Lightfoot

by Joe Kuster

  Whispering to the ache in his chest, “Don’t you fucking dare. Just because I miss her doesn’t mean I don’t remember her fondly. I’m doing everything else you want, just… let me miss her now and then.”

  Slowly, his magic lowered the sharpened tendril. He got the feeling it missed her too.

  Sniffing, he wiped at his eyes then took another sip of red wine. He blew out a long breath and cursed his choice in alcohol. Reds tended to make him somber on a good day, and he’d already gone through a bottle and a half of fortified wine while waiting for the women to finish their baths. Their cleaning earlier had been a quick thing to get ready for the Duchess, but once they’d gotten back to the inn, both had opted to return for an extended soak in the large copper tubs of hot water.

  Every now and then, he heard the door in the adjacent room open and shut as more hot water was brought in by the maids. The pair had soaked long enough that the staff had more kettles brought up to keep it at the right temperature. Thankfully, given the suite’s layout, they did so without disturbing TJ.

  The rented rooms were joined via a side door and were quite a bit nicer than what he’d had at the Red Briar. He supposed it made sense due to them being next to the castle. Merchants and lesser nobles probably made up the bulk of their patrons. Once they’d checked the rooms over, they’d set Rachel up in the adjacent suite, while he and Abby were sharing the attached servant’s quarters.

  Given Rachel’s status, that was the expected thing to do. It was all a glaring double standard since no one would judge him for his dalliances, but that seemed to be the way of this world.

  Thankfully, the servant’s quarters were more than sufficient for their needs. It had two comfortable beds that could be pushed together and had enough storage that they’d been able to empty the valuables from the wagon. It even had a lockbox affixed into the floor, which they had been quick to use.

  His fingers caressed Serina’s handwritten words as he became lost in thought. He wished more than anything that he could pull Serina from her prison through those letters and hold her again.

  “New spells from Serina?” Rachel asked.

  TJ jolted upright and quickly shut the pages. “Uh, sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”

  Rachel looked into his eyes, and her soul pressed against his. She seemed to immediately understand the situation as she internally assessed their bond. She adjusted her green silk robe, looking momentarily troubled.

  Her lips pressed into a bittersweet smile. “Sorry, TJ. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

  He wiped at his face and groaned. “Look, there’s no reason to be sorry. I just get twisted up is all. She sent another note.”

  “May I?” she asked.

  Sighing, he cracked open the cover and handed over his spellbook.

  He was trying hard not to fall into a melancholic funk, and he suspected Rachel was only trying to help. Abby and Rachel seemed to understand a lot more than he’d expected them to. Enough that he wondered if his oaths were changing them too. At a minimum, their bond gave an intimate peek behind the curtain and into their bondmates’ inner feelings.

  At least with him, he could tell he’d been touched by her hand. His oaths tinted his perception and actively enforced the rules. For them, it was murkier water.

  While they didn’t have the commandments he had received, Serina came to Rachel and Abby in their dreams. The intimate experience wasn’t something they discussed openly. When Serina spoke directly to their souls, her divine guidance came with baggage. It opened up everything that someone was. Every detail of their past, what they were thinking or feeling, was laid out for examination. Whether or not TJ thought of her as a deity, she’d taken on that role for everyone else.

  While the exact details of the visits remained unspoken, Rachel and Abby did share the generalities. Mostly, Serina chatted with them as they tried to get to know one another. Other times, she’d give advice or suggestions on the situations at hand.

  From what he gathered, Serina hadn’t held back on sharing TJ’s story with the others. Both Abby and Rachel had started sharing inside jokes that only Serina had known or would mention little details from his realm that he knew he hadn’t discussed.

  That and he wasn’t exactly hiding his own dedication to the Deva woman. He’d carry that torch for the rest of his life if need be, oath or not. Which only muddled his feelings for Rachel even further. He’d secretly debated if he could get away with changing her hair color. He wanted to avoid having his heart break all over again every time he got befuddled when looking into her face.

  His dark-haired companion skimmed the pages of the book, reread the opening letter. She gave him an adoring look that made his heart hammer in his chest and his mouth to go dry. With slow, deliberate motions, she planted a tender kiss on his lips.

  “I think nearly everyone would be jealous. Most religions say that their gods love their followers, but you get actual love letters,” she said.

  She carefully set the book down on his desk. “I’ll never fault you for your feelings, TJ. Especially not for Serina. She’s… well, like you said, a bright spot among her kind. I like her. A lot more than I suspected I would. Enough that I… well, I suppose you’ll find out next time you talk to her. She made a few things clear that I hadn’t understood. Rather than risk you pushing me away, I swore to her that I’d help you in your quest, and everything that comes with that. I’m now bound by divine oath to ensure my betrothed’s happiness when I’m in a position to do so. One of those things includes letting her borrow my body for her when the time is right. It’s clear you miss each other.”

  TJ’s jaw dropped. He’d been actively avoiding anything that would loop Abby or Rachel into his commitments any more than necessary. He could have ordered anything of them, but he’d never used that part of their connection. He’d been trying to give them as much independence as he could while waiting for the bond to solidify enough that they weren’t limited to his side. Instead of taking that freedom, she’d gone over his head to offer it up anyway.

  Seeing that she’d left him speechless, she grinned. “It’s our quest now. Not just yours. She may have started as your bold fling with a celestial, but she’s our goddess now, and I won’t shy from that.”

  TJ coughed into his hand. “Did… did she command anything specific?”

  Rachel smirked. “Not yet, but I made it clear that she didn’t have to hold back. In looking at her letters, I’m glad I did what I did. Don’t tear yourself up over this. You didn’t force anything onto me. If she feels like using me as a proxy, then I’ll be happy to do it. You’ll be my husband, she’ll be my goddess, and I’ll consider myself lucky to be part of bringing you closer, not further apart.”

  She ran a finger across the book. “I’m hoping she’ll wait until we’re wed to call in that offer. In the meantime, we’ve got a divine mission to fulfill. If I’m not mistaken, she’s going out of her way to make our lives easier or to get you spells that she thinks will be useful. These seem hand-selected for our task of sneaking around.”

  Needing time to process Rachel’s actions, TJ grabbed at the shift in topics like a rope, and he was being pulled down a rushing river. “For the new stuff, I’ve got a Dark Bolt, which I guess is an arrow made of shadows. She gave me Shadows of Concealment, Detect Magic, and a mental domination spell. She also added one that invokes an invisible servant for mundane chores and a language charm. Abby can probably get some use out of that last one.”

  “Adding that to your healing talents, the kinetic force, and the funny one that cleans or flavors things, you’re beginning to sound like an actual magician, not a lost consort that can’t dance,” Rachel offered.

  TJ couldn’t help but smirk. “You’re a lot more capable than the woman that was nearly turned into dog food. You were a whirlwind of death in the cave.”

  “I saw those goblins atop you and decided I was jealous,” she grinned.

  He replied, “Oh? Well, what’s stopping you
now? Any other customs that need to be observed?”

  Rachel looked to the ