by Capps, Bonny
Stopping abruptly, I bend over and place my hands on my knees as I catch my breath.
I am startled when I hear another sound. Whipping around, I’m sharing the otherwise vacant clearing with a stark white stag. He stares at me intently as the broken moonlight shines through the trees against his beautifully formed antlers. He looks otherworldly as his chocolate eyes survey me.
I gasp when I feel a pinch in my neck, and my knees buckle as I reach up and feel the tiny needle in my neck. My eyes look beyond the trees and I see a man’s form as he lowers his arm. He’s got a body draped over his broad shoulder. I can barely make anything out, but I know it’s got to be Jessy.
I open my lips, but I can’t form any words.
Turning, he descends into the darkness of the woods as I fall, my entire world going black.
22
"None of us are saints."
-Albert Fish
I walk out into the cool air. The summer has ended, and now fall is upon us with winter in tow. I love the idea of everything turning cold, spreading ice across every vulnerable surface. It’s the only time that can relate to this world that I live in.
My heart pounds away when I see my father approach the entrance with his briefcase in his hand. He stops and smiles at me. His hair is nicely styled and his eyes are no longer filled with tiny red veins.
“Son.” He says, approaching me. “Are you okay?”
My lips twitch into a smile. “You’re just now getting in?”
He tilts his head to the side, “I was here today, of course. I’m just now getting back in. I had a dinner meeting with some new clients. Why? What’s wrong?”
A hushed laugh tumbles from my lips. I am fucking insane. It wasn’t him. It’s all in my head.
His phone begins playing its melody, and he frowns at me as he digs it out of his pocket.
“Hello?”
His expression darkens as he listens to the person on the other end.
“Amelia, calm down. She didn’t simply vanish.”
My eyes grow wide as I listen.
Finally, he snaps his phone shut and his frightened gaze meets mine. “It’s Jessy. She’s gone. Come on. We need to go find her.”
Once we pull into my driveway, I see my mother kneeling on the gravel with her fists balled at her sides. She remains unmoving as we approach her.
I kneel down and grasp her shoulders. “Mom. What did you see?”
She doesn’t respond. She just stares into the woods aimlessly as tears slowly make their way down her cheeks.
Standing, I look towards my father. “We’ve got to call the police.”
He holds his hand up as he shakes his head. “No. This can be handled without the authorities.”
“Dad --”
He grasps my shoulders as he steps towards me. “This is probably a pissed off client.”
I scoff. “A pissed off client?”
He nods, “They could be holding her ransom. We need to wait it out and see if they contact us.”
I shake my head as I turn and face my mother. “Where’s Dani?”
She slowly lifts her arm and points towards the woods. My wide eyes find the clearing before turning and facing dad. “Get mom inside. I need to go find Dani.”
My heart is beating emphatically as my eyes scan the woods for her.
“Dani!” I holler. No answer, and I begin to lose hope. But then I see a small white form lying on the soft earth. I run towards her and drop to my knees.
She’s on her back, her head tilted to the side as her long, blonde hair surrounds her like a halo. I’m relieved when I see her chest slowly rising and falling. The gown clings to her body, and even with all of the cuts and scrapes – even with her broken spirit – she is the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen.
I frown when I see the needle protruding from her neck. I swiftly pull it out and hold it before my eyes. Someone shot her with it to knock her out, and I’m assuming they did it to keep her from following them.
I hear the leaves of the trees rustling above me, and then I feel a raindrop kiss my cheek before it’s followed by many more. Her gown is becoming soaked as the sky opens up and releases a torrent of rain over us.
I quickly gather her in my arms and make my way from the woods. Each drop of rain sends an icy chill down my spine, but I stop when I see the soaked piece of paper tacked to the tree.
“Let’s play a game of hide and seek.”
I frown as I reach out and snatch the paper from the bark, stuffing it into my pocket, I continue on my way.
Once inside I lay her on the bed before pulling the soaked gown from her body. Her eyes flutter open and lock onto mine.
“Gabriel.” She whispers as she sits up on her elbows, “There was a man. He shot me with something.”
“I know. You’re going to be okay.” I respond as I pull one of my t-shirts over her head. I grab some pajama pants and hold them open for her. She clumsily steps into them, and I smile as I cinch them as tight as possible, but they still swallow her tiny body.
“Thanks to you.” She murmurs.
I place my hands on each of her cheeks and pull her lips to mine. Once I pull away, I press my forehead against hers, “I need to get you some clothes that fit.”
She frowns. “Where is Jessy?”
I squeeze my eyes shut momentarily. “I don’t know.”
Tears rise in her eyes, “I tried.”
I nod, “I know you did, baby. Lie down for a while. I’m going to go see if my parents have heard anything.”
She smiles as I pull the blanket up to her neck. “I’ll be back.”
I begin walking down the stairs and stop at the last one when I hear my mother.
“Who – who is this?”
I rush into the living room and stand beside my father who is looking at her anxiously.
Her nostrils flare and her eyes grow wide as her hand shakes uncontrollably.
