In Memoriam

by Suzanne Jenkins

  “I don’t think it is,” Nelda said. “I think you got your face slapped and have made the choice not to get over it. Make peace with your daughter. She’s all you have now. Lisa and her children. Dan can go straight to hell, but you have to tell him that. Don’t take whatever this is out on Lisa.”

  “Is that what you think I’m doing?” Pam was still reeling from her comment, but it had lost its momentum. What if Nelda is right?

  ~ ~ ~

  While the women helped Sandra and the children get situated, Pam realized that, although possibly short-lived, she had a new sense of peace. Back in the birthing room that morning, she’d had a moment with Lisa in which she’d been able to move past what had happened with Dan. She’d taken her mother’s advice and more or less told him off, and now she was getting the opportunity to hold Brent’s son, if what Sandra said could be true. She put Miranda down and reached for Thomas Brent. Baby Brent. The annoying singsong of baby Brent, Brent’s baby, echoed in her head. Why did it make her angry? Everything had the potential, she guessed.

  Propping him up on her lap, she examined his face. He had cheeks that almost rested on his chest they were so chubby. Spiked white-blond hair and huge blue eyes screamed I am Brent’s baby. He jammed a very chubby fist in his mouth and started to gnaw on it. Suddenly, the awfulness of it, that Brent wouldn’t know him, didn’t even know he existed or that the idea of him existed, that the baby would never know his own father, hit Pam in the face. She burst out crying, blubbering more like it.

  “He really is Brent’s,” she exclaimed, hugging him to her. “Oh, how sad.”

  Nelda went to her, wondering if this was going to be the meltdown she envisioned Pam having. Sandra hovered close by, frightened. She’d never seen Pam react like this, through so many tragedies. It was amazing the power a small baby had over the emotions.

  But not yet for her. Sandra was like an automaton. Losing Ellin may have been the catalyst for the transformation. Finding out what kind of awful man Jack was, leaving her with HIV was bad enough. She’d slowly watched as her relationship with Tom deteriorated, allowing it to happen. Brent had raped her, but she didn’t do anything about it, either. Being pregnant, living with a man who showed no interest in her or the baby for all those months sealed something within her, some power to self-preserve in spite of his treatment of her. But Pam’s show of emotion de-iced her, and she could feel her physical body and mind coming to life again as she watched the women make a fuss over her son. He was Brent’s. A dead man’s child. The impact of what effect that might have on him if she didn’t pull it together hit her.

  “Isn’t he amazing?” she said, hoping to reinforce something positive.

  “Oh, he is,” Pam replied. “He looks exactly like Brent did. Look at those cheeks!”

  “He looks like you did as a baby, too, Pam,” Nelda said, not going to allow Bernice to upstage her again.

  “He’s a very nice combination of you and Brent,” Bernice said. “After all, he was my grandson!”

  “Mine too, you old witch,” Nelda said.

  Bernice laughed, wiping her eyes. “Yes, let’s not get too maudlin,” she said while Pam gasped, laughing through her tears.

  “Mother, you do have a way,” she said.

  “I can’t stand it anymore,” Nelda replied. “Pull it together. Honest to god, we have this happy occasion and all we’re going to do is pass the kid around crying.”

  Pam handed him back to Sandra, going in search for a tissue. She had to admit to herself that what had just happened was therapeutic.

  “What a day,” she said. “Let’s eat, shall we? I’m starving.”

  They started to chatter again, about Lisa and Dan and baby Marcus, Gladys coming through for Lisa, and now this.

  Brent’s baby, baby Brent.

  Chapter 6

  Walking to his mother’s place after he had it out with Sandra, New York cop Tom Adams’ anger was spent. He’d loved Sandra. He’d waited his entire life to commit to someone special and thought, in spite of her history, she was the one. What he hadn’t expected was that history would find a way of repeating itself. He didn’t feel right about her being pregnant from the very beginning. He didn’t love the baby. Nothing good could have come from Brent Smith. He was as bad as his father had been. When Tom discovered Brent was coming to work with Sandra, his radar burst into action, and what it was telling him was not good. He’d left a trail of bad press behind in California. Even his social media presence was negative.

