by Kaylee Ryan
“Why do we want to slow them down?” I ask, confused.
“Oh, my sweet Austyn.” She shoots me a wicked grin. “We don’t want to slow them down, but we do want to wrap ourselves around them. This is our excuse.”
I have to admit, it’s a solid plan. So when she lines the guys up, I sneak up behind Slade and look over at my best friend. She nods, and I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He grips my legs, holding me to him. Not once does he ask what I’m doing or get pissed that I’m messing with his race. He just holds onto me.
“Try your luck now.” Savannah laughs loudly.
The guys exchange a look. I can’t see Slade’s face, but from the look on Brandon’s, having us on their back is nothing for them. Of course it’s not, they’re marines and have been through rigorous training for this sort of thing. We didn’t think about that.
“Don’t let go,” Slade tells me. He releases his hold on me and gets ready.
“Go!” Savannah yells.
Slade takes off with a jolt, and I squeal with laughter. Water sloshes over us as his wide strokes move us to the opposite side of the pool. I’m too engrossed in him, the feel of his muscles rippling under my touch from the effort of his strokes against the water to pay attention to our friends.
“Tie!” Brandon cheers.
Slade laughs, and I can feel the rumble in his chest. “Come here,” he says, looking over his shoulder. I’m not sure how we manage to do it, but I slide from his back to his front. My legs still wrapped around his waist, my arms around his neck. “You’re my good luck charm, angel.”
“Hmmm… an angel and a knight,” I muse, causing him to grin.
“Opposites attract and all that.”
“Attraction, is that what this is?” I ask. Being wrapped in his arms makes me feel bold. That, and we have hours left before he has to leave.
“I’m not sure,” he confesses. With me still holding onto him, wrapped around his body, he moves us away from our friends. “I’ve never felt anything like this, Austyn. I’ve never had my heart race so hard that it feels as though it could explode just by looking at someone.” He presses his forehead against mine. “It’s attraction, yes, but I’d like to think that it’s more than that.”
“It’s more,” I confirm.
“I’m leaving.”
“You’re a marine.”
“I can’t ask you to wait.”
“You didn’t. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to.”
“This is crazy.”
“It is.”
“You guys want to grab something to eat?” Brandon calls over, interrupting us.
“Can we talk more about this?” he asks, lifting his head to look at me.
“Later.’ I press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “We have the rest of the night.”
“Not long enough,” he mutters.
My heart stumbles. He’s right; it’s not long enough. We just need to make every second count, that’s all. We climb out of the pool and dry off. Brandon and Slade work out that we’re just going to meet at the hotel restaurant. None of us really want to leave the sanctuary of this place, knowing that the next time we do leave, they will be gone for a long time. It’s not something any of us really want to face, even though we have to.
THE HOTEL RESTAURANT IS GOOD, the company even better. Once Brandon and I have paid the bill, we decide it’s time to head back to our rooms. It’s a little before seven, and I have twelve hours left with her. Twelve hours to memorize the sound of her voice, the feel of her soft skin, the smell of her hair and learn everything I can about her. Although I can’t ask her to wait, I want to. I want to beg and plead for her to be mine. I know that’s selfish, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting it all the same.
“Dad will be here at seven to get us,” Brandon tells me on the elevator ride up to our rooms.
“I’ll be ready,” I assure him.
Our rooms are side-by-side. The girls walk ahead, and I see Austyn nod. Then they hug. “Take care of her,” Brandon says.
“You know I will. Besides, we’re not going to be doing anything that she needs care for.” He looks at me skeptically. “I can’t fuck her and leave her.” That doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Just the thought alone has my cock hard. The thought of leaving her physically causes my chest to ache.
He nods. “See you in the morning, brother.”
We walk the small distance to our rooms. Austyn is leaning against the door looking a hell of a lot more relaxed than she did earlier. Without saying a word, I pull the key card out of my pocket and unlock the door. “After you.”
She steps inside with a smile. “I can’t believe how nice this room is.” Once inside, she turns, a small smile on her lips. “I thought we could watch a movie or something, I mean, unless you have something else planned?” she rambles, and looks ridiculously cute doing so.
“A movie’s good. You pick. I’m going to go change.” I grab some gym shorts out of my bag and disappear into the bathroom to change. “Find something?” I ask her.
“No.” She tosses the remote on the bed. “This is your last night here, you pick. I’ll change.”
I watch her as she grabs her bag and takes it with her in the bathroom. It takes her longer than me. I scroll mindlessly through the channels. I couldn’t care less what we watch, as long as I’m spending time with her. When the bathroom door opens, I turn my head. She’s in a tank top and a pair of short shorts. Nothing too revealing, but I can easily see the swell of her breasts, and then there are her long tan legs.
“Find something?” She throws my words back at me.
“Nah, we can scroll through and look together.” I slide back on the bed and rest against the headboard. Austyn climbs in the opposite side, doing the same thing, leaving plenty of space between us.
Remote in hand, I scan through the stations. We settle on Family Feud, both of us trying to answer the questions. Out of nowhere, a loud crack of thunder booms, causing her to jump. Wind and rain pelt the window of our room.
