by Kaylee Ryan
I try not to let that get to me, that she seems fine sleeping without me while I’m over here wishing she was in my arms. I should be glad she’s adjusting so well; that’s important for both of us. I can’t imagine how hard it will be to hear her breakdown when there’s nothing I can do to make it better. I just miss her.
“Yeah, I’m hoping I can, too.”
“Austyn,” I hear a deep voice say. “When did you get back in town?”
“Today,” she says. I can tell she’s turning away from the phone.
“Sorry about that, like I said a madhouse. I think half of my graduating class is here tonight.”
“Oh yeah?”
“They’re all home for break, and this is the go-to place in town apparently. We’re all still underage.” She laughs.
“This is true.”
“Austyn,” I hear a male voice call out to her.
“Just a second,” she tells him. “Sorry, Slade. I need to go. We’re slammed.”
“Yeah, okay. Be safe.”
“Always. Love you,” she says, and the line goes dead. I pull the phone from my ear and look at the screen just to be sure. She’s never raced off the phone like that before. I know she was busy, but those guys calling her name…. I shake off the doubt. I know I can trust her; that’s not it. It’s more the fact that I can’t be there with her. She’s living life, as am I, but we’re in two different worlds. I send up a silent prayer that we can make this work. That the distance won’t come between us.
I set my alarm to be up early so I can send Austyn an e-mail. After last night, I feel unsettled. Grabbing my laptop, I log into my e-mail and to my surprise, there’s one waiting for me from her.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Time: 23:59
Subject: Tonight
I’m sorry I had to cut our call short. It’s been a while since we’ve had a crazy night like that. I think I only sat down maybe once the entire night. My feet are killing me. It’s time for some new tennis shoes. I’m going to see if Savannah wants to go shopping this week.
I didn’t get to hear much about your day. I hope it was a good one. I miss you like crazy.
Love,
Austyn
Just like that the worry, the feeling of being unsettled washes away. I hit Reply immediately.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Time: 04:45
Subject: RE: Tonight
You don’t know how good it is to hear from you. I was unsettled last night, not being able to talk to you. Call me crazy, but you’re an important part of my life. I needed my Austyn fix.
Hopefully, you made some good tips since you were so busy. That would at least make the tired feet worth it. If I were there, I would rub them for you. Make a note, the next time we’re together, I’ll do just that, regardless of how your feet are feeling.
I miss you, too. I’m getting ready to go for our morning run. Do you work again tonight? I can never seem to keep up with your work schedule. I know you have classes today, but other than that, I feel like I’m out of the loop.
Talk soon.
Love,
Slade
I close out of my e-mail and head out for our morning run. I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, just from hearing from her. To know that as soon as she got home she was thinking of me, that alone has me standing a little taller. It’s crazy that she affects me this way. She’s the only one who could.
As soon as I get in from my run, I rush to my laptop to see if she’s replied. Not that I expect her to this early. I hit refresh twice, just to make sure. Nothing. Wishful thinking on my part. I know she’s sleeping, especially after the crazy shift she had last night. I then rush to the shower so I’m not late.
I WAKE TO THE SOUNDS of Dawson’s feet rushing down the stairs. Peeling open my eyes, I see that it’s still dark outside. Grabbing my phone, I pull up my last message with Slade and type out a new one.
Me: Merry Christmas.
His reply comes immediately.
Slade: Merry Christmas, angel.
Me: Daws is up and raring to go.
Slade: LOL. You better get moving.
Me: What makes you think I’m not already up and moving.
Slade: I know my girl. Now go. Enjoy this time with your family.
Me: I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you today.
Slade: The guys and I are hanging out. It’s all good. This is what we signed up for. Now go. Enjoy. I’ll call you later.
Me: Love you!
Slade: Love you, too.
With my phone still clutched in my hand, I climb out of bed and head across the hall to the bathroom. I set it on the counter, take care of business, then brush my teeth. I then head downstairs.
“Morning, sweetheart,” Dad greets me.
