Heartfelt

by Danielle Allen

  “I just emailed an electronic reference letter to Meredith so I hope you’re happy,” Monroe complained. Her muffled voice ricocheted through the elevator.

  Using the back of my hand to wipe the sweat off of my face, I huffed out another mouthful of air. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  “How did she convince you? Did she threaten you? Coerce you in any way? I’ve learned the hard way that one can’t be trusted.”

  Yes, I wanted to say. Yes she did.

  But I knew I couldn’t. If I did, Monroe would recant everything she said in the letters and Meredith would have a new reason to come after me.

  Or worse, she’ll team up with Ashton and they will tag team this stalker shit they’ve perfected.

  “I don’t want to talk about it Monroe. Let’s just leave it all in the past.”

  “There has been a lot of interest in renting your space. Thank you for letting me publicize that it was once yours.”

  “I’m glad it helped.” The elevator announced its arrival to my floor and I stepped out. “I just got home from a run, but it’s good to hear that the letter has been sent. Now hopefully that’ll be the last time either of us will have to deal with Meredith.”

  “Let us pray.”

  “Okay, Monroe. You take care.”

  “If you want to do another Richmond showcase…”

  I chuckled to myself. “I’ll be in touch.”

  Disconnecting the call, I opened the apartment door. “B!”

  As soon as her nickname rolled off of my tongue, my phone vibrated in my hand.

  Bianca Baker: Got a call from Nina to come in immediately for a meeting. Wish I could’ve seen you all wet and sweaty from your run. I love you. Maybe we can actually do lunch today.

  She left already? Shit!

  Scrubbing my face with my hand, I started pacing.

  If she’s already at Pho and Nina is there, she should be safe until I get there. If she’s still walking, I’m going to just run and catch up with her. I don’t want her walking alone. Not after those pictures.

  I gripped my phone in my hand tightly.

  But what can I say that won’t come off as suspicious? She’s going to know something is up. She always knows something is up.

  Roman Harper: Well take a picture of yourself so I’ll be prepared when I see you. I don’t want another potential lunch date ruined because I can’t keep my hands off of you.

  Bianca Baker: So you’re admitting it’s your fault?

  Roman Harper: No, it’s definitely your fault. You are sexy as hell. And that dress…

  Bianca Baker: Okay I’m walking up to Pho now. Sending the picture.

  The picture of Bianca filled my screen and I smiled, feeling my entire body relax. She was right outside the front door of Pho Gallery. With her arm stretched away from her, I was treated to a photo that captured her wild, dark brown curls to the curve of her breast. She was biting her lip and closing her eyes so tightly that her nose crinkled.

  Letting out a little chuckle, I texted her back.

  Roman Harper: Was that your sexy face?

  Bianca Baker: Obviously.

  Roman Harper: You got that look straight out of a porno.

  Bianca Baker: And?

  Bianca Baker: You weren’t complaining last night!

  Roman Harper: I know all of your faces and you don’t make that face. But if you’d like me to come to Pho to experiment, I will. I could bend you over that desk of yours and see if I can find some way to make you make that face.

  The next picture I received was of Bianca with her mouth open slightly and her face flushed. The position of her phone and the wall in the background let me know that she was at her desk. My blood was pumping hard and fast and I couldn’t be sure if it was my body not yet adjusting from the run or from seeing her beautiful face. I loved that I could still catch her off guard. And just imagining her sitting at her desk thinking about my words did something to me.

  Bianca Baker: I’m not going to respond to you anymore because you’re making me wet and I’m AT WORK!

  Roman Harper: Then maybe you shouldn’t send me sexy pictures anymore!

  Bianca Baker: I can’t stand you!!!!!

  With a laugh, I tossed my phone on the bed on my way to the shower. As the hot water beat against my skin, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Living with her hadn’t satisfied the craving I had for her. It wasn’t just her body that I couldn’t get enough of, it was her mind, her talent, her humor.

  I got out of the shower and pulled on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Going to the home studio, I picked up my duffle bag from the closet. I double checked that my paint clothes were inside. Shifting things around so I could make room, I stuffed the entire box that was mailed to me inside. It took everything in me not to get mad all over again.

  Someone had the motherfucking audacity to threaten—no, I’m not going to get myself pissed off right now. I need to meet with Nina and see if she knows who this asshole is and then I’m going to handle it from there.

  I’d been telling myself that for the last ten hours. After putting Bianca to bed, I couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was the note and those pictures. I tried to go into the studio at three in the morning to look for clues, but as soon as I got out of bed, Bianca woke up. I thought if I went for a run early, she would still be asleep and I could continue my search, but that didn’t work out either.

  Shaking my head at the memory, I zipped up my black leather jacket. I slung the duffle bag over my shoulder and then locked the apartment behind me.

  The temperature had dropped and it wasn’t just chilly anymore. It was cold. I didn’t need gloves, but it was cold enough that I moved a little faster to Pho Gallery just to get out of it.

  “You’re a little early for lunch!” Bianca greeted me, beaming.

  She stood up and sauntered over to me.

  She has to do this on purpose, I concluded as I licked my lips.

