Surviving The Perils

by Roman Shepp

Quentin tried pulling himself up, but the man on his left punched him in the stomach. Blows wailed on him now, and Quentin had to cover his head with his forearms and take the brunt of their punches. He was driven to the ground. Triumphant cries rang in his ears. The men thought they were winning. The fools. They were too arrogant. They struck Quentin over and over again. The one who had kicked him before kicked him again, this time in the side. Quentin brought his arm down and locked the man's leg in place, pulling him off-balance. Quentin fell to the side, rolling away from the other attacker. He fell onto the man on the ground and drove an elbow onto his ribs. A crack as loud as a gunshot burst through the air, and the man gasped. Quentin had punctured his lung.

  Pushing himself up, Quentin rolled forward and tackled the other man, who was standing. Both fell to the ground, but the man was able to wriggle away from Quentin and pull out a knife. A wicked grin crept over his face.

  “You're gonna wish you had stayed in the shadows,” he said. “Still not talking, eh? Well, I'll soon find out if you have a tongue or not. And if you have, then I'll cut it out.”

  The threat was laughable. Quentin knew he was looking at a dead man. It was a strange feeling, knowing someone's destiny before they did. The man lunged forward. Quentin curved his body inward and stepped back. One man still was gasping for air. Another was mumbling to himself, spitting out blood, and another was on the ground, weeping. The man lunged again. Quentin spun forward this time, catching the man's arm. He pulled it backward and slammed down on his wrist, making the man drop the knife. Elbowing the man in the face, he threw him to the ground and slammed his head down, again and again, until blood started smearing the ground.

  “No, please, no,” the man with the broken nose said.

  He had staggered to his feet and was holding a knife in one hand. His other hand was trying to hold his nose in place. It was a pitiful attempt at a defense. Quentin rose slowly and turned to face him. As he did so, the man dropped his knife and ran away. Quentin picked it up and chased him. His long strides ate up the ground, and he grabbed the man by the collar, hauling him back. He dragged him to the ground and then slammed the knife into his chest. The man gurgled, choking on his own blood. Quentin left the knife in the wound as he walked back toward the man with the broken fingers. Tears streamed down the man’s face, and he wriggled backward until his back hit a tree. He pleaded silently, his throat unable to make any words. Quentin ignored his pleas and reached around, as he suspected the man also carried a knife. His suspicions were correct. Slowly, he pushed the knife into the man's throat, and Quentin was bathed in blood.

  Standing up, Quentin laughed maniacally as he dipped his fingers in the blood and marked his mask, leaving more death in his wake.

  Chapter Eleven

  The world seemed to swirl around Tony. The air in the woods was thick, and his skin clammy. His clothes clung to his flesh and there was a black mark on his heart. At every moment he felt the urge to throw up, as though that would repair the damage to his torn soul. He looked around at his friends, and at the little girl, and wondered how the world ever had turned out like this. How people had turned out like this. In his old, sheltered life it had been so easy to believe the best about people. At the end of the day good always would triumph over evil, and everything would be alright. After all, that was what had happened here, wasn't it? The bad guys had been defeated, and they wouldn't hurt anyone in the future.

  But the damage they already had done...

  Tony coughed, bringing his hand to his mouth. He glanced over at Jane, and from the look in her eyes Tony knew she was feeling the same inner revulsion as he. The memory of the roughly textured meat in his mouth, the taste of it seeping into his tongue, knowing it had been part of another person. There already had been so many things in this world he thought he never would have to see or do, so much death and blood, but this was the worst of all. And then he'd had to kill innocent people just to put them out of their misery. Perhaps they all were suffering the same fate and they just didn't know it yet. What other horrors were out there waiting for them? Maybe it was better for them all to die before they suffered anymore.