“You need to tell me who you are and what you want right now. Do you understand me?”
She pulls the phone from her ear and stares at it blankly before placing it down on the table.
“Amelia, who was that?” My father asks as he crosses his arms tightly across his chest.
Her phone buzzes across the wooden surface as all of our eyes land on it. I look from my mother to the phone, but she doesn’t budge.
I reach down and retrieve the phone. Sliding my thumb across the screen, my eyes grow wide when I see the picture sent from an unknown number. Jessy is tied up and looks to be unconscious. I’m assuming that she’s in the trunk of a car, and below the picture, it reads:
“It’s only a matter of time before I get to meet you all, I cannot wait to see your empire fall.”
I look towards my father and read him the message.
He nods. “Then we wait for more clues. This guy is going to eventually want money. Contacting the authorities is basically nailing Jessy’s coffin shut.”
Shaking my head, I look towards my mother. She looks comatose. “So, we just wait? Dad, we have to do something!”
His jaw tenses as he narrows his eyes at me. “No – we do not do anything. This guy wants money. He will not kill her.”
He walks towards my mother and grasps her elbow, helping her stand. “Call me if anything happens. Kapeesh?”
I nod my head as I cross my arms tightly over my chest.
23
“I had a compulsion to do it.”
-Ed Gein
I’m just as crazy.
That’s what I keep telling myself. How can you embrace normalcy when your existence was so futile? When your childhood was a game for another – when your body didn’t belong to you, but someone else entirely?
This life can be so cruel. It can chew you up to the point where you’re unrecognizable before spitting you back into the chaos.
Crazy people thrive in chaos. We can’t live happily within the silent walls of our minds. No. We must claw at our brains until it’s a stew o
f unrelenting questions. We must beat ourselves bloody to eventually enjoy pain - because pain is the rawest emotion that you can feel. Pain doesn’t allow for an escape for most – but for me… for Gabriel… it’s the only way that we can quiet the evil entities that taunt us.
Gabriel taught me that. He’s not only my love – but my teacher – my savior – my healer.
For so long, I stood near the edge as the river of life rushed past me. So many times, I wanted to be like all of the other fish that would swim down the stream. I couldn’t though, because I wasn’t like all of the other fish. I was different - always standing apart from the others. I assume that’s why I was the little tomboy, covered in dirt as I dressed my dolls in my makeshift fashions. I would make them pretty, because I never knew that it was possible for me to be beautiful. My hands though, they were capable of creating magnificence.
His hands, they are capable of making me feel beautiful, and loved.
“Hey.” He whispers, peeking into the bedroom.
“Hi.” I say softly. “Have your parents left?”
He enters and closes the door behind him. “Yeah.”
I sit up as he sits beside me on the bed. “Did you hear anything about Jessy? Have you called the police?”
Shaking his head, he frowns. “No. My dad is adamant that we wait it out. I don’t understand why he won’t get the police involved.”
“Do you know what they want?”
“No.” He responds. “The guy sent a picture of Jessy to my mother’s phone. It said that he couldn’t wait to meet us all… something about empires falling. I also found a note tacked to a tree when I was carrying you back to the house from the woods. It said something about hide and seek. I don’t know if it was the person who took Jessy that put it there or not. It looked pretty fresh, so I’m assuming it was.”
“Wow.” I breathe out, hugging my knees against my chest.
“She’ll be okay. If there’s one thing that I know about my sister, it’s that she’s a fighter.”
I nod. “It’s just odd that all of this occurs right around the time that my father found me.”
“I agree.” He responds.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I let out a sigh. My brain is in overdrive, and it’s been since I saw the man with Jessy.
“Look,” He whispers, “I understand if you want to go back home, especially after all that I’ve done. I can make sure that you’re safe.”
My eyes fly open and lock onto his. “Do you want me to leave?”
He smiles as he reaches over and runs his fingertips across my cheek. “No. I don’t. It’s crazy. What you’re doing to me… I don’t understand it.”
I place my hand over his, “Then I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why?” He rasps, his eyebrows pinching together.
I smile. “I don’t understand it either, but I don’t want to leave. Not anytime soon.”
He leans in and brushes his nose against mine, “Is it bad that I want you right now? Considering everything?”
I exhale as he runs his fingers along my neck. “I think that you need a distraction. I don’t think that it has anything to do with me.”
“No, no, no, Dani.” He murmurs before kissing me along my jaw, “It has everything to do with you.”
I sit up on my knees and pull his shirt over my head before standing. I slip his pajama pants over my hips and his index finger traces over a tiny tattoo of an arrow over my ribs.
“Always move forward, never backward.” I whisper.
His green eyes survey my body as I stand bare before him.
“You’re so beautiful.” He murmurs as he grasps my hips and pulls me towards him.
I slowly work on the buttons of his shirt as I kiss the skin above each one.
I push the shirt over his shoulders and run my fingers over the large tattoo covering his chest.
Looking up, a chill shoots down my spine when I see the green of his eyes.
“All of their stories. So I can’t forget. I don’t want to forget. It somehow helps me justify who I am and what my hands have done.”
