Heartfelt

by Danielle Allen

  Locating a couple of people who were wearing street clothes, but were beyond the line, I waited until the first officer I encountered was distracted to make my move.

  “Excuse me. Hi—”

  The female officer crossed her arms and snarled, “Are you supposed to be here?”

  “I just need to know the whereabouts of Bianca Baker. She doesn’t have a cell phone and she works in the building that you’re going in and out of.”

  The male officer put his hand on her arm. “Who are you looking for?”

  “Bianca Baker.”

  He pulled out a walkie-talkie and shouted out some random numbers and then asked about the whereabouts of the women from inside the gallery.

  The static answer gave me hope when I overheard two women were on site.

  “Check on the other side of the block.” He nodded his head in the opposite direction. “You’ll have to go back down and cross in the intersection and then make your way to the other side of the block.”

  “Thank you.” I nodded as I turned on my heel and took off running. As my feet hit the pavement, I didn’t think about anything but getting to Bianca. Every time a new wave of worry coursed through my system, I pumped my legs faster. Tossing out apologies as I bumped people spectating, I made my way around the block.

  I looked around and I didn’t see her. One of the police cars that were parked in front of the building pulled off and that’s when I saw her.

  “Bianca!” I called out, running across the street.

  She pointed and said something to the officer nearest her. He nodded and she ran as fast as she could in her heels. When she got close to me, I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms. Picking her up, I kissed her long and hard. I kissed her the way I should’ve kissed her before she got out of the taxi. Setting her on her feet, I held her tightly. Burying my face into her hair, I inhaled her coconut oil and vanilla scent.

  “I was so worried when I couldn’t get in touch with you,” I whispered, unable to let her go. But when I relaxed my grip on her, I realized she was shuddering. “Are you okay?”

  Pulling away from her slightly, I looked down and into her eyes. I noticed how wet they were. And although she wasn’t crying, she looked like she had been or was about to be. Removing one arm from around her waist, I stroked her face with my fingertips.

  “What’s wrong B?”

  “You talked to Elizabeth.”

  Swallowing around the tightness in my throat, I looked at her. My heart thudded nosily in my chest cavity. “Yes,” I confirmed slowly. “Why?”

  Bianca chewed on the corner of her mouth and I watched her face crumble. “I guess Benjamin didn’t expect that. Or he didn’t expect Elizabeth to call him.” She closed her eyes and leaned into my hand as it cradled her face. “So he came in and threatened us.”

  All of the air left my lungs. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. “He did what?”

  “He came in and said you turned Elizabeth against him. He was saying a whole lot of other stuff that I didn’t understand. Ranting and raving and crying.” She swallowed repeatedly as if she were swallowing her fear. “He said he was going to kill me.”

  Everything stopped. “He said what?” I couldn’t hear anything over the sound of my blood rushing through my veins. “He said he was going to…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

  Bianca nodded. “They said he didn’t have a weapon on him, though.”

  If he thinks he’s getting away with this, he is mistaken. Because I’m going to beat his ass. This motherfucker is not going to know what hit him.

  “Where is he now?” I uttered through clenched teeth. I started looking around for him, my body primed for a fight.

  Bianca put her hand on my chest. “The police have him in custody. Nina was in the office with her door closed talking to her doctor and when she heard him yelling, she called the police.”

  He better thank God that he was caught by the police first.

  I closed my eyes and let out a rough breath.

  He came into my girl’s job and threatened her life.

  I let out a loud growl that erupted out of me unexpectedly.

  Bianca’s eyes were wide as she studied me. “I’m sorry, B. I’m so sorry that my life…” I felt myself choking up. Clearing my throat, I started again. “My past is so fucked up and I’m sorry that it’s messed things up between us from the beginning. You don’t deserve that. You deserve the world and I keep…You shouldn’t have to deal with any of the bullshit I’ve put you through. I’m sorry.”

  Wrapping her arms around me, Bianca looked at me in that raw and emotional way that used to scare me.

  Now I don’t know what I would do without it.

  “Roman, I love you. Nothing else matters.” She wiped her eyes. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. Benjamin is crazy. And he looked high.”

  My eyes burned and I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if anything had happened to you. You mean everything to me, B.”

  With her fingers gently stroking my face, she pushed her lips up into mine. Our kiss was soft and sweet, like her lips. As we stood on the corner of the sidewalk, I realized that my mistake wasn’t that I asked Bianca to marry me. My mistake was the way I asked her to marry me. Because I knew without a shadow of a doubt, she was the one. I knew my life would never be fulfilled without her in it.

  “Ms. Baker,” a police officer interrupted firmly. “We have a few more questions. Is this who you mentioned before? The suspect’s brother?”

  Bianca nodded. “Yes.”

  “Okay, you can both come with me.”

  ----------

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “I feel guilty,” Elizabeth said as I escorted her to the elevator.

  “Why? You didn’t do anything wrong,” I assured her. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall.

  “Because I didn’t post his bail yesterday.”

  “You made the choice not to post his bail, just like he made the choice to stalk, steal, vandalize and terrorize me and my girlfriend.”