  It was difficult to hold onto his ideals and aspirations in a world as dark as this one. Licking his lips, he wished he could forget the taste of human flesh. It was just another thing to add to his conscience, another thing that piled up and weighed on his shoulders. Coming to the woods was supposed to have been their salvation. Instead, they had witnessed only more acts of horror. Some of them had seen only the aftermath, such as in the huge building, others still were feeling the effects, such as Tara. The little girl was innocent and should have been protected from this kind of world. It only made Tony think about all the other children who had lost their parents. He never would tell her the truth about what had happened to her, how those men had fed her the flesh of people. She already had too much to worry her little mind and would have much more by the time she was grown up.

  If she grew up.

  Would the nausea ever go away? Tony felt foolish for ever dreaming about a life like this. Adventure was for the brave and the bold, and although Jane had said some kind words about those qualities within him, he still remained unconvinced. There were many moments when he longed for his old, quiet life. A life where he didn't matter, where nothing he did mattered. A life where he could slide through the cosmic fabric of the universe without being tethered to anyone. But now he could not escape. This new life had begun when the old world had died, born aflame with the promise of adventure and heroism, but that promise had been merely an illusion. Underlying that was the real truth, absolute horror everywhere he turned.

  Tony didn't want to admit it to anyone else, but he was losing sight of the beauty in the world.

  He, Jane, Phil, Tara, Saeed, and Groot were walking away from the cannibals’ camp, leaving the pile of mutilated bodies behind. Woe betide anyone who came across that grisly pile of mutilated bodies. Jane and Tara were leading. The little girl seemed unaffected by the world, skipping along and chatting happily. Phil was behind them, shuffling along. He had his own ghosts to deal with. Then came Tony, with Groot by his side. Saeed brought up the rear, as he always did.

  Tony glanced toward him and was filled with anger. Saeed could be as morose as he wanted after everything he had been through, but the way he had treated Tara, pushing her away like that, simply wasn't right. The more he glared at Saeed the more he grew annoyed, wishing that Saeed would Just. Get. Better. There wasn't time to mourn. There barely was any time to survive. The longer Saeed stayed in this fugue state, the worse it would be, and the more he would be a liability to the party. Tony had carried him long enough. He'd been patient enough with him, but Saeed needed to snap out of this mindset. Otherwise, he would get them all killed.

  “You know you can't keep going like this,” Tony began in a low tone. He pulled Saeed back. The two of them slowed their pace, increasing the distance between themselves and the others. Groot seemed to be caught in the middle.

  Saeed remained silent. Tony shook his head in disbelief.

  “I get that you've been through a lot, but so has Tara. You can't let your shit affect her. She doesn't deserve that. All she wanted was a hug, to say thank you for saving her life. Was that too much to ask? How do you think she feels now? You need to do something about this, Saeed, because you can't go on like this. I want you to get better. I want to see you move past this, but the longer you keep looking back the more you're going to blind yourself to the future.”

  Still Saeed remained silent, and all of Tony's frustrations bubbled to the surface.

  “Really? You're still going to do your silent penance? Saeed, we don't have the luxury of you doing this. You've see the world. You know what it's like. Do you really want to act like a monster to Tara? Do you want her to think you're one of the bad men?”

  “No, I don't,” Saeed replied, which surprised Tony. It was also a blessing in disguise, as Tony's voice had been rising steadily. The more a
gitated he became, the more he threatened to draw the attention of the others.

  “She's innocent in all of this, just like Aaminah was. And my daughter is not here. Have you ever loved anyone more than your own life?” he asked, his eyes still peering into the distance, looking at nothing.

  Tony was forced to admit that he hadn't. His life had been devoid of love. Ever since his parents had died he had been alone. Love was a foreign concept to him, especially the kind of love that Saeed was talking about. The love of a family, that wrapped around a person like a warm blanket and made everything seem okay, even in the darkest moments.

  “Perhaps it is easier for you to imagine what it would be like for me to be close to another woman so soon after my wife's death. To me, love always has meant putting those you love before yourself. It shows that other people mean more to you than your own life. I tried to put my family first in everything I did. I worked hard to give them a good life, and now they are gone. I have nothing left of them except the memories we shared, and all the love within me has disappeared. Tara reminds me that Aaminah is not here. She reminds me of all I have lost, all I shall never be again.”

