The Dreamer, Her Angel and the Stars

by Linda S. North

  Her mother asked, "Can I get you something to drink?"

  "No, I'm okay. You don't have to wait on me. I know where the kitchen is."

  Joanna said sheepishly, "Yes, I suppose you do." She hesitated before asking, "How are things--really?"

  "Okay, I guess. It's kind of boring with nothing to do except read or go online." She paused. "I'm thinking about taking classes for an aerospace engineering degree."

  "Oh?"

  "Kiernan said she'll have the project on her light-speed ship up and running in two years and wants to hire me as a design engineer."

  "How do you feel about doing that kind of work?"

  "I think it'll be interesting, and I would enjoy it. Of course, I can probably go back to teaching physics after the baby--" Ariel couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

  For a few seconds her mother didn't say anything. Ariel saw sadness flash across her face before she said, "You always did have a thing for spaceships. Do you mind me asking how you and Kiernan are getting along?"

  "Now that she's back at work I don't see much of her." Of course, that was Ariel's doing. Ever since that day in the orchard she wanted to distance herself from Kiernan, fearing Kiernan would seek her out for sex, and, she might not be averse to complying. She no longer wanted to talk about Kiernan, so changed the subject. "Didn't you tell me the other night Seth and Leigh are due for their first report cards?"

  "They should be out this Friday. I've received good feedback from their teachers, so I'm expecting good report cards. They should be home at three today and would love to see you."

  "I'd love to see them too, but I want to go riding before dark." She was silent for a moment while contemplating how to broach a subject she knew was awkward. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Mom, I know you're out searching for a job. I want to help until you find one. In fact, if you don't want to go back to work--"

  "No, Ariel. I'll not accept money from you."

  "Why not? I always helped with the bills before."

  "When you were living here."

  "Please, Mom. I know you won't touch the money Kiernan gave you. But this is my money, and it's more than I could spend in ten life times. I want you to have some of it."

  "Money Kiernan gave you?"

  "Yes. Why not use it," Ariel said in a bitter tone. "I have no job, and I'll be earning it soon enough."

  "Sweetheart, I'm--"

  "I'll put some funds in my checking account at the County Employee's Credit Union. Don't forget, your name is also on the account, and if ever you need it, please use it. You don't even have to get my permission."

  "I still have funds in savings. And I also have my application in at four places for a full-time position, so maybe I'll find a job soon."

  "Just in case--okay?"

  "I'll think about it."

  Ariel knew she'd said about as much as she could on the subject and went on to something else. "Anything of interest happen lately?"

  For a few seconds, Joanna was silent. "Mysha called me two days ago."

  Ariel stopped breathing for a moment. "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I didn't want to do it over the phone. I wanted to tell you in person."

  "What did she say? What happened?"

  "She wanted to know why you married Kiernan."

  "Go on."

  "I told her you had your reasons, and I wasn't at liberty to divulge them. She asked me for the number at Crestview. I refused, of course. She then said for you to contact her and tell her why. She said you owed her an explanation."

  Ariel said with an ache in her voice, "I'm so sorry I put you in that position."

  "No, Ariel. It wasn't you who put me in that position."

  ARIEL TUCKED THE bottom of her favorite black Harley-Davidson t-shirt into her well-worn riding jeans. Wearing this shirt with its flaming skull below the Harley logo always made her feel dangerous and slightly sinister. She sat on the edge of her bed, pulled on her black riding boots, and then stood up and stomped her feet a few times to get them to settle into the boots.

  She surveyed her old room. Everything was as she left it, even the stuffed gray bulldog wearing a black jacket and black motorcycle cap sitting on her dresser top. She picked it up, feeling her heart lurch. Mysha gave it to her on the first night they made love. She opened the top drawer of her dresser, put the bulldog in, and closed the drawer.

  Sitting back down on her bed, she reached over to her bedside table for her IMP. There were seventeen calls from Mysha. She couldn't bring herself to listen to them now.

  Today would only be half a workday for Mysha, and she should be home. She clicked the activate button, her voice shaky. "Contact Mysha Leavill." Anxiety made her palms sweat, and she wiped them on her jeans.

