by Kaylee Ryan
I release her. “Me?” I ask innocently, looking up at her. My fingers slide lower as I push inside. “Everything okay?” I smirk.
“Better than okay,” she murmurs.
“I meant the call, baby. That was Savannah, right?” I ask, continuing to pump my fingers in and out of her.
“I-I can’t think right now.”
“You ready to come?”
“Is that a trick question?”
I chuckle and press my lips to hers. I take my time tracing her lips with my tongue, then mimic my fingers, teasing her. Her hands wrap around my neck, and she holds me to her, demanding control. “Right… there,” she speaks against my lips.
I cannot only see it, the way her body stiffens, the way her eyes close, the way her chest rises with her ragged breath, but I can feel it. Her walls tighten around my fingers. I know the exact moment she lets go and is consumed with pleasure.
Pleasure I give her.
“Welcome back.” I grin when she opens her eyes.
“You’re really good at that.”
“Only for you.” I kiss the corner of her mouth. “Now, why was your best friend blowing up your phone?”
“Oh!” Her eyes light up with excitement. “They’re engaged.”
“He finally did it.” I smile a genuine smile.
“What do you mean? Did you know?”
“I did. He bought the ring when we were in Kentucky on leave.”
“You didn’t tell me?” She pouts.
I nip at her bottom lip. “Nope. He wanted me to keep it a secret, and you two are too close. You might have let it slip.”
“I see how it is, bros before hos.” She chuckles.
“No. You are first in my life, always. This was me keeping a surprise for a friend.”
“I forgive you.” She kisses me quickly. “They want to hang out today, grab a late breakfast, and maybe go bowling or something.”
“I’m wherever you are.”
“I told them we’d be ready in an hour, so I need to get moving.” She hops out of bed and gathers her clothes. “Don’t follow me or we’ll never get out of here,” she sasses over her shoulder.
I throw my head back and laugh. She’s right. Now that I’ve had her, know what she feels like, I crave her. All of her. We’d most definitely be late. I gather some clothes and head to the other bathroom to shower and get ready. My girl is too tempting.
Thirty minutes later, we’re meeting Savannah and Combs in the restaurant of the hotel. As soon as Austyn sees them, the girls are rushing into a hug. “Let me see the ring,” Austyn squeals.
When I reach Combs, I shake his hand. He’s grinning like a fool, not that I can blame him. This is what he wanted, and he’s getting it. He gets to keep the love of his life and call her his forever. I turn to look at the girls and see them laughing and smiling, and I can’t help but hope this is where we’ll end up. I want this exact scenario where it’s my girl showing off the ring.
“All right you two, let’s eat.” Combs swoops Savannah away from Austyn and leads us to a table near the back of the restaurant.
The girls chatter on about weddings, and Combs and I are pussy whipped enough to enjoy, and sit back, listening to them. I see him every day. I want to soak up as much of her as I can. I’m sure he feels the same about Savannah. If sitting in this restaurant listening to them talk all-things wedding makes her happy, then I’m good with that. She’s next to me, my hand resting on her thigh. All is right in my world.
“SLADE KNEW AND DIDN’T TELL me,” I tell Savannah. We’re sitting at the bowling alley on base. We’re on our second game, and so far, the guys are kicking our asses.
“Did he? I guess he was afraid you would tell me.” She laughs.
“Gah! That’s what he said. I can keep a secret.”
“You can. I know that. However, you can’t hide that you have one. I would have known something was up and with where my head was, it’s probably a good thing you didn’t know.”
“You guys good?”
“Yeah, we are.” Happiness radiates from her, and I honestly don’t remember her looking quite this happy before. “We talked before he even popped the question. I think we both had fears. He was afraid of taking me from school and my family. He wasn’t sure if I still wanted everything we talked about. I told him my fear of always being alone. He reminded me that I can go home on holidays when he’s gone to be with my parents and his. And they can come to me.”
“I’m so happy for you.” I squeeze her hand. “You have any idea when you want to get married?”
“Now,” Brandon chimes in, taking the seat next to her, and making me laugh.
“Your turn, angel,” Slade says, taking the one next to me.
“I suck at this game.”
“Nah, you just need some practice.” He smacks me on the ass as I stand to take my turn. “Show me what you got.”
“Oh, I think you already know what I got,” I say in the cheesiest flirty voice I can muster.
He’s out of his chair and stalking toward me. He grabs my hips and pulls me back into his chest. His lips land on my neck and he kisses up to my ear. “I know what you’ve got because you’re mine.” He nips at my lobe. “Let me help you.” He positions my hips and helps me square my shoulders when I’m holding the ball. “Now, walk up slowly and release. Not too much force.”
I do as he says and release the ball. It’s going so slow down the lane it’s as if we’re watching it in slow motion. I hold my breath, waiting to see if I’m going to get another gutter ball. When the ball connects with the pins, it knocks down seven. “Seven!” I cheer. Turning, I see him still standing there wearing a sexy grin. “I think I need a kiss for luck for this next one,” I tell him.
“You don’t need a reason for me to kiss you.” He snakes an arm around my waist and presses his lips to mine.
