Safeword: Quinacridone

by Candace Blevins

  He was quiet a moment as he absorbed her words, and his eyes serious as he said, “I’m sorry if it seems that way, but I have something planned for the weekend that’ll hopefully change your perception. I need to check with you on a few items, make sure I won’t hit any hard limits you aren’t aware of simply because you never considered the possibility.”

  Cara smiled as her insides fluttered to life. “Really?”

  “Yes, Really. First though, a strong meteor shower is forecast for Thursday night and early Friday morning. I’ve rented a mountain cabin near Fall Creek Falls to position us far enough away from the city lights for a good view. I thought we’d drive up after work Thursday, sleep in Friday, and maybe check out the falls before we head back home that evening?”

  “Don’t forget, I bought us tickets to the Arts Council’s fundraising gala Friday night. Do you know what you’ll wear?”

  “I haven’t forgotten,” he grinned, “and I think it’s cute you know I have to plan ahead of time to figure out what to wear to these things. Jacob had something delivered yesterday and it’s all pressed and hanging up, just waiting for me. What about you?”

  She nodded. “I’ve attended Arts Council functions for years. We had free tickets when we lived in the house, and you pretty much had to go unless hospitalized. The first year, one of the older girls let me borrow one of her gowns and showed me this consignment store for the rich so I could get something for the next gala. We all swapped dresses around and I’d buy a used formal for less than a hundred dollars, wear it once, and trade it for another, then swap that one for another.” She laughed, “I’ve been to probably ten or twelve of these things and only bought three dresses.”

  Travis was starting to look horrified, so she rushed to add, “But I did it right this time and got something new. I’ve been thinking, for the gowns the paparazzi shoot me in and you say I shouldn’t wear again, maybe I can give them to the house, so the girls there can get some use out of them?”

  He smiled. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. I know how annoyed you are by my not wanting you in the same dress once you’ve been photographed in it.”

  She rolled her eyes and he said, “Really Cara, you don’t want give the gossip rags a chance to show Travis Winslow’s girlfriend wearing the same clothes to different functions. Do you? We’re trying to convince them they won’t get anything by following you around, and that will give them a big something.”

  She didn’t say anything, just gave him an emotionless stare, and he said, “Will giving the dresses to the other artists take some of the irritation away? Maybe?”

  She rolled her eyes and gave him a half smile. “Yeah, a little. Sometimes being your girlfriend is a pain in the ass, but—”

  He interrupted. “But you like a bit of anal pain with your sex.”

  “You’re insufferable. I was going to say you’re worth it.” She smiled, her eyes lighting up. “Jerk.”

  He blew her a kiss and returned to their weekend plans. “So, we have Thursday and Friday nights planned. You haven’t met Paul’s wife—”

  “Yeah, I’m beginning to wonder if she’s real, or if he keeps her in a tower like Rapunzel.”

  He laughed. “In many ways, their relationship looks much like that of the couples in New York, but she helped come up with their rules and there’s a lot more give and take between them. He has the final decision on everything, but he adores her and — as long as she’s behaving — he frequently makes decisions with her wishes in mind. Still, she’s his property, more than his wife, and they both get off on him forcing her outside of her comfort zone.”

  He was babbling, so she said, “What do you need to tell me but aren’t sure I’ll be okay with?”

  He rolled his eyes, took a breath to regroup, and talked with more confidence. “I won’t tell you exactly what we’ve planned; I just need to make sure we don’t bump against a hard limit. Have you ever been with a woman?”

  “Ummm, you mean, like, with a woman?”

  He smiled. “Yes.”

  She shook her head, her eyes wide.

  “Are you opposed to trying?”

  “What would you want me to do?” Her brow furrowed. “Is this something that turns you on?”

  “I’m turned on by the idea of Paul and I objectifying the two of you as a unit, and by the thought of another woman bringing you to orgasm. I know you well enough to know you’ll need to be a passive participant, so I’m not planning to make you get her off. Not this time, anyway. It’ll be enough for me to see her bring you to a screaming climax.”