  Wearing a black dress, black tights and a grey sweater, she looked sexy as hell.

  I wrapped my arms around her, burying my frozen nose into her coconut and vanilla scented hair.

  “Maybe you’re right. It is my fault. It doesn’t matter what you wear, you’re always going to have this effect on me,” I whispered into her ear causing her to giggle. “Your desk isn’t safe.”

  Her throaty laugh was so loud that it echoed throughout the empty gallery. I just stared at her, awestruck. Even the unpretentious way she laughed with her entire body was perfection.

  “Will you pose for me?”

  She wiggled out of my arms. “Is this some kind of scam to try to get me in bed? Because if so, I’m in.”

  I laughed and followed her to her desk. “I’m serious. I want you to pose for me. You inspire me.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at me before turning all the way around. The expressiveness of her face always gave away her feelings before she said them.

  “I’m scared,” she blurted out, taking me by surprise.

  Okay, that was not the emotion I thought she was going to go with.

  “Of me?”

  She nodded and then after she sat in her desk chair, she shook her head. “No, not of you, per se.” She paused. “Of us.”

  I took off my duffle bag and dropped it on the floor. Sitting down across from her, I nodded. I knew exactly what she meant.

  “I’m sorry. It’s not the time or the place. I don’t want to get into this big emotional conversation with you and then Nina walk in and—”

  Panic swept through me in one swoop. “Nina’s not here? You’re here alone?”

  “Yes…” She stretched the word out slowly. “I’m here alone a lot with Nina’s prenatal appointments.”

  “You shouldn’t be here alone.”

  “Why?” Bianca narrowed her eyes warily.

  “Because of the messages, that’s why.”

  “I haven’t gotten anything creepy since we sent the emails to Ashton and Meredith. It
had to have been one of them. Is that why you’re here?”

  “No, I’m here to talk to you and then to Nina.”

  “Wait, what? You’re meeting with Nina?”

  I nodded. “Well, I’m meeting with you first and then I’m meeting with Nina. Are you expecting her back soon?”

  “She just left. She went to deposit something at the bank. She’ll be back in twenty minutes though. What’s going on?”

  “Charlotte told me that Nina tapped me to do an end of the year event,” I divulged carefully, gauging Bianca’s reaction.

  “The event I told you about last night?”

  “Yes.” I cleared my throat. “I’m the artist she is waiting to hear back from and I’m going to decline the offer.”

  Bianca’s eyes bulged. “What?”

  I couldn’t read her expression, but I knew she was not happy.

  “I’m the—”

  “No, I heard what you said. I’m just trying to figure out a situation where you could sit down and listen to me spill my guts about this opportunity and not once tell me that you’re the artist she’s trying to use. You don’t think that’s messed up?”

  No, not really, to be completely honest. This is business, I thought to myself, but fortunately had sense enough not to say.

  “Charlotte generally handles my showcases and opportunities like that, especially if I’m declining. It’s Charlotte’s job to handle situations like this. But because of you, I’m here as a professional courtesy. I asked Charlotte to give me a chance to talk to you before following up with Nina.”

  Bianca shook her head. “What the fuck, Roman? What happened to no secrets?”

  “I’m sorry, but this is different,” I replied defensively. “I wanted to talk to you at work because this is a work issue. When you told me about the opportunity last night, I was your boyfriend listening to my girlfriend. Right now, in this moment, I’m an artist talking to a curator about why the contract isn’t in my best interest.”

  Leaning forward, her eyes narrowing, she hissed, “I know how to be professional and separate the two, Roman.”

  “I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just saying that I wanted to make sure that I could.”

  “I’m not talking about you deciding not to tell me if you’ve been commissioned to paint a picture of the President because you’ve been sworn to secrecy or some shit like that. I’m talking about anything that affects us. And this affects us.”

  We just stared at each other from opposite sides of the desk, neither of us saying a word. We were just breathing harshly at one another, daring the other to speak. Even though I understood why she was mad, I felt justified in my actions...until I truly looked into her eyes.

  The tell-tale little crease in between her eyebrows from her glaring at me was because she was pissed. Her full lips were pursed tightly and her chest rose and fell quickly. There was no denying her anger, but in her eyes, I could see that there was more to it. And that look knocked the wind out of me.

  “I’m sorry. I am. I don’t want you to feel like I’m keeping things from you. But…” I stopped talking when she closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

  “Again, what does ‘no secrets’ mean to you? Please. Enlighten me.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she waited.

  We were both quiet for a couple of minutes and then she continued, “I knew in my gut that you were hiding something from me. It’s supposed to be me and you against the world.” She shook her head sadly. “But with every secret you keep from me, you take away my right to make an informed decision. Every secret you keep from me, keeps us from being as close as we possibly can.”

  I couldn’t even tell her that it was the last secret between us because it wasn’t. And I wasn’t ready to tell her about the pictures. Not until I got answers from Nina. I was just trying to protect her, but I was making a mess of things. I felt like shit.

  “Would it have changed anything if I would’ve told you last night?” I asked quietly.