“Get a room!” Brandon yells out, laughing.
“We’ve got one,” Slade fires back. He kisses me again, this time just a short peck to my lips. “Good luck, babe.”
Trying to focus, I toss the ball down the lane, and this time it goes straight to the gutter, just like my mind when it comes to Slade. We finish up the game, and all agree we’re over bowling.
“Now what?” Savannah asks.
“Movie?” Brandon suggests.
“There’s a theater here or one over by the mall.” Savannah looks over at me, and I shrug. “Let’s just stay here, on base.”
The guys choose an action movie, which is fine with me. I don’t really care what we’re doing as long as I’m with Slade. I hate that time is moving so fast. I hate that I’m going to have to go back to sleeping without him. I hate it, but I have to learn to deal with it. After the movie, we eat dinner at a pizza place on base. The food is good, and the restaurant is packed with marines. Several of them come over and talk to the guys. Brandon introduces Savannah as his fiancé, and they both beam with happiness. I can’t help but smile with them. I’ve been there since day one with them and never had a doubt this is where they would end up.
“You ready to head back?” Slade asks.
“Yeah, this is my last night with you.”
“I know, angel.” His voice dips, and I know he’s dreading it as much as I am. “Let’s go.” He stands from the booth and holds his hand out for me. “We’re heading back,” he says, tossing some money on the table for a tip and grabbing our bill.
“Yeah, us too.” Brandon stands from the booth as well.
We pay our bills and take the short five-minute walk back to the hotel. “I don’t know why I’m tired. It’s not like we did anything strenuous today,” I say, kicking off my shoes.
“Bowling wore you out.” He chuckles.
“Oh hush, just wait. I’m going to brush up on my skills, and when we’re together the next time, I’m going to stomp your ass.”
“Promises, promises,” he says, pulling me into his arms. “I’m ready to hold you. This will be my last time for a while.”
“I like this plan.” Standing on tiptoes, I kiss the corner of his mouth and head to the bedroom to get ready for bed. I’m already under the covers when he enters the room. The lamp is on, and I have the covers tucked up to my chin. Mostly from the chill in the air without his body next to mine but also because I’m naked.
“You need anything?” he asks, standing at the edge of the bed.
“Nope. Just the light,” I say.
The room is bathed in darkness. The bed then dips and he climbs in. “Come here, Austyn.”
I waste no time sliding up next to him and resting my head on his chest. His strong arms wrap around me and hold me close. “I’m going to miss this.”
“Me too, but hey, it will give us something to look forward to, right?”
“Right.” He’s quiet for a few minutes. “I know this isn’t fair to you, being in a relationship with a guy who’s gone more than he’s there, but I promise you every chance I have to be with you, I’ll be there.”
“I know that. I also knew you were a marine when we met. I knew that when I fell in love with you. I’m all in, Slade. I don’t want you worrying about me, about us. You need to stay focused.”
“You’re my family, Austyn. Other than the Marines, you’re all I have. How do you expect me not to worry about you?”
“I expect you to know that I’m committed to you and what we have. I expect you to know that I’ll be going through the motions each day, and not a single second of those days will be without you on my mind. I expect you to trust what we have and focus your energy on being the best that you can be. To stay safe.”
“I’m not in danger here,” he tells me.
“Maybe not, but you’re learning the skills that could save you when you are in danger. I need you to stay focused on that.”
“I thank God every day for bringing you into my life.”
“I know, right? You should probably thank him at least twice a day.” I say to lighten the mood.
It works. His deep chuckle shakes his chest, causing my head to bounce up and down. When his laughter calms, he kisses the top of my head. “I love you.” My heart swells every time he tells me. I’ll never be tired of hearing those words cross his lips.
“Love you, too.” The quiet of the night surrounds our confession of love as we drift off to sleep in each other’s arms.
I WAKE UP PISSED OFF. I had to leave Austyn at the hotel alone last night to come back to the barracks. It’s five in the damn morning, and I’m running on maybe two hours of sleep, if that. We have to report for our morning run at five thirty, and all I want to do is run back to the hotel and slide under the covers with my girl. I hate that they have to go to the airport on their own. Fuck, I hate she has to leave at all. This past week with her, even on the days where we just got to meet up for dinner, has proven to me how far gone I am for her. How much I love her.
She told me to text her when I got up to make sure they’re up. Their flight leaves at ten thirty, so they want to make sure they get there on time, even though I doubt there will be a crowd at the airport on a Monday morning. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I text her.
Me: Morning, angel. I missed you last night.
Austyn: I slept like shit.
Me: Me too. I miss you already.
Austyn: Distance makes the heart grow fonder. At least, that’s what they say.
Me: I’m not sure anything can make my heart grow any fonder than it already is.
Austyn: Look at you being all sweet at before the sun comes up.
My girl’s sassy this morning. Just one of the many things I love about her.
Me: Is there any other way to be when I talk to the love of my life?
Austyn: Laying it on thick! I have to get moving. Have a good day. I’ll text you when we get to the airport and when we land.