  “She's just a little girl, Saeed.”

  “Yes, she is. You and Jane will do well looking after her, but I cannot.”

  “You can't be serious.”

  Saeed sighed. “You cannot understand the depth of my pain, Tony. Perhaps one day you will, maybe after you have lost someone you love. But now you must let me mourn in my own way, in my own time. I do not wish to talk about it any further.”

  “Well, we are going to talk about it, Saeed. I think I've given you a lot of leeway so far. I've saved your life more than once, and maybe I'm overstepping my boundaries here, but I think that allows me a little say in how things are. We just ate people, Saeed. The world has gone mad. The rules we lived by before have been broken, and there's nothing we can do about it. I'm sorry, but your family is gone and it's time to move on and look to the future. I can't keep looking over my shoulder, wondering if you're going to be alert enough to help, or if you're waiting to die.”

  “We're all waiting to die.”

  “That right there is exactly what you can't be saying. Tara doesn't need to know that! She's lost her parents too, but look at her, she's dancing and singing.”

  “You want me to skip along like a little girl?” Saeed said. Tony rolled his eyes and looked through the gaps in the leaves to the blue sky.

  “No, Saeed, I want you to...God...I don't know what the hell I want!” he said, throwing up his arms. The others turned. Jane moved Tara along until they were completely out of earshot. Phil understood that discretion was needed, and he increased his pace as well.

  “I wish I knew how to handle this! The world has gone insane. I don't even know how I'm managing to hold it together, but we just ate people, Saeed! People,” Tony said this last part in a hushed whisper. “I feel sick to my stomach and I don't know how I'm supposed to go on from this, but what else is there to do? One of the greatest sins in the world and we just carry on our merry way. What's even the point of doing something as bad as that if there are no consequences? It's like everything is meaningless. Why should we even bother trying to do the right thing when there's no difference between the two?”

  Tony paused for a moment as he caught his breath. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he continued, “I'm just so tired all the time and I don't know when it's going to end. If it's ever going to end. How am I supposed to find my place in the world when it's all gone insane? I can try holding onto our old values, but it's only going to get me so far. And I just...I just can't take it when I see a good man like you push away an innocent little girl. That's...that's my breaking point, Saeed. For all of this world's horror I can't take that from you.

  “All my life the only thing I've believed in has been heroes. That at some point, when people's backs are against the wall, they always will choose to do the right thing, the noble thing. I've always believed there are people out there who can do good, no matter what, and that when the world is in need they will rise up and show us all how to live. Yet, the more I see of this world the more I wonder if that was all just a delusion. How can I carry on believing that when I see so much death and pain around me? It's almost too much for my mind to bear. Where are the heroes, Saeed? I want to look around and believe that we're them, but then I see you push away Tara and I wonder if there are any heroes left anymore.”

  His words lingered in the air for a few moments. It was the first time Tony had given voice to the anguish inside him. Even saying it out loud hadn't made him feel much better.

  “I feel the same way about Allah,” Saeed eventually said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I always thought that Allah was there to protect us and look after us, that if you lived a good life by the laws that He set out, you would be rewarded in the end. I tried living my life as best I could. I have not always been perfect, and I have broken some of His laws, but I always have thought of myself as a good man. My family being killed wasn't part of the deal. I know all about Allah working in mysterious ways, and that they are in a better place, but that does not make things any better. The best place for them is right here, with me. That is where Nadya and Aaminah belong.

  “Instead, they were killed by random chance. Where is the plan in that? Why should I give my faith and only have pain in return? I want to be as strong as Ibrahim, but should we be punished when we find it difficult to meet an impossible ideal? I tried to teach Aaminah the right way to live, and now I cannot. When I look at that little girl, all I see is the family I lost. The life I never will have again. I am sorry you feel I am not being heroic enough, but right now what I want to do most of all is avoid pain. If that means I have to keep my distance from Tara, then so be it.”

