Whiplash Hotel

by Christine Crean

  ‘Well the dead arose Connolly…’ Sean declared, lifting his coffee to salute her as she took her place across from him.

  ‘Ha ha…I see you’ve already eaten the hotel out of business. Do you plan on leaving anything behind for the other patrons?’

  His hair stood on end. It seemed Sean was so intent on getting some rations into him that he couldn’t be bothered to shower. Either that or he had half a tub of hair product in this hair. Probably the latter.

  ‘Well I knew I had to get a head start on you’ He winked at Amy giving her a cheeky look. Ignoring him, she ordered her coffee and took herself to the buffet. Coming back to the table, she didn’t bother pretending that she was one of those stick insects. She filled her plate, just as good as any man.

  ‘So, I was thinking’ Sean announced, filling his mouth with some toast ‘We have a few hours to spare before we have to be at the venue. We have a few options’

  Amy was looking forward to seeing what Sean’s idea was of an afternoon of fun. It was sure to be shopping or something along those lines.

  ‘We can’t do everything but…how do you feel like going to the zoo?’

  ‘The zoo?’ Amy’s face wrinkled with confusion.

  ‘Yeah…you know it’s the place where they keep different breeds of animals…also known as a zoo. Very popular with the kids…’

  ‘Are you serious?’ Amy hadn’t been to Dublin Zoo before and had no real interest in going either. But she wasn’t about to say no. Sean had brought her here and she didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

  ‘Yes, I am completely serious. I used to take my nieces every year but since they are now completely grown up hitting the ripe old age of seven and five they refuse to be seen within ten feet of anyone that’s as old as I am’

  ‘Well, in that case, God forbid I dare to amplify such a complex. I would be more than happy to be seen with you’

  They laughed, finished their breakfast and caught the bus to Phoenix Park. Of course, in usual and typical Irish fashion, a fight ensued on entry to the zoo. Who would pay? Sean’s persistence paid off, almost reducing the girl at the ticket desk to tears if she refused one more time to accept his money.

  After two and half hours walking around, they figured it was time to go. Amy had the most wonderful time. She never realised that a zoo could be so much fun. ‘Wow’ she thought to herself. She used the word fun. All day they had laughed, fought or laughed about the fighting. Amy loved watching the monkeys and their silly antics. She looked at wonder and awe at the baby elephants wondering how such big creatures could look so gentle. The reptile house, she wasn’t so keen on. It seemed to her that neither was Sean. He skipped out of there even quicker than she did. When she asked if he was ok, he played dumb. Her absolute favourite were the mere cats. They were the funniest creatures she had ever seen. Her stomach ached she laughed so much.

  At one point, they stopped for a sit down at a man made lake for some ice cream. They didn’t bother with lunch, still stuffed from their breakfast. Sitting in silence, they both sat and watched the day go by. Amy was glad to have Sean as a friend.

  ‘Thank you for a lovely day Sean. I feel so much better and I just wanted to let you know’

  ‘Ame’ he said getting up stretching his legs ‘the day is not over yet. We still have the concert’

  The concert. Amy had almost forgotten about it. The more she thought about it the more she realised that she didn’t want to go. She could hardly say anything. Bringing it up now seemed pointless and when she thought about it, it even sounded silly. ‘I don’t want to go because U2 was his band’. Frank’s. Even though she generally had very little interest in the band, she did share one thing in common with Frank. They had their ‘song’ remembering back in silence. She knew that ‘with or without you’ was probably half the nation’s ‘song’ but she felt it belonged to her and Frank. Maybe they wouldn’t play it. That was rubbish. She knew in her heart and her soul that they were going to. It was one of their most infamous and when in their home town, of course they would. Amy tried to put it out of her mind.