  Cara took a bite, thinking it over. The idea of a woman touching her didn’t do anything, but the thoughts of Travis tying her up and forcing her to accept it, his cock rock hard while he watched, made her want to squirm in her chair. She swallowed and took a sip of her wine, trying not to show how much his words affected her. “If I don’t have a choice, and if I can see it making you hard, I think I’ll be good with it. I won’t really know though, not until—”

  “I’m not asking for guarantees, I just needed to make sure it’s not an immediate squick. Next question — piss games can go both ways. You’re very likely to see Paul pissing on and in Meg, but the notion of my forcing you to lose control and pee while I have you in bondage is growing on me. How do you feel about being tied, and not freed when you need to relieve yourself?”

  Cara was immediately horrified, but also...dammit, how did he do that? She suddenly wanted him to force her, and her thoughts travelled back to the stocks at the Bed and Breakfast, but with a plastic tarp under her, with her neck and wrists imprisoned all day so she could be used anytime. She imagined them not letting her up to go to the bathroom, and her pee eventually flowing down her legs when she couldn’t hold it anymore. She wasn’t sure the reality wouldn’t be a turn-on, but the fantasy was certainly doing something.

  Looking up, she breathed out in annoyance at her traitorous body. “I don’t want it to turn me on, but it’s...intriguing. I have a feeling the experience won’t live up to the fantasy, though.”

  “If it doesn’t, you’ll tell me. I’ll only force you if it’s making you horny; if you aren’t turned on it becomes a turn-off for me, too.”

  “Yes, I know. And I know if I safeword you’ll stop whether I’m aroused or not. It’s still an unknown though, and it’s scary.” She paused, his earlier words suddenly making more sense. “Is this what you were talking about? After a while there’ll be no more unknowns, and you’re worried what we might do to find new experiences?”

  He nodded. “That’s some of it, but I’m not quite as troubled now.” He explained how Paul helped him see that the non-kink parts of their relationship were strong enough to keep them from taking the kink too far. He loved Cara’s personality, her art, her joy of life, and never wanted to objectify her twenty-four / seven and risk losing his companion and friend.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Cara had expected the cabin to be over the top luxurious, but it was just a cabin in the woods. The lower area had a small galley kitchen and cozy living room with a massive fireplace. The structure was an A frame, with the bedroom in an upstairs loft — accessible by a ladder. Watching him don the backpack and climb the ladder, she understood why he’d insisted they bring it instead of luggage.

  She noted a door at the back of the kitchen and walked past the ladder and under the loft, hoping to find the bathroom.

  The large garden tub surprised her. It wasn’t a fancy bathroom but she’d expected a small shower and sink, based on the compact use of the rest of the space. Instead, the bathroom took up the width of the cabin and included the tub, a nice sized shower, a vanity with two sinks, and a separate cubicle for the toilet. She relieved herself and climbed the ladder, hoping for another bathroom upstairs so she wouldn’t have to navigate the ladder in the middle of the night.

  The panorama in the loft took her breath away. The designers had obviously understood the focus of a getaway weekend to a cabin, since they�
��d made the bed the focal point, with sheer fabric at the four corners hanging from the sharply pitched ceiling. Huge windows took up more than half the roof, bringing the outdoors, in. She looked up at the sky, and sideways at the trees beside them, and was thankful Travis had driven around town and through the countryside until he was sure they weren’t followed by paparazzi.

  She walked to the bed and looked to the right and left, taking in the wide expanse of sky the view afforded. “It’s perfect, Travis. We’ll see the meteor shower from bed! I’d envisioned us in sleeping bags under the stars, but this is so much better.”

  “We’ll go outside for part of it; we’re near a large cliff area, and a short walk through the woods will give us an even bigger view of the eastern sky. I figure we can go out during the peak viewing hour, probably around four in the morning, but we can keep an eye on things from in here so we don’t have to spend the whole night outside.”

