Torn Series: A Bundle Set 1 - 10
Page 54
Taylor really was in truth, my dark angel. He referenced himself as such in the very beginning.
My heart poured with such endless emotions that I simply couldn’t hold back any longer. While tears flowed freely down my face, I started to type him a text message.
I came by today with a lot to say, but the moment I saw you, I was at a loss for words. How do I start to form the words I needed to tell you then, but couldn’t? I know I have to start somewhere, so, here I am, starting this while fighting the urge to delete this stupid message to begin with. Ever since that night you walked away from me in the alcove, you haven’t left my thoughts, Taylor.
I despised you in the beginning. You were arrogant and in my face about everything. Most of all, I hated how you had seen me at my lowest. You saved my life, yet I hated your guts more than ever. We clashed, we fought and argued whenever we could. One thing stood out, though, our attraction to each other was just as strong. The only defense I had was for us to keeping fighting and bickering, but when you stopped that, and started kissing me instead, all of the fight left me. You made me want you. You adamantly broke through my barriers and got through to me.
You’ll always be that special person I will think about when I’m old and gray. You taught me so much and, for that, I will always be grateful.
Our time will forever be with me. Its mark will never be forgotten. I hope you find your happiness as you have wished for me to find mine.
Greece will always and forever be yours…
Sent.
Goodbyes were the hardest ones. I was tired of giving them. I made a pact with myself that when I came out of this hotel suite, I would go home and look forward to starting my life again.
This past year may have contained the worst kind of struggles, torments and sins, but I was ready to pick myself up, dust myself off and reboot.
This time, I was hell-bent to do it right.
Chapter 29
Trista
I woke up today with a restlessness that I couldn’t shake off. So, at six-thirty in the morning, I headed home and dressed myself to jog it out on the beach.
I needed to wear myself out since sleep was rather absent as of late. Though the happiness I had sought with Taylor was now nonexistent, I was comforted by the thought that I had my whole life ahead of me. The sick, depressing feeling had subsided as glimmers of sunshine were now breaking through my tinted life.
Half a mile in, I stopped jogging and stood close to the shore. At the far end of the ocean was the first break of sunrise. I stood there watching, too late to realize that I had tears streaming down my face until a man stood next to me and handed me his white handkerchief. I murmured my thanks as I wiped my eyes dry.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it? Sometimes beauty can be very deceiving. One day it’s calm and quiet. The next, it’s brutal.” I glanced at the kind man with crow’s feet around his warm eyes. “Whatever kind of demons you’re dealing with, don’t fret my dear child. Even Jesus forgave those who betrayed him, those who killed masses of people, those who had sinned more than you have. Guilt is a vile thing, but let it serve as a lesson never to be repeated because, when guilt comes back the second time, it’s very unforgiving.”
Shaking my head, I turned to the man, who I now noticed had a beaded rosary around his neck. “How did you—”
The man of God gave me a reassuring smile. “I see people like you on a day to day basis. Go on child, live with love and everything will be okay.” He gave me another smile before he started to walk away from me.
That was seriously the greatest and, might I add, the oddest conversation I have ever had in my life. God worked in mysterious way it seemed. Even if I had abandoned him, the good ole man still looked out for me.
Yes, I was beyond comforted.
Sunrises, I wanted more of them. Today was a brand new day. My rebirth, my second chance, and I was done wasting any more time dwelling on the past.
“You promise to meet up with us? This is not some stupid excuse to make us go away?” Amber arched her brow at me, suspicious.
I groaned at her stubbornness. “I promise, okay? Carter’s house is a block away, seriously.” Carter and the guys were throwing an end of the summer party that would continue until Sunday night. “I’m going to shower. Give me an hour to get ready. Bye.” I strode out of the kitchen and went into my bedroom.
I heard our doorbell chime just before I jumped in the shower. “I’m leaving now!” Amber yelled at the top of her lungs.
Living with Lindsey and Amber was actually not so bad. We would occasionally bicker, but that was a given. I was excited to start school on Monday, but, most of all, excited to see Emma again tomorrow. Ever since we had left London, our contact with her had been scarce. She said she was busy with the movie wrapping up, but I knew it was pure bullshit. Emma was dodging something important. My only guess was Carter was causing rift between them. To what extent, I had no clue.
My heart ached for Taylor. Each day, I felt the agony of it. The only thing that kept me afloat was remembering how much he had persisted that I had to start learning how to fight through the darkness. “Fighting is progressive. Fighting is reason.” He had once said to me. So, here I was, learning to fight, for my life and for my future.
Once I was out of the shower, lathered with body butter and with towel dried hair, I grabbed my periwinkle-colored silk robe, loosely wrapping it around me. I strode out of the bathroom and headed straight to my walk-in closet. I halted when my phone chirped with a text message.