  The Stadium was full to capacity. She had never felt such an atmosphere before. It was crazy. People were clapping and chanting, there were lights flashing and parts of the stage were moving over and back. She had goose bumps the whole time singing to all of their songs surprised she even remembered them. Sean was in his element. He too was having the time of his life, jumping up and down like the rest of the stadium. His t-shirt was stuck to him, showing off his very muscular physique. Amy had no idea what lay under that shirt but she was very sure who ever got to see it was more than happy.

  She could smell him as he brushed against her every now and then. Trying to keep her mind off it, she concentrated on the music. Then she heard it. The beat of the drum she knew so well, the guitar in the background. It hit her so hard she felt like she was punched in the stomach. The words of the song in her head, her heart broke all over again. ‘I wait without you… with or without you’. With everyone else around her swaying over and back she felt faint. Feeling like she was going to fall over and so sad that she didn’t know which way was up or down, she reached for Sean’s arm. Just as she reached for him he turned. Realising that not all was right with her he grabbed her around the waist, swinging her around until he had both arms around her. The crowd still swaying with lighters in their hands, they remained oblivious to the pain radiating beside them.

  Amy didn’t know if it was the music, her sadness o r that she had somebody with her. She just wanted to be held. This was exactly what Sean did. He held her so tight that she was barely able to breathe. She swore she could feel his heart beating, the heat coming from his chest almost burning a hole into her. He rocked over and back. To anyone watching, they would assume that they were a couple. It probably looked like that but Amy didn’t care. Months had gone by and until this very moment, she had not felt so safe. His hand grabbed hers. She held his right back, her eyes shut so tight almost afraid to open them. His head, which was right beside hers now, moved so that their mouths were only millimetres apart. She opened her eyes, his starring back at her. The stadium was suddenly empty and the music played just for them. They stared at each other, still swaying their arms around each other, both afraid to move. The moment was there. She knew he would not go any further without her. Damn it, she didn’t care. She kissed him. So hard and fast, she frightened herself. He didn’t hold back. He wasn’t able, wanting this for longer than he cared to imagine. He went as hard and as fast as she did.

  Confused as she was, she still wanted it. His stubble rubbing against her face hurting her, she raised one of her hands to cup his face. She wanted every bit of him now, all of him. The feelings coming over her were foreign. She had only ever been with one man before. Whatever they were, she banished them from her mind. She was single and free to do as she wished. Her only concern was that she was very likely to be hurt yet again. This was Sean we were talking about here. Galway’s own personal Don Juan. Regardless, she was enjoying every minute of it. When the song finished, another kicking in right after it, Sean pulled away and looked at Amy. He smiled gently saying nothing. His eyes lit up. Knowing that things were now changed between them and not really having any idea what was happening, Amy came to the conclusion that she may as well go along for the ride.

  Making their way back to the hotel after the concert, things were understandably a little on the quiet side. Each afraid to say anything, unwilling to spoil the moment they had. Sean was the first to open up.

  ‘So’ he looked around him as they walked, reluctant to make eye contact, ‘What just happened back there?’

  ‘I believe some people call that kissing!’

  ‘Funny. Seriously Ame, don’t go freaking out on me ok. I don’t want things to go all weird now!’

  ‘Weird’ Amy raised her eyes to the sky ‘Sean things could not get any weirder. The past few months have been like living in the twilight zone. So, sorry to burst that little bubble
you’re living in there’ she pointed towards his head ‘but this, on my scale of weirdness, is ranking pretty ok’

  Sean looked at her with a quizzical brow.

  ‘So we’re ok then’

  ‘Yes we are ok’

  ‘Well that’s sorted then’

  ‘Sorted’

  ‘Great’

  ‘Great’ Amy took hold of his hand. She didn’t care anymore about being hurt. After all, she couldn’t be hurt anymore than she was already. She held no expectations of Sean. He was her friend and all she could do was hope he wouldn’t ruin that.

