by Capps, Bonny
She smiles, and it seems that she recalls a fond memory. “My uncle. I saw him once, but he had the kindest eyes.”
“What was his name?” I ask.
She shakes her head, “I don’t know. I would only refer to him as Uncle. You have to realize that everything was a secret when I was growing up.”
I bow my head.
“They… they would talk about a meeting place when my uncle called my father. I’d overhear them. My father called it the house. That’s it. I’ve never seen it, but it sounded like it was far from where we lived. He would lock me away when he would go there, and he’d be gone until the early morning hours.”
“The house.” I murmur.
Sighing, she nods slowly, wrapping the blanket tightly around herself.
I run a hand through my hair as I look up at her, “I can’t leave you here alone anymore.”
A lone tear rolls over her cheek and nestles itself into the crevice of her nose. “What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
My eyes travel over to Bailey’s. Luckily the bastard only hit him with a tranquilizer the other night. He’s been a little fidgety since, but he’s okay.
I pull my phone from my pocket and sort through my contacts. There’s only one person that I can think to call, the only person that I can trust right now.
“Hello?” He says in his exhausted state. It’s past ten, so he was probably just lying down.
“Dad. I need your help.”
I hear him shuffling around when he responds. “Sure. What’s going on, son?”
I explain what happened to Dani, and express that I need someone to stay with her.
“Where did you find this girl, Gabriel?” He asks flatly.
“We’re… friends.” I respond, my eyes landing on hers.
He sighs. “What’s her name?”
“Dani LeBlanc.” I respond.
“Wait…” He responds, “Dani LeBlanc?”
I nod, “Yes. I know she’s been missing, but --”
“No, it’s alright. Listen, I’ll have your mother go and stay with her while you’re gone.”
I frown. “I was hoping that you could come stay with her while I get some things sorted out.”
He laughs. “Son, you know that I can’t. I’m busy. Your mom will be fine. She’ll keep her company.”
I shake my head. “What if this guy comes back? He’s supposedly huge.”
“Gabriel, she’ll be fine. I’ve got to go.”
I hang up and look into Dani’s blue eyes. “My mother will be here on Monday. I’m going to sort all of this out. I promise.”
She tucks her hair behind her ear, “I won’t tell anyone… about anything.”
I stand and sit beside her on the bed. I wrap an arm around her and she lays her head on my chest. “I couldn’t blame you if you did.”
“Did you really plan on killing me?” She whispers, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
“I only kill people to help them. At least that’s what I tell myself.”
She tilts her head and looks into my eyes. “And you thought that I needed help?”
I nod. “Yeah, you were on that site. In the chat room, “Where the Lonely Ones Roam”.”
She frowns and shakes her head. “No, I wasn’t. I’ve never even been in a chat room before.”
Laughing nervously, I turn to face her. “You were. I know it was you. Dani Blue. You told me that you were ready to go. I did the search and it took me straight to you.”
“Dani Blue?” She whispers, tears rising to her eyes.
“Yes. That was your user name.” I pause and retrieve my phone, “See. That was you.”
She looks over the screenshots of the private message. “Gabriel, that isn’t me. I’m telling you, I didn’t do that.”
I massage the back of my neck as I stare at her.
“If it wasn’t you… then who was it? Why were they in your home using your computer? That’s the only way that the search could have led me to you.”
She places the phone next to her and wraps her arms around herself. “I don’t know.”
“There is one person…” She says, diverting her eyes. “My father always called me that. Dani Blue.”
My eyebrows furrow as I look down at her black and blue body. “Do you think that he set us up?”
Her eyes meet mine once more. “I… I don’t know.”
Running a hand through my hair, I stand. “I’m going to go run you a bath.”
I almost make it to the bathroom door when she whispers, “Gabriel.”
“Promise me that if you can’t end him… that you’ll end me.”
I bow my head as I contemplate her words.
“I promise.”
18
"Even psychopaths have emotions, then again, maybe not."
-Richard Ramirez
I sit next to Gabriel in the living room as we wait. He brought me a flowing, silk white gown in order to help me heal comfortably. He looks incredibly nervous.
Shit, I’m incredibly nervous.
I watch his knee bounce up and down erratically as he taps his left foot anxiously. I place a hand on his leg and his eyes meet mine. He hesitantly slides his hand over mine and squeezes my fingers gently.
We both startle when the doorbell rings throughout the house.
He gets up, and I watch him disappear into the foyer.
I nervously wring my fingers and stare at them as I wait on the couch.
My eyes dart to the entrance of the living room as Gabriel and his mother stand awkwardly.
She looks from Gabriel to me before she steps forward and extends a hand.
Standing, I walk towards her and wrap my fingers around hers. “Mrs. Smith, it’s nice to meet you.”
Smiling, she releases my hand. “Amelia, please. And you’re Dani?”
I nod. “That’s me.”
Gabriel places his hand on her back, “I’ve got some things that I’ve got to take care of. Please, call me if anything is wrong.”
She nods, “Everything will be fine son.”
“Nice place big bro!”
Our eyes travel towards the foyer where a younger version of Amelia stands, her eyes travelling around curiously.
“Jessy.” Gabriel says. Walking towards her, he wraps his arms around her shoulders.
“This is Dani.” He says as he ushers her towards me.
“Whoah.” She murmurs, and I flinch as she runs her fingers over my cheek. “What happened to you?”
“Jessy.” Gabriel warns.
I force a smile. “No. It’s okay. I got beaten up, that’s all.”
Amelia frowns as she looks towards Gabriel.
I watch as his jaw tenses. “Really?” He snaps.
“Oh,” I murmur, “It wasn’t him. It was my father.”
His mother’s eyes snap to mine. “Your father? Why would he do such a thing?”
Sighing, I plop my sore body back onto the couch. “He… I haven’t seen him since I was seventeen. He found me here.”
Jessy gasps. “You’re the girl that’s been missing.”
I nod slowly as my eyes travel to each of them.
Amelia’s eyebrows pinch together. “Gabriel, what is she doing here?”
He runs his hand through his hair, and when he’s about to explain, I jump in.
My eyes lock onto his. “Gabriel and I have been seeing each other for a while. We agreed that it wouldn’t be anything serious, but when I found out that my father was looking for me… he helped me. He brought me here. He’s been taking care of me. Then my father found me somehow.”
Jessy looks towards him. “So there was a lady in the picture. Liar.”
He pulls his eyes from mine. “Yes. And she has become something very special to me.”
My heart flutters as his eyes land on mine once more. “And I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”
Amelia and Jessy look towards each other with a slight smile on their face
s.
“On that note,” He continues, “I need to go get a few things taken care of. Please, call me if anything happens.”
“So how did you and Gabriel meet?” Jessy asks, her eyes never leaving her phone.
Amelia sits on the windowsill of the living room as she stares out aimlessly.
“Oh… We had a meeting. He was going to build the stage for my fall show, that’s actually supposed to happen in the next few weeks. I’m a designer.”
Jessy’s eyes snap to mine. “Really? Like, what kind of clothes do you make?”
“Jessy, leave the poor girl alone.” Amelia murmurs, her eyes never leaving the window.
Jessy scowls at her before her eyes meet mine. “So, how did you manage to get with my brother? He’s basically never dated anyone before.”
“Jessy,” Amelia says, standing and approaching us, “Why don’t you go take Bailey out for a walk.”
“But --”
Amelia holds a hand up. “Go on. I’d like to have a word with Dani.”
19
“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”
-Plutarch
I’ve learned how to hide away in the darkness as I help the demon’s voice echo. It bounce, bounce, bounces around, igniting the chaos that has yet to follow.
There is a way to madness, often it is learned. And if you’re unfortunate enough, you’ll have a shadow like me following you night and day, whispering imaginative ways to make them all fucking pay.
A shadow is not your friend, nor your enemy, but your conscience. A shadow is not your lord or your savior, but it will make sure you’re compliant.
There is evil in us all, and a shadow will make you rejoice in it, because when you’re evil – you can’t simply forfeit.
Yes, I am a shadow, and while you sleep, I will plot ways to make others weep.
I am the shadow that haunts your dreams, who helps you scheme your wrongdoings.
Those scary movies that you’ve been watching got it all wrong.
Because all along – monsters do not dwell in your closets or under your bed…
They live inside of your head.
20
"I haven't blocked out the past. I wouldn't trade the person I am, or what I've done - or the people I've known - for anything. So I do think about it. And at times it's a rather mellow trip to lay back and remember."
-Ted Bundy
Staring at my computer screen, I wonder what it is that I’m going to find. “The house” is what they called it. That would be the first place that I’d go, but how I’m supposed to find it, I have no clue.
I sigh as I recall what she’d said.
“Promise me that if you can’t end him, you’ll end me.”
I jump when I hear someone holler. Standing, I walk to the door and peer out of the blinds. My office is right across from my father’s, and I watch as he paces around like a madman. He’s having a heated discussion with someone on the phone. He probably thinks he’s the only one in the building since it’s after 8 PM.
His words are not audible as they are muffled by the glass windows and door. He’s definitely exasperated as he runs his hand through his hair and leans against the desk.
I decide to go to him, because my father never gets this upset. Something is wrong.
Once I exit my office, his blue eyes travel to mine, and when I reach his door – he scowls at me as he lowers his blinds and locks me out.
I stand flabbergasted as I look at the closed blinds. Perhaps he’s upset. I haven’t been involved in the family business lately. So much has been happening. I’m afraid that I’ve let him down. When I begin to turn, the door creaks open.
“Gabriel, come here.”
I walk slowly to the door and peer in.
“Who was that?”
His bloodshot eyes meet mine as he pours us both a tumbler of whisky. “Greedy bastard, deal or no deal type of guy. Sometimes you’ve got to strong arm them.”
He slides the tumbler towards me as I narrow my eyes at him before taking a seat. “What did he want? I’m sure that we could have worked out something.”