  “Yes, but still. I feel guilty. You know that after we spoke on Wednesday, I called Benjamin. My intention was to leave a message for him to call me back. When he picked up, I was just so frustrated with him. He wasn’t in rehab, he wasn’t honoring his father, and most importantly, what he did to you and Bianca. That’s despicable. I couldn’t help it. I just started fussing at him and I couldn’t stop.” She tossed her hands up in the air and then covered her mouth with her hand. “I sound just like my mother.”

  I smirked. “I’m sure she’d love to hear you say that.”

  She laughed. “I’m sure she would too!”

  We were both quiet for a minute, relishing in the easy banter between us.

  Her sad sigh sobered me back up. “You aren’t to blame for Benjamin’s behavior,” I told her seriously.

  Elizabeth gave me a smile, her eyes bleary. “I wound him up. I should’ve known he’d do something senseless and irrational since he hadn’t gotten treatment for his alcohol abuse.”

  “My presence winds him up for whatever reason. Don’t blame yourself. This was all him. He’s been a problem for years.”

  “But to threaten to kill?” She shook her head. “He needs help. William was better at getting through to him than I ever was. I love him. I love you both. I’ve done the best that I can, you know?”

  “I know.” I stared at her and I could see the pain she was going through. It made me sad for her.

  Flashing me a huge smile, Elizabeth adjusted her purse on her shoulder. “Well I’m glad to see you and Bianca,” she said, reaching out to me for a hug. I hugged her back tightly, appreciating how helpful she’d been over the last forty-eight hours.

  “I’m glad to see you, too. I know the intention of your trip is to see Mr. and Mrs. Simon, but if you want to come back to New York or something before court, let me know. We’d love to have you.”

&n
bsp; “You and Bianca are truly a lovely couple. I love you two together. I can see that there’s a lot of love there.”

  “There is.”

  “Well you’re not getting any younger. Make me some grandbabies.”

  I chuckled loudly. “I think we’re going to hold off on that.”

  “Well obviously, you’d want to get married first. But soon thereafter, I’d like some grandbabies.”

  I changed the subject. “Thanks for working with the lawyers and the police. And for not posting his bail. I think if he would’ve been released, he would’ve come after us again because he’s still in that mindset, you know?

  “Yes, unfortunately.” She checked her watch. “I need to make sure I am on the plane back to Richmond on time.” She paused, pressing the elevator call button. “I’m glad I saw you and Bianca. I look forward to seeing you both more often.”

  She stepped onto the elevator.

  “Yes. We will definitely make that happen.”

  “I love you, son.

  “I love you too. Call me when you land.”

  “I will,” she said, as the doors closed.

  Returning to the apartment, I heard Bianca moving around in the bedroom.

  She must still be getting ready.

  “Are you ready to deal with Lidia and Stanley,” I joked loudly as I sat on the couch flipping through the channels.

  Bianca’s laugh floated from the bathroom in our bedroom through the apartment.

  I smiled at the sound.

  Walking into the living room in just my paint splattered white t-shirt, she held her hair in place with her hand, a bobby pin between her lips. Taking the bobby pin and pinning her hair away from her face, she put both hands on her rounded hips.

  “I’m never ready for their bullshit.” She pointed at me. “Are you ready?”

  “I’m always ready for their bullshit,” I returned with a smile. My eyes traveled down her bare legs. With her arms up, pinning her hair, the shirt lifted and I could just barely see red lace peeking out from underneath. I ran my tongue between my teeth.

  “Are you wearing the jeans you pulled out of the closet or do you want to dress up? Because I’ll wear jeans if you want me to, but if you want me to dress up, I need to iron.

  “No, you look amazing. I’m wearing jeans and boots.”

  ”Okay and if things don’t go well, we could leave and go somewhere else,” I promised.

  “Can we go to the movies? When was the last time we did something regular like go to the movies?”

  “When you wanted to see that dumbass movie when we first started dating.”

  “What are you talking about? You picked the movie out,” Bianca pointed out playfully.

  “Don’t try to put that on me! You picked that movie out.”

  She tilted her head to the side and made a face. “Roman Harper! You better admit to picking that movie out or I’m going to come over there and I’m going to wrestle the truth out of you.”

  I licked my lips. “Are you going to do it wearing that? Because if that’s the case, I’ll say whatever you want me to say.”

  She tossed her head back and laughed with her mouth open. Her laugh was truly one of the most amazing sounds I’d ever heard in my life.

  Using the remote, I turned off the television and turned on the iPod. Flipping to Bianca’s favorite song, she started dancing.

  “I might have to do a little strip tease for you.” She moved her hips back and forth seductively.

  I made a noise in the back of my throat. “Mmm…Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

  “Oh, I keep my promises.” She lifted the bottom hem of the t-shirt exposing more of the scant piece of fabric she called panties. “And I promise you a good time.”

  My dick stirred.

  Running my hand over my newly awakened dick, I groaned. “You are bad.”

  She smiled and continued dancing, lifting the shirt higher. From the way her breasts jiggled, I knew she was braless.