“I love to sleep when it rains.”
“Do you? What’s so different about it?”
“I don’t know really. I guess maybe it’s the soothing sound as it hits against the roof or the windows. As long as I don’t have to worry about tornados, I even like the storms.”
Pointing the remote at the TV, I turn it off. The room is dark, and all we can hear is the wind, the rain, and the cracking of thunder. Bolts of lightning shining through the window is our only source of light, coming at short intervals. “Austyn,” I whisper her name, but even through the storm, she can hear me.
“Yeah.”
“Can I hold you?”
“Slade, I—”
“Nothing else. I just want to hold you. I want to experience what it’s like to listen to the storm with you in my arms.” She doesn’t reply, but I can see her shadow as she moves closer. Scooting down, I lay my head on the pillow and open my arms to her. She slides in close and rests her head on my chest. Still and quiet, listening to the storm rage outside, she remains in my arms. Unfortunately, it’s not the only storm brewing. The one inside me is raging as well. The one that wants to hold onto her and never let her go. The one that wants to rebel and say fuck the Marines, and just be here with her or wherever she is. The one that roars to life when I think about leaving this amazing girl when I’ve just found her.
“You’re changing it.” She breaks the silence.
“Changing what, angel?”
“The storm.”
“Changing it how?”
“Every time it storms, I’ll forever think of this moment. Think of you.”
“Will you?” I ask hesitantly. “Will you think of me?” I sound like a pussy, but I need to know. I need to know how she feels, what she wants before I leave.
“Every day.”
Closing my eyes, I let her reply sink in. “I can’t ask you to wait for me.” I repeat my words from earlier, my stomach a knot of unea
se.
“Did you ask?”
“Smartass.” I tickle her side.
“What do you want, Slade?”
“You.”
“What does that mean? You want me until tomorrow morning? You want me when you come home on leave? This isn’t your home.”
“I don’t have a home to go to, Austyn. I have no one in my life who I care to see, at least I didn’t until now.”
“How long are you gone?”
I know she already knows the answer, but I tell her anyway. “A while. SOI is months of training without leave.”
“So we go slow.”
“That’s not fair to you. You didn’t sign up for the Marines. I did. Why should you put your life on hold?”
“You do realize what you do it’s incredibly selfless, right?”
“It’s not. I had nothing, no one. The Marines gave me purpose.”
“Slade.” She lifts her head to look at me. “You put your life on the line to defend our country. You have to go away for months at a time from those you care about. You sacrifice yourself for our country. I get to go to college and hang out with Savvy on the weekends because you and all the others enlisted. You’re giving me and every other American that freedom.”
“I didn’t care about anyone when I signed up,” I admit. It’s true I didn’t. I had nothing to look forward to. Sure, I could have managed on my own, but my grades were shit, so college was out of the question. Plus it’s expensive, and even with selling the house, I couldn’t afford it. Then I would have needed a place to live. The Marines gave me a family, gave me a home.
“And now?” she asks hesitantly.
I run my fingers through her hair. “Now, there’s you. I have my marine brothers, and I expected that, but I never expected you. I never expected to feel as though I’m walking away from everything good in my life by going back.”
“You’re not. I’ll be here.”
I think about what she’s saying, and I want that. I want her. I want to call her mine. But that would be selfish. I need her to be certain. “Let’s go slow. See how this works with me being gone. You might change your mind.”
“I’m not that shallow,” she fires back.
I pull her closer to me, worried she’ll pull away. “That’s not what I meant.” I’m quick to diffuse the situation. “It’s hard, Austyn. Brandon, he was miserable all through boot camp being away from Savannah.”
“She was too.”
“I don’t want that for you.”
“You don’t get to make the choice. That’s up to me. What about you? Are you saying you’re not going to miss me?”
“You know better than that. I’m here thinking about how bad it would be if I didn’t go back. What would the punishment be?” I let my words sink in. “What do you want, Austyn?”
“You.”
I release a heavy breath. “How do we do this? I’m out of my element here, both with my training and with you. I don’t know what to expect. I just found you but I’m going away for months. It’s not just a short vacation. It’s long periods of time.”
“We take it one day at a time. Savvy said Brandon gets his phone now and his computer.”
“Yeah, we have more liberties now we’re beyond boot camp.”
“We talk, we text, we e-mail, and there are these really cool inventions, I don’t know if you’ve heard of them, but they’re called pen and paper. They even have these nifty things called envelopes that you can put them in and send them to someone.”
“Ha ha, smarty pants.”
“If we want this, we can do this.”
I have to be certain. “Is this what you want?” I hold my breath waiting for her to answer.
“I want to get to know you better. I want to see what this crazy intense flutter is in my belly. I get it every time I’m around you, get a phone call or text message from you. I want to explore that.”
“That’s just it, Austyn, you won’t be seeing me.”
“I didn’t say it was going to be easy.” Her thumb brushes against my arm. I don’t even think she’s aware she’s doing it, but with every caress, heat pulses through me. “Nothing worth having ever is. At least that’s what my mom always says.”
