Turbulent Desires (Billionaire Aviators Book 2)

by Melody Anne

  She tried remembering what he’d said to her before, but she couldn’t.

  “Can you tell me about it?” she asked, expecting rejection.

  “It’s not pretty, sug. But if you want to know, I will tell you,” he said as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

  “I really think I would like to know.”

  “Let’s get a bit more comfortable.”

  He arranged the cushions against a log, then leaned back into it and pulled her into his arms. His hands were wrapped around her middle as he rested his chin against her shoulder, turning to press a light kiss on her neck. She was surprised that she wasn’t pulling away from him, but right now she felt safer where she was than any other place.

  She waited, knowing he needed to take time if he was about to speak of something traumatic. Everyone needed time when they were opening up.

  If it were daylight with the sun shining down on her, she might think twice about where she was. But it was dark, and she was comfortable, with the buzz of alcohol zinging through her system. She didn’t want to move.

  The dogs were curled up beside them. The moon was a dim glow in the sky, the stars were twinkling down on them, and the warm fire in front of them crackled, making her feel like they were the only two people in the universe.

  So she silently waited. She realized she could wait there all night. If she could freeze this moment, she would. Maverick had broken through her carefully constructed barrier, and she knew that there was no going back. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go forward, either, but maybe the two of them could stay right where they were—frozen in this particular moment.

  Of course that was impossible, but at the moment nothing seemed unreasonable. Nothing seemed real. She was safe. It was all that mattered.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Maverick wasn’t sure if he should share this story with Lindsey. He wanted to help her, but so much of his story was dark and disturbing. He didn’t want to make her more afraid than she already was and he worried that his darkness would be too much, that it would make her shy even farther away from him.

  But he’d already told her he would. He couldn’t back out now or she might lose some of the trust in him that he’d managed to earn. Plus, he felt strongly about her, and he wanted to open up with her. He wanted her to know him better. And like it or not, this was a huge part of who he was. Maybe if he shared, then she would be more willing to do the same.

  Only two people knew the extent of what had happened to him—Cooper and Nick. He would have gladly shared with Ace as well, but his lost brother wasn’t around. Maverick wouldn’t give up on him, though—wouldn’t give up on him coming home someday.

  Taking a deep breath, he began his story.

  “It was a surface-to-air missile that came up and knocked my F-18 out of the sky. My radar officer and I both ejected, but when we hit the ground, they were waiting. They shot Ken in the head right in front of me and laughed. It made their day to hurt wounded soldiers. They considered us the ultimate enemy and they took power in the fact that they thought they could do anything they wanted to us.”

  “Oh my gosh, Maverick, you don’t have to tell me this,” Lindsey said in horror.

  “It’s okay. I’ve come to terms with what happened. If this helps you even the tiniest bit, it’s worth telling you the story of my capture,” he said as he ran a hand down her arm. “I want to be there for you in every way I can.”

  She kept quiet and listened.

  “They tied me up, and beat me so badly that the first night I couldn’t see out of my right eye. I figured my days of flying were over—if I even made it out alive.”

  Lindsey clung tighter to him and it made the story so much easier to tell with her there with him. Maybe she was healing him in a way he hadn’t realized he’d needed healing. He was supposed to be there for her, but she was growing on him in a way that should be a lot more terrifying than it was.

  “The next few days were hell. I heard soldiers screaming in pain, and once in a while I heard the gurgling of men’s dying breaths filled with blood. Those sounds will never leave me.”

  “No, I guess they wouldn’t,” she said so quietly he barely heard the words.

  The fire continued crackling. They were in a cocoon the rest of the world wasn’t allowed to enter. He wouldn’t mind keeping it that way forever. It would just be the two of them.

  “After a few days, I was sure I was going to die. My only regret was that I hadn’t been able to save the other men in the prison. I focused on their pain instead of my own. There were a few female soldiers there, and I can’t even explain the torture they were subjected to. There are rules to war, and these people weren’t following them.”

  He wouldn’t speak of all that had happened in that prison. It was too much for civilians to handle. Hell, it was too much for many of the military crew to handle. That’s why a lot of the soldiers still weren’t doing okay, even after years of being back home. That’s why he’d had to start his organization to help as many as he could. Too many were forgotten about.

  “How many people were there?” she asked.

  “I don’t know how many when I first got there. By the time we were found by a special ops team and rescued, there were ten of us left—nine soldiers and a journalist who ended up succumbing to his injuries before leaving the camp.”

  “Do you keep in contact with them?”

  “The four of us who are left do. Two died later from complications, and the others . . .”

  He stopped speaking because this part of the story might not have been the best idea for him to share.

  “They took their own lives, didn’t they?” she asked.

  “Yeah, it happens too often after people return from war—especially after being captured and tortured.” Anger filled Maverick even thinking about the loss of good men and women. More should be done to protect those who serve—who keep the country safe for everyone.

  “I’m so sorry, Mav. I know I can’t, but I want to take away some of the pain.”

