Covington, Cara - Love Under Two Benedicts [Lusty, Texas 1] (Siren Publishing Menage Everlasting)

by Love Under Two Benedicts (lit)

  Kelsey watched as Steven deftly plucked the sleeping child from her arms and settled him in against his big chest. She had the same thought now that she had when Matthew had scooped him out of the booster chair in the restaurant and run with him to the clinic.

  The Benedict brothers would make good fathers one day.

  With her arms empty, Kelsey accepted the pen and papers from Matthew. She didn’t let herself think. She just signed her name in the appropriate place on all three pages.

  She handed the pen and papers back to Samantha.

  Preston came back into the clinic. “Anna and Jackson have brought over a child’s car seat. They said it’ll just take a few moments for them to install it, then you’re good to go.”

  Samantha smiled. “With all the grandchildren floating around these days, I doubt you’ll want for anything for this little man.”

  “There was a letter in Benny’s bag,” Adam said quietly. “I’ll come over in a while and show it to you.”

  Matthew put his hand on Kelsey’s back. “Do you need to go back to work, sweetheart?”

  “No. Tracy will close up for me. Oh, but I have to tell her.”

  Heather, who was still there, came over and gave Kelsey a hug. “I’ll tell her. Michelle will likely help her. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

  “No.” Kelsey felt as if she’d been covered in bubble wrap in that she felt a little outside of herself. Everyone was being so kind and generous, and all for a little boy they didn’t even know. “No, I won’t worry about anything. Well, except Benny.” She turned to look at Matthew and Adam. “I hope you find his mother soon. A little boy—” Kelsey had to stop because her throat tightened and her voice caught.

  Too close, too close.

  She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, fought for control. And then she continued. “A little boy needs his mother.”

  “Don’t worry, love. We’ll find her,” Matthew said.

  “You go on, the three of you, and get him settled for the night,” Adam said. “I’ll begin the preliminary investigation. Don’t need two of us for that. And then I’ll be by, give you an update, and show you the letter.”

  Kelsey looked over to where the doctors Jessop stood talking to the receptionist and a couple of townspeople. Kelsey couldn’t recall if they were Kendalls or Benedicts, and nodded her thanks.

  She received a nod and a smile back.

  “You want to sit in back with him?” Matthew asked. The men, one of them holding a sleeping Benny, flanked her as they walked out of the clinic.

  “Yes, please.”

  She’d thought they would have to turn this child over to a nameless, faceless social worker, and she’d almost geared up for that. Now as she got into the back of the Jeep and helped Steven fasten the sleeping little guy into the car seat, she tried to come to grips with the sharp, unexpected turn her life had just taken.

  For the next little while, at least, she would be taking care of a child. A little boy child, who on first sight, had reminded her so much of her Sean.

  Chapter 12

  Benny woke up when the Jeep came to a stop at the ranch. Because it was early summer, daylight still reigned at seven-thirty in the evening.

  Kelsey unbuckled the child from his safety seat, but she didn’t get a chance to lift him into her arms.

  He’d looked out the window and crowed with delight. “Horsies!”

  Despite the gravity of the situation and the emotions and memories that had been bombarding her, Kelsey smiled. Was there a four-year-old alive who didn’t love horses?

  “That’s right. Horsies.”

  “Can I go see them? Can I ride one? Please?”

  “How about we just go and say hello for tonight?” Steven said. “It’s almost the horsies’ bed time.”

  Kelsey found herself nodding when Steven looked at her, one eyebrow raised as if he asked permission.

  “Cool!” Benny seemed wide awake as he scrambled to get out of the Jeep.

  The little boy had no qualms about putting his small hand in Steven’s large one and trooping off to the outdoor corral.

  “We have a lot of young ones in the families,” Matthew said when she’d stepped out of the vehicle. He stood beside her, his hand on her back as they both watched Benny with Steven. “Quite often, especially during holiday weekends, we’re up to our asses in kids here.”

  Since he said that with a smile she guessed that meant he didn’t mind.