  “You’re killing me! Get dressed so we’re not late. I’m not trying to spend dinner hearing about how we didn’t show up on time.”

  Bianca dropped the hem of the shirt immediately. “Oh my God! And you know that would be the only conversation we’d have the entire time.” Bianca turned on her heel and went into the bedroom, mocking her mother’s voice the entire way.

  As soon as she was gone, I jumped up and moved as quietly as possible to our home studio. Pulling Bianca’s surprise birthday gift out of the drawer of my desk, I slipped it into my pocket.

  Her birthday is not for another week and a half. She won’t expect a thing.

  Walking over to the window wall, I stood in front of it, looking out over the city. It was a beautiful mid-November day and even though it wasn’t late, the sun was already starting to set. The orange and blue sky reminded me of Virginia and contrasted beautifully with the New York skyline.

  “That’s beautiful,” Bianca commented softly, taking in the view.

  “I want to paint this moment.”

  “You should.”

  I glanced over at her and she looked absolutely beautiful. From her tight black jeans and knee high boots to her white tank top, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She managed to make some of the most basic things stand out.

  “Have you seen my grey and black blazer?” Bianca asked, staring at me expectantly.

  It took me a minute to find my words. I swallowed hard and nodded. “You put it in the guest bedroom when you folded laundry.”

  “What would I do without you?” She turned on her heel and started to walk away.

  “B?” I called out to her, my voice sounded foreign even to me.

  Bianca turned around and gave me a curious look.

  “Will you pose for a picture for me? I want to capture you with the sun set in the background.”

  “Do I need my blazer or do you think I look okay?”

  “I think you look perfect,” I answered honestly.

  She smiled, her face becoming slightly flushed. “Where do you want me?”

  I smiled, extending my hand to her. “There are so many ways I can answer that question.”

  She giggled and allowed me to place her in the spot that would give me the best view of the sky and the skyline.

  Pulling my camera out of my pocket, I took a couple of pictures.

  “B, you are so beautiful. Turn a little to the left. Perfect. You are my muse, you know that?”

  She bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head. “You are so sweet. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” I slipped my phone back in my pocket and took a step toward her. “From the moment I met you, I knew you were someone I could tolerate.”

  She looked as though she was trying not to laugh as she shook her head in amusement.

  I continued, “But you became more than that. You graduated from my teaching assistant to my friend to my best friend to the love of my life. That’s a huge transition. But it had to happen. When people would say ‘when you know, you know,’ I thought it was bullshit. But after being with you officially for two and a half months, I know.”

  I took another step, reaching out to grab her hand. Running my thumb across the smooth surface of her knuckles, I stared into her teary eyes. She chewed on the corner of her mouth and I wanted to lean over and kiss her, but I resisted.

  “There’s no one else in this world for me. For the longest time, art was the single most important thing in my life. I’ve been through a lot and art has always been a constant in my life. Art has always gotten me through. Art was always bigger and more powerful than anything I was going through. But then I fell in love with you. And now your love is the constant in my life. Your love is the thing I can’t live without.”

  The light that flickered in her pupils let me know that she started putting together what was going on. Tears spilled over as her eyes widened slightly. I dropped to one knee, still holding on to her hand. With my free hand, I dug into my poc
ket to pull out the three carat princess cut diamond. Slipping it on to her finger, my voice became strained.

  “I sloppily asked you before, but I didn’t have my shit together. So let me say to you what I should’ve said a couple of days ago. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You worry that not having Charlotte Spence represent me will somehow ruin my career. I worry that not having you will ruin my life. It doesn’t matter to me what Charlotte Spence says about representing me because her decision has no effect on my decision. And I’ve already made my choice. You are my choice. And I will never regret choosing you. I will never regret protecting you. I will never let anything happen to you. So no, I won’t resent you, B. And if I was faced with the choice again, I’d do it all over again. Art is me. Art is in my soul. But you, Bianca Baker, are in my heart. And that’s never going to change. I love you first and everything else second. Will you marry me?”

  From the moment the question left my lips, I waited with baited breath for Bianca’s response.

  Her eyes were reduced to little slits as she swiped at the tears that escaped. Her lips quivered and in that instance a fleeting wave of doubt and insecurity rippled through me. My heart stumbled with nerves when I thought about the slim chance that she’d say no.

  But then she opened her eyes and she gave me that look. The raw and emotional look that used to overwhelm me, gave me a sense of calm. Looking into her eyes, I knew the answer to my question before she even opened her mouth. I’d known the answer to my question the first time she ever gave me that look.

  ----------

  Chapter Thirty

  “Here we are at The Brownstone,” Bianca announced in an obnoxiously pretentious accent.

  I laughed. “Stop talking like that. You sound like an asshole.”

  “Do I sound like too much of an asshole for my presence to be appreciated at The Brownstone?”

  The laughter tore through my chest and I doubled over. “Stop!”

  “Stop what? Acclimating to my surroundings? You need to understand how things work at The Brownstone.”

  The accent was causing me to laugh so hard that I had a sharp pain in my side. I caught my breath and grabbed Bianca by her waist, lifting her off of her feet.