The Cold Hard Truth: A Gripping Novel About Secrets and Lies

by Amanda Leigh Cowley

  All conscious thought leaves me. I’m acting purely on instinct as my fingers find his belt and unclasp it, sliding it from the loops in one swift movement. It makes a loud cracking noise and I feel him smile behind the kiss. I move my fingers to his waistband and start to unbutton him. His heart hammers inside his chest as my fingers brush against him through the material. He grunts in appreciation but then steps back and shakes his head. “Not yet.”

  I snap out of my trance, terrified he’s about to put an end to whatever this is. “Is something wrong?”

  His eyes search mine. “Are you sure this is what you want?” He’s giving me another chance to back out.

  I catch my breath as I look at him. He is so ridiculously perfect. Of course this is what I want.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  “I won’t hurt you,” he says, holding my gaze.

  I don’t care. I don’t want to think about what happens next. All I know is that I need him right now, in this moment.

  “Nate….”

  “Yes?”

  “Stop talking.” I lift my head and silence him with a kiss.

  He smiles and tugs my elbow from the sink, pulling me the short distance into the bedroom and down onto his bed. Leaning over me, he kisses me into a submissive position until I’m lying on my back. His mouth moves to my ear lobe and he tugs it gently with his teeth. “I’ve dreamed of this moment since the first time I saw you,” he whispers, his breath hot on my neck. “And there’s no way we’re rushing it.”

  I draw in a deep, shivery breath.

  He closes his eyes for a moment and then his lips curve into a devilish smile. Hovering above me, he nudges my legs apart with his knee. Then he starts trailing kisses down my body. My stomach muscles tremble and goose bumps pop up on my flesh as his mouth travels lower, brushing my skin so gently I wonder if he’s even touching me at all.

  Chapter 18

  The early morning sun sends shards of light through the blinds, pulling me from my dreamless slumber. I inhale contentedly, the way you do when you’ve had a perfect night’s sleep and wake up well-rested. But as I take in my surroundings and realise where I am, my stomach does a somersault.

  I had sex with Nate last night. My boss. Who is now lying naked beside me.

  Oh, dear God, I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to get my head around what I’ve done. Last night was better than I could’ve imagined. Breathtaking in fact.

  But it was a mistake.

  How many people tried to warn me this would happen? I either laughed at them or got annoyed with them, but in the end they were right and I succumbed to Nate’s bed like a lamb to the slaughter.

  Well, if I found it awkward being around Nate after the beach incident, what the hell are things going to be like after this?

  I look at my watch. Lois will be arriving for work soon and I’d rather not meet her when I’m doing the walk of shame. And I have no idea if Riley’s up yet, or if anyone else stayed last night.

  I want to slip out of bed so I can quietly get dressed and make my way home. I need to shower and pull on some clean clothes before I dare show my face back at the café. But I’m not getting out of here easily; Nate’s breaths are coming deep and even so I’m pretty sure he’s still asleep, but every time I make even a tiny movement, he stirs, murmurs something incomprehensible and draws me in tighter. I shouldn’t be lying here, wrapped in his arms. The warmth and contentment of being close to him is messing with my head.

  I wriggle my shoulders and slip out from his embrace and then hold my breath as his breathing pattern changes. His hair is all messed up and crease marks from the pillow are imprinted on the side of his face, but his eyes stay closed as he turns onto his other side.

  I slowly fold back the sheet, climb out of bed and creep into the bathroom. My clothes are dry and warm after spending the night on the towel warmer. I pull them on and then quietly tiptoe out of Nate’s apartment, onto the landing.

  At the top of the stairs, I startle. Noises are coming from behind the office door, where Riley’s room is. Then I hear a familiar laugh and despite my turmoil, I smile.

  Lois finally got her man.

  Chapter 19

  I know Mom and Harriet won’t have worried about me. I texted them both yesterday evening to say I was spending the night at the café. I blamed it on the rain – said I’d just dried out and didn’t fancy getting soaked again. After sending the message I turned my phone off because I didn’t want to get into a discussion with them about it.