  “Yes.” Her eyes glistened. “Because I would’ve first asked you what commission rate she was charging you. I heard her on the phone saying that she was thinking about raising her commission rates and was going to test out the new price point with her end of the year show. Second, I wouldn’t have made a big deal out of the event because obviously, she asked me to do the show again because she wanted to feature you. That’s not a display of my talent and worth. That’s utilizing my connections. And third, but most importantly, I would’ve felt like you trusted me one hundred percent.”

  I could see the anger and pain on her face and it hit me. Yes, she was upset that I didn’t tell her sooner, but she was also pissed that Nina went behind her back.

  And I didn’t even tell her how Nina dropped her name to Charlotte.

  Feeling as though I had a better understanding of why she was upset and feeling more than a little relieved that it wasn’t completely my fault, I stood up. “Come here,” I commanded as I made my way around her desk.

  She stood up, but she didn’t move.

  I pulled her into a hug and held her tightly. After a moment of hesitation, she wrapped her arms around me and let her body melt into mine.

  “I’m sorry I keep secrets,” I whispered against her ear. “I don’t want to hurt you. Anything I don’t tell you, which isn’t much, is to protect you. Last night, you were so happy. I wanted to let you be happy. I knew I was going to tell you today, but I didn’t want to break that smile you had last night.”

  She looked up at me and I could see that she was thinking about what I said because her face gave everything away. With a sigh, I saw the fight leave her eyes.

  “And I’m sorry about Nina. You deserve to be treated like the talent that you are. You’re good, B. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.”

  Burying her head in my chest, she let out a puff of air. “I’m still mad at you.”

  Dropping kisses to the top of her head, I squeezed her tighter. “I know. I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

  A minute or so passed before she squirmed out of my arms. “I’m still mad at you because you have all of me. I love you with everything. I trust you with everything. It scares me how strongly I feel for you.” She put about a foot of space between us. “Secrets destroy relationships and I don’t want anything to come between us.”

  A sharp pain pierced my chest and had a ripple effect throughout my body. Putting the heel of my hand into the spot over my heart, I tried to keep my face as expressionless as possible. But I saw myself in her eyes.

  I have to tell her. I have to.

  “What is it?” Bianca questioned, chewing the corner of her mouth.

  My heart rattled in my chest. I opened my mouth to tell her the truth, the whole truth, when Nina burst into the gallery noisily.

  “Bianca will you help—Oh! Roman! Will you help me with this?” Nina called from the doorway. “It was sitting in front of the door.”

  Bianca gave me one last look before redirecting her gaze to the front door. “Nina, the doctor said you shouldn’t be moving anything heavy.”

  Taking a shaky breath, I turned around and jogged to the door. “Hi Nina. I’ll get it.” Picking up the box that weighed at least fifty pounds, I carried it to a storage room on the other side of Bianca’s desk.

  “It’s a pleasant surprise to see you here.” She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and smiled. “Glad you were around to grab this box.”

  “Yes.” I nodded. “Can I speak with you for a minute?”

  Her eyes jerked to Bianca and then back to me. I saw the flicker of worry in her eyes and her smile waned a bit. “Of course.” She turned her head toward Bianca. “Open this box and if it is the sculpture from Lu Lu, please get her on the phone.”

  As if on cue, the phone rang. Bianca left the room to answer it and I followed Nina into her office, scooping up my duffle bag in the process.

  “Roman Harper.” Nina said my name slowly, enunciating each syllable. “To what do I
owe this surprise? I hope you are here to accept my offer in person.”

  “I am actually not here about that at all.” Opening my bag, I pulled out the box with the manila envelope inside. Peering into the envelope, I pulled out the one picture of Bianca and Nina. “I wanted to talk to you about this.”

  I watched her as she studied the picture with a critical eye. She was looking at it like it was a piece of art and not a stalker’s memento. “When was…oh!” She looked at me curiously. “This was last week.”

  “Do you know the person who took this picture?”

  “No, not really.” She shrugged nonchalantly.

  The hair on the back of my neck started to stand on end. I let out a rough breath.

  “What do you mean by ‘not really’?”

  “I can’t remember his name, but I met him randomly and then we kept bumping into each other. He had even come to the gallery once or twice. I think he either works or lives around here. Why? What’s going on?”

  So the asshole is a man. Unless Meredith hired someone to do her dirty work, it’s not Meredith. Dammit, I knew it was Ashton. I should’ve beaten his ass when I had the chance.

  The hand that wasn’t pointing at the picture balled into a fist even though I tried to control the feelings that burned through me.

  He’s come to the gallery once or twice. This asshole has been following my girl around and he’s been in here before?

  “You’ve seen him in the gallery?”

  “Well, I’ve only seen him once, but he said he’d been here before the day I saw him.” Her eyes darted around the room. “Roman, you’re making me uncomfortable. What is going on? What is this picture?”

  Putting the picture back into the envelope, I considered my next statement carefully. I didn’t want to give away too much yet. But I didn’t know how serious the situation could be.

  Forcing a smile, I shrugged. “I’m not sure. But if it is who I think it is, he rubs me the wrong way. I don’t know how else to explain it, but watch your back around him. Just to be safe.” I stood up, slinging my duffle bag over my shoulder.