  Before long, Benny came running back to her, a huge smile on his face. “Tomorrow I get to meet them all!” He stopped when he got to Kelsey, then yawned.

  “Are you hungry?” she asked him.

  “I’m thirsty,” he said.

  At home here as much as in her own apartment, Kelsey took Benny’s hand and led him into the house to the kitchen.

  “Matthew and I will go and make up the bed in the room across the hall from ours,” Steven said.

  That was the room Kelsey had been going to suggest they use because it was closest to the master bedroom. “Good. I’ll take care of the tummy issues.”

  She lifted Benny onto one of the stools by the center island and opened the fridge. “We have apple juice, orange juice, and milk.”

  “I like milk!”

  He gave her such a wide smile, she felt her breath catch and her heart squeeze. “Milk it is. Would you like some toast with peanut butter, too?” He’d eaten at her restaurant but that had been a few hours ago. Sometimes, little ones ate like birds and sometimes like elephants.

  “Peanut butter!”

  Kelsey set a slice of bread in the toaster and poured him a glass of milk. In a couple of minutes, the toast popped, and Kelsey got down a saucer and prepared the snack.

  She froze when she saw what she’d done. She’d cut the covered toast into eight finger-like pieces. She used to call them soldiers in an effort to encourage her son to eat them.

  Here are your soldiers, Sean. Gobble them down!

  Like soldiers, Mommy.

  Kelsey yanked herself back to the present.

  “Here you are, Benny. Toast with peanut butter.”

  The little boy ate only a couple of pieces before he pushed the plate away.

  “I don’t want anymore, Kelsey.”

  “Okay. Let’s go see if the men have your bed ready.” If she still had him here tomorrow night, she’d bathe him. Right now, she needed to get him into pajamas and into bed. She felt things happening inside her and wanted to get the boy settled. Then she needed to find herself some privacy.

  She couldn’t go home. Benny was here, and she was responsible for him, so here she’d stay, too. She’d have to find somewhere to be alone in this house. The place was massive. It shouldn’t be a problem.

  They made a stop in the bathroom for necessary matters and so she could at least wipe his face and hands. A typical boy, he scrunched his face in response to having it wiped. Then she took his hand and led him into his bedroom.

  “Good timing,” Matthew said. He and Steven had just finished emptying the bags. There were books and toys and clothes as advertised.

  The men had the blankets of the double bed pulled back. The little boy looked at it, his eyes wide.

  “Big bed,” he said.

  “It is,” Steven agreed.

  “If you wake up in the night and need us,” Matthew said, pointing, “we’ll be right across the hall.”

  “Okay.”

  Kelsey grabbed a pair of pajamas and, in short order, had the boy in them. Steven lifted him and spun him through the air while Matthew held the blankets up. One deposited the child onto the mattress, and the other covered him.

  Benny giggled, then yawned. He blinked a few times and then focused on Matthew. “You find my mommy tomorrow?”

  “I’ll do my best, Benny. Right now, I think Mommy wants you to be good and get some sleep.”

  Benny put his thumb in his mouth and nodded. “Mommy said Kelsey would babysit me.”

  Kelsey felt her mouth
open and closed it quickly. Adam had said there was a letter. Did she somehow know this child and his mother and not realize it?

  “Kiss!”

  Since Benny looked at her when he said that, she obediently bent over him and gave him a kiss on his forehead. His small arms went around her, and the scent of soap, boy, and peanut butter swamped her. She pulled back from him and felt a wrenching deep inside her.

  Oh, God. Oh, God. Not yet. Trying not to show the turmoil within, she brushed his hair gently with her hand. “Sleep well, honey.”

  “’Night.”

  Kelsey couldn’t hold on another moment. She turned, her legs carrying her out of the room, her vision already blurred by her tears so that she couldn’t see where she was going. Frantic, feeling everything inside her beginning to unravel, she nearly ran as she found her way into the master bedroom, then kept walking all the way through it and out onto the balcony.

  The spa tub gurgled in the early evening air, the sound of bubbles and birdcalls all seeming so peaceful, so normal.