Lindsey: Going to Carter’s now. See you in a bit.
Smiling, I responded.
Me: You betcha!
Right after I sent the message, something caught my eye.
I jumped out of my skin and no words came out.
“I got your message,” Taylor said, matter-of-factly. He stood there, against my bedroom door with his hands slotted into his black jeans.
Starved, that’s what I was. My body reacted to him immediately. My God, how I have missed you. Wetting my lips, I nervously tried to speak. “I sent that… a week ago.”
Why wasn’t he moving away from the door? Did he just want to confront me about the message and then leave?
“It took me the same amount of time to think about it.”
“Oh, right. Um, let’s go outside, we can talk there.” I closed the gap between us, but when I tried to open the door, he was immovable. His eyes zeroed in on me. “Taylor?” My breath caught in my throat when our eyes clashed. He was so close and I was having a hard time telling myself that he’s with someone.
“So, you’ve missed me?” He questioned, his eyes probing for more than just my answer.
Shit, I hope I didn’t cause him any trouble with Meg. Okay, maybe I wished a tiny bit of trouble for her. “I’m sorry about the message. I didn’t mean for it to—”
I found myself up against the wall before I even got to finish my sentence. “If you didn’t mean it, then why write it to begin with?” His hand cupped my chin, his body close to mine as he hissed at me infuriatedly.
Taylor was here…he really was here.
My body was convulsing at the mere touch of his skin I hyperventilated when the very smell of him hit me, hard. My sense of smell was at its peak and I was endlessly hypnotized. I was out of breath, heady, and a few heartbeats away from fainting. “I meant every word.”
Taylor hesitantly placed the side of his head next to mine, inhaling my scent before he whispered against my ear. “What happened to Harry?” There was a catch in his voice that spoke volumes.
How did he expect me to respond when his hot breath was on my ear? It was impossible to form words and think coherently. I let out a soft moan when his lip grazed my earlobe. Brain, please, think. “I realized too late that you were the one I wanted to be with.”
When the tip of his tongue darted out and licked my lobe, I shivered from the burning heat. “Oh, fuck!” I yelped at the sudden erotic contact.
“I’ve
missed you every single day you weren’t with me. Missed you every hour you weren’t in my arms; every minute I couldn’t hear your voice and every second that I could not touch you.” He breathed into me, his voice throaty, potent with emotion.
When his lips sucked on my neck, I whimpered. “Please…”
Taylor pulled away and gazed down on me. His eyes poured over all of me as mine begged him. “If you choose to be with me, I demand to have your honesty, your utmost and unwavering loyalty, solid trust and hopefully, your love. I hope to hear those words from you in the foreseeable future. If you can’t give me all of these things, then we can’t be together, Trista.”
Was he really going to give us a shot? After what I did? Tears filled my vision as I looked at him. “I don’t deserve this chance with you, Taylor.”
His thumbs wiped my tears of joy away. “Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. I was determined to move on and try to forget you. I couldn’t believe that after all those days and nights, when we were inseparable, that you could so easily choose him without thought. I had just gotten back together with Meg two days before you showed up. When you left my house, I was confused, but I tried to push it away from my thoughts. All of my efforts were for naught the second I opened the message, I knew I had to end things with Megan then. For seven days, I was going back and forth rereading that text whenever I could.” His lips brushed the side of my lip. “You’ve caught me.”
I inched my face to meet his lips. Just like that, we ignited each other into flames of passion. The kiss was demanding, painful, passionate and mind-numbingly beautiful. There were not enough words to describe the celestial bliss this lovely, amazing and uniquely divine creature brought out in me.
Taylor’s hands hastily untied my robe and hungrily sought out my breast. “Trista,” he groaned against my lips while my hands fumbled with his jeans. “Promise me that you’re only mine this time.”
I nodded, understanding the difficulty of his question since I was body and soul Harry’s when we first started off. I knew I would have no problem, from here on out, thinking only of him. Taylor had me. I was his and he was mine. “I promise you, this time I’m only ever yours.”
I barely pushed away his underwear before my hands desperately sought his manhood. My hand rejoiced at the hot silken feel of him. Taylor pushed me hard against the wall, making his thick cock hit against my stomach. His finger probed into me “Spread your legs a little wider. I want to taste you.”
Hell to the no! “Later. Take me hard on the wall.” I speedily said before I found my body pushed and lifted up as his cock slid perfectly inside me, his hard hot length demanding more. My body welcomed him. Each stroke brought out a cathartic euphoria. My nails dug into his back, deeply grazing it as I possessively ran my hands down to his ass.
We were both savages, like cats in heat and no amount of heavenly stroking from his cock would be enough for either of us. “Hang onto me. I want to carry you to bed.” Taylor’s hands held my ass cheeks as my arms wrapped around his neck.
