She smiles and reaches for Dylan as well. He lets Toby out as I follow Gabby to her room so she can change for bed. After Dylan and the dog return she climbs in bed and hands me a book. “This is my favorite.” I look at the cover, Goodnight, Moon. She’s out before I finish the book.
Dylan and I tiptoe out of the room and back to the living room. Jax is the only one left, the others having already gone to their rooms. When we enter, he stands. “Brooke, it was a fantastic dinner. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, Jax,” I tell him quietly.
“Okay, you two, I’m heading out. Dylan, I’ll call you. Have a good evening.” He nods his head and disappears out the door. I can’t judge his mood, so I give Dylan a questioning look.
“Don’t worry. It’s just Jax. He doesn’t do well with touchy-feely shit.” He moves to the sofa. “You wanna sit down for a while?” His voice is hopeful, but I need to go.
As much as I would love to sit down next to him I know that with the way my emotions are bouncing all over the place right now it would lead to places we just can’t go. I wouldn’t be able to call an end to it now, because here in this moment, I would love nothing better than to give myself to Dylan Monroe, heart, and soul.
“I can’t, Dylan. I’m sorry, but I need to go home. It’s been a long day, and I just need to….I need to go. But I had a wonderful time today, and I’m so happy you asked me to be a part of it. And I want to apologize for Alex and Trevor for trying to ruin it for us.”
“Hey, it wasn’t all them. I know Jax had a hand in it as well. But right now, with Gabby speaking again, I’m just too happy to care about them right now.” He slides his arms around my waist and pulls me to him. “I promise we’ll have our time, Brooke. When it’s right, we’ll both get what we want, and there won’t be a damn one of them around us to stop it.”
He lands a soft kiss where my shoulder meets my neck causing a shiver to course through me. His touch, his promise, really has me believing every word he just said, so I don’t anything back because really what can I say?
When I arrive home, Trevor and Alex are waiting for me on the couch, just ready to pounce, I’m sure. But I’m not letting their behavior go. I didn’t appreciate it and neither did Dylan and they need to be aware that I’m not happy about it. “You two know that the way you both acted today was completely unnecessary, and I’m regretting that I even asked you to join us. I can’t believe you guys embarrassed me like that.” They just look at me like I’m crazy. “Really? Neither of you has anything to say?”
Alex is the first to respond. “Uh, yeah. I’m not going to apologize. Once again, we probably saved your ass from making a huge mistake.”
“How do you figure? We were cooking dinner with children in the house. What? Did you think we were just going to rip each other’s clothes off right there in the kitchen between baking bread and making pies? Thank you, so fucking much for your unwarranted concern, Alex. But I’m telling you right now to stop. I’m sick of this. I’m sick of the fact that you think I have absolutely no control over myself and that Dylan doesn’t either. This has to stop because there is no way you can police us for the next seven months.” I finish. I’m hoping this is going to be the last of it because I honestly don’t think I can take any more of this from her.
She stares at me for a moment, and I guess she sees how serious I am about this. She stands up from her place on the couch and approaches me. “You’re right. From here on out, I’m done. You know right from wrong, and I’m just going to try trust you. I’m sorry about today, and please tell Dylan I apologize, but I swear to you Brooke, I am just trying to look out for you. I’m going to bed.” She gives me a quick hug before moving down the hall to her room and closing the door.
I stare after her for a moment before turning back to Trevor, and I notice he’s drinking more beer. “You haven’t had enough of that?” He stands up to go into the kitchen. When he returns, he’s carrying a glass of whiskey. Apparently not.
He takes his place back on the sofa and looks up at me. "You still want to tell me there's nothing between you and Dylan?”
I sit down next to him, "No I'm not going to tell you that because I'm sick of repeating myself. And what the hell was that between you two?"
"I just don't trust him."
"Well, there's no reason for you not to. What, because he owns a house and has a nice kitchen, he’s untrustworthy? What the hell does that have to do with anything? He has a family he has to take care of, Trevor."
"That’s not why I don’t trust him, and I had a house not that long ago." He grins flirtatiously and moves his hand down to my thigh. “Does that make me trustworthy?”
Great. I'm not in the mood for this. I move his hand, "Right. That you shared with your wife."
He looks a little irritated at my statement. “Yeah, with her.”
I soften my tone a little. "Trevor, what happened with you two? You seemed perfect for each other."
He takes another drink. “Like I said, she was too fucking jealous."
"Did she have a reason to be?"
"I never cheated on her, I know that's what you think, but I would never do that. She just hated all the groupies that followed us and were backstage, but while we were together, I was faithful."
I feel guilty because that is what I had assumed happened. "I'm sorry. Maybe you guys can work it out."
A bitter laugh comes from him, "No, we’re done." He moves closer and doesn’t say anything else, but he does lean over and crash his lips into mine. It takes me a second to realize what is going on, then I push him away. "What the hell are you doing?"
He looks at me calmly, "I don't know, I just thought we could help each other out."
"What? How?"
"Well, I’m fucking horny as hell, and you obviously are lusting after a guy you can't have, so I thought we could help each other relieve a little tension."
Ugh. I stand up and clench my fists angrily at my sides. "I care about you Trevor and consider you family, but let me make myself clear, there will never be anything sexual between us again. Never. Not in a million years."
I stomp off to my room and close the door behind me. Relieve some tension. Did he seriously just say that to me? I know I'm wound up tight, but I can't believe he would even think I would consider that. Only one man can relieve this tension, and Trevor’s right, I can’t have him.
Can I?
Chapter 21
Dylan
It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and I have until Monday off with the kids. I’m lying in bed awake at the ass-crack of dawn when I could be sleeping off that last piece of pie I killed at midnight. Well, I might as well run it off. I’ve always liked running, weather permitting, and so far Kansas weather this year has allowed me to keep it up, though admittedly when having to make sure four kids get off to school on time every morning hasn’t always allowed me to be consistent. Thankfully in the second garage, Jax and Luke helped me set up a full gym to stay in shape. It’s even better than the one we had in Oklahoma.
This morning the air is brisk but not terrible for a five-mile run. As I make my way through the neighborhood streets, I think about the previous day, and of course, front and center is Brooke. I can’t believe what she has done for my family. My attraction to her aside, she is the most incredible person I have ever met, and she never expects anything in return. In the back of my mind, I have to wonder why her career is so important to her. I have to wonder if her true passion is helping people like mine is with cars. But I also have to wonder if something else drives her to social work.
The fact that she cared enough to make Thanksgiving so special for us blows my mind. That was undoubtedly above and beyond the call of a social worker. But again, she’s gone above and beyond on many other occasions from the beginning. Just months ago there was no way I would have trusted her to the extent I do now. As it is nearly every situation or decision that comes up thoughts of what Brooke would think filter in, and that alone makes me cr
azy. And there is no way I can ignore the fact that my little sister, who was so traumatized she didn't talk for over four months, finally spoke last night. I'm still stunned and spent a lot of last night wondering if she is going to talk to me or the other kids or if it's just Brooke she feels comfortable talking to. Honestly. I don't care if she doesn't talk to me for a while as long as she keeps progressing and talking to someone, and if that someone is Brooke, then that’s fine too.
After five miles I stop in my front yard and start stretching to cool down before going inside. I'm sweaty and exhausted when I open the door and head straight to my room for a shower. Gabby walks out of her room just as I’m passing and for a moment, I freeze wondering what to do. I decide just to act normal. “Good morning, Gabby."
She gives me a small smile, and I hold my breath waiting to see if she's going to speak to me. "Morning."