“Regardless of what does or doesn’t happen between us, I’m grateful to have met you. You give a guy hope.” I struggle to keep the emotion out of my voice.
“Hope?”
I close my eyes briefly before looking over at her. “Hope that my future isn’t as bleak as I once expected it to be.”
She shimmies up the bed, my hand still in her hair. She’s watching me. I can’t see her eyes, but I know their color. I know the way they sparkle when she looks at me. Without saying a word, she inches closer. Her sweet breath brushes past my face. She stills, her lips mere inches from mine. With my one hand still buried in her hair, the other cups her cheek. It’s the exact moment she leans in and presses her lips to mine. The kiss starts slow, a molding of our mouths as we take our time savoring the moment. It’s not until her tongue presses between lips, seeking entrance that the game changes. I open for her, my tongue accepting hers as if this could be our last chance. I need her closer. Removing my hands from her hair, I grab her hips and guide her to straddle me.
“Slade?” It’s a question. I can hear the insecurity in her voice.
“We’re not going there,” I tell her. “Not tonight, not when I leave you in a few short hours.” My words must ease her fears as she throws one leg over my hips and straddles me. “I wish I could see you,” I whisper into the darkness.
“I—we could turn on a light.”
“You okay with that?”
She laughs nervously. “Honestly, I don’t know. This is new for me. I’ve never been alone with a guy like this, in this position. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I relax into the pillow at her words, her confession both surprising and welcome. “Can I confess something without losing my knight status?” I ask playfully. That makes her laugh. The room is still bathed in darkness which is going to make my confession easier. “I’ve never been here either. It’s all been with you.”
“How is that possible?” she asks.
“I told you I was a loner in school. I didn’t go out, I had Gran to take care of and spend time with. I felt guilty leaving her alone after everything she did for me. She saved me. Nothing else really mattered to me. No one ever caught my attention like you have.”
“Guys at my school, aside from Brandon, they only want sex. I’ve grown up watching my parents and the love they share for each other. I never wanted to be the “hit it and quit it” girl. Savvy and Brandon are proof its possible at our age. I want that. I want a relationship, not a guarantee of marriage and a future, but the hope of one. You can’t get that hooking up. I’ve held out, not willing to settle.”
“And yet you’re here with me, the night before I leave for months.”
“I’m here because I want to be. In the time you’ve been here, you’ve shown me what kind of guy you are. You’ve not once tried to sleep with me, use me as a hookup. You’re more than that. I feel it here.” She raises my hand and places it over her heart. “My instincts have never steered me wrong.”
“What are your instincts telling you?”
She pauses, lacing our fingers together on both hands, resting them on her thighs that are still straddling me. “They’re telling me that I’m where I am supposed to be. They’re telling me that you’re worth it, that what we could be is worth it, and no amount of distance can change that.”
“Is this how it happens, Austyn? We’ve known each other a little over a week.”
“I’m not saying I’m in love with you. I’m saying I think I could be… with some time, getting to know you.”
My heart’s in my mouth when I reply, “We don’t have time.”
“Slade, we don’t have to be in the same state or same country to get to know each other. We communicate. That’s the key, right? Good communication?”
“Communication, huh?” I ask with a smile.
“Mmm hmmm.” She hums her reply.
“I guess I should communicate with you that I want to kiss you.”
I can hear the smile in her voice. “Is that so?” She sits forward, and I know she can feel my rock-hard cock beneath her. “Oh!” She moans her surprise.
I raise my hips, not bothering to hide what she does to me. “Can I kiss you, angel?” I want more than that. I want all of her. But I meant what I told Combs. No way can I fuck her and leave her. And that’s not just to spare her feelings, but mine. I’m slowly becoming addicted to her, and the thought of leaving is tearing me up. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I was able to feel her from the inside. I don’t know if I’d be strong enough to walk away.
“Please,” she whispers as she leans in, and presses her lips to mine. Her hands that were gripping mine let go and she braces her hands on either side of my head.
The kiss is slow, just like all the others we’ve shared. I run my fingers up and down her back, stroking softly, letting her take the lead.
“I want more,” she whispers against my lips.”
“Tell me.”
“Can we take your shirt off?”
I lift, and she moves back at the same time. She climbs off my lap and watches as I pull my T-shirt over my head and toss it on the floor. Lying back on the bed, I wait for her next move. I wish I could see her, we never did turn the lights on, but I imagine that’s where some of her boldness is coming from.
“I want….” Her voice trails off.
“Tell me.”
“Savvy, she talks about skin to skin, that after, that’s her favorite. I’ve never felt that.”
Fuck. “You want that?”
“Yes.”
A simple, straightforward answer that makes my heart sing. Sitting up, I reach out to her. Finding the hem of her tank top, I pull it up, slowly, gently, giving her time to stop me. She doesn’t. “Lift your arms,” I say into the darkness. I feel her raise them and I pull her tank over her head and toss it on the floor. I lie back on the bed and place my hand on her back, guiding her down with me.