  When I finally get home, I punch the code into the keypad and push open the heavy door. Harriet is sitting on the bottom of the stairs putting on her sneakers.

  Her whole body sags when she sees it’s me. “Em, I’ve been trying to get hold of you. You’ve ignored all my messages. I was just about to come and see you.”

  “Why? To drag me home?” I roll my eyes. “For God’s sake, I’m eighteen, Harriet.”

  She shakes her head. “No. It’s not that. Something’s happened.” I notice her face is pinched with worry. I look from her towards the living area. “Is everything okay? Where’s Mom?”

  “She’s fine. Sort of. She’s at the police station.”

  “What’s happened?”

  “It’s been a nightmare. Detectives turned up at the crack of dawn with a warrant. They’ve seized all Mom’s personal files and emails.”

  “What … why?”

  “They were interested in her communication with Mike.”

  “Dad?” The floor feels unsteady beneath my feet. I walk over to the armchair and slump down into it. “They don’t think she had anything to do with his murder … do they?”

  She shakes her head fiercely. “No, of course they don’t. She’s not a suspect, Em.”

  I feel light with relief.

  “But you’ll never guess who is.”

  “They’ve got a suspect?” I pull my chin back. “Who is it?”

  “Dominic.”

  Dominic? I think I might throw up.

  She nods. “Apparently, the police turned up at his office yesterday afternoon, read him his rights and arrested him in front of all his staff. He’s in custody now.”

  “But ... what made them think he’s got anything to do with it?”

  “They had an anonymous tip-off from someone. Allegedly he never got over the fact Mom wanted to go back to Mike and he’d been planning to do something for a long time. They wouldn’t tell us anything else.”

  I’m shaking. “Why would he kill Dad for that? You said he wouldn’t take her back. And anyway, that was all ages ago. It doesn’t make any sense.”

  Harriet slips the throw off the back of the chair and wraps it around my shoulders. “Who knows why anyone does anything,” she says soothingly. She lowers herself onto the arm of my chair. “Dominic’s a strange guy and he’s completely obsessed with Mom. Who buys their girlfriend a house and a salon just so they won’t leave them? Maybe he felt he couldn’t compete with Mike, so he decided to get rid of the competition once and for all.”

  I think of poor Dad. Surely he wasn’t killed for something as petty as Dominic’s jealousy. “I don’t know what to think, Harriet. The quicker they get a conviction, whether it’s Dominic or someone else, the better.”

  “At least the case is moving forward now,” she says, leaning over and resting her head on my shoulder. “We’ll get through this together, okay?”

  Tears are threatening to fall. I press my finger to the corners of my eyes and nod.

  We sit together on the sofa for a while, Harriet stroking my arm, both lost in our own thoughts about the enormity of Dominic’s arrest. My head is spinning. I’m flitting between blind fury at Dominic for first taking my mom away and now, quite possibly, my dad, to reminding myself he could be completely innocent and Mom wasn’t exactly dragged away from Dad in the first place.

  After a while Harriet lifts her head off my shoulder and stands up. “Right, sitting around here mopin
g won’t bring a conviction forward, will it? I’m going to make us a drink. Do you want coffee? Or how about tea?”

  I sniff and look at my watch. I really should get showered and changed so I can head back to work on time, but I’m in no rush to see Nate. Besides, I think hearing your mom’s boyfriend has been arrested in connection with your dad’s murder qualifies as a pretty good reason to be late.

  “A cup of tea would be good. Thanks.”

  Harriet goes out to the kitchen and the sound of mugs banging on the surface and teaspoons clattering filters through. After five minutes, she appears with a pot of tea and a plate of cookies and puts them down on the low table before sitting back on the sofa with her legs tucked underneath her. She plucks a cookie off the tray and bites into it. “How was your night?” she asks through her mouthful. “After the party?”