Her sweet little voice nearly brings me to my already exercise-weakened knees. I let a small breath in relief. Holy shit. I want to hug her, but stop myself when I remember that I'm all sweaty. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe I shouldn't act like it's a huge deal, even though it is. I pat her head instead, "I'm gonna take a quick shower then I'll be in to make you breakfast. Whatever you want."
I make it through my shower on a high. I want to call Brooke and tell her that Gabby spoke to me this morning because of course my first thought is to call Brooke. I'm so fucking confused. I know I want her, it’s just all of these other bullshit things messing with my head. For one, I’ve never been jealous of a man a day in my life, well not over a woman anyway, but yesterday I could have flattened Trevor. I can’t stand the fact that he’s there, that they have a history that goes beyond their one-night stand, and that he wants her.
What pisses me off the most is that it would be so easy for her to be with him. The safer choice. Fuck. Why wouldn't she? He's there. No threat to her precious fucking job. The thought makes me sick, but I feel helpless, and that’s not a something I like feeling at all.
I dry off and stand naked at the sink. My reflection is still the same; young, good looking, and ripped. I know from years of experience that it’s not just my bank account that attracts women to me so easily because I had my pick of women before I had the bank. I can’t even think of any time I had to chase a woman or even fucking wanted to for that matter. It's amazing how my physical reflection hasn't changed a bit, but I feel like a totally different person lately.
That’s why yesterday when Trevor basically called me out for being boring now I lost my cool. I’ve been my own man for years. Always down to party and down to fuck, and I miss that man. I’m in the exact situation now that kept me from my family for the last three years. I don’t do well with my independence being in jeopardy. I don’t regret the choice I’ve made to give it up for my family, but I don’t know if I could do it for a woman. Having Trevor hammer home all the truths of my life now scared me as much as it pissed me off, and my first thought was to react how I had always done before, with my fists. I don’t know what would have happened if Brooke wouldn’t have stepped in.
I get dressed and walk out to the living room where all four kids are now. All still in pajamas, I look at Gabby. "Alright kiddo, what do you want for breakfast?"
She thinks about it for a second a then says, "Pancakes?" The other kids are clearly excited that Gabby is speaking now, but it's Luke's face that I notice. He's got a huge, goofy grin on his usually pissed off face.
"That I can do." I head into the kitchen, and Cassie jumps up and follows me.
"Can you believe this?" She asks excitedly.
She's giddy, and I feel the same way, things haven't felt this good for a long time, and for the first time in a while, I feel like things will be okay. I shake off the negative thoughts from earlier. This is my life. I smile at her. "Yeah, I can. We’re all going to be alright."
I grab the cookbook Brooke bought for me, then gather everything I need to make pancakes. Cassie begins helping me and then stuns me by saying, "It's all because of Brooke. I don’t know what magic she did, and I don’t know what we would do without her.”
I tense up at the thought. I don't want to think about life without Brooke. Damn. Shake it off, man. Don't want to imagine life without her? I'm in big fucking trouble. I need to try to get this girl under me so I can work her the fuck out of my system. The only the problem is, I can't seem to get her alone.
We have a nice breakfast. Gabby says a couple of things, but is still pretty quiet, but I’ll take what I can get. The rest of the weekend is laid back and relaxing. We all revel in Gabby’s emergence from silence. Other than a few texts messages there’s been nothing from Brooke, and that worries me because I would hate to think that the standoff with Trevor might have driven her into his bed because I don’t think she like that “my cocks bigger than yours show.”
On Monday, the kids go back to school, and I head into the garage. Jax came over on Saturday, and neither one of us brought up Thanksgiving. He knows it pissed me off with what he thought was a cock block, but since the evening did end on the note it did, I’m willing to let it go. We aren't going to sit around and talk everything out, and honestly, we don't have to. That’s why our friendship works; we both hate sharing feelings and shit, and we know when to shut up. Honestly, all the bullshit that’s been going on since we came to Kansas has been more than we’ve ever shared. And of-fucking-course, Brooke is right in the goddamn middle.