  Sandra admitted Brent was at his father’s apartment the Saturday she’d met Pam there. Now he wondered if he’d been there the other times Sandra went to visit. He was too proud to dig for the wheres and hows, and besides, he didn’t think he’d survive a confession. Now his main concern was telling his mother. She loved little Miranda, but chances were iffy that he’d get custody once Pam discovered Sandra gave birth to her grandchild.

  Virginia Adams knew what Tom was going to say before he said it. “I figured it out,” she said, pulling a tissue out from under her bra strap and wiping her eyes. “My question now is what will I have to live for?”

  Sisters Ellie and Faith huddled around her, trying to console her.

  “Mom, I’m going to ask Pam for custody, at least joint. We’ve taken good care of Miranda; I can’t believe she’d deny me that.”

  “Oh, I can,” Virginia said. “She’s a vindictive one, she is.”

  Faith nodded her head. “I think Mom’s right. We need to get an attorney.”

  Tom dreaded a big legal mess. It was like taking on a hobby for which he had no desire. “I’ll ask around, but I don’t think we have any grounds. We went into this knowing we were doing custodial care without rights. Pam more than took care of every monetary need she could have, including paying your salary.”

  “I would do it without the money now,” Virginia said.

  “It might look like we were taking advantage of Pam,” Tom said. “She gave us money, took care of all of Miranda’s monetary needs, and bought us that house. What did it cost us? All we had to do was provide a family for her.”

  “And we did that,” his mother said.

  “Such as it was,” Faith said.

  Everyone’s heads turned to look at her.

  “Well, think about it. Sandra couldn’t keep her legs together even if it meant destroying her family. What’s up with that?”

  “That was lovely, Faith. Thank you,” Tom said, disgusted.

  “I only speak the truth.”

  “Okay, this isn’t going to resolve anything, you two,” Virginia said. “Let’s try to think of a way to keep that baby in our lives.”

  “All I can think of right now is how I can get through the weekend. Is it okay if I move in for a while?” Tom asked.

  Virginia thought of her tiny apartment and her six-foot-six son sleeping on the couch. But how could she say no? “I wish you would reconsider before moving out,” she said, hopeful he’d think about it at least. “An attorney will tell you your leaving the house might represent abandonment.”

  Tom frowned. “How would you know something like that?”

  “Well, not to dredge up the past, but if you’ll remember, your sainted father left me for Gwen. Not that I hold her responsible.”

  Her children murmured apologies to her.

  “It sucks. It really does,” Ellie said.

  “Oh well, it’s so much water under the bridge. He seems so much happier. I’m glad for him,” Virginia said softly. “And she is really very nice. I’ve enjoyed talking with her.”

  “Well, now that Sandra and I are finished, you can forget about being forced to see them or going to the beach again,” Tom said, bitterness rife.

  “Oh gosh, it would be worth it for you to stay in a shitty relationship just to have that beach house,” Virginia replied.

  “Mother! You are kidding, correct?” Faith asked, surprised. Virginia cursing was a novelty.

  “You’ll have to buy your own house
, then,” Tom said. “I hope I never see anyone from the Smith family again, especially Pam. I hold her responsible for the end of my relationship with Sandra.”

  “What does she have to do with it?” Faith asked.

  “If Sandra didn’t have Pam to run off to for support every time she got bored, she might have tried harder to stay faithful.” The admission of betrayal hit his pride, and he turned away from their prying eyes. But once what had been done to him was revealed, they went into protective mode, transferring their animosity from Sandra to Pam. No one, not even Pam Smith, would escape their wrath. So once again, Pam had more bad energy directed at her.

  ~ ~ ~

  Gladys stood aside, holding the door open for Lisa and Dan and the new baby. The big living room suddenly felt much smaller with the family gathered there, and Gladys had the first feeling that her presence may be intrusive.

  “Let me take the bags up for you,” she said, but Dan wouldn’t relinquish them.

  “No, you stay and visit. I’ll take care of it.”

