J'adore New York: A Novel of Haute Couture and the Corner Office

by Isabelle Laflèche

  “Good morning, Bonnie, how are you today?”

  Startled, she looks up and lifts her reading glasses. She stares approvingly at my outfit.

  “Hello, Catherine. I’m fine. How are you?”

  “Just fabulous.”

  I’m not going to let some swindling conman throw me off my game or destroy my self-confidence and career. I walk back to my office, settle into my chair, and call Rikash.

  “Shut the door. How are you feeling?”

  “Terrible. I haven’t slept in almost a week.”

  “That makes two of us. I’ve got some good news for a change. Your brother has just been hired by Browser as a software developer.”

  “What? But he hasn’t even started school yet.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I want you to phone him immediately and tell him that someone from Swiss Bank here in New York is waiting for his call. He needs to open an account as soon as possible. Can you take care of that for me?”

  “Open an account at Swiss Bank. But why?”

  “Don’t ask any questions, just do it.”

  “I hope you’re not engaging in anything risky for my sake. I don’t want to jeopardize my good karma; god knows it’s been damaged over the years and I’ve been desperately trying to get it back on track.”

  “Don’t worry, your karma is totally safe. Just call your brother and tell him to call Sandy Mercer at Swiss Bank. His number is in our client directory.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll do it. You’re looking very confident in a badass kind of way today.” He arches his eyebrows quizzically.

  “Yes, confident that things will be put right. The account needs to be opened by noon tomorrow, so tell your brother to phone right away. We’ll also need to fax him some documentation, so tell him to find a fax machine.”

  I take a large swig of coffee before I pick up the phone to call the Swiss Bank account manager.

  “Hey, Sandy, ready for the big day tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, man, it’ll be crazy. This IPO is real hot.”

  “Listen, I have a new name to add to the list of participants in the international directed share program. Jeff Richardson asked me to add a software developer from India.”

  “Another one of those Indian whiz kids, huh?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Okay, what’s his name?”

  “Nitesh Chandra.”

  “Got it. Do you have an account number here at the bank for me?”

  “No. Not yet. He’ll be calling you later today to handle that; he’s to receive four hundred shares.”

  “Those guys are really raking it in, aren’t they?”

  “They sure are. Oh, and Sandy, before I forget, did you get the request I forwarded from Jeffrey Richardson?”

  “Yup, got it right here. Eight thousand shares to an account held by one of the secretarial staffers. She must be some secretary…”

  “I’m afraid the account information is incorrect—the company has requested that those shares be equally allocated among all of the Browser support staff instead.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, they’re being very generous. You’re not questioning my authority now, are you?”

  “No, ma’am, of course not. You’re the boss.”

  “Sandy, you’re my main man on this deal, so don’t let me down.”

  “Have I ever let you down?”

  “Never.”

  “Good. Please remind your client of that. I’m looking forward to getting a nice bonus this year.”

  “Don’t worry; I’ll definitely let him know.”

  On the morning of the Browser IPO, I sit in our boardroom waiting for the financial news to appear on television. A female news anchor comes on shortly after the NASDAQ opening to report that the shares have skyrocketed to $105 from the opening price of $23 per share. Given the number of shares Jeffrey owns, he’s now worth more than $100 million on paper.

  I call Rikash in. “Tell your brother to sell his shares. He’ll be making a nice little profit.”

  “Thank you so much for doing this. You have no idea how much this will help us out. Will this get you into any trouble?”

  “No.”

  “What about Jeffrey. Will he find out?”

  “Doesn’t matter. Right now he’s probably too busy drooling over the huge pile of cash he just made.”

  “You’re my Lakshmi, goddess of good fortune.”

  As Rikash gives me a hug and rushes out, I see Maria standing outside the door, eavesdropping.

  Great. Blabbermouth will definitely love this one. Knowing it would come in handy one day, I had made copies of Maria and Roxanne’s incriminating boardroom conversation.

  I wait until she’s gone for lunch and then leave the miniature cassette on her desk with a note:

  Dear Maria,

  Let’s not get nasty, shall we? We would both have a lot to lose.

  Catherine

  I walk past her desk later that morning and she nods humbly to acknowledge our implicit pact.

  “Congratulations, Catherine. I heard the Browser IPO went very smoothly. Too bad you couldn’t participate in the offering; I heard that the stock went above a hundred dollars this morning,” Scott comments as we both make our way to the elevators to grab lunch.

  “I’m just glad it’s over so I can dig into new challenges.”

  He stares at me with a look of surprise. “Are you heading out to the Hamptons this weekend?”

  “No. I’m heading to another beach for three days. I’ve decided to take Friday off. I hope you won’t mind.”

  “Of course not. Going anywhere exciting?”

  “Yes, Anguilla.”

  Chapter 36

  “Guess who called while you were baking your tushy in the tropics?”

  “Hmm, let me guess, Mr. Hyde?”

  “How d’you know?”

  “Lucky guess.”

  I knew Jeffrey would try to reach me in a fit of rage after he found out that the Browser shares were transferred to a group of secretaries. I had received several nasty emails during the weekend that I desperately tried to ignore. After I read the last one, I wrote a precise script for Rikash to follow when Jeffrey called for me at the office. I press for details.