Me: I might not be able to respond right away, but I will. Be safe, Austyn.
Austyn: My knight
I smile, remembering our exchange the first time I had to leave her. I’m sure she doesn’t expect me to remember.
Me: I’m always with you.
Austyn: Take care of you
Me: See you soon, angel
Me: I love you.
Austyn: I love you, too. See you soon.
Okay, so I changed it up a little, but since the night I told her I loved her, I can’t seem to stop. I don’t ever want her to go a day without feeling it, hearing it, even though I’m states away from her. Needing to get moving, I climb out of bed, grab a hoodie, and lace up my running shoes. Jeffers and Spiller are up, but not out of bed, and Combs is sitting on the edge of his, with his elbows resting on his knees. I don’t say anything. There’s nothing I can say that will make it better. When he finally raises his head, he catches me watching him.
“Didn’t know it would be this hard.”
I nod. I don’t need to say or do anything else. He knows I get where he’s coming from. He knows my story and how I feel about Austyn. Just when we get used to being with them, seeing them every day, we have to get used to the distance yet again. I’m sure it’s a little worse for him, having her for his entire life, with her being his for the last few years to now not being with her. It has to be tough. But this is all Austyn and I have ever known. I’m grateful and pissed at the same time. I want that time with her, but I think it’s a little easier on both of us not having had it before. Kind of like we’re not really sure what we’re missing. We have a good idea from our time together, but saying “see you soon” is our reality.
I go through the motions of the day, and it’s not until we break for lunch that I’m able to check my phone.
Austyn: Made it to the airport.
Austyn: Getting ready to board our flight
Austyn: Just landed. My mom’s here to pick us up.
The last one was sent just a few minutes ago.
Me: Glad you made it home safe.
Austyn: Now to unpack, ugh. Have a great day, knight.
Me: I’ll call you tonight.
Austyn: I have to work, but I’ll keep my phone on me. Savvy and I are both working tonight, so you and B should try to call at different times.
Me: 10–4
Austyn: LOL
I shove my phone back in my pocket and see Combs do the same. “Savannah?” I ask.
“Yeah, they made it home.”
“That’s what Austyn said. They’re both working tonight, so we’ll need to stagger our calls so they can cover each other.”
“I’ll be glad when we’re married and can be with her every day.”
“Deployment.” It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Leaving her, the potential that I might not ever come home to her.
“Yeah, but even then she’ll be my wife. There’s just something about knowing she’s really mine for the rest of our lives. That she’s waiting here for me at home.”
“You think she wouldn’t be otherwise?”
“She would be.” He nods. “I just need it more permanent, if that makes sense. I don’t want to leave knowing she’s not going to have access to my benefits or anything if something happens to me. It’s all going to go to my parents, which is fine. But I want it to be Savannah, you know?”
I nod. I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it because it’s always been just Gran and me, and when I lost her, I lost that feeling… that need to take care of someone. Until I met Austyn. Now my head is swimming. If something were to happen to me, there’s no one. When I signed up, they ask you to list your next of kin. I left mine blank. How pathetic is that? I had no one to list. No one who would notice or even care if I didn’t come home. My situation has changed. Just another way she’s brought me back to life.
“You guys talk about when?”
“Soon. She’s going to wrap up this year at college, and then maybe this summer? That’s what we’re aiming for. She’s going to look into transferring schools.”
My mind races with the possibilities. Would
Austyn do that for me? Could she be here where I can see her every day? It would be a lot to ask of her if we’re not married, and as bad as I hate to admit this even to myself, we’re not there yet. I love her, I do, but marriage is a big step. One I don’t want to rush into. I never imagined myself married, now that I do, it’s with her, but I only want to do it once.
“What about you?”
“Yeah, too soon for that.”
“She could still move down here, transfer schools.”
“That’s a lot to ask of her without something more permanent behind it.”
He shrugs. “Maybe so, but with what we do, there’s no time to delay these kinds of things. We have to make sure that the ones we love know we love them.”
“She knows.”
“Oh, does she?” He laughs. “Didn’t think I’d ever get that out of you.”
His words register, and I realize he was trying to get me to admit my feelings for her. In doing so, he opened up a flurry of emotions, questions, yearnings for the future we could one day have. “You could have just asked me, fucker.” I shake my head, smiling.
“What’s the fun in that? Besides, I already knew. You can tell by the way you two are with each other. I just wasn’t sure if you knew yourself or had admitted it to yourself yet.”
“I told her. She told me. We’re good,” I assure him.
“Living the dream, man. Living the dream.”
The rest of the day drags by. Combs tells me to go ahead and call Austyn first while he calls his mom and wishes her happy birthday. He gets no argument from me. Luckily, Spiller and Jeffers are out, so I take advantage and call my girl. It rings four times before she picks up.
“Hello?” she pants into the phone.
“Hey.”
“Hey, sorry it’s a madhouse in here tonight.”
“You need me to call back?”
“No, it’s fine. How was your day?”
“Long. I slept like shit last night.”
“Me too. After running around here all night, I’m sure I’ll sleep tonight though.”