Whispers of My Skin

by Susana Mohel

  Whispers of My Skin by Susana Mohel

  Copyright © 2016 Susana Mohel

  ISBN-13: 978-1987439403

  ISBN-10: 1987439406

  Cover design by Sue C. Hoffman

  Editing by Griffin Editing Services

  Proofreading by JDP & Elisa Marie Hopkins

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Playlist

  Chapter　One

  Chapter　Two

  Chapter　Three

  Chapter　Four

  Chapter　Five

  Chapter　Six

  Chapter　Seven

  Chapter　Eight

  Chapter　Nine

  Chapter　Ten

  Chapter　Eleven

  Chapter　Twelve

  Chapter　Thirteen

  Chapter　Fourteen

  Chapter　Fifteen

  Chapter　Sixteen

  Chapter　Seventeen

  Chapter　Eighteen

  Chapter　Nineteen

  Chapter　Twenty

  Epilogue

  Want to read more of Joel’s Story?

  Acknowledgments

  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race,

  I have kept the faith.

  2 Timothy 4:7

  Always for you, my warrior princess.

  ღ

  The Cranberries – Animal Instinct

  Metallica – Turn The Page

  Train – Marry Me

  Bon Jovi – Born To Be My Baby

  Roxette – It Must Have Been Love

  John Newman – Out Of My Head

  Muse – Unintended

  Shinedown – If You Only Knew

  Plumb – Cut

  Bryan Adams – Heaven

  Boyz II Men – I Swear

  Elvis Presley – Only You

  ღ

  Please God, don’t let the car overheat.

  Just let it keep going, please.

  Shit, the traffic light just turned red, damn it!

  I’m sorely tempted to ignore it and keep going.

  But the speed camera atop the metal structure stops me—I can’t afford the luxury of picking up a stupid traffic fine on top of everything else. In my previous existence, I wouldn’t have worried about such a trivial matter, but everything changes when you’re running on an empty bank account.

  Do I have the faintest clue what I’m doing?

  Not in the slightest. But don’t judge me, not when you know nothing about me or how I ended up in this God-awful predicament.

  I’m Tara.

  Tara Rhett. Nice to make your acquaintance.

  I glance once more at the dashboard of my old Mercedes Benz, or to be more precise the needle that marks the engine temperature. It doesn’t look good and I still have a long way to go.

  I have to get there, I must. It’s not that my life depends on it—not at the moment anyway—but my whole future is riding on where I’m headed.

  The damn light remains unchanged. All I see is red. Both the traffic light and the warning light indicating the engine could expire at any second. Much like my life really.

  For fuck’s sake, how much longer is this light going to keep me waiting here?

  Please change. Please. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

  Finally, finally the damn thing turns green, and I speed through the intersection as if I were driving a flashy sports car instead of this worn out heap. Thankfully the engine cools after a few minutes of easy running on the highway, and I heave a sigh of relief, because it looks as if I’m going to make it there now.

  I’ve no idea what I’m going to do if he turns me down. I don’t have a Plan B. I’m out of options and out of time.

  This has to work.

  One way or another.

  Don’t give up, you’re not a quitter, I keep telling myself. You can do this. Faith over fear, Tara.

  As I take the route instructed by the faceless voice on my phone, the landscape that stretches in front of me changes with every mile as I leave the city behind me. Fewer houses, less traffic, more trees, fresh air.

  I love the open country, I always have. I might be a city girl from San Antonio, but there’s always been something about the countryside that calls to me on a basic level. The peace intoxicates me, rescues me from the dark place where I’m mired in problems.

  Before too long, the computerized voice informs me that my destination is a few hundred feet ahead.

  The moment of truth has arrived.

  I’ve always hated asking for any kind of favors, or feeling indebted to anyone. That’s not my way.

  And yet, here I am swallowing my pride.

  “You have reached your destination,” the voice announces once more—as if I could have missed the large ‘Dale Ranch’ sign.

  It’s an older building, probably been here for at least fifty years, but it looks tidy and well maintained. The lawn has been recently cut and is still green despite the scorching heat. However, there’s not a single flower bed or decorative shrub, no chairs or tables with pretty umbrellas to sit under while sipping a cool beverage. Clearly, this is a functional, no-frills workplace, from the open doors of the barn and the warehouse, where some people are milling around, to the corral ahead of me.

  So far, so good.

  Taking a deep breath, I gather every last piece of courage as I slowly ease out of my car, put my cell phone in my purse, and head for the door.

  What if he doesn’t work here anymore?

  What if he’s moved on?

  What if he’s with someone else?

  Keep calm, Tara. Just keep walking, it’s the only way to you’re going to find the answers to all the ‘what if’s’.

  Single, and working at Dale Ranch since 2015.

  That’s all I have to go on, the only information I could gather using my social media stalking skills. We haven’t seen each other for more than twelve years. A lot of time has gone by, so he’s bound to have changed, as have I. Will he still be the same guy I remember?

