knew better than to question him.

  “Consider it done.” She made a small note on the corner of her note pad.

  Leo nodded to her and then stepped closer, pinning his employee to the wall behind her. “Good, and you ever pull something like last night again, and I will be forced to punish you. You’ve always been a good girl, a perfect assistant, and I would hate for that dynamic to be ruined now,” Leo said, stroking her cheek in an affectionate manner, and Tina trembled before him, nodding profusely.

  For a long time during their younger years, he knew Tina had considered herself his only friend, until he had made the transition from drug-dealer to drug-lord and no longer had any friends, only employees. Their relationship had stayed strong, though, and he had afforded her many benefits for staying loyal and trustworthy during his rise to power.

  Their dynamic had then taken a darker turn a few years ago when she had drunkenly propositioned him one night, and he had quickly put her back in her place. After that night, Leo had played on her embarrassment and manipulated the usually strong woman to serve his needs better, effectively creating a dominant/submissive relationship between them that he openly enjoyed.

  Tina’s rewards were never sexual. Instead he rewarded her with gifts and generous cash bonuses, knowing she enjoyed the materialistic things in life, and she lapped it up despite it being a somewhat chauvinistic approach. But with that dynamic also came the punishment side of things. He had only had to do it a couple of times but had made it quite clear he was more than willing to do so whenever necessary.

  “I’m sorry. Please don’t punish me,” she whimpered, staring down at the floor.

  “I won’t unless I have to, you know that. You disobeyed my orders last night. Do you think you deserve to be punished?”

  Tina shook her head again.

  He remembered the first time he had done it. Leo had called her over to him while he was at his office desk to discuss her attempt to hide one of his dealers’ discrepancies in his takings. The dealer had been beaten and robbed one night outside a club, the culprits had been found and dealt with, but the earnings were short until his takings could be found. Tina had neglected to inform Leo only because his second in command, Tyler, had assured her the cash would be there in the next take. Without a word of warning Leo had slapped her hard across the face, just a backhander, but her cheek had been red for days.

  The second time, he had shut her in one of the panic rooms of the vast house, keeping her locked up for only a couple of days, but it was more than enough to set off a panic attack. Tina was claustrophobic, a fact he had known all along.

  She clearly didn’t want to be punished again, and stood silently as Leo pinned her to the wall. He kept her there for a few seconds, and then wandered off in search of Ivan, eager for another training session.

  At noon, Leo was at his desk, watching his movie files of Cassie in both her apartment and in the guest bedroom of his home. He was already hard, watching his delectable lover as she pleasured herself, her friends, and Leo on the screen, and by the time he heard a quiet knock at his office door he was more than ready to pounce on whoever was on the other side of it.

  “Come in,” he barked, watching as the door slid open. In walked a stunning woman, just the right likeness to Cassie. Leo smiled. Tina had outdone herself and was well and truly forgiven.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Solomon. Where do you want me?” the woman asked, sliding off her dress and revealing her naked body. Leo stood and pushed back his chair, creating room for her on the desk before him.

  “Bend over,” he commanded, and she quickly moved in front of him, sliding her torso down onto the desk. Leo unbuttoned his pants, sliding them down with his shorts, and removed them along with his shoes. His shirt came off next, leaving his naked body on show, but he didn’t let the woman look at him. He was not hers to enjoy.

  Leo muted the laptop and pressed play, ensuring that his favorite scenes continued to play for him as he slid on a condom and pushed his throbbing hard-on inside his substitute for the real thing. The woman groaned as he pressed himself inside of her wet cleft. He slapped her ass cheek, ordering her to stay quiet while he proceeded to achieve the satisfaction he so desperately craved from the woman he watched on the screen.

  Leo was tender, gentle, and even considerate with the woman, as he would endeavor to be with Cassie when the time came. He used this time as practice so when he finally slid inside his lover’s ready body he would not be tempted to push her before she was ready. When he was finally satisfied, Leo pulled out, discarded the condom, and got himself dressed.

  “You may leave.” He snapped the laptop closed so she couldn't see what was on the screen, and the woman immediately stood and climbed back into her dress. “Come back the same time tomorrow,” he added, barely bothering to look at her.

  “As you wish,” she whispered before leaving him there alone.

  Leo’s phone made a low chirping sound that indicated he had a text message. He fished it out of his jacket pocket and checked it, finding a message from Cassie, and he smiled broadly. In some strange way he had an ecstatic, excited feeling as if he had just been with her, rather than inside some faceless, nameless substitute, and he had to contain his afterglow in case he gave himself away.

  It just so happens I’m now free tonight. Fancy dinner at my place?

  The message read.

  Absolutely, I’ll bring Chinese food.

  Leo sent back, before sliding his phone back in his pocket and settling down to do some work.

  Chapter 15

  Within a few weeks, the pair of them grew closer. Leo let himself be genuine and comfortable around Cassie in a way he had not been with anyone in years. He told her he thought about her day and night, more than ready to take their relationship further, but he was being a perfect gentleman and respecting her boundaries.