I stop by the recliner and kiss his cheek. “Morning,” I say, doing the same to Mom and Dawson.
“You talked to him today?” Mom asks, nodding toward my phone in my hand.
They’re used to it at this point. I never know when he is going to call or e-mail or text, so I pack it with me at all times. “Yeah, he and the guys are hanging out today.”
“That has to be hard being away from their loved ones,” Mom says.
“Except for Slade. I’m all he has.”
“You knew that this was going to be hard going into this, Austyn,” she reminds me.
“I know. That doesn’t mean I can’t be a little sad to know he’s all alone. I mean, the other guys are probably getting packages and calls from their loved ones, and he just has me.”
“He has us,” Dawson chimes in. “We sent him a package. You put my pictures in there, right, Aust?” he asks me.
“Yes, and I’m sure he’s going to love it. Unfortunately, it’s not there yet. The postal service is really crazy this time of year. I tried to time it just right so he would have gotten it yesterday but no dice.”
“I’m sure he understands. Now, presents.” Dad redirects the conversation.
Dawson jumps from his spot on the floor right next to the tree and starts passing out packages. One by one we take turns, the four of us opening presents. It’s something we’ve always done. Mom likes to be able to see everyone’s reactions when we open our gifts. An hour later, we’re sitting in a pile of wrapping paper and boxes. Dad and Dawson are on the floor playing with a new Lego set while Mom and I are sitting on the couch, just watching them.
“Honey, we forgot one. Can you grab that card off the tree?” Mom says to Dad. He smiles over at us, hops to his feet and grabs the card off the tree. “Austyn, we have one more present for you. But first, I need to record this.” Mom picks up her phone from the end table. I watch as she hits a few buttons and then smiles. “Okay, Aust, open it.”
Carefully, knowing that they’re all watching me and Mom is recording, I slide my finger under the lip of the envelope and pull out the card. I read the handwritten note and then read it again, tears welling up in my eyes. I look over at my mom. “Is this real?” I ask her.
“It’s real.” She grins, shaking her head.
“Dad?” I ask, turning to look at him. Surely this must be a joke.
“It’s real, Austyn. We fly out this afternoon.”
“Flying?” Dawson asks.
“Where are we going?” He looks at me for answers since I’m holding the card in my hands.
“To see Slade,” I tell him.
“Say that again?” I hear his deep voice rumble from Mom’s phone.
“Was that?” I point to her phone, my mouth hanging open.
“It was.” She grins and turns her phone to face me, tapping the screen to switch the camera. “Merry Christmas, Slade. Are you ready for all four of the Wilson crew to be knocking on your door?”
“You’re coming here, really? All of you?” Shock laces his voice.
“We are. We hated the thought of you
being alone on Christmas, and it’s been a while since we’ve seen you.”
“Where are you staying?”
“On base. Brandon helped us set it all up, well, he and Savannah.”
“She didn’t tell me,” I say, still in shock.
“Of course she didn’t. That would have spoiled the surprise. She and Brandon have been helping us while she’s there visiting.”
“You’re coming here?” Slade asks for confirmation.
Dad laughs. “Yes, Brandon and Savannah have our flight information.”
“Austyn?” Slade says. I reach for Mom’s phone and look at him through my teary eyes. “I’ll see you soon, angel.” I nod, unable to speak from the excitement and the shock of it all.
Mom takes her phone back, says goodbye and ends the call. “Our flight leaves in a few hours. You need to get packed. We’re only there for two days before we fly home.”
“I don’t understand. I wanted to go with Savannah and y’all wanted me to stay here.”
“We know how badly you wanted to go. We also know that you really like this guy and we’ve only met him a handful of times. We need to get to know him better. We decided to tell you no and surprise you instead. Although, I was afraid you’d tell us that you didn’t need our permission and would go anyway. That’s why we laid on the ‘we didn’t have you for Thanksgiving’ guilt.” Dad chuckles.