He laughs. “I’m sure we could have, Gabriel. I’m sure. You know, while I’m at it, why not just take a knife to my balls?”
I shake my head before diverting my eyes. He’s acting like a fool, surely it’s the alcohol in his system.
“Of course, you’d know all about getting what you want. Isn’t that right?” He says slyly, and my eyes meet his as he continues, “Isn’t that how you roll? Snatching up girls left and right, using them as you see fit, and then killing them in a sorry attempt to help them?”
My body grows rigid as my eyes stay locked on his.
“Yes.” He whispers. “Daddy knows all about you, son. I know what you like. I knew when you were younger. But hey, embrace it.”
“Stop.” I snap as I jump to my feet.
He snickers. “Dammit, Gabriel you’re always so serious. We’re just having some bonding time over a few drinks.”
“How do you know?” I ask shakily.
He smiles, “Let’s just say a little birdie told me.”
I frown at him and watch as his eyes move from me to the dark hallway outside of his office door. My eyes slowly move from him to the hall, and my breath catches in my throat when I see the shadow man standing still - right outside of the door.
Then, he takes off running.
“Hey!” I holler as my feet start moving after him. I follow him through hallways and around cubicles before he breaks open the doors with the glowing exit sign above.
I go down the many flights of stairs and stop when I see him standing right outside of the exit.
“What do you want from me?!” I scream.
He doesn’t respond, but I can see the outline of his lips curl into a smile.
Smoke clouds the stairway and when it clears, he’s gone.
My chest is heaving as I stare at the place where he was just standing. Turning, I run back up the stairs and to my father’s office.
The light is off, and when I flick it on, I grab handfuls of hair as I look over the neatly stacked papers of his once disheveled desk, the tumblers are clean and placed neatly on the shelf, the whisky remains unopened.
“No.” I whisper as tears rise in my eyes. “No, no, no. He was right there.”
My back slides down the doorframe as I sink to the floor. The tears that I’ve held in for so long run down my face.
It seems that madness is finally completely claiming my broken mind. My world is crashing around me as I question what’s real, and what’s not.
I question everything. Life, death, existence, decisions.
Dani.
Is she real? Is she the only thing that’s real?
I become angry as my tears transform from sadness to regret to anger.
My head flies back as I scream, releasing all of my turmoil into the atmosphere. I can’t keep it locked inside of my mind any longer.
21
"Take your worst nightmares, and put my face to them."
-Tommy Lynn Sells
Amelia smiles as she places two mugs of chamomile tea on the coffee table. “Here we are.”
I retrieve the cup and hold it in my hands, relishing in the warm feel of the ceramic against my palms.
“What was Gabriel like when he was younger?” I ask before taking a sip of the hot tea.
She smiles wide. “He was a sweet boy. He always thought about others. He was always so conflicted, though.”
I frown. “Conflicted? Why?”
She sighs as she watches Jessy play with Bailey beneath the outdoor lights as the moon shines in the distance. I smile as I watch the husky bound after the stick that she’s been throwing.
“It’s my fault.” Amelia whispers. “I never told him the truth, and he had to go searching for it on his own. In a way, I knew. I knew when he began looking at me with resentment in his eye
s. I chalked it up to him just being a teenager, but I knew deep down that he found out about… about him.”
“Who? Who did he find out about?” I implore as my fingers tighten around the mug.
She lets out a long exhale as her gentle brown eyes meet mine. “His father. He was a murderer, a sadistic man. He took me, and he kept me up until we ended him.”
She pauses as she stares down at her tea. “Gabriel was born into a world of chaos. I guess I should have assumed that he would be sick… that he would…” Her eyes meet mine, “It’s nothing.”
I reach over and place a hand on her knee, causing her to flinch. “Tell me.”
“You already know. Because there isn’t any hiding what my son is.”
I shake my head, “He’s not a bad man.”
She surprises me when she laughs, “There is no way that a child could come from that man and have a good bone in his body. Gabriel has surprised me for the most part, but I see it in him. His eyes… those eyes are his father’s. His face… his father’s, his voice, his mannerisms – all of it. His father’s.”
Our eyes remain locked, but then, it seems as though time freezes when a scream emanates from outside. My eyes snap from the window where Bailey stands alone and then back to Amelia. She leaps up and I watch as the mug slips from her fingers and crashes against the cold floor. It breaks, scattering tea and shards of ceramic across the hard wood.
I follow behind as she bolts through the front door and spins around. Her voice is hoarse as she screams for Jessy, but she’s no-where. My gaze wanders to Bailey, and I see that he is still standing still as he stares into the wilderness surrounding Gabriel’s home.
My heart races as I run to the woods and trip over the rough terrain. Landing on my hands and knees, my eyes travel around the walls of trees that surround me. I climb to my feet and run my dirty palms over the white gown that Gabriel had given me.
“Jessy!” I holler. I stand quietly as I will my ears to work overtime.
I hear a twig break and my bare feet pound the earth as I make my way towards the sound. I’m quickly losing my sense of direction as I get further into the woods.