  “I deal with it. Sometimes I still have nightmares. The voices of the men and women screaming—strong soldiers who were weeping like babies . . .” He trailed off, took a breath, and continued. “Certain days make it all come back to the front, such as Veterans Day, Independence Day.”

  “But you stayed in the military after it happened?”

  He couldn’t explain why he felt so determined to stay in the military. A lot of soldiers couldn’t go back—and they weren’t expected to. They had done more than enough for the people of the United States. But after his recovery, there had never been any question that he’d return to duty.

  “Most men and women I’ve talked to feel the same. We love what we do, we love making the country a safer place for everyone. I just think of all the lives that are saved because of what we do. I wouldn’t change that. Does my job come with more risks than a desk job? Well, yeah. But it’s war. And war sucks.”

  “Would you go back to overseas?” He could hear the fear in her voice and it hurt his heart.

  “When I first got back, I would have said yes, for sure. It wasn’t a matter of would I or wouldn’t I. It was a matter of what was right and what’s wrong. I would have done anything that needed to be done.”

  “Is that different now?”

  She seemed to be holding her breath as she asked this question. He realized it was important. So he really thought about his answer. He flexed the arm still in a cast from his recent injury.

  “I’m thinking of leaving the Air Force. I spend more and more time with my organization, and I realize it’s my true calling now. I don’t like to quit anything, but I’m not as young as I used to be, and my priorities have changed.”

  “What does that mean?” she asked him.

  Again he had to think. What did that mean? He wasn’t exactly sure. He just knew that his love of flying was still strong, but maybe it wasn’t the strongest thing anymore. He was different now.

 
Seeming to know he was struggling, she asked another question. “Did you take time off when you returned?”

  “I had no choice. I had a broken bone and was malnourished. But I was ready to get back to work. I haven’t gone back to Iraq since that capture. It was five years ago. But I still fly my jet, and now I work with newbies. Before I joined the Air Force, I was a punk, doing nothing to make a better world for anybody but myself. Even when I joined, I still had attitude.”

  “What changed?” Her hand rubbing along his leg was both a comfort and a distraction. This woman did something to him—took away pain he didn’t even know he still carried. She made him feel whole again. And he didn’t fail to notice that she was touching him without prompting. Already they had come so far together. She wanted to heal.

  “For one thing, attitude doesn’t do you a bit of good during boot camp. Sure, it might piss you off enough to get through the workouts and the sergeants screaming in your face, but it will only get more work added on for you and the rest of the men, which in turn pisses them off. What really changed it for me, though, was respect. I had respect for my commander and he had faith in me. He saw something in me that I hadn’t seen before. It made me believe in myself. And when I found out I could fly F-18s if I worked real hard, that changed it all. I had a goal to work for, and I didn’t stop until I reached that goal.”

  She chuckled. The sound was the most beautiful music he’d heard in a long time. He knew it wasn’t something she shared too often anymore. It made him close his arms a little bit tighter around her.

  “I bet you still haven’t stopped,” she told him.

  “I haven’t even thought about slowing down until recently,” he said against her ear, enjoying it when a shiver traveled through her.

  “It seems that you have a lot of extreme circumstances in life that make you take new routes,” she said. “What changed for you this time?”

  “Some things are best left secret,” he said as he kissed the smooth column of her neck.

  Then he went silent as he held her, letting his story sink in. He just wanted to enjoy this moment, holding her in his arms without her fighting him. She relaxed even more against him and Mav knew his life was changing.

  He couldn’t help but think of his father, of what the old man had wanted for his sons. Money wasn’t an issue for any of the boys—hadn’t been an issue even before the reading of the will. That hadn’t been what his father was trying to get them to understand.

  He now realized that his father had wanted to save them all. He’d wanted them to be better people. For a long time, Mav had thought joining the military had been what made him a better person. Now, he realized that, with his resources, his mission had changed. He could help so many more people by being on the ground than being in the air.

  His new attitude had a lot to do with the woman in his arms. If he could feel so strongly about her—about helping this one person—then couldn’t the two of them together do the same for so many others?

  “Please help me with this fund-raiser,” he said. “I can keep pushing you, and keep forcing myself in, but I want you to want to do it. I want you to be a part of it willingly, and I want to show you a side of me that I don’t show anyone.”

  He knew he was giving too much of himself up, but he couldn’t seem to stop. Mav found his breath stuck in his throat as he waited for her answer. This was a defining moment between the two of them.

  He felt her begin to pull away from him and he wanted to clasp his arms even more tightly around her, but then he would be taking away her free will and he’d just vowed not to do that.

  This was her decision and he would respect her for it—no matter the cost to himself.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Hearing Maverick tell her about his time of being captured tore Lindsey apart inside. As she moved away from him, she knew she didn’t want to feel this bond with him, but she did. She felt a connection to him unlike anything she’d felt with another person.

  She also knew what he was asking her. She knew this fund-raiser had so much more to do with them than it did a single project. Was she willing to take a trip down this road she wasn’t sure of?