“Thank you.” I lunge at Mom and hug her. Dad and Dawson are both cleaning up the wrapping paper. I walk toward both of them, pulling them both into a hug. “Thank you so much. Thank you.” I kiss Dawson on the cheek and rush upstairs to pack.
I’m throwing items in my suitcase when my phone rings. Rushing to pick it up, I see Slade’s name on the screen. “Hey,” I answer, my voice breathy with emotion.
“I can’t believe I get to see you in a few hours.”
“I’m packing right now.” I’m pretty sure my heart’s liable to pop at any moment.
“I won’t keep you, but I wanted to tell you I love you.” His voice is so earnest I have to hold my breath to stop myself from crying. “Have a safe flight, and I can’t wait to see you.”
“Love you, too.” We end the call, and squeal in excitement, then quickly finish packing. We’re only there for two days so I don’t need much. Grabbing clothes, I rush across the hall to shower and get ready. No way am I taking a chance of missing this flight.
AFTER HANGING UP WITH AUSTYN, I received a text message from Combs with Austyn’s and her families flight information. I debated for all of about ten seconds on whether or not I was going to meet them at the airport. That brings me to now, standing outside their gate waiting. I’ve been here for over an hour. It’s way too early, but staying in the barracks watching the clock was doing nothing. At least I would be here if their flight was early, which it isn’t.
I’d been shocked to get a text from her mom this morning. Opening my phone, I read her message.
Michelle: Merry Christmas, Slade. I’m going to call you later. It will be a video call. If you could answer, but not speak, that would be great. We have a surprise for Austyn and want you to be a part of it.
Of course, I replied that I’d do just that. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the surprise would be for both of us. That they’d be coming here to see me.
The crackle of the loudspeaker booms overhead as they announce that her flight just landed. I stand tall, keeping my eyes peeled for her, for them. My palms are sweaty, so I wipe them on my pants. I don’t know what to do with my hands, so I shove them deep in my pockets. My eyes don’t wander from the gate.
Watching.
Waiting.
When I see her, I don’t run to her like I thought I would. Instead, I stand and watch her with her family. The smiles, the laughter, I envy what they have. When she sees me, she grins, and my chest expands. This is my girl. I’m ready to run to her, but Dawson spots me and takes off at a run. I crouch down to catch him as he wraps his arms around me in a hug.
“Slade! I can’t believe we’re here,” he exclaims.
“Me neither, Daws. Merry Christmas,” I say, releasing him and standing to my full height. Austyn is there, grinning at us. “Hey, angel.” I hold out my hand for her, and she takes it. I pull my hand back, guiding her into my arms. She wraps her arms around my waist, and I kiss her temple. I want to devour her, press my lips to hers and never stop, but I’m trying to respect the fact that her parents are here. They made this possible. I don’t want to start this trip off with me pissing them off for mauling their daughter.
“Mr. and Mrs. Wilson,” I say when her parents reach us. “Thank you so much for this. I can’t tell you what it means to me.”
“Merry Christmas, Slade,” Michelle says, leaning in to give me a hug.
“Slade.” Lee holds his hand out to me, and I take it.
“Thank you both so much.” I place another kiss on Austyn’s temple. I can’t seem to help myself. Luckily her parents just smile at us. “Luggage?” I ask them.
“Just our carry-ons. We packed light,” Michelle explains.
“I brought my new Legos. You want to build them with me?” Dawson asks excitedly.
“Sure, bud. We’ll definitely make that happen.”
“Yay!” he cheers, throwing his fist in the air.
“We better go get our rental car so we can head out,” Lee says.
“We’ll have to stop at the visitors’ center and get you a pass before you can take it on base, but that’s not an issue,” I tell him.
In the rental car, Dawson wants to sit next to me. My legs are too long for me to sit in the middle of the back seat so Austyn bargains with him. Something about taking him for ice cream when they get home. That’s all it took for him to concede. I hold her hand in the backseat of the car, not willing to let go of her. Her mom looks back at us and smiles. I don’t even try to release her hand. I physically can’t. I get her for two days, and during that time, I have to share her with them. No way can I concede on holding her hand too.