I smile as I take his large hands into my small ones. I kiss each one of his knuckles before my eyes find his once more, “I love your hands… regardless of what they’re capable of.”
He reaches up and cups my cheek in his hand as his thumb tugs at my bottom lip.
A sly smile spreads across my face as I get to work on his button and fly. He lifts his hips and I tug his jeans and boxers down, exposing his erection.
I grasp his shaft and lick my lips as I stare into his eyes.
“You don’t have to.” He rasps, a pained look sweeping over his face.
“I want to.” I reassure him before my lips wrap around his cock, igniting a moan to roll from his lips.
“Oh my God.” He murmurs as he wraps his fingers in my hair. He doesn’t hold me down, or force my movements as my head moves up and down.
I love how his length fills my mouth, and when I take him down my throat, there is no hesitation because I want him more than anything that I’ve ever wanted in my life.
“Stop.” He grits out.
He grabs me from beneath my arms and throws me onto my back before crawling over me. He fills me immediately, causing my back to rise from the mattress as pleasure fills me entirely.
My eyes flutter shut as he slowly pumps into me.
“No, baby, Open your eyes. I need to see those eyes while I fuck you.”
A smile sweeps over my face as my heavy lids open, allowing me to peer into his beautiful eyes.
“Gabriel.” I moan as his paces quickens. Our naked chests brush against each other and our heavy breathing fills the air. It’s only us in this moment as he takes me.
I grab handfuls of his hair as I tighten around him.
His lips meet mine as he pounds harder, my legs wrapping around his hips as I hold on with everything that I have.
His head flies back as he stills himself, and I can feel his release within my walls as I continue to tighten around him, milking him completely.
“Can I ask you something that you’ll probably consider cliché?” I ask as I trace my finger over his collarbone. Our legs are wrapped around each other and our naked skin feels as though it’s molded together. My cheek rests on his chest as I listen to his steadily beating heart.
“I’m sure you’ll ask anyway.” He responds playfully.
I look up at him as I rest my chin on my hand. “What did you think when you first met me?”
He presses his head against the pillow as he laughs. “That is pretty cliché.”
I wrinkle my nose, “Seriously! Tell me.”
His smile fades as he looks at me with tenderness in his eyes, “I thought you were absolutely beautiful. I also thought that you were hiding something under that tough exterior. I don’t know. I just wanted to know you.”
I purse my lips, “What do you think now that you do know me?”
He smiles as he runs his thumb over my cheek. “I think you’re even more beautiful.”
Frowning, I kiss his chest and press my cheek against his skin before wrapping my arms around him.
“What is it?” He whispers as he runs his fingers through my hair.
“I don’t want to let go.”
I listen intently, but all I hear is the calm beat of his heart. It’s disheartening, and just when the tears begin to rise to my eyes, he responds.
“You’ll let go of me one day. But I’ll never, ever let go of you Dani.”
24
"In this hole lives the wicked king."
-David Berkowitz
I walk up the remaining steps before pushing the door open. The wind catches the metal and causes it to bang against the exterior wall.
My father is standing with his hands in his pockets. My eyes meet the sky as the heavy, black clouds roll in, accompanied by bolts of lightning. The thunder echoes off of the buildings that surround us as we stand on the roof of the empire that we both bu
ilt together.
A haze falls around us as the imminent storm approaches.
I step beside him and look over the city. We’re so high up that the people who walk hurriedly down and across streets look like tiny ants.
“It’s been three days.” I say.
A false smile spreads across his distraught face. “Do you know why we’ve been successful, Gabriel?”
I shake my head slowly. I already know the answer, I just don’t want to hear it again.
He turns and faces me, “Because we do not buckle or bend, because we do not roll over, because we are the one percent. We would not be the one percent if we gave in.”
I grit my teeth. “Empires were made to fall. That doesn’t mean that they cannot be rebuilt.”
“You’re a fool.” He seethes. “This is not the son that I raised. The son that I raised would comprehend why I’m doing what I’m doing.”
“And what are you doing?” I exclaim. “A man has your daughter – my sister. We don’t even know if she’s alive. We don’t know if he’s hurting her. Dad, in most circumstances I would be with you one hundred percent, but not right now. Enough is enough. We need to call the police.”
I pull my phone from my pocket, but he grabs it from me and slams it against the roof before stomping it with his foot.
“What the fuck?” I holler as I stare at my crushed phone.
He grasps the collar of my shirt as he steps closer. “I said no police involvement.”
I wrap my fingers around his wrist and squeeze tightly, causing his fingers to let go of the collar of my shirt. He steps away as I reach down and retrieve my destroyed phone. “I will call them when I get to my office. Believe it.”
I begin making my way back inside when he stops me.
“He’s sent another message.”
I turn swiftly and approach him. “What did he say?”
“Your mother, he sent it to her.”
His eyes meet mine. “I… I…”
“What is it?” I exclaim, becoming frustrated.
Shaking his head emphatically he begins backing away, and my body tenses as he gets close to the edge of the building.