  “Have I mentioned lately how much I love you? I can’t imagine liking someone who enjoyed sleeping outside.” She shuddered and he laughed as he pulled her into his embrace, saying, “I love you too, Cara. Thanks for sharing this with me.”

  * * * *

  Travis could tell Cara was tired when they returned from dinner at the nearby Fall Creek Falls Restaurant. It was an all-you-can eat buffet and he’d lost track of how many times she’d gone back for more. He loved watching her eat; she did it with such gusto. When working, she often forgot about food for long periods, but he was gradually finding ways to get calories into her without interrupting her flow.

  As he keyed open the door she said, “Do you think maybe we could take a short nap, since we’ll be up all night?”

  He settled a hand on her lower back, urging her in before him. “Sure, go on up and get comfortable. I need to make a phone call and check the server; I’ll be up in about ten minutes and I’ll set my tablet to wake us in a couple of hours. How long do you want?”

  “Maybe three hours? I don’t know what you’ve planned, will that work?”

  Travis kissed her on the forehead. “That’s fine. Go on up and I’ll see you shortly.”

  He logged on to the company’s server to look over the files Connie had uploaded. He could see an obvious difference in the quality of work when she used Cara’s art, compared to the other artists’ files she’d completed. It was subtle, but she manipulated light and shadow to make it less realistic and a little dated. He shot off a message to Timothy, asking him to compare four files without telling him why. While he was looking, he ran a quick check through Petra’s work, as well as a few others, and liked what he saw. This project still needed his attention, but he already knew what he’d do next and was trying to record his ideas before he lost them.

  By the time he made it up the ladder Cara was fast asleep, and he stood for a few moments, in awe once again that this magnificent woman was sharing her life with him. He’d been prepared to lay with her until she fell asleep, but since she’d already dropped off he crawled into bed beside her with his tablet and opened his notes for his next project, brainstorming until the tablet’s alarm app went off three hours later.

  Cara awakened to the sound without him having an opportunity to rouse her gently, and he internally kicked himself for not switching to vibrate once he realized he’d stay awake.

  She mumbled something about the bathroom and grabbed her toiletry kit as she headed for the ladder.

  He saved his work, watched to make sure it went to the cloud, scanned his email for anything pressing, and followed her down to hear the sound of her brushing her teeth. He winced and climbed back up to get his own toiletry kit.

  She brushed her hair and pulled it into a ponytail while he brushed his teeth. They left the bathroom together, and Travis grabbed food from the refrigerator, bundling it into a backpack with a two-person sleeping bag and padded camp mat. He slung it over his shoulders, and handed her a flashlight.

  “They have red filters so they won’t mess with our night vision. We’ll still need to be super careful when we reach the cliff though. Don’t go near the edge, it’s dangerous in the dark.”

  Once they’d arranged the camp mat and snuggled into the sleeping bag, he pulled out the cheese, crackers, and wine; and they ate and drank as meteors streaked across the sky. As the night progressed sometimes they’d see three or four at once, and he loved her gasps of awe and pleasure, and adored the way she pointed and oohed and aahed as the fleeting streaks of light raced across the night sky.

  It was a magical night, with the love of his life tucked into the crook of his arm and Mother Nature’s incredible light show in the enormous sky above them.

  They decided to go inside around four in the morning, though the meteor shower was still in full swing. To keep from messing up their night vision they kept the cabin lights off and used their flashlights to get ready for bed, and when they slid between the warm flannel sheets the meteors could be vividly seen through the surrounding skylights.

  Travis was flat on his back when Cara rose above him, freed her hair from the ponytail, and trailed kisses from his mouth to his pajama bottoms; her hair sliding across him as her lips teased. He moved to roll them over and take control, but she looked up and met his eyes with a tenderness and pleading that stole his breath.