At the visitors’ center, I have to complete sponsor paperwork to get them a pass for the rental car, and for them. Once we have that all squared away, I direct them to the hotel on base where they’ll be staying. It’s the same one Austyn and I stayed at when she was here around Thanksgiving. Lee and I carry the bags up to the room. It’s nice, with two queen beds, but it’s not the suite we stayed in.
“So what’s there to do around here?” Michelle asks.
“Not a whole lot. We have a movie theater and a bowling alley. There’s a mall not too far from here as well. There are some pretty cool monuments about ten minutes or so down the road. Oh, and we have a beam from the World Trade Center.”
“Really? That’s so cool. We learned about that,” Dawson says. “Lots of people were hurt from those bad men,” he says solemnly.
“You’re learning about that in school already?” I ask him.
“His teacher is a retired National Guard,” Lee says.
I nod. It would be hard not to discuss what you’ve experienced in that situation for sure.
“I’m hungry,” Dawson says, falling backward onto one of the beds.
“There’s not much open with it being Christmas Day. There’s a pizza place here on base that stays open all year round,” I offer.
“Pizza’s my favorite.”
“Pizza it is.”
“It’s just down the block. We can walk if you want.”
“A walk sounds nice,” Michelle says.
“Yeah, it’s warmer here than at home,” Dawson chimes in.
“You said it was in the low teens right, babe?” I ask Austyn.
“Yep. We also got about an inch of snow last night.”
“That’s not enough. I need more than that to build a good snowman, right, Dad?” Dawson asks Lee.
“Right.” He chuckles. “Lead the way, Slade.”
Hand in hand with Austyn, I lead them out of the room and onto the elevator. Dawson rambles on about h
ow he likes to push the buttons and that he feels like he’s in a spaceship. Outside on the sidewalk, his hand slips into mine. I look down to find him smiling up at me. “Will you sit by me?” he asks.
“Hey,” Austyn leans forward and mock scolds him. “He’s with me.”
“Slade’s my friend too, right, Slade?”
“Sure am, buddy.” I’m not just kissing his ass or sucking up in front of her parents. Dawson’s a cool kid. I always wanted a sibling. He’s the closest thing I’m going to get and maybe one day, he’ll be my brother for real. At least in the eyes of the law. I can only hope that Austyn and I make it that far.
At the pizza place, we’re able to find a table for six, which puts me in between Austyn and Dawson as we sit across from their parents.
“Slade, are your mom and dad here?” Dawson asks.
I swallow my pizza and take a drink of my tea before answering. “No, bud.” I keep my answer simple. I don’t want to darken the light in his life.
“Oh, okay. What did they get you for Christmas? I know Santa doesn’t come anymore once you’re big like you and Austyn.”
My stomach drops. I don’t want to lie to him, but I don’t want to tell him the truth either. “You’re my present, bud,” I say, ruffling his hair. “All of you are. This is the best gift that anyone’s ever given me.”
“Really? But we’re only here for how many days, Dad?” he asks.
“Two, Daws.”
“Two days,” he tells me, as if I didn’t hear his dad’s answer.
“I know, but to me, that’s better than any gift I could have received. Spending time with those you care about.”
He nods like he gets it and goes back to eating his dinner.
Dawson tells me about all his presents and reminds me that I promised to build Legos with him. Michelle and Lee smile indulgently at their son as he rambles on. I try to pay for dinner, but Lee waves me off.
All the way back to the hotel, I hold onto Austyn’s hand like it’s my lifeline. I don’t want to say goodnight, but I’m sure they’re tired from getting up so early and the flight. I want more than anything to curl up beside her and hold her in my arms. If I thought I could sneak her in, I’d take her back to the barracks with me. Then again, not a good idea, not with Spiller and Jeffers there. Combs is here in the hotel somewhere with Savannah. I bite back my jealousy and remind myself to be thankful that she’s even here. That they all are.