  After two beeps Mysha answered, "Ariel." Mysha's face on the screen seemed surprised.

  "Mysha, I'm coming over."

  "When?"

  "Now."

  "I'll be here." Mysha cut the connection.

  Ariel waited a few seconds for her heartbeat to slow before hurrying down the hall to the kitchen. Her mother was cleaning out the refrigerator. "Mom, I'm going riding."

  Joanna pulled her head out of the fridge and kissed her daughter's cheek. "Don't overdo it, and call me."

  "I will. I'll be over next week and pick up my car." She went into the living room, removed her black jacket from the coat rack, and put it on. She took her helmet from its peg on the wall, opened the front door, and said on her way out, "Later."

  THE WHITISH PATCHES of bark on the bare sycamores in front of Mysha's apartment made them appear as skeletal sentinels silhouetted against the gray October sky. They reminded Ariel of the bleak, surreal landscape she would expect to see in an old black and white noir film. Sometimes she wondered whether she had stepped into such a movie, forced to remain until the desolate and forlorn ending.

  She parked her Harley by the curb and put her mind on automatic to enable her to walk up to Mysha's door. Before her finger touched the doorbell, the door swung open, and Mysha filled the doorway, her face cold and austere. Both remained silent, staring at the other. The dark and accusing look in Mysha's eyes cut Ariel to the marrow. She was flooded with shame and guilt.

  Mysha moved aside and motioned with her head for Ariel to enter through the door into what was once a place of warmth, caring, sharing, and, yes, the discovery of passion. Contemplating briefly the walls and furnishings, she expected to hear some echo of those things, but there was only silence, pregnant with reproach at her betrayal.

  She focused once more on Mysha, seeing in her eyes the soft brown of a wounded doe.

  "Why?" Mysha asked in a voice laden with sorrow. She clicked the door shut and leaned against it.

  "It was the only way to save my mother from going to prison for corporate espionage."

  "I don't believe you."

  "It's the truth. I did it for my family."

  "You know, I couldn't believe what I was hearing in the media. It didn't make sense for you to marry O'Shay after meeting her just twice. Why would O'Shay want to marry someone she met on only two occasions? No way. She's from a totally different world from us. She moves among the rich and famous and can have her pick of any available woman who moves in her circle. Why you?"

  Ariel was at a loss as to what to say. "I--I can give you only my reasons--as I told you--"

  "To save your mother. You want me to believe Kiernan O'Shay came to you and said, 'If you marry me, I won't prosecute your mother'?"

  Ariel swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. "No. I went to her and offered to marry her if she didn't prosecute my mother."

  "What? That has to be the craziest thing I've ever heard! What gave you the idea she would accept?" Mysha shook her head in denial.

  "I can't give you her reasons for accepting."

  Mysha placed her hands on her hips and searched Ariel's face derisively.

  "It's the truth, Mysha. I'm not lying."

  Mysha's laugh was mirthle
ss. "Yeah, right. She might make a deal to fuck you for a while. But marry you? You're not rich or famous--what's in it for her?"

  "Please, try to understand--" Tears threatened to flow and Ariel fought to keep her composure.

  "No! You knew I would help. You should have waited until I got home and let me find a way to help you and your mother out of this situation."

  "I was afraid my mother might be arrested right away and this would hit the media. I couldn't let that happen. Please understand."

  "I understand perfectly! I was falling in love with you. I'm glad I found out what you really are before it was too late."

  "Mysha, honestly, I care for you--"

  "Honestly? Be honest, Ariel, how many times did you meet on the weeknights with her?"

  "What are you saying?"

  "What I'm saying is this story you've concocted about not being interested in O'Shay when she asked you for a date is just that, a story. You may have refused at first, but later changed your mind and started seeing her--"

  "That's not true! I would never do anything like that!"