  A tortured groan came from deep inside her from the black hole she’d carried within her for more than five years. Then came another and another. Her knees gave out, and she ended in a squat, her body curving in on itself as she gave herself over to the despair seething within her as she finally broke.

  * * * *

  Matthew’s heart tore apart.

  He looked over at Steven, unsurprised to see his brother’s eyes, like his own, filled with tears.

  Unable to bear it a moment more, he went to Kelsey, lifted her into his arms. She struggled, and he held her tighter.

  “It’s all right, baby. It’s all right.”

  He brought her over to the bench, moving her so that she lay across his lap and Steven’s who sat down beside him.

  “It’s not all right! It can never be all right! My baby, my baby, my baby!”

  Kelsey sobbed uncontrollably, and Matthew had never felt so helpless. He swallowed over the lump in his throat.

  “We’re so sorry, love, so, very, very sorry.” Steven’s voice shook with emotion.

  Matthew held her tighter, his head resting on hers when her struggles stopped, and she just sobbed. Steven, beside him, stroked her legs. He slipped her shoes off her and rubbed her feet.

  Matthew crooned to her, not words so much as sounds, an echoing of her pain, an acceptance of the tears she shed, tears he knew had been buried far too deep for far too long.

  Her sobs dwindled to tiny hiccups. She clung to him now, her body purged not only of grief but of strength.

  He looked around, needing something, then raised one eyebrow when Adam stepped out onto the balcony carrying a glass of brandy and a box of tissues.

  “Boy’s asleep,” Adam said. “I’ll wait downstairs.”

  Matthew eased Kelsey onto the seat between himself and Steven. His brother, tissues in hand, lifted her face and dabbed at her tears.

  “I’m sorry,” Kelsey said.

  “Don’t you ever dare apologize for this.” Steven grabbed another tissue, folded it, and held it to her nose. “Blow.”

  She did, around a laugh that was weak, but a laugh just the same.

  Matthew held the glass of brandy to her lips. “Take a sip, baby.”

  She did, coughing slightly. Matthew patted her back, and Steven rubbed her thigh.

  She exhaled, her breath shaky. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her face blotchy, but he’d never seen a more beautiful woman in his entire life.

  “I saw Benny with his mother. It must have been an hour before Michelle told me he’d been left.” She paused and took another sip of brandy. “He was eating french fries, one at a time, exactly how my Sean used to eat them. And then he looked at his mother and made a face.” She stopped, and fresh tears spilled over her eyes, but she didn’t sob. Steven mopped her face again and placed a kiss on her nose.

  “I turned away from him because the sudden flood of memories hurt so much. I locked myself in the bathroom until I got myself under control. Then I went back to work. Work saved me. Before, too, you know? Keeping busy was all I could do.”

  “We’ve never lost anyone,” Matthew said. “We can’t know what it feels like. But we love you, and your pain is now our pain.”

  She jerked at that and turned her widened eyes to him and then Steven.

  “Sorry, sweetheart,” Steven said. “We do love you. Totally and completely. We lied about this being just physical for us.”

  “Oh.” Kelsey looked as if she didn’t know what else to say.

  Matthew smiled because that one word conveyed volumes.

  “And we’re not going to let you hide from us emotionally anymore,” he said to her. “You’re not the kind of woman who can give herself in sexual abandon to anyone she doesn’t love, so don’t go and try telling us you don’t love us. We know you do and have from the start.”

  “You’re kind of macho all of a sudden,” Kelsey said. He looked at her face and couldn’t read any real anger there. Confusion, yes. And, if he wasn’t mistaken, he could see hope in her eyes as well.

  “Honey, I’m from Texas. We invented macho.”

  Kelsey shook her head and chuckled just a little. “So I’m beginning to discover.”

  She sat quietly for a moment, still inhaling shakily.

  Matthew reached down and twined his fingers with hers. Steven did the same with the fingers of her right hand.

  “We want you to share them with us,” Steven said. “Sean and Philip, too. You loved them both, and they’re a part of you.”