  “She's not at fault for anything that's happened in this world, though, Saeed, and she shouldn't be made to feel like she is.”

  “I know, Tony, but every moment I am around her it feels as though my heart is being stabbed. I truly wish I could do as you asked, but it is impossible. I will try keeping my distance from her. I will be polite to her, but I cannot be everything you want me to be. I cannot be everything God wants me to be.”

  In that moment Tony was filled with regret at how he had attacked Saeed, when the man was burdened just as much as Tony, perhaps even more. Tony never had had much time for religion, but he realized then just how devout Saeed was, and how much the man felt betrayed by his own deity.

  There were no easy answers in this life. As much as Tony wished things were black and white, that evil and good were easy to identify, it wasn't that simple. Even the men who held Tara captive still looked after her. Their intentions were not pure, but they kept her alive when other people would have let her die...or worse.

  In the pages of his comic books, and in his own dreams, the world had been easy to decipher. Reality was far different than what he had expected, and he wished he knew how to move through the world while still holding true to his own ideals and values. He wanted to be a hero, but it wasn't as easy as his own heroes made it out to be.

  While they walked along Tony thought about what Saeed had said about love as well. How it meant loving others more than yourself. Tony never had had the opportunity to experience that love, and for the first time in a long time he wondered what his life would have been like if his parents hadn't died. In his youth he'd learned it did him no good to think of such matters, but once the thoughts had started to whirl there was no stopping them. Would he have been more successful, more driven? Would he have found a nice girl and fallen in love, married, and had a family of his own? Given what had happened, it may well have been for the best that he had lived a solitary life. He looked at Saeed and didn't envy the man for what he was going through. Tony had been spared the joys of being in love, but he also had been spared the pain of what came afterward. It was a trade he was willing to make.

  Behind him, he heard a rustling sou
nd and turned to see what was emerging from the trees. A thousand terrible thoughts rushed around in his mind. He raised the baseball bat, ready to strike at whatever was coming through the trees, but he could see nothing. He peered into the darkness. The others turned around, wondering why Tony had stopped.

  “What's going on?” Jane asked.

  “I thought I heard something,” Tony said. He'd seen something too, the soft ripples of something pushing through low branches. His searching eyes found nothing, though, and his grip on the baseball bat relaxed.

  “I must be imagining things,” he said sheepishly, trying to laugh off his embarrassment. The last thing he wanted was to be going crazy.

  “There's a big worm!” Tara shouted.

  Tony's eyes darted to where she was pointing, and he realized he hadn't been imagining things at all. It just was surprising that the thing coming out of the forest was a snake, and it was slithering directly toward Tara. Tony's eyes widened as he leaped forward, and only was bested by Groot. The pit bull's natural predatory instincts kicked in and he growled as he lunged forward, but Tony shouted at him to stop, not wanting the dog to bite into a poisonous snake. Groot didn't listen, though. The dog was in too much of a frenzy to be aware of anything other than the snake. Groot was almost upon the snake when Phil rolled down and grabbed Groot in his arms. Groot's gnashing teeth snapped angrily, frustrated that he had been taken away from the hunt.

  Tony sprinted forward. By this point Jane had her arms on Tara's shoulders, trying to pull the girl away. Tara seemed oblivious to the danger, pointing and smiling with glee at what she thought was a big worm. When Tony brought the baseball bat crashing down, Jane covered Tara's eyes. But Tony had missed with his first strike, the snake's lithe body twisting around the bat. A clump of dirt flew up and Tony brought the bat back, his hands shaking with frustration. Sweat dripped from his temples. He didn't want Tara hurt by this snake. Groot was snarling by him as he lunged forward and brought the bat down again. This time it hit the snake, and the animal hissed loudly as it turned back and faced Tony. It's beady black eyes stared at him, and its sharp fangs looked as though they dealt death. Without hesitation, Tony swung the bat at its head, but the snake ducked and darted forward. Tony spun on his heels like a ballerina, trying to keep track of the snake's movements.