He slowly lowered me down while his eyes worshipped me. The animalistic hunger we had just shared a second ago was now subdued to something else entirely. It was something absolute, complex, and, without a doubt, enigmatic as well as profoundly inescapable. Taylor’s kiss sealed our fate. Just like destiny, it was simply and hopelessly unavoidable.
Epilogue
Three months later
Griffith Park Observatory, Los Angeles
Taylor
“I thought you said this place closed at ten at night? Looks pretty deserted to me for six pm.” Trista observed as her eyes scanned the empty parking lot.
“Need you comment on everything woman?” I threw her an amused smile before gathering her close as we headed to our destination.
I guided her towards the stairs that led to the second floor of the observatory. She looked more than beautiful tonight and I couldn’t be happier to have her in my life. She truly was a breath of fresh air. She was still feisty and was still unbearably crazy most times, but I adored her all the same. The hellcat challenged me in all ways imaginable. Even our sex life was dominated by her demands, though that part I was more than ready to oblige. If she thought I was insatiable then she was maniacally ravenous at any time of the day. We fought at times, but we agreed to not let the problems fester. We had to talk even if we were more than ready to just scratch each other’s eyes out. Compromise. We learned it the hard way, but it was worth it. We were still learning as we went on. The best part about it was that we were both willing to do it together—for us to grow as a couple, as a whole.
“Oh, holy shit!” Trista exclaimed as she took in the setting before her. Candles were set up on the floor along with rose petals scattered throughout the room, which looked out over the city of Los Angeles. The cellist and the few violinists started to play atop the second-floor landing, Lost by Michael Bublé.
“What’s going on?” She shakily whispered, tears forming in her eyes.
Seeing my vixen touched at my gesture, I was more than assured about our future together. “Happy three month anniversary, Trista.”
“You do this after three months?”
“For you, yes.” I gathered her in my arms as my eyes scanned her pretty face. “These past few months with you have been amazing. You’ve driven me mad with worry, blasted me with rejection after rejection in the very beginning, but here I am, in love with you more than I have ever loved anyone. You can always count on me to be there with you; to sit with you when you need someone close, to help you stand when you can barely make it. I’m here for you, to guide you, help you, protect you, but—most of all—to share laughter and tears with you. I love you. I knew I did the moment you left me in Greece, and I’m letting you know now, how much you truly mean to me. I’ll never leave your side. For as long as you’ll have me, I will always be here.”
“God, why do you always do things that make me cry beautiful tears?” She desperately kissed me before burning into my eyes. “I love you,” she whispered shaking her head. “I owe you so much, but you never ask for anything back. How could I not fall in love with you? Everyday, I’m thankful for you. You were that light at the end of my dark tunnel, Taylor. I love you so fucking much.”
“You have no idea how happy you’ve made me tonight. Hearing those words from you, after all this time, made everything worth it.”
“Sir? Your dinner is ready.” A man in uniformed attire interrupted us.
“Dinner, my beautiful siren, awaits. I have a long agenda ahead of us tonight. You need all the sustenance you can consume.”
She went up on tiptoes and kissed me again. “I don’t see any problems with that Boss.”
We still had a long way ahead of us, but love did have a way of healing the wounded. The broken ones are the bravest. The ones who love with pure unadulterated abandonment; I had found, through Trista, that these ones gave the best kind of love.
The Torn Series:
Scornfully Yours (Emma) OUT NOW!
Blasphemous (Emma): May 31
Scorned (Lindsey): TBA
Fixated on You (Emma): TBA
Crushed (Amber): TBA
Much love,
Pamela Ann xo
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OTHER BOOKS BY PAMELA ANN:
The Chasing Series: Beautiful (Out Now), Imperfection (Out Now) & Paradise (April 30)
Lily’s Mistake
Blasphemous
(TORN SERIES)
Pamela Ann
Blasphemous
Pamela Ann
Copyright © 2013, By Pamela Ann
All Rights Reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
This book is licensed
for your personal enjoyment only. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Interior book design by
Bob Houston eBook Formatting
Acknowledgments
To my beta readers, Cami Hesnault, Tia Marie, Beck Sewell and Melissa Gill, thank you for all the constructive feedbacks and suggestions. I deeply appreciate all you ladies for being a great supporter of my work.
To my editors, Kristin and Alizon, thank you! Thank you!
To my family, it goes without saying…
Love you all.
Playlist
Songs I listened to whilst writing the novel:
One Republic Secrets
Bruno Mars It Will Rain
Adele Lovesong
Goo Goo Dolls Name
Lifehouse Broken
Incubus I Miss You
Howie Day Collide
Timbaland/One Republic Apologize
Maroon 5 Daylight