  “Can you do that, baby? Can you share them with us?” Matthew asked.

  When she met his gaze, he kept his level, hoping she could see the love he held for her shining in his eyes.

  She met Steven’s gaze as well. He knew they were asking for a greater intimacy than she’d been prepared to give them. To his way of thinking, it was time.

  “Yes, all right. I’ll…I have a picture album. It’s in storage. I’ll get it.”

  “Thank you.” Matthew kissed her, keeping the caress light.

  Steven turned her face to him and gave her a gentle kiss as well. She responded to them both as she had from the first, sweetly and with unlimited heart.

  “Do you want us to ask Adam to come back tomorrow?” Steven asked. “He won’t mind.”

  “No. He’s here now. Let’s see what he has to say.”

  * * * *

  “I don’t understand,” Kelsey said just a few minutes later. “Are you telling me she knew me? That she left Benny at my restaurant on purpose?”

  Adam handed her the note, and she read it, the same words he’d just finished reading aloud to them all. The message, written on plain white paper, the penmanship poor, was short and to the point.

  I read about your place in the paper and about how you lost your boy. You have a kind face, and I think you could come to love my Benny. I’ve got no work, and I can’t feed him. And Deke doesn’t like him much. I worry sometimes that he’ll get mad and start beating him, too. Benny will be safe with you.

  “That poor woman.” Kelsey looked up, focusing on Adam and then her men.

  “We got a pretty good description of her and the man she was with. I dusted the letter for prints and got a partial, and I’ve sent it off. We have an idea of the make and model of the car they were in, though no plate number, of course.”

  “No, that would be too easy,” Matthew said.

  “We questioned Benny last night, but all he told us was his name,” Adam said. “Can hardly blame the little guy. He was terrified, still fighting off the drug he’d been given. We’ll try again tomorrow. He’s only little but he likely knows his last name, at the very least. Anyway, I thought it might help, understanding why his mom thought she had to leave him.”

  “I’ll be in the office first thing in the morning,” Matthew told Adam. He turned to look at Kelsey. “You’re off tomorrow, and Steven will be here, but we need to think about Tuesday, in case we don’t find Benny’s mo
m right away.”

  “I bet Mom would be happy to come babysit,” Steven said.

  “That’s what I was thinking. Kelsey?”

  She couldn’t deny they’d have to make some sort of arrangement for the little guy if they still had him on Tuesday. “Maybe she could come for coffee tomorrow,” Kelsey said. “Then Benny could meet her.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Adam got to his feet. “Oh, before I forget...” He left the front parlor and went to the entrance hall. Scooping up a box, he handed it to Kelsey. “Shirley sent that over. It’s a baby monitor with three different receivers. She said the instructions are inside the box, along with new batteries.”

  “Perfect! I’ll have to call her and tell her thanks in the morning,” Kelsey said.

  Matthew and Steven both wore such confused looks, she laughed. “I know he’s not a baby, but with this we’ll hear him if he wakes up.”

  While Steven and Matthew walked Adam out, Kelsey made her way upstairs with the monitor. Benny was sound asleep, one of the toys Heather had collected and given them—a blue walrus—clutched tight in his arm, his thumb in his mouth. She set up the monitor, ensured it was working, then left him to his slumber.

  In the master bedroom, she set one of the receivers on the dresser and turned it up. She could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall in Benny’s room. Good.

  Alone, the quiet of the evening settling around her, Kelsey walked out onto the balcony. The residual shakes from her crying jag seemed to be gone. Stepping close to the railing, she caught just a slight breeze and inhaled deeply. The air smelled of approaching rain, fresh and clean, as if moisture had already scrubbed the air, making it new again.

  In some ways, she felt new again, too.

  Kelsey didn’t hear a sound, but she knew when Steven and Matthew were standing behind her.

  “You said you love me.”

  She turned then and faced them. To their credit, they stood solemnly and took her scrutiny.

  “We did,” Matthew said.

  “I don’t know how I feel about that.”

  “We know,” Steven said. “You don’t have to know how you feel about it, Kelsey. Not right now.”