  He took her along to all of his social gatherings now, and every one of his men knew Cassie as his girlfriend and treated her with respect and even a little hint of fear. They all knew their actions toward her were watched by their all-knowing boss, so maintained their friendly demeanors and kind guises with her at all times.

  She enjoyed the gentler way of them, despite knowing full well she was in the company of henchmen, drug-dealers, and pimps who would act very differently if she were just another of Leo’s whores. Cassie soon grew used to being in the company of criminals, though. Her ease came quicker than she would have anticipated, and soon began getting to know Leo’s closest men by their first names, enquiring after their wellbeing, and even chatting with some of them when she saw them. This group of bandits and bad guys soon became her group of friends, and it surprised Cassie how desensitized she had become to their trade.

  After a night on the town with his handpicked cronies in the VIP area of his nightclub, Odyssey, Leo escorted Cassie home. Their mouths were locked the entire car ride, and she offered no
resistance when his hands slid inside her bra to caress her nipples. Cassie felt more alive than ever, ready to move things along a little at last. She readied herself for her final admissions, grateful he had taken her out drinking and dancing so she felt carefree, and was glad of the Dutch courage she felt coursing through her veins.

  Once inside her apartment, Leo turned back to the caring, gentle man he had been on so many nights before, and he immediately ran Cassie a hot bath. He filled it with far too many bubbles, concealing her body from view completely. When he returned to the small bathroom with a glass of wine, Cassie didn’t even flinch at being naked with him there. She knew with each passing moment of sexual tension and every intense conversation, their bond was cementing even more firmly.

  “Don’t go, we need to talk,” she whispered, her tone fraught with fear and pent up emotion, but he seemed to know she had important things to offload.

  “Sure love, of course I’ll stay,” he said, closing the lid of the toilet and taking a seat beside her. “What’s on your mind?” Leo waited as she took a sip of her wine and composed herself.

  “I need to tell you the whole story about what happened with Jonah,” Cassie replied. She watched as he tensed up, but Leo didn’t say a word. He was clearly ready to hear more at last. She knew he would hate hearing it, but his loving gaze spurred Cassie on. She took a deep breath and began, her eyes on everything except Leo.

  “In those awful days when Jonah had succumbed to his addiction and let it overpower every inch of his body and mind, he became a different person. He was a completely feral man. He had been using crack, and I had no idea about any of it. Apparently he’d been snorting cocaine for years to keep him alert because, in his words, caffeine wasn’t cutting it anymore. I couldn't reason with him. He didn’t sleep, and in those awful few days he lost everything about him that I ever loved.” She paused to take a long swig of her drink and a deep breath. When Cassie finally looked to her left, she caught Leo’s eyes on her.

  “Carry on, love. I’m ready.”

  “Well, we started out just going at it like mad in the bedroom, more intense and harder than ever before, and I let him. In all honesty, I enjoyed it, but then after a while I had to tell him enough was enough. I only needed to use the bathroom. That was all it took to send him over the edge. Jonah snapped and beat the shit out of me. He handcuffed me to the bed, gagged me and did all the depraved things his tormented mind could come up with, not just rape,” Cassie said, trembling. She finished off her wine and placed the glass down onto the floor beside her.

  Leo stayed quiet, seemingly lost in his own thoughts as he fiddled with the button on his shirt.

  “He cut me,” Cassie said, continuing with her story again, breaking Leo’s reverie with the hard truth. He stood and began pacing the small bathroom with his head in his hands. “Jonah said he wanted to make sure I was hideous. He wanted it so no one would ever want to touch me, or look at me again. I’ve had surgery, but there are still scars. I can’t even bring myself to look at them, let alone anyone else. I know I should’ve been honest from the start that it was more than just the ordeal holding me back, but how do I tell someone this terrible truth? How can I let you see when I know you’ll just pity me and walk away? I’m so ashamed. I hate him, and I hate myself for becoming a victim.” Tears fell as she despaired over the constant reminder of her past.

  For a while Leo said nothing. He stopped pacing and sat back down, staring at his hands thoughtfully and rubbing at his eyes. Cassie climbed out of the hot water and quickly wrapped herself in a towel, dressing in record speed before standing in front of the still somber man. She stroked his hair, desperate to know what he was thinking, and she gasped when he peered up at her with tears in his eyes.

  “You are not a victim, Cassie. You told me that the first night we met, and I believe it. I only pity victims, so I would never pity you.” Leo grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer to him, burying his face in her stomach. “I’m a man of my word. I never make promises I cannot keep, and I promise you right now that I will never walk away. If we end, it’ll be because I’ve fucked up somewhere down the line, or hurt you. Either way, it’ll be you who leaves me, because I know with all of my heart I could never leave you. I’m not strong enough to keep my distance, and we both know that.”

  Cassie’s walls came crumbling down.