  “Let me love you tonight? Please?” She pushed up to caress his cheek with a delicate brush of fingertips, and leaned in to touch her lips to his.

  He couldn’t have moved if he’d tried. Looking into her eyes felt a little like a dear staring into headlights and he said, “I’m all yours.”

  She dipped her head and her hair tickled his chest as her tongue flicked his nipple, and Travis sucked in air as she blew across it.

  “Ooooh, sensitive,” she said, looking up to grin before ducking her head. A groan escaped his lips as her tongue moved to his other nipple, and his sounds turned to gasps as he felt teeth.

  Delicate kisses trailed down his chest and onto his stomach, and then fingers nudged under the waistband of his micro-fleece pajama bottoms. Her voice vibrated against his lower abdomen. “Why’d you wear pajamas to bed?”

  “It was co...we’re in the woo...” he stopped and tried to make his brain work. “Because I’m an idiot? I don’t know; it seemed like a good idea at the time.” He lowered his hands to his hips, but she cautiously wrapped gentle fingers around his wrists. “Will you let me? I want to play. Will you put your hands under your head and keep them there for me? Please?”

  Travis started to flip her over and show her what he thought of her idea, but a shooting star reflected in her eyes from the side and he glanced up to see a half dozen race across the sky at once, and something shifted inside. He didn’t always have to be in control. He relaxed his upper body and laced his hands behind his head.

  “Thank you,” she said as she massaged his cock through the pajamas and ran her tongue along and just under the waistband. Her hand went slack as she moved it, allowing the texture of the fabric to rub up and down his cock, and he gritted his teeth and worked to keep his hips still. He would not hump her hand like an adolescent.

  Her hands moved up, grasped the top of his pajamas, and pulled them out and down. Travis raised his hips to assist their removal but didn’t move his hands. She pushed his pants off his feet and tossed them on a chair before crawling between his legs, urging them apart so her body would fit, and wrapping her arms under and around his thighs. Her shoulders spread his legs even wider as she lowered her tongue to his balls.

  Travis wasn’t sure he liked this position, with his legs held open and vulnerable; but then her tongue flicked below his balls to his perineum and he realized he’d never felt a tongue there, and he liked it. He hadn’t allowed anyone free rein to pleasure him before; he’d told them what to do and given consequences for creativity when they did other than instructed.

  She gently pulled his left ball into her mouth, maintaining a soothing suction as she stroked and circled it with her tongue. His ball lit up wit
h pleasure, pulling a gasp from him as his eyes opened wide just as several meteors hit the earth’s atmosphere. He growled her name as he tensed his shoulders, willing his hands to stay put.

  “Mmmmmm. Growly,” she said, an instant before she gave his right ball the same treatment.

  His voice was both plea and warning when he said her name this time. She released his ball and licked her way to the top of his cock and he jerked and jumped when she flicked her tongue across the rounded tip. She was driving him insane, and he hadn’t decided if he liked not being in control. He was harder than granite, but he’d never put himself at anyone’s mercy before.

  Her tongue continued to tease and torment, stroking up and down, circling.

  “Cara!” He barked, and her breath came out in staccato bursts over the tongue tracks running along his cock as she chuckled at his distress. Her laughter went all the way to her eyes. She was happy.

  He’d been about to move his legs and force them from her grasp to take charge, but her chuckle caught him off guard. Sex wasn’t fun for Cara: it was serious, painful, ecstatic, orgasmic — but never fun. The Cara he’d first met a little over two years ago would’ve never laughed with unbridled joy during any kind of sexual activity. Travis relaxed his legs, locked his fingers even tighter behind his head, and said, “Suck me. Please Cara Mia, you’re driving me crazy.”

  She licked a long stripe from the base of his balls, across the skin between them, all the way to the tip of his cock, swirled the top, ran down the right side, around both balls, and back up the left side. He growled again and she said, “Patience, Travis. We’ll get there.”