  Lindsey found that she wanted to. But at the moment, she felt safe and cozy, having relaxed for the first time in months. She had to wonder, would she still feel the same about wanting to chair the fund-raiser when she was lying alone in her bed later that night? That was the real question.

  It was time to call it a night. She’d sat forward, but her body was cold where she’d been leaning on him, and it felt unnerving, like she should simply lie back and resume her position. She knew, though, that she needed to give it some thought without Maverick being around.

  She answered his question, finally. “I don’t know. I’m not saying no. I just need to think about it,” she told him.

  “I can respect that,” he said, shocking her. He didn’t usually take no for an answer, and uncertainty on her part would be considered a no for Mav.

  Standing, she tried sneaking away while he put out the fire. But she should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. With a very tired Princess at her heels, she didn’t even get ten feet away before Mav was magically at her side.

  “You’re calling it a night early,” he said, the dim lighting along the path to the guest cottage far too intimate after what the two of them had just shared.

  “It’s not early,” she told him with a smile.

  “It’s only . . .” He looked down at his watch. “Oh, I didn’t realize it was nearly midnight. Thank you for staying with me. Thank you for letting me share. I liked it.”

  “Thank you, Mav. I know that must not have been easy for you to do.”

  “It was easier than I thought,” he told her. There was something in his tone she didn’t recognize and it scared her.

  But wasn’t this fear so much better than the terror she’d suffered for so long? Even though letting a man into your heart without knowing where it would lead was dangerous, it was a risk she should be willing to take. The consequences weren’t life or death. Still, she hesitated.

  “I don’t need to be escorted back to the cottage.”

  “I can’t let a beautiful woman go home alone,” he told her before reaching for her hand. She didn’t even bother tugging against his hold this time. He was back to his usual self, his voice full of confidence. The meeker Mav hadn’t lasted long. She realized she enjoyed both sides of this man.

  They were silent the rest of the way to her place, which didn’t take long at all. She stood in front of the door, feeling that first-date sort of awkwardness she’d hoped to never feel again. Of course, she reminded herself, it wasn’t a date.

  This was simply her returning home after eating with her friends. Not that Mav was her friend . . . not exactly. But it almost felt like a date, especially the part where he’d held her so tenderly by the fire and shared so much of himself.

  “I have a meeting tomorrow with some big clients for the fund-raiser. Will you come with me?”

  “Mav . . .” She sighed. He’d promised to give her time.

  “I’m not asking you to commit. I’m just showing you some of what we do and that will help you make an informed decision,” he said, sounding far too innocent.

  She sighed again. The man was infuriating.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go with you,” she said with a frown before she smiled. “Last time we went out together, I ended up with a dog,” she pointed out. “If we go somewhere again, I might find myself with a monkey.”

  That made him laugh, and the rich sound of his natural joy was enough to warm her to the bones and shake off the rest of her melancholy.

  “I promise not to get you attached to any monkeys,” he said as he crossed his fingers over his heart.

  “Where would we be going then?” she asked.

  “I can’t tell you. That would ruin the surprise,” he said as he took a step nearer to her. She leaned back against the door. It wasn’t
locked. All she had to do was turn the knob and step inside. But the command wasn’t connecting with her hand.

  “I’m not big on surprises,” she pointed out.

  “That’s because you haven’t been surprised by me enough,” he said with a waggle of his brows.

  “Hmm.” The buzzing sound on her lips made them tingle as she found her eyes straying up to his. Dang, she wouldn’t mind a kiss good-night. That thought annoyed her. She didn’t want to want his kisses.

  Princess whined at her feet, which snapped Lindsey out of her reverie. She really did need to go inside. Just looking at her sweet new pet made her realize that Mav wasn’t completely off in the things he was doing for her.

  “Even though you strong-armed me, I have to thank you for Princess. I sort of already love her.”

  “She chose you,” he said, leaning just a bit closer. Now he was less than six inches away and she could feel the heat pouring off him. This man’s body temperature only ran on hot.

  “Just don’t be giving me anything else,” she warned.

  “I can’t promise that. I think I like seeing your face light up when you get a gift,” he countered.

  “Well . . . refrain,” she squeaked. If only she sounded more convincing.

  He didn’t say anything else, just closed the remaining distance between them so his body was brushing hers. She couldn’t breathe as she looked into his dark eyes and waited to see what he was going to do.

  Slowly and without pause, he leaned down until his lips were whispering against hers. He brushed them across once . . . twice . . . three times, a light contact of his lips on hers, just enough to make her want to cry out in frustration.

  Then he leaned in closer, his hard chest now pressing lightly against hers as his hand came up and cupped the back of her neck. She should be screaming and running, but she was feeling anything but fear. This man . . . oh, what this man did to her.

  She finally stopped thinking when he pressed his lips firmly against hers and embraced her, his tongue running along the seam of her mouth. She gasped and that was all he needed to slip inside and claim her.