  Hell, I hope so. I have to believe he will be, otherwise I’m screwed.

  “Can I help you?” The front door is opened by a tall, gray-haired man in his fifties before I’ve even had a chance to knock. He must have seen me driving up.

  This is it. The moment has come. There is no escape, no turning back. So where has my voice gone?

  “Erm, yes, hopefully you can,” I mumble, clearing my throat before continuing. The poor man must think I’m some kind of dumbass. He’s not far wrong there. Come on, Tara, for the love of God, just spit it out! I pull my shoulders back and state confidently. “I’m looking for Joel. Joel Sadger.”

  “Is he expecting you?” he queries, raising the bushy eyebrows that frame his kindly eyes.

  “No,” I admit. “Not really. Not at all actually.”

  “Ah, a surprise visit...” he winks and smiles again. I don’t know what he finds so amusing. He looks a little familiar, but I can’t place where from. “Lucky bastard must’ve done something right for a beautiful young lady like you to come calling. Guess you’d better step inside.”

  As he leads the way, I quickly whip out a small mirror from my bag to check my makeup still looks good.

  The man laughs when he notices. “No need to worry, darlin’. Joel’s a great guy, everyone thinks he’s the
best manager we’ve had in years.”

  His kind words help me to relax just a little.

  “I’m sorry, I’m just a little... nervous,” I explain, offering a weak smile as he nods sympathetically.

  I’m a mess. A bundle of nerves. A total nervous wreck.

  We walk down a long corridor, passing several closed doors until we reach the end. The guy stops at the farthest door, knocks a couple of times, then opens the door without waiting for an answer.

  “Joel, I’ve got a young lady here looking for you,” he calls into the room.

  “You mean Cassandra?”

  Just hearing his voice again has a thousand butterflies rampaging in my stomach. So many and so big, they’re more like pterodactyls than butterflies.

  The older guy turns to look at me.

  “Nope,” he answers as he studies me. “Definitely not Cassandra.” Who the hell is Cassandra?

  “Guess you’d better send this mystery woman in,” he says.

  I take a deep breath, forcing myself to walk in and not turn tail.

  The moment I’ve been avoiding these last weeks, months, years, has finally arrived.

  I’m going to see him again.

  Joel.

  As I walk in, his eyes widen in shock. Hardly surprising after twelve years. Those deep amber eyes slowly scan my body, checking me out from head to toe, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. It feels like an eternity although it’s only a few seconds before Joel gets up from his chair, while the other guy shuts the door as he leaves us alone together.

  He’s just as handsome as he always was, in fact, more so now that he’s matured into a man. Already I’m consumed by his presence. My heart beats wildly, my breathing becomes shallow. Everything’s changed, yet nothing has changed. His effect on me is just as strong as it always was. I want to throw myself into his arms, beg him to help me. But I force myself to keep my feelings under control.

  I have to, there’s too much at stake.

  “Tara?” he asks incredulously, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. “God, it’s been a long time.”

  “Hello, Joel.” My voice is quieter and more hesitant than I’d hoped, giving away my nervousness. “Yes, it has been a long time.”

  Neither of us says anything more. The silence crackles between us, the magnetism draws us in as we stare at each other.

  The years have been kind to him.

  Joel has matured from a good-looking boy into a downright dangerously hot and sexy man. With broad shoulders. Powerfully muscled arms. Thick, black, tousled hair worn shorter than before, but still begging for my fingers to run through it. Same goes for the dark scruff on his face.

  Woah, girl, calm your tits. Remember why you’re here. This is business, not pleasure. Well, it is and it isn’t, depending on how things go…

  I need a manager for my ranch. Just focus on that.

  The spell between us is broken when he jumps up and gestures towards a seat in front of his desk. “Sit down, Tara, please, you must think I have no manners. Can I offer you something to drink?”

  “Thank you, but this isn’t a social visit.”

  We sit facing one another. Joel leans back in his luxurious leather seat behind his large, masculine, dark wood desk, presenting the perfect picture of a commanding figure of authority, while I perch nervously on the edge of the low, uncomfortable chair in front of his desk. The whole scene puts me in mind of an errant school girl being hauled in front of the Principle, or a job interview that I’m vastly under qualified for.

  “Please, fill me in. I’m all ears,” he says, raising his eyebrows in askance.

  “Well, you see…” I’ve prepared and rehearsed this speech in my head over and over, yet I’m still struggling to get the words out. However, I force myself to continue. “Since my father unexpectedly passed away, we’ve encountered all kinds of problems running the ranch, since neither my mother nor I had any idea how to manage things. Then she married again and let her new husband take over—unfortunately with disastrous results.”

  Joel raises his eyebrows again, bridging his fingertips and resting them against his mouth, as he digests the facts.

  “And what exactly does that have to do with me?” he frowns.

  “I need a manager, someone to take care of the ranch, to deal with all the day to day issues as and when they come up,” I elaborate.