  They parted ways back at the hotel, each of them going to their respective rooms. Whatever Sean expected with other women would not be happening with Amy. That, she could guarantee him. She could tell by his eyes as he kissed her good night at her door that he wanted Amy to invite him into her room. She couldn’t say she wasn’t tempted. She was very much tempted, but she stood her ground. Sending him packing and promising to meet him for breakfast the following morning, she did the same as the night before, closed the door behind her and rested up against it. What was she thinking? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Sean was one of her oldest friends. He was a sure ride to heartbreak. Did she want to consider it, seeing as her heart was still not sown back together after the damage done by Frank? She couldn’t even keep up with her own thoughts now. Yes, she liked him but did he like her? Did she like him enough to continue what had started? Was she prepared to deal with the consequences if it all went down the toilet? This time, it was not just a fling. If it went bad, she would likely lose a very good friend. She didn’t think she wanted to do that to herself or to Sean.

  Breakfast next morning was a little cooler. Keeping their distance from each other, with shy smiles passing from one to the other, they didn’t want to acknowledge the elephant in the room. There was absolutely no mention of what they were now or where they would go from here. During their meal, one caught the other looking and yet both afraid to recognize what had happened over the weekend. The remainder of the day passed in a similar fashion. The journey to the airport and the journey home filled with chitchat was pleasant but Amy feared that Sean was done with her now. She had no real way of knowing but time would tell. Maybe she should say something. It might be best if she did, then he wouldn’t feel obliged.

  ‘You know how we both said we were great’ she announced out of the blue as they retrieved their bags from the carousel back in Galway.

  ‘Em, yes’

  ‘Well, we are aren’t we?’

  ‘Yeah we are’ Sean looked a bit confused so Amy elaborated.

  ‘Well, just in case we are in any doubt here, you owe me nothing Sean. We are friends and I completely realise that we both work together. So really, when we think about it, this probably wouldn’t ever work anyway’

  Sean looked perplexed but didn’t want to give Amy any reason to get upset so he just listened and nodded.

  ‘I mean, well... Tom. He would have a fit if he knew we were together. He would surely blow a gasket’

  ‘I suppose’ said Sean a little on the quiet side but laughed all the same.

  ‘What I’m trying to say isn’t coming out right’

  Amy wanted him to know that she liked him and that she would like to continue what this was but she feared what she was saying was coming out wrong.

  ‘No, no you are coming in loud and clear Amy’

  ‘I’m not at all. Let me try again. We work together. So, maybe we should just wait and see how things go?’

  ‘Sure, no problem’ Sean’s face was taut and serious. This didn’t go unnoticed to Amy but she had no idea how to unravel the mess she made by opening her big mouth.

  ‘Ok, then’ Amy grabbed her bag after Sean and followed him through the arrival gates. His pace quickened and she was having a little trouble keeping up with him. She had definitely said something wrong.

  4

  Two weeks later, relations remained cooler between the two friends. Amy had been working extra hard most likely making up for the guilt she was feeling. Preparing a presentation for Tom, she was cursing her laptop, cutting and pasting, when her dad called to ask her for dinner the following Sunday. She could do without it, but on second thoughts, it was a bank holiday and what else would she be doing. A day filled with good food and wine would take her mind off everything and by everything, she meant Sean.

  Reconsidering her position a hundred times about her feelings, she realised that at least she had removed, for the time being at least, Frank from prime position. Ever since the weekend in Dublin, things had been somewhat strained. They still talked and joked but nothing else had happened. Amy wasn’t sure if she had put him off or Sean had simply lost interest. Either way ‘the kiss’ was not repeated or even discussed. It was probably better that way. In Amy’s mind, she was an emotional wreck that weekend and was not thinking straight. It was better to leave it where it was, in the past.

  Her parents’ house in Loughrea always helped her find her balance. The beautiful surroundings filled with rose gardens and all sorts of trees had a number of goldfish ponds. As a child, she didn’t remember it being so beautiful. Then again, twenty years ago, all the trees wouldn’t have stretched as far or the rest of the foliage wouldn’t have been as dense.