  Lisa smiled at him as she reached for Megan and handed the baby off to Gladys.

  “It’s amazing to me that you just had a baby and you’re walking around with a flat stomach!” They kissed cheeks.

  “Oh, thank you so much,” Lisa said, distracted, pulling the blanket aside so Gladys could see the little face. Marcus’s hair was the topic of conversation.

  Megan was intrigued with the new baby, knowing instinctively that he was going to usurp her position of importance in the household if she didn’t act right away.

  “Momma,” she said, looking at Lisa.

  Lisa hugged her tightly. “Don’t worry, Megan. You’re still my baby,” she said softly. To Gladys, she gave a warning. “I’m sure Dan’s family is on their way. My concern is your comfort, and I want you to know that you’re more important to me than any of them.”

  Gladys patted Lisa with her free arm. “Thank you, dear. Don’t worry about me. Little Marcus is as important to them as Megan and you are to me. I won’t be driven away.”

  “Good, because right about now I’m feeling like you are my first line of defense,” Lisa said.

  “Did Pam make it to the birthing center?” Gladys asked gently.

  “She did, but you should have seen the look of relief on her face when I told her we were soon leaving for home. She couldn’t have gotten out of there faster.”

  “Well, I guess I can’t blame her. She’s been through a lot this year,” Gladys replied.

  “No more than you and Big Ed have been,” Lisa answered, frowning. “My mother tends to avoid any situation in which she isn’t the center of attention.”

  Gladys was worried Lisa was going to get on a negative roll about her mother. “Let’s let her find her place here again,” Gladys said softly. “She’s probably intimidated by Dan’s sisters because of the way they treated her.” Gladys didn’t add, “When they found out she had AIDS.”

  “It won’t happen,” Lisa said. “She was never that comfortable in the first place.” Lisa was sure now that Gladys was here, she’d see even less of her mother. No sooner were the words out of her mouth than the phone rang.

  Gladys reached for it. “They just arrived!” she said into the phone, smiling at Lisa. “It’s your mom.” She handed the phone off.

  Lisa said hello and listened for a bit before saying good-bye and hanging up.

  “The entire beach community is on their way, including Sandra and the kids,” Lisa said. “I guess I was wrong.”

  “A new baby has a power to bring people together like nothing else. Come and sit down,” Gladys said. She led Lisa to the den so she could put her feet up. “Don’t you worry about a thing. I ordered groceries yesterday, and there are plenty of snacks to serve your guests.”

  “I’m not worried about snacks. My mother never eats here. But I don’t want you to feel like my servant, either.”

  “That won’t happen, Lisa. I’m a social misfit. You’ve seen my tiny house. We never entertain. This is exciting for me. I’m actually looking forward to seeing everyone, especially Sandra’s baby.”

  Lisa thought back to the first time she met Gladys. Gladys wasn’t thrilled with her, yet the two of them would become as close as mother and daughter. “I love you, Mum,” Lisa said.

  Gladys smiled. “I love you, too.”

  They were interrupted as Dan walked in with a little baby seat that would substitute as an adequate bed when Marcus was downstairs.

  “Well, there’s no need to worry about my family coming over today. I told them you needed to rest,” he said. Looking around, he placed the chair close to where Lisa was sitting. “I thought this might be a good thing to have in here.”

  “Perfect,” Lisa said. “By the way, speaking of needing to rest, my mother and the others are headed our way. When one bad penny leaves, another shows up, or something like that.”

  Dan laughed and looked at his watch. “How do you feel about me abandoning you ten minutes after you get home from the hospital?” he asked. “I can run to the office and get some work done while your visitors are here.”

  “That’s fine,” Lisa said. “It’s for the best.”

  He bent down and kissed her cheek, kissing Megan, too. Going to Gladys, he moved the blanket away from the baby’s face and kissed Marcus and Gladys too. Everyone started to laugh.

  “Okay, my family has been kissed good-bye,” he said. “Call me when your guests leave.”

  Gladys put the baby down in his bed. “Do you want something to eat?”