  “You want me to recommend someone? I could come up with a list of suitable candidates if that would help,” he suggests, running his hands through his hair and mussing it up in such a sexy way that I virtually have to sit on my hands to stop myself reaching out to touch it. I always loved his hair…

  “No,” I confess, shaking my head to force these foolish thoughts away “I need more than an employee. I need someone who loves the land, who would care for Redlands as his own.”

  I take a deep breath and just come straight out with it. “I came because I want you.”

  Wow, that didn’t come out quite how I’d planned it, but we both ignore the heavy double meaning.

  “I already have a job here, Tara,” he states. “It’s a good position on an excellent ranch, and I hadn’t planned on leaving any time soon.”

  “I understand that, but I just thought, I hoped maybe…” I whisper, and in my head, all my arguments crumble.

  He’s not interested.

  “If that’s all you came for, then I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse me. We’re real busy right now, and the work won’t get done by itself,” he cuts me off. “If you want that list of potential candidates, leave me an email address and I’ll make a few calls on your behalf, see what I can come up with. So, if that’s all everything, I’ll show you out.”

  He stands from his chair and indicates the way out.

  But this isn’t over yet. I haven’t said all I came to say.

  “Wait,” I say before he drags me out of the office. “I have something else to offer you. Something I’m sure you’ll be interested in.”

  “Oh? And what exactly might that be?” he asks skeptically.

  “Me.” I hold my chin up defiantly. Please don’t let him reject me. Or laugh me out of the place.

  “You? What the hell are you talking about, Tara?”

  “If you do this for me, if you come and work at Redlands, then I’ll become your lover. Whenever, however, as often as you want, for as long as you want.”

  He doesn’t attempt to hide his astonishment. Clearly, I’ve taken him completely by surprise with my offer and it was not what he was expecting.

  “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Tara, if I’ve got this right and you’re offering me some kind of fuck buddy arrangement. You’re not some kind of whore.”

  “No, I’m not,” I agree. “But if that’s what it takes to keep the ranch going, then I’ll do it. It’s all we’ve got left.”

  “Is the situation really that bad that it’s come to this?” he asks quietly.

  “Yes, it really is that bad,” I sigh, knowing that day by day we’ve let things get worse until it’s gotten to where it’s at now.

  Joel stares at me while he tries to take in the bombshell I’ve just dropped on him. What will I do if he turns me down? Uncertainty swirls through me, eroding what’s left of my strength, as I attempt to appear controlled, cold and distant.

  But then he takes me completely by surprise.

  “All right, Tara. We have a deal.”

  A smile of joy begins to dawn on my face, as the implications of his words sink in.

  I’ve done it, I’ve found a way to save Redlands!

  If anyone can turn the ranch around, it’s him. Nothing is impossible for a man like Joel. I know his dedication, his passion, his perseverance, his iron discipline. His love for the land. For Redlands...

  “But we’ll be doing it my way,” he continues.

  Uh oh. I knew this was too easy, too good to be true.

  “I’m all ears…” I murmur, hardly daring to
look at him to discover what he has in mind, knowing I have little choice but to concede to whatever terms he comes up with.

  “There’s only one way I’m taking you to my bed, and that’s as my wife, Tara. So, if you want me to give up what I have here in order to rescue your ranch, you will agree to hand over complete control of the estate to me, your husband. In effect, I’ll be what used to be termed the Lord and Master of Redlands. Not only of the ranch, but of you as well. Those are my terms.”

  I wasn’t expecting this. His wife? Lord and Master? What the fuck?

  I struggle to come up with a suitable response while I get my head around this development.

  “Isn’t that a little medieval, Joel?” I use sarcasm to mask my shock. “We’re not in some trashy regency period novel.”

  I hoped he’d be happy with the idea of us having the kind of casual arrangement I suggested, never dreaming for a second he’d demand marriage instead. Don’t most guys shy away from that kind of commitment? But it’s not really me he wants, is it? I’m just a means to an end, that’s all. He’s worked out he holds all the aces, and he’s going for the jackpot. He wants to own Redlands, not manage it.

  “Final offer, Tara. Take it or leave it.”

  “You mean it’s your only offer, Joel,” I protest weakly. He’s deadly serious, knowing I wouldn’t be here if there was any other way.

  He shrugs. “I’m not the one begging for help. So, it’s really quite simple. If you want me to save Redlands, you agree to marry me. If that’s not acceptable to you, then you can shut the door on your way out.”

  ღ

  Take it or leave it.

  Un-fucking-believable. He finds it so easy to impose his ridiculous conditions on me.

  Take it or leave it.

  He knows full well I’m going to have to say yes. If I’ve dragged myself here, it’s because I’ve no other options. I’ve hit rock bottom.

  Indignation burns its way up my throat, leaving a trail of fire that prevents me from forming a coherent answer. As he holds my glare, I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to intimidate me.