  It was unfair she figured. Her dad had planted for years and had spent countless hours working his fingers to the bone. Then after all the hard work, he had to wait years for it to reach its full potential. Both of her parents were in their sixties now. This didn’t seem to bother Seamus and Sarah. They were as youthful now as they had ever been. When Amy got married, she had wanted her marriage to be just like her Mum and Dad’s. They were always happy. It wasn’t that they never fought; they did, often in fact. The thing was, it never lasted. They might argue about whose turn it was to go to the shop, the way in which the lawn was cut, why good newspapers were thrown out or who in the name of God removed Seamus’ book from the downstairs loo. Why he even asked was beyond Amy. Only two people lived in the house. Regardless of what they fought about, or who raised their voices, about ten minutes later they would smirk at each other and all was forgotten.

  They still went abroad three times a year and if you stayed in the house inevitably, laughter in the middle of the night would be sure to wake the devil. Seamus would go to the toilet, come back and strike up a full scale conversation with Sarah. They would wake the entire house, even if they had visitors. To most, it looked like they were on their own little planet. Things were definitely happy but it wasn’t always the case. Seamus had prostate cancer three years previous and had nearly died. By some miracle, he survived with frequent chemotherapy. It had taken its toll on the family for quite some time, but thankfully, Seamus was in remission and things were getting back to normal for the family.

  Heading to Loughrea that Sunday, Amy knew the day wouldn’t be without its headaches. Her older brother Derek and indeed younger brother Aidan would go on at length about Frank. Ever since the couple separated, both brothers agreed they would tear the ‘goolies’ off him if they ever laid eyes on him again. Amy knew it was out of love they meant it but it got to her sometimes. If they got any alcohol into them, she knew she was finished. She just wanted to forget about him and hoped that today they wouldn’t bring him up. Him or his appendages!

  Her brothers had always been very protective of her even as a child. They would fight like cats and dogs at home but if anyone so much as looked at the other in school, they would tear the eyes out of their head. Derek was twenty-nine and Aidan, twenty-four. They were the ultimate bachelors. Both worked in construction, Derek a plumber, Aidan an electrician. One was rarely seen without the other. Both loved women but unfortunately for them, women did not return the favour. She knew that their way with words didn’t help but until they both matured somewhat, they could say good luck to finding a half decent long term girlfriend. Very loveable and down to earth, they spent far too much time in pubs and were more interested in
working on their cars than their etiquette and social skills. They were her brothers though and she loved them more than anything.

  ‘Well it’s about time young lady!’ Squealed Amy’s mother with delight as she walked in the door. The wrinkles around her eyes emphasised her smile.

  ‘Sorry Mum, the traffic was horrible. I popped into town to get a coffee cake and some éclairs but couldn’t get parking’

  ‘Never mind sweetheart, you’re here now. You wouldn’t mind setting the table would you? I’m run off my feet. Your bloody father ran off after peeling the potatoes and he hasn’t shown his face since. The other two pups are glued to the telly’

  ‘What’s new?’

  ‘Ah Jasus, me only skin and blister…how’s it going gorgeous?’ Derek exclaimed, hugging Amy on entry into the kitchen.

  ‘Hey Der, how’s it going yourself?’

  ‘Grand, ya know just bumming. Any crack with you? You’re looking well!’

  ‘No, no crack at all. Same crack different day...you know yourself’ she looked up from peeling some carrots.

  ‘Any sign of that other prick?’ Derek raised his eyebrow, grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge.

  ‘No. No sign’ Amy sighed. She knew it was better if they brought him up now. Then she could get the subject out of the way.

  ‘Hmph. I’m not coddin ya but I ever see the prick...’

  ‘Yeah, Derek I know. You’ll take the head off him’

  Amy knew that Derek was not likely to run into Frank any time soon.

  ‘Well, just so you know....it’s good to know you’re alive and well anyway’

  With that, he grabbed some crisps from the cupboard and legged it toward the sitting room with a wink.