I didn't tell him about my small altercation with that fucking douchebag Trevor either. It just doesn't need to be brought up, because at the end of the day I know Jackson will have my back if I need him and vice versa.
I walk past the receptionist, Carolyn, who I hired myself this time. She’s in her late 40s, married, and three children, totally safe. She's an awesome, no-nonsense woman, and there is zero possibility of me fucking her. She's the anti-Joy. I don't need anything like that again.
Speaking of Joy, she called me yesterday and left a message asking if Jax and I would like to bring the kids down for the company Christmas Party. It's the 23rd because we always close for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I talked to Jax about it, and he said he's in if I am. But I'm not sure about seeing Joy again, especially with the kids in tow. That chick is a wildcard if her texts are anything to judge by. I think my phone call earlier didn’t send the right memo or she didn’t quite get the memo. It’s the chance to see the crew again that makes my decision, so I send Joy a short text telling her we’ll be there.
I greet Carolyn on the way to my office and set up a few meetings. Overall I’m still riding the high of Thanksgiving and the weekend and having a good day. I find myself checking my cell phone constantly. I haven't heard from Brooke since Thursday night even though I sent several texts letting her know about Gabby’s progress. And I just really wanted to hear from her because I wanted to. I had thought for sure that she would call to check up on Gabby, but nope, nothing, not even a quick text answering mine. I’m hanging onto the fact that it's work related, because if I entertain the possibility that she might have hooked up with Trevor, I’ll go out of my mind. That thought makes me cringe. There's no way. The way she looked at him when she broke up our argument told me she was as irritated with him as I was. Well, maybe not as much as I was, but close. The last several hours of work are a bust because of the thoughts of that jackass touching Brooke on repeat in my mind.
Tuesday I’m not feeling much better because I still have not heard from her. It’s been radio silence. I leave work early excited to see her. Maybe I can get her alone for a bit tonight. Convince her to stay for dinner and hang out. Tuck the younger kids in for bed and... And what?
Ah, the days when I would just go to a club, pick out a girl and after we had fucked that was it. But with Brooke, what would it be? Would one time be enough? Or would we fuck a couple of times and then be done? Would we just slip right back into social worker and client? Shit, would I even want that? I park my car in the garage and go inside. The kids
get home a little while later, and we pick up a little around the house while waiting for her to arrive.
I jump up when I hear the doorbell. Settle the fuck down, dude. I open the door, and there she is. Angels didn’t sing, I’m not that stupid sappy, but damn if the blood didn’t start humming through my veins, all heading south, at the sight of her. I notice she looks frazzled and worn out, but still gorgeous. I notice she’s still in her work clothes instead of her jeans and t-shirt she’s been wearing for the last few months. What nearly kills my boner is that she has no bag with a change in it.
"Hi." Yep, that’s all I’ve got.
She smiles as she walks in quickly, "Hi, I'm so sorry I haven't called. It's been insane since Friday. The holidays seem to bring the worst out of people, and I've constantly been running trying to get everything in order. I've had tons of paperwork, but you have no idea how badly I've wanted to find out how things with Gabby have been, I..."
I try to calm her and put my hand on her shoulder, "Brooke, breath. It's okay. Really. Things have been great. I figured you were busy with work." More like prayed to every deity known and even some I made up.
Her shoulders relax slightly along with the rest of her, "Oh good, has she been talking more?"
I nod, smiling, "Yeah. Still short sentences, but she's opening up. It's unbelievable."
She looks happy about that, and I'm relieved that she's just been busy at work as I had initially thought and hoped. "I'm so glad, Dylan. It sounds like things are going good which is a relief because I might have to cut today a little short."
I can't hide the disappointment on my face, "Why?"
She looks at me with the same disappointment, "I'm sorry, but I have to go back to the office and take care of a couple of things before going to meet Trevor and Alex for Trevor’s goodbye dinner."
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