  Lisa put her head back on the chair. Megan was sitting next to her mother like a big girl. “I think right now I just want to sleep,” she said. “As long as Marcus is sleeping, I might as well.” Megan curled up against Lisa, her little body warm. “Leave her, okay?”

  Gladys arranged the baby monitor so she could hear when Marcus cried. She reached for an afghan, covering Lisa and Megan with it, and tiptoed out of the room. She closed the door behind her. If Pam and her entourage arrived soon, they could just wait.

  Gladys went into the kitchen to prepare a snack tray for Lisa’s guests. Her phone buzzed; it was Big Ed.

  “So, do I have a wife somewhere in New York?”

  “If you want one you do,” she answered. “I guess it depends on how patient you are.”

  “Are you ever coming home?”

  “I’m not sure,” she said. “Lisa seems to need me here.”

  “Oh,” Ed replied. He wasn’t prepared to miss Gladys so much. “Well, am I welcome? The new husband might not want the old husband’s father hanging around.”

  “Ed, of course you are! Lisa has said that all along, and Dan is delightful. Just get in the car and come.”

  “Okay, if you’re sure. I’ll pack a bag and see you in a couple of hours,” Ed said.

  After they said good-bye, Gladys got back to work. Lisa’s kitchen was a joy to be in, huge compared to her little hole in the wall in New Jersey. Everything was new and shiny. At Lisa’s urging, Gladys made herself at home, taking over as many of the kitchen tasks as Lisa was willing to part with, which meant all of them. Catching a glimpse of her face in the polished chrome of the toaster, Gladys did a double take. After months of sadness and grief, something had clicked and she was smiling.

  Chapter 7

  Greenwich Village, once an enclave of bohemianism, the arts, and radical left-wing politics, was now home to fashionable, wealthy, more conservative residents, thanks to astronomical property values leading to rising rents. Natalie Borg didn’t fit the mold of the new occupants, having lived in the same apartment her parents purchased in 1950. Although the shops were different and NYU had taken over more and more of Washington Square, nothing changed for her. Nothing except she now had a male roommate. Ted Dale had moved in with her when his husband committed suicide.

  “It’s just proof of what I said all along about Ashton,” Ted said to Natalie shortly after they’d discovered his body. “He was so selfish; he didn’t
care what this would do to me.”

  Although Natalie felt compassion for Ashton, she understood where Ted was coming from as he worked out his anger. “He was mentally ill, Ted. You can’t take your own life and not be sick.”

  Ted had tried to reach Ashton for two days, finally bracing himself for the possibility that he was dead.

  Ted took a cab uptown on the afternoon of the second day of silence. The doorman William tipped his hat.

  “Mr. Dale,” he said.

  “Have you seen Mr. Ashton today?”

  “No, sir. Not since he came home from his trip.”

  Ashton never stayed in for longer than a few hours, let alone two days. Ted scratched his neck, thinking.

  “Do you know if Mr. Clark is home, William?” Ted asked. Mr. Clark, a retired detective, was a kind gentleman who’d come by their apartment from time to time for a glass of cognac.

  “I’ll buzz him,” William said, reaching for the phone. He keyed in a number, and Ted could hear the detective’s voice come through the line.

  “Mr. Clark said to come up.”

  Ted thanked him and went to the elevator. Not sure what to say, he decided to be honest and not have a rehearsed narrative. It was too easy to be accused of a crime regardless of your innocence. Ted watched Law and Order. Mr. Clark’s apartment was on the opposite end of the hall from Ashton’s, and when Ted stepped off the elevator, he was waiting in the doorway.

  “Hello, come in, come in,” he said, his hand sweeping the way.

  “Thanks for seeing me,” Ted said. “I actually have a favor to ask.” He decided not to beat around the bush. His anxiety was beginning to show, voice shaking, face pale.

  Mike Clark shut the door. “Of course, what can I do for you?”

  “Ashton and I separated a week ago, and I’ve been unable to reach him since yesterday. I was hoping I could impose upon you to go into the apartment, just in case. A friend has informed me that she felt he might be depressed enough to harm himself.”