  “What did he say?”

  “He screamed that it was an emergency and he needed to talk to you. When I told him you were unreachable, he threatened to call Scott and tell him you committed malpractice.”

  “How did you respond?”

  “Exactly how you said I should. I told him that you had taped your last phone conversation about the share transfer and that you would notify the SEC immediately if he did anything to harm your career. He told me to fuck off and then hung up.”

  I’m convinced that if he found out, Scott would take my side and turn Jeffrey in to the regulatory authorities, but I’m relieved that I don’t have to spill the private details of our relationship. It’s bad enough that Jeffrey’s illegal request has caused me to put into question my professional judgment. I don’t need to go through the painful exercise of exposing the personal side of this dreadful incident.

  “Thanks for taking that nasty call, Rikash. You’re a star.”

  Although I’m playing it cool, my heart sinks. It’s disheartening to think that my relationship with Jeffrey went from pure bliss to vile threats so rapidly. I want to fly back to Anguilla and bury my head in the sand.

  “The pleasure was all mine, believe me. I can’t stand his guts. So how was the jaunt to the Caribbean? Any fun?”

  “Fun isn’t exactly the right word, but it was relaxing. I slept for more than twenty-four hours straight and in between sobbing sessions I got a massage, a seaweed wrap, and a facial. Let’s just say that now I feel closer to being alive than dead.”

  “It’s the beginning of the healing process. It means you’re on track. It’s all good from now on.”

  “How about you? How’s your healing coming along?”

  “Very nicely.” He bat
s his long eyelashes. “I’m doing it the sexual way.”

  “Ms. Lambert, we’re waiting for you in conference room 22J,” a squeaky voice resonates from my speakerphone. The firm’s recruiting coordinator, Joan Biltmore, is a petite woman with a steely determination and the demeanour of an army general. She had asked that I help interview law students for the firm’s summer associate program—and now I’m regretting that I agreed. I’m in no mood to convince anybody to join the rat race in this loony bin.

  At a pre-interview meeting for senior associates and junior partners, Joan provided us with the firm’s guidelines for the interview process. “We’re looking for a diversity of personalities who will contribute to the firm’s continued success. Individuals with different cultural backgrounds and strong convictions who share our core values.”

  It was kind of unbelievable. Individuals with different cultural backgrounds? There are no more than 10 African-American lawyers in the New York office out of 420; perhaps she was referring to employment opportunities in the mailroom or the kitchen?

  I arrive in the conference room as Joan is discussing the merits of selling one’s soul to the firm. “We take a unique approach to forming our associates. Everyone gets lots of hands-on experience, all our attorneys are level-headed individuals who lead well-rounded lives, and the firm doesn’t put a strong focus on billable hours, but rather on the quality of the work environment.”

  Pfff! N’importe quoi!

  “Hello, Catherine, I was just explaining to Jonathan what makes Edwards and White such a special place to work.”

  “Ah, perfect timing.” I flash my most winsome smile to make Jonathan feel all warm and tingly.

  “Catherine is a senior associate in the corporate group. She also speaks French and worked in our Paris office before joining us. I’ll give the two of you a moment to chat in private.”

  “Corporate? That’s what I’d like to specialize in one day,” he gushes.

  Given the state of my nerves, I’m dying to tell him to just forget about it and run for his life while there’s still time, but I bite my tongue.

  “Great! Please tell me about yourself,” I ask, feigning undivided attention while ruminating about the three hundred unopened email and phone messages that piled up while I was away for the weekend.

  He goes on about his academic achievements until my eyes glaze over. I want to scream, Gimme a break and get over yourself, honey, you haven’t even graduated yet! Being an editor at the Yale Law Review only qualifies you to return Bonnie’s dry cleaning. But now that I think of it, I’m sure he’ll fit right into this narcissistic paradise.

  “So, Jonathan, why a big law firm?”

  “For the challenging work and excellent training opportunities.”

  “Do you have any extracurricular activities? Favourite sports?” I ask, trying to avoid plaguing him with substantive legal questions.

  “I enjoy activities and sports that have a strong team-building component. I guess that’s because I’m such a team player. I also enjoy activities that focus on endurance, strength of character, and loyalty.”

  “Is there anything else that interests you?”

  “I do enjoy French wine and French women.”

  “Is that right? You have fine taste, Jonathan.” His response reminds me of the crap Jeffrey fed me to pull the wool over my eyes, and I want to jump across the boardroom table and go straight for his jugular.

  “But flattery can backfire sometimes, you better be careful. I’m afraid that it takes more than that to get a job here.”

  “I like to think of it as a career-advancing move.”

  “Well then, I wish you the best of luck in the advancement of your career because you’re definitely going to need it.”

  I excuse myself—Jonathan is a total bullshit artiste and I’m convinced that the firm will make him an offer despite what I have to say about the matter. I signal for Joan to go back in to finish this façade of an interview, make my way back to my office, shut the door, and, for the first time ever at work, start to fully weep.

