by Cara Albany
Shahid nodded evenly. "Just us. Don't you remember how good it was?"
Aliyah gazed away toward the distant wall that separated the garden from the desert. "Sure I do." She pointed at the tall wall. "Don't you remember how you tried to jump off that wall and onto a horse?"
Shahid scowled and she could see his eyes narrow as he tried to seize hold of the memories. Then his feature lit up and he gave her a broad smile, letting out a guttural laugh. "That damned horse," he exclaimed.
Aliyah laughed. "It didn't stay where it was supposed to and you landed on your rear-end. Luckily there was plenty of sand on the other side of the wall to break your fall."
Shahid reached a hand out and touched his bottom. Aliyah resisted the urge to look there, knowing that if she did, the inevitable change in her expression might betray her.
Shahid smiled. "I suffered for weeks after that," he admitted.
"Served you right," she said in a taunting tone of voice.
"What do you mean?" he said gazing at her disbelievingly.
"You always were trying to show off."
"What's so bad about that?" he said an edge of pride in his voice.
"Nothing, I suppose," she replied. "It's just that you seemed to do it every time I was around."
Shahid's brows furrowed, but there was still good humor flickering in his eyes. "What are you trying to say, Aliyah?"
"Nothing. It's just something Nadyah told me."
Shahid looked suddenly scandalized. "You and my sister have been talking about me behind my back?"
"We always did, Shahid," she explained. "Even when we were younger. Nadyah always likes making fun of you."
"And today?" he asked, and she realized she might have gone too far this time. Was she trying to lead him on?
She paused and then said: "Nadyah mentioned you might come over."
"Did she say why?" he asked.
Aliyah simply shook her head, adding nothing.
Shahid paused and she halted, facing him. She saw his eyes narrow and there was a sudden intense look in them that she knew without a doubt he was going to say something they both might regret.
"It's the truth. I came here to see you, Aliyah," he declared in an easy tone as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. There was a calm assurance in his voice and she wondered if he had practised saying those words.
Aliyah turned her face away from him, eager that he shouldn't see how that simple statement had affected her. Because, the truth was, those words had triggered something in her and she was determined he wouldn't see the instant effect they'd had on her. He'd always had a way of catching her off guard and now was no exception.
For a moment everything was very quite and then, gradually the sounds of the world around her eased back into her attention.
She could hear the birds singing, hear her heart thumping, hear the gentle tumbling sound of the nearby waterfall.
Aliyah felt her pulse racing. Her mind was a whirl of confusing thoughts and she struggled to find just the right thing to say. Why were the words so difficult to pin down, she asked herself.
Finally, she turned back to face Shahid and saw that he was waiting expectantly for her response.
She tried to smile at him, shake off the statement he'd made, trying to make it appear like like just one more silly thing he might say to her. Just like so many things he'd said to her all those years ago.
But, one look at his face told her there was no use even trying that. There was determination and purpose in that look. His gaze held a familiar intensity that Aliyah knew all too well. Nevertheless she gave it her best shot.
"Now why would you want to see me, Shahid? I'd have thought you'd have better things to do. I know you're always busy. At least you have been these past few weeks," she said smiling at him. She realized the last words might have sounded like a criticism of the fact that he hadn't contacted her since the wedding. His expression didn't alter one bit. He didn't take the bait and she could see a hint of even stronger determination behind those eyes.
"Because I need to ask you a very important question," Shahid declared.
Aliyah felt butterflies tumble in her middle and her throat tightened. Shahid stepped closer and she knew that if he wanted he could reach out and touch her. But he didn't. She reached down, holding onto the fabric of her dress, realizing with a start that she had twisted the material in her tense fist.
Aliyah gazed up into Shahid's eyes. "What question is that, Shahid?" she managed to utter, hearing her voice crack with emotion.
His gaze drifted down the length of her body and it was as if he was mentally undressing her. In spite of every attempt at appearing unfazed, Aliyah felt her body tingle as his gaze ran the length of her.
He moved even closer and she caught a hint of his scent, the same intoxicating aroma which had almost overpowered her weeks before. There was something elemental about that scent.
"I think you already know, Aliyah," he said. His voice had dropped to a low growl.
"I'm not sure I do," she said knowing that it was a lie. Of course she knew what he was trying to communicate to her. It was the same thing he'd whispered into her ear as he'd held her close. The same words which had sent her running from him in panic that evening.
She looked at him and saw a sudden flash of uncertainty on his features. Was he backing off?
Then he leaned closer and rested his hand on her arm. She felt electricity trace a line up her arm. The feel of the rough skin of his fingers on the softness of her bare arm was exquisite. He didn't curl his fingers around her arm, but merely rested his flesh on hers. She glanced at him and saw him draw in a deep breath.
Shahid glanced down and spoke quietly. "It's about what happened at the wedding," he murmured not looking straight at her as he spoke. Then he lifted his gaze and narrowed his eyes. "I need to know what you're thinking." He drew in a deep breath and his nostrils flared. He leaned his head closer and lowered his voice. "What you've been feeling about what happened."