  “A bit mad. Loads of people came back to the café to get out of the rain.”

  She licks the crumbs from her lips. “Did they all stay over?”

  “Well, Riley was there. And Nate, of course. I’m not sure what time the others left.”

  “Where did you sleep?”

  I pause before I answer. “In Nate’s room.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “And where was Nate?”

  “In bed … with me.”

  She looks up at the ceiling before meeting my eyes again. “Em, what the hell were you thinking?”

  “Oh, don’t start acting like you’re my mother, Harriet. I’m old enough to make my own decisions….”

  Whether they’re good or bad.

  “You’ll end up getting your heart broken. I don’t understand why you had to rush into going to bed with him.”

  Well I wish I hadn’t, but it’s too late now.

  “I didn’t rush into anything.”

  “Em, he’s the first guy you saw when you got here….”

  I lean forward, my hand hovering over the cookies. “You’re making it sound like he’s just some random man I picked up off the street. I do work with him, you know.”

  I select a chocolate chip cookie and bite into, ignoring her disapproving glare. “Anyway, I don’t know what your issue is. I thought you’d be happy for me after all the crap I’ve been through this year.”

  “I am happy. I’m happy because you’re happy. But I don’t want to see you get hurt. You’re vulnerable, Em. You’ve been through a lot and you need to stay away from people who might not have your best interests at heart.”

  Yeah … well, it’s probably a bit late for that.

  “What’s done is done,” I say, dunking my cookie in my tea.

  “I’m just scared you might be setting yourself up to be taken advantage of, that’s all.”

  I throw my hands in the air, spreading drops of tea from my cookie. “Well don’t be. I can take care of myself. What’s the worst that can happen?”

  She frowns. “You might fall in love with him. It’s a bad ending whatever the outcome.”

  I wrinkle my nose. “I don’t see how?”

  She sighs. “If he doesn’t love you back, you get hurt. And if he does love you back, then we get hurt.”

  I tilt my face. “We?”

  “Me and Mom. We’ve only just got you back, Em. If you go falling in love with someone, then we’ll lose you all over again. It’s not fair.”

  “You’re worrying over nothing. Me and Nate … we’re not an item. It was a one night hook up. That’s all. We got carried away in the heat of the moment and if you really want to know, I’m not proud of myself, okay? That’s why I’d like you to drop the subject.”

  Her face softens. “Em….”

  “I’m alright, Harriet. I’m not going to shrivel and die just because I slept with him.”

  She presses her lips into a tight smile.

  “And anyway, don’t be daft; If I do fall in love with someone in the future, you’re not going to lose me. I’m not going to stop spending time with you just because of that, am I?”

  She shrugs. “You might.”

  “I made you a promise, remember? I meant what I said. No one will stop us seeing each other again.”

  She smiles. “I know you think I’m overreacting. It’s just because I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “Hey, don’t apologise for looking out for me. Yes, it’s annoying. But secretly I love that I’ve got my big sister back to watch out for me.”

  She bites her lip and nods. “I love you, sis.”

  I smile. “I love you, too. You just need to trust that I can take care of myself, okay?”

  Chapter 20

  I hesitate before walking back into O’Shea’s Place. I texted Nate to let him know I was going to be late, explaining I’d had to go home and freshen up. I hoped my text would make things a little less awkward. Break the ice a bit. He replied with two words, ‘No problem.’

  Short and sweet.

  I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not.

  I walk in and see Lois behind the counter, busy serving a customer. There are a handful of customers sitting at the tables and two more waiting to be served. I flip up the counter, pull on my apron and plaster on a smile. Show time.

  My customer orders a black coffee, so I walk over to the beast.

  Lois walks over to join me. “I was wondering what happened to you,” she whispers. “Did you sleep in?”

  “Kind of.” My cheeks feel warm. I need to change the subject. “What’s that you’ve got there?”

  She looks down at the plate she’s holding. “Oh … it’s one of the new menu items; Brioche with scrambled eggs, sharp cheddar and crispy bacon.”