  I feel so empty. When will this feeling go away?

  Chapter 37

  “So Jeffrey finally stopped trying to reach me.”

  “It took him long enough, didn’t it?” Lisa comments after taking a final bite from her spicy chicken at Tartine in the West Village. “How did you manage that?”

  “I sent him an email that must’ve got to him; I told him that he was lucky that I hadn’t turned him in after he asked me to be accomplice in his grand scheme and told him that I hadn’t made a final decision as to whether I would notify the SEC.”

  “Will you? If you do notify the SEC, the information will become public and everyone at the firm will know about it straight away.”

  “I know, but the last thing the corporate world needs is another thief running a public company. I’ve prepared a letter addressed to the SEC’s director of regulatory investigations outlining the facts, sealed it, and put it ‘in escrow’ in my desk drawer until I feel ready to mail it.”

  It feels awful to say it out loud. I still have major trouble coming to terms with the fact that I fell into the arms of a fraudster.

  “You’re absolutely right, Catherine. I’m so proud of you.”

  The waitress arrives at our table with two slices of pie. “The two gentlemen sitting by the window are offering you dessert. How lucky are you ladies?”

  Lisa waves at them in thanks.

  “How sweet. Maybe we can ask them to join us?” she asks keenly.

  “Sorry, Lisa, but I’m not really in the mood. In actual fact, there’s almost nothing I’d like less.”

  “I understand. I’m glad you’re going to that firm retreat in California. It will do you some good to get out of town. And who knows, there might be some cute boys at your hotel for you to hook up with?”

  I laugh—Lisa knows I’ve never understood the expression hooking up. It sounds so unromantic to me, probably because the first time she said it, I thought it had something to do with plugging in my toaster or cable TV. It’s been a running joke ever since. She smiles, glad to see she’s made me lighten up.

  She reads my mind and continues. “How does that French saying go again? Un de perdu…”

  “Dix de retrouvés…One lost, ten found. Frankly, I’m not looking for anyone.”

  “What if you didn’t need to look? There’s Antoine, for example…” She throws me an inquisitive look.

  “What about him?”

  “Aren’t you a tad excited to see him?”

  “Hmm. I guess. He’s doing really well for himself apparently.”

  “You brushed him off pretty quickly. I think he sounds like a great guy.” She winks mischievously.

  “I’m definitely not going there Lisa. It’s bad enough I crossed the line with a firm client. Like I said, I’m not in the mood for men these days.”

  “Your call. Just try to enjoy yourself. I’m sure it will be a blast!”

  “Yeah, like the kind of blast you get from a major propane explosion.”

  “Lighten up, mademoiselle! At least the weather will be great. You’ll come back totally revitalized.”

  “I hope so. I need something good to happen in my life right now.”

  Two in the morning is probably not the greatest time to be packing for a corporate trip; your brain is a bit fuzzy and your fashion judgment tends to go out the window. A bit exhausted from a day of non-stop meetings, I throw two pairs of Havaianas flip-flops and two Eres bikinis in my suitcase (perfect for paintball non?). But what to bring for business meetings and dinners? I sit on my bed for a moment, posing like Rodin’s The Thinker. I get an idea for a fabulous outfit: I dig deep into my closet to find the perfect skirt and shuffle about for at least half an hour before I remember that the lower part of my outfit is being dry cleaned. Merde! I try to find a different outfit, put some items together, but nothing is quite as wonderful as the outfit I had originally thought of. Maybe I could break and
enter Madame Paulette’s in the middle of the night to get my skirt back? I start pulling out and trying on everything in my closet until my apartment looks like it’s been ransacked, but nothing really works. I am now seriously hyperventilating since Harry Traum is picking me up in less than two hours to take me to the airport. Calm down, Catherine, take a deep breath. Ahhh! Quite literally, everything is sending me over the edge these days. After I calm my jittery nerves, I pick out a light pink vintage leather jacket, a pair of Acne jeans, T-shirts, my new Dior suit (I never leave home without it), a black off-the-shoulder evening dress, Lanvin stilettos, workout clothes and two Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses. I throw a few vintage necklaces and my J. Crew clutch on the pile and voila, I’m ready to go. Ouf!

  At five sharp, Harry Traum’s limo pulls up in front of my building. Most of my colleagues had flown out yesterday to get a game of golf in before the official firm meetings. My involvement with an overseas file had “forced” me to postpone my trip by one day and as an unexpected side effect had made Harry Traum my travel companion. His driver meets me in the lobby to help with my luggage. Inside the car, I fumble to make career-appropriate conversation despite my incapacity to speak English properly this early in the morning.

  “The firm seems to be doing very well these days. We’re quite busy in the corporate department. How are things in litigation?”

  “I’m always busy. You wouldn’t believe the number of corporate thieves there are out there.”

  Yes sir, I do believe it. I could’ve added another thief to the long list but decided to settle the score myself instead.

  “I’ve heard some good things about your work, Catherine. Apparently, you’re a smart cookie.”

  Well, this is nice to hear first thing in the morning. I try to restrain a beaming smile.

  “Thank you, I’ve been working very hard. I hope it pays off.”