  “How do you do that, Leo?” she asked, drawing his gaze back up to meet hers. “How can you take my crazy and make it sane, when no one else before you has managed it? How do you see me at my worst and then somehow make it better?”

  “Because my crazy is ten times worse than yours, Cassie, and I’m terrified you’re gonna find me out. I’ve never answered to anyone, never had to feel guilty, because I've never cared before. But now there's you, and in your eyes I see myself laid bare. I’m ashamed at what I see. This is killing me, but I cannot get enough,” Leo murmured, a single tear breaking through his barricades as he spoke.

  Cassie fell to her knees, kissing away the droplet that now lay on his top lip before covering his mouth with hers. Neither one could bear how exposed they felt at revealing all, but the freedom was also enlightening. Cassie felt hopeful for the first time in over two years, excited and ready for more at long last.

  She took Leo’s hand and led him toward her room, stopping only when they were inside. She switched off the lights, engulfing them in complete darkness. Cassie traced her fingers over his lips, following her fingertips with her mouth, and Leo followed her lead, seemingly eager for more. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head, their mouths apart for only a second before they found each other again, and she pushed him backward. Together they took slow steps and stopped when they felt the side of her bed press against his calves.

  ***

  Leo let her take the lead completely, following every one of Cassie’s silent commands. He delighted in the touch and taste of her while temporarily blind, as though his other senses were heightened due to the darkness. Her hands ripped open his fly and pulled his pants down, freeing his hard-on, and she gripped it, pulling rhythmically before sliding down to take him in her mouth.

  He groaned, a low, guttural sound he could tell drove Cassie crazy. She sped up, spurred on by his need, and swallowed him down as he came. After, she pushed Leo back onto the bed, and he laughed. He kicked the bunched-up jeans and boxer shorts from his feet, sliding higher on the bed in anticipation of whatever might come next.

  Cassie pulled off her nightdress and panties before she climbed on top of him, leaning over her lover with her knees either side of his hips. Her wet opening was just inches from his barely satisfied member, but he made no move to push her down onto him. Leo sensed her trepidation and slid his hands down her sides, gripping her ass cheeks and pulling her closer, needing her kiss, but not going anywhere near her forbidden treasure. Cassie grabbed one of his hands, closing it into a fist before allowing his index finger to slide free, and Leo gasped when he suddenly felt her wetness on the tip.

  “Only touch what I let you, Leo,” she whispered, sliding his finger in deeper. He stayed as still as possible, completely enthralled by the woman he wished he could see, and the body she was opening up for him. Cassie stopped, pulling him out of her. He groaned in protest, but she just laughed. She pulled his middle finger free of his fist, and performed the same move as before, holding onto his balled fist tightly as she slid the two fingers into her wet, hot cleft.

  Cassie moved her hips back and forth on his fingers, driving him wild. She came quickly, her body pulsating around him, and as she slid him out of her one last time, Leo finally felt some of her scars. They were just thin lines either side of her opening, but he didn’t say a word or do anything other than lick his fingers clean of her delicious juices, unable to help himself.

  Chapter 16

  When Leo awoke the next morning, the dawn light was pouring into Cassie’s room, and she lay next to him, naked. His hands were around her back
as she slept, rather than fisted in her hair, and he was glad this night’s sleep had not been as fretful as their others. Each of them had fallen into an easy, restful sleep following their climaxes, and he grinned as he remembered how it had felt when she came around his deeply delving fingers.

  Her words replayed in his mind, and Leo stared up at the ceiling as guilt washed over him for the first time in his entire adult life. The abuse she’d suffered was terrible, but Leo knew it was nothing he hadn’t almost done himself in his past. He’d never consciously set out to hurt women, nor had he wanted to do it. Things had just progressed the wrong way during his past exploits, and had ended badly. He had no excuse for any of it, but he’d never needed to explain his actions either. He had never considered their effect on the woman on the receiving end.

  Leo hated the way he felt right now, realizing at last how awful he’d once been, and while he was angry with Jonah, he was even angrier with himself for having taken so much for granted.

  Cassie groaned as she roused. She was still naked, Leo realized. He knew she would panic when she woke up, so when he felt her stirring he pretended to still be asleep. Leo softened his grip and remained still when Cassie slid away and pulled on some shorts before climbing back into his embrace. She seemed satisfied that he hadn’t caught sight of her, and snuggled into him. Leo let her enjoy a few more minutes of dozing in his arms before he yawned and kissed the top of her head, pretending to have just woken up.

  “Oh no, look what you did,” he mumbled, pressing his erection into her hip, and Cassie giggled.

  “I did nothing!” she replied, feigning surprise.

  “Yes you did. I was just dreaming about you fucking my fingers again, and I got hard just thinking about it.” Leo traced his hand from her chin to her nipple, tweaking it gently and refusing to let her go coy on him. “I seem to remember you owing me a shot on these,” he added, stroking her breasts, and Cassie raised an eyebrow.