  “It looks delicious. I might have to have one for my lunch.”

  I finish pouring the coffee and take it to my customer. Then I turn to Lois. “So, how was your night?”

  She beams from ear-to-ear.

  “Oh, that good, huh?”

  “I did what you said, Em. I told him how I feel.”

  “And?”

  “He said he feels the same way and he’d been trying to pluck up the courage to tell me for ages.”

  I give her a wink. “So, you guys only wasted the one year then.”

  She grins as she takes an order over to one of the tables.

  I grab a damp cloth and a bottle of antibacterial spray to start wiping down the tables that have been used this morning, but the bottle’s nearly empty, so I go to the store room to fetch a new one.

  As I crouch down to the bottom shelf, I hear a click. I turn and see Nate has followed me in and shut the door. His expression is hard to read.

  I pick up the bottle of spray and straighten, forcing a casual tone. “Good morning, Nate.”

  He studies my face. “Everything okay?”

  “Yes. Everything’s fine.” I cringe when I hear myself saying the very words he ribbed me about last night. “Why’d you ask?”

  He runs a hand through his hair. “You left without saying anything this morning. I wondered if I did something wrong?”

  “You didn’t do anything. I did text to let you know what I was up to. I had to go home and get changed. I would have come back a bit earlier, but Harriet was waiting for me with some pretty heavy news.”

  He draws his chin back. “What was it?”

  I sigh. “My mom’s boyfriend has been arrested in connection with Dad’s murder.” Saying the words out loud makes my stomach clench.

  “Shit, Em. That’s … complicated.”

  “Tell me about it. On second thoughts, don’t. The not knowing is driving me crazy. I’m trying to push it all to the back of my mind until we find out for sure if he’s actually guilty.”

  He blows out a deep breath. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? It might help….”

  “I’m positive.”

  “Okay … you know what’s best.” He tilts his head to one side, as if he’s sizing me up. “As long as we’re okay, you and me….”

  I bite my lip. “Nate, about last night….”

  �
�I meant what I said. I think the world of you, Em. I’m not interested in messing you around.”

  My shoulders drop. “Last night was a mistake. It should never have happened.”

  The skin around his eyes tightens.

  “I’m sorry, Nate. I want to draw a line under you and me before things go any further.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want to jeopardise my job here.”

  He shakes his head. “That won’t happen….”

  “You don’t understand. Coming here is my escape from all the crap in my life. I need this job and I need it to be free from any more drama.”

  “But us being together doesn’t have to jeopardise anything. We can take things slowly, one day at a time….”

  “You can only put a limit on your actions, Nate, not your feelings.”

  He looks away from me, his jaw muscle flexing under his skin.

  Watching him, I almost feel my resolve slipping, but then my thoughts turn to the warnings people have given me about him. I think of the spare toothbrushes in his bathroom cabinet and of how smooth his seduction technique is. And I can’t forget the intimacy I saw between him and Sasha on the beach.

  I clear my throat. “Nate, what were you talking to Sasha about at the beach party?”

  “What?”

  “You two were having a pretty intense conversation that night. I’m curious to know what it was about?”

  “Uh … we were talking about work.”

  “Really?”

  He nods. “I was telling her I could pay off the investment.”

  I’m sure face-stroking and practically sitting on each other is not normal for these types of conversations.

  “She wasn’t happy about it,” he says, sucking in air over his teeth. “She wanted things to stay as they were, but….” He runs a hand through his hair in an irritated manner. “Em, why are we talking about Sasha?”

  No matter what he says, I know he’ll hurt me if I let him in.

  “It won’t work between us, Nate. I’m sorry, I’m not ready for a relationship.”

  He takes a step closer. “Em, I’m glad you told me about what happened back in London. I wish, more than anything, I could turn the clock back and undo what that bastard did to your dad.” His eyes flick down to my arm. “And what he did to you.”