Aliyah nodded. What did he expect her to say? Was she supposed to just tell him that she'd hardly been able to think of anything else for weeks? Was he expecting some kind of confession from her, that she hadn't slept properly since?
Because it was true, wasn't it? Shahid had been on her mind virtually every moment since he'd started to murmur his golden words into her ear; since he'd almost said something to Aliyah that she'd known would turn both their worlds upside down.
Aliyah sighed and turned her head away from Shahid. When she felt his hand on her chin, and the gentle pressure as he delicately turned her face back to him, she knew that she wasn't going to be able to avoid giving him an answer. Even if it wasn't the one for which he'd come.
She looked at him, a hint of defiance surging inside her. "What did happen, Shahid?"
His mouth curled into a sardonic grin. "You know as well as I do, Aliyah."
She sucked in a calming breath. "I'm not sure I do," she managed to say.
His brows furrowed, but still he persevered. "Don't you remember what I said?"
"Of course I do," she managed to say. Aliyah thrust the memory of his whispered words away. There was no use denying the power of what he'd said to her. She could still hear his voice as he'd started to tell her how much she meant to him, how much she'd always meant to him and what he would like to do with her.
Do to her.
She swallowed as she recalled his words. No-one had ever said such things to Aliyah. Her response had been instinctive, born of years of denying herself the pleasures of any meaningful relationship with a man. That had been why she had thrown herself into the lives of others, why she had devoted herself to family life, why she had made the needs of others more important than her own. It had been a wall she had built between herself and the world.
But Shahid had broken down that barrier, and she realized he'd been breaking down the wall gradually and inexorably for a very time.
Aliyah gazed tenderly at Shahid. "
Of course I remember, Shahid. How could I forget?"
She saw hope flicker in his gaze, a sudden encouragement. He raised one inquiring brow, prompting her to continue.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
His hand slid up her arm and rested on her shoulder. Any moment now he would draw her close. She knew it with absolute certainty. She could see it in his eyes.
"Just tell me you feel the same way I do," he growled.
She looked at him. "And just how do you feel?" she asked.
He ran his tongue along his lower lip, triggering a flush of heat in her middle. For a moment he seemed to struggle to gather his thoughts. Then he gazed at her.
"You know I meant what I said." He leaned closer and she felt his sweet breath on her skin. His mouth was inches from hers. "Every word," he added softly.
Aliyah dragged her gaze away from him, away from his tempting lips, away from his dark eyes. She knew that if she allowed herself to fall into that deep pool that promised so much, she would never be able to rescue herself. She couldn't allow that to happen.
She raised her gaze up to him, intent on telling him that there was no point in continuing with this madness; that the only sensible thing to do was to carry on being best friends. But, before she could even utter the words she hoped would keep him at bay, Shahid's head dipped and his mouth was on hers, devouring her, claiming her.
Sensation rippled throughout Aliyah's body and she gasped, feeling his lips crushed against hers. His arms enclosed her and he pulled her body toward him. She felt the hardness of his body press against her, and she suddenly felt small, wrapped in his tender embrace.
Aliyah could taste his sweetness as his tongue began to tentatively probe her mouth. Every movement of his tongue sent a shiver of delight coursing through her.
She snaked her fingers up through his thick hair and she sensed a strong reaction in him, his kiss becoming even more hungry, even more urgent.
For a moment she allowed herself to be lost, abandoning herself to this moment about which she had fantasized so much. Hadn't she been waiting for this moment for most of her adult life? Right now, there was nowhere else she would rather be than to be held in Shahid's arms. He continued to kiss her and she sailed on a sea of ecstasy.
Then, as suddenly as she had abandoned herself to him, there came a stab of emotion, something like a warning, as if her hard won sense of reality had seized hold of her. The urgency of it took her completely by surprise.
What was she doing? Was she mad? Had she taken leave of her senses? This was Shahid, the man she had grown up knowing as a mere friend, the man she had seen mature into someone entirely unapproachable. Someone not for her. Someone she had told herself a thousand times could never be for her. Hadn't she?
Aliyah slid her hand down to Shahid's chest, feeling the matted hair, sensing the quick pounding heart within that broad expanse. She felt his body tense imperceptibly, and then with a gentle push she pulled her lips from his.
Aliyah glanced up at Shahid and saw the remnants of his passion fade to be replaced by consternation. His brows furrowed and he looked almost shocked that she had done anything to reject him.
He released her and she turned away from him. Emotion still pulsed through her body even as she stood with her back to him, and she was glad for the moment of respite, a chance to gather her thoughts. She had to tell him this was impossible, that there was no future for them together. Didn't she?
But, right now, she had no idea how he would take it. She feared that if she said such a thing their friendship would be ruined forever. And she didn't want that to happen.
Aliyah drew in a deep breath and turned back to Shahid. She saw that he'd gathered his composure, although he still shifted awkwardly as he looked at her. Could he tell that she was about to put an end to this impossible madness?
Aliyah clasped her hands, trying desperately to calm herself. "Shahid. I know we've always been the best of friends. And that's been such an important thing for me. You know that, don't you?"
Shahid nodded. "It's been important for me too, Aliyah," he replied evenly.