  "Before long, you were involved with her. Maybe your mother did get caught stealing secrets--or was framed. But I bet that's all beside the point. You already had O'Shay hooked on your sweet and innocent act and probably hooked on something else as well." She gave Ariel's body a salacious once-over. "Probably got her in bed and sweet talked her into dropping charges while you were fucking her brains out and also fucked a marriage proposal out of her--"

  "Damn you, Mysha! I can't believe you think I'm like that. You don't know me at all."

  During the strained silence, Ariel's eyes ached with unshed tears. She understood Mysha being hurt and lashing out, but for Mysha to think she was a lying, manipulative bitch--

  "You're right, Ariel. I really don't know you at all." Mysha sneeringly asked, "How much do you charge her to fuck you?"

  Ariel barely kept from completely breaking down in tears. In a trembling voice, she said, "Mysha, I'm sorry. That's all I know to say."

  "You've said enough. Get out!"

  Mysha threw open the door, and Ariel quickly exited into the bleakness. The slamming of the door felt like a blow to her heart.

  Ariel mounted her bike, wiped the tears from her eyes, and pulled on her helmet, yanking the straps tight. She would ride into the mountains today and give herself to the road, letting her bike take her away from the pain, and away from herself for a while.

  Chapter Nineteen

  "HOW WAS YOUR day, ma'am?" Mrs. Belfort asked as she took Kiernan's coat.

  "It went well," was her automatic reply, even though she was exhausted from a hellacious day at the office negotiating with representatives of the Chinese Government who wanted to dissect every point in a contract for delivery of freighters. "Anything I need to know?"

  "Michael drove Miss Ariel over to her mother's at nine this morning so she could pick up her motorcycle. Miss Ariel has not returned."

  Kiernan hesitated before saying, "When she's back, tell her I want to see her right away. I'm going to my suite to shower, and then I'll be in my study."

  "Yes, ma'am, I will."

  Kiernan headed up the stairs for her shower and fresh clothes. If Ariel wasn't home by the time she changed clothes, she would call Joanna Thorsen to find out what was keeping her.

  After she showered, she put on a dark green, cowl-neck sweater, and a pair of brown slacks. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table and saw it was only twenty minutes until dinner was served.

  Dinner was the only time she'd been with Ariel in the last week. Kiernan had tried to entice her into going out to dinner one night, watching a movie at home, or going for a drive. But Ariel complained she was still tired from her sickness, which Kiernan knew was an excuse to avoid being in her company.

  She had believed Ariel was actually opening up to her until that day in the orchard. Kiernan gave a mental cringe when she recalled what happened. Ever since that day, her desire for Ariel was right beneath the surface, erupting forth at the most inopportune times, like on the elevator at work when a pretty blonde woman got on, reminding her of Ariel. Or the scent and taste of the apple she ate for a snack one day, reminding her of how enticingly sexual Ariel had been when she took a bite of the apple Kiernan offered.

  These memories, and her desire, were making it hard for her to concentrate on her work. Now she was having erotic dreams about Ariel that woke her in the early hours of the morning and prevented her from falling back to sleep unless she pleasured herself. But that method didn't always work, often leaving her frustrated and lonely, wishing the object of her dreams was sharing her bed. But the way things were going with Ariel, that wasn't going to happen.

  She hastened downstairs to her study, sat at her desk and ordered, "Telecom on, contact Joanna Thorsen."

  After three beeps Joanna answered, "Hello. Oh. Ms. O'Shay, what can I do for you?"

  The vid-screen wasn't set on transmit at the Thorsen residence, so she couldn't see Joanna's face. But Joanna could apparently see her, so she kept her countenance neutral in light of Joanna's frosty tone.

  This was always an awkward moment for her, because she was never sure how to address Ariel's mother. Joanna was always formal with her, letting her disdain of Kiernan show in referring to her as Ms. O'Shay.

  "Ms. Thorsen, is Ariel there?"

  There was a pause. "No. She left here at one."

  "Did she say where she was going?"

  "Only that she was going out on her motorcycle."

  Kiernan couldn't help but let the uneasiness enter her voice. "Does she usually ride for this long, and when it's dark?"

  The screen flicked on and Kiernan saw Joanna's face. "A few times she has ridden too far and didn't make it home until a few minutes after sundown. I'm sure that's the reason. It's been a while since she's had a chance to ride, and the time has probably gotten away from her."

  "Do you think I should contact the Sheriff's department?"

  "No. They would contact you if she were in an accident. She'll show up. She doesn't make it a habit of staying out late."

  Kiernan hadn't informed Ariel she needed to have her driver's license changed to her married name, or have her new address and telecom number entered into the system. If she were in an accident, they would contact Joanna. "If you hear anything, please call me immediately."

  Joanna hesitated and then kindly said, "I will. Call it a mother's intuition, but she's fine."

  "Then I'll trust your intuition. Thank you, Joanna."

  "You're welcome, Kiernan. Bye."

  There was a knock at the door and Kiernan thought, Ariel. "Enter." Disappointment filled her when she saw it was Mrs. Belfort.

  "Ma'am, dinner is ready."

  "I'm not hungry. I'll go to the kitchen and get something later."

  "Yes, ma'am. I'll tell Ricardo to keep it warm for you."

  "Thank you."

  Mrs. Belfort departed, and Kiernan's thoughts sped right away to Ariel. Kiernan wasn't thrilled Ariel rode motorcycles. They didn't call them suicide machines for nothing. She'd hoped that giving Ariel the Ferrari would get her attention on something safer, but Ariel had never taken the car out, not once. Kiernan had to have Michael take it for a spin a couple of times a week to keep it in running order.

  She leaned back into her chair, worry nagging her, as well as a bit of anger that Ariel hadn't called to let her know she was all right. Perhaps she was visiting a friend. A thought entered her head, and her stomach contracted. No, she thought. She wouldn't-- Not after Kiernan ordered her not to do it. Her memory replayed as much as she remembered about ordering Ariel not to have any contact with Mysha Leavill. She couldn't recall Ariel ever saying she would do as she requested.

  A wave of rage rushed through her. She was with Mysha!

  THE TEMPERATURE TOOK a drastic dip after sunset, pushing Ariel toward Crestview. It was hard for her to think of Crestview as home. She doubted she would ever think of it that way. Home
was a refuge from the punches and knocks received while living life, and where one felt surrounded by love and caring. Definitely not the way she would describe Kiernan's residence.

  She swung onto the road to Crestview and stopped at the gate, lifting her visor. The guard on duty, Henry, hastened over and shone the retina scanner into her eyes. Satisfied, he went back to the security station, opened the gate, and motioned her through. She continued up the road in second gear, then gently tapped the back brake before swinging her Harley into Crestview's drive, her headlight sweeping across the trunks of the trees lining the drive. Their black shadows closed in and shortened the closer the light came to them. A glance at the lighted face of the chronometer on the fork cap showed 6:50. Dinner was over, but there were always leftovers. She could prepare a plate and take it to her suite to eat.

  She wondered whether Kiernan would say anything about why she was getting back so late. She had ridden up to Lookout Mountain, enjoying the freedom of riding, and she managed to lose herself for a while from the trauma of meeting with Mysha. She forcefully pushed her encounter with Mysha out of her thoughts, knowing she would weep if she didn't.

  Gearing down to first, she pulled in the circular drive and parked her Harley to the side. She would ask Kiernan if she could have a space in the garage for her bike. This shouldn't present a problem, since the garage was big enough to hold at least a dozen cars. She had counted seven vehicles, including the Ferrari wedding gift.

  She removed her helmet and pulled off her gloves with her teeth, dropping them into the helmet. She ran her fingers through her hair, bounded up the steps, and palmed the keypad. She was on her way to the stairs to go up to her suite when Mrs. Belfort appeared. "Miss Ariel. Ms. O'Shay said for you to see her as soon as you returned. She's in her study."

  "Thank you."

  She was turning to go down the hall to Kiernan's study when Mrs. Belfort said, "I'll take your jacket and helmet, and put them in your suite."

  After handing Mrs. Belfort her helmet, she unzipped and removed her jacket, handing that to her.