She smiled at him. Maybe this was going to be easier than she'd thought.
Aliyah moved closer to Shahid and took his hand in hers. "I'm glad we agree," she said.
She saw his brows furrow. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"That we should just continue to be friends. It's for the best. Don't you think?"
Shahid drew in a deep breath and sighed. His eyes fixed upon her and there was a sudden seriousness in their expression. What he said next shocked her.
"No. I don't agree, Aliyah. Not one bit," he declared.
She felt the resolve of moments ago drain away. Her legs felt suddenly weak. Shahid looked so determined all of a sudden. She could see the defiance in his eyes. What was he saying?
"You don't?" she managed to force herself to say.
Shahid shook his head and moved closer. "I don't think you want that," he murmured. "And that's not what I want. It's too late for that, now."
Aliyah felt her lower lip soften, and she was sure she looked startled. Shahid seemed more confident now, as if relieved that he'd finally said what he had to say.
Shahid took hold of her arm. "You know how I feel about you Aliyah," he said evenly. "How can you doubt that, after what just happened."
"It was just a kiss, Shahid," she said tentatively, not believing that for one moment.
Shahid shook his head. "It wasn't just a kiss, Aliyah. And you know it."
Aliyah considered moving away, but his touch was so tender, so welcome, and his eyes were filled with such warmth, such sincerity that she couldn't bear the thought of destroying the intimacy of this moment. He was right. That had been more than a kiss. It had been a declaration of intent.
Aliyah sighed gently and glanced up at Shahid. "What exactly are you saying Shahid?"
The question struck her as ludicrous, even as she uttered the words. Of course, she knew what he was asking her. She just needed to hear it from his own lips.
"I'm saying I want us to become closer than just friends, Aliyah. And I think you want that too. Am I right?"
It seemed so simple when he put it like that. It was almost the most natural thing in the world for him to tell her that he wanted her and that he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she wanted him. Had it been so obvious all along? Had others noticed the attraction between Aliyah and Shahid? Of course they had. That had been why Nadyah had arranged this whole thing today.
Still, though, there was a nagging uncertainty, the sharp tug of doubt that pulled at Aliyah's insides. It was the same feeling she'd had when she'd been wrapped in his arms moments before. The feeling was much more than uncertainty. It felt like anxiety. Could she possibly submit to this wondrous temptation? Wasn't it all moving too fast?
And then there was the issue of the wedding which would take place in a matter of days. If she and Shahid did announce they were an item, surely that would undermine everything Aliyah had stood for all these years. The most important thing right now was the happiness of Azim and Lucy. Nothing could be allowed to interfere with that.
"This isn't the right time, Shahid. Not for something like this," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"This is Azim and Lucy's time. We can't do anything to interfere with their happiness. It's just not right."
Shahid leaned closer. "Sometimes you have to be selfish, Aliyah. Sometimes you have to think of yourself."
Aliyah shook her head. "No. It's not right."
"We're not right together?" he asked, sudden concern on his face.
Aliyah lifted a hand to his chin, feeling the stubble against her fingers. She smiled warmly at him and saw him smile right back at her. "That's not what I meant, Shahid. Of course, I understand what we've shared. I know how you feel about me. You've made that pretty clear."
He kissed her again, this time gently, as if sensing that the conversation wasn't ove
r.
"We can't allow anything to get in the way of Azim and Lucy's big day. I think you'll agree," she said.
Shahid nodded. "I know what you mean. Even if I don't necessarily like it."
Aliyah turned away from Shahid trying to figure out what they could do. It was clear that if she and Shahid made any kind of announcement that they were closer now, it would throw all the focus away from Azim and Lucy. Every part of Aliyah screamed at her that she shouldn't allow that to happen. It went against everything she had stood for these past few years.
"I have an idea, Shahid," she announced.
His eyes narrowed with visible curiosity. "I'm listening," he said.
"I'm sure we can put on a brave face until after the wedding, and then we can see what happens," she said.
"Are you suggesting we pretend this never happened?" he asked.
"Just until after the wedding. And then we can see where we are. If things are still good between us then we can let everyone know."
"I think they've already guessed," he suggested.
"It still wouldn't be fair on Lucy and Azim, though."
Shahid sighed and smiled at Aliyah. "It's true what they say about you," he said.
"What's that," she asked.
"With you, it's all about other people. Never about yourself."
Aliyah squinted at Shahid. "Maybe not for much longer, Shahid," she replied.
Shahid moved closer. "Don't you think it's time you thought about your own needs?"
Aliyah knew he was right, but she knew she daren't even go there. Not yet, at least.
"So, you agree?" she asked.
Shahid sighed. "You're proposing we pretend we're just good friends?"
"It shouldn't be too hard, should it?" Aliyah asked.
Even as she said the words she knew that it was going to be almost impossible; knew that to be in such close proximity to Shahid for the next few days and convince anyone who was watching that there was absolutely nothing between her and Shahid was going to take every ounce of strength she had.
She saw Shahid consider her proposal for a few moments. She could see how hard he was working to come to terms with the idea of being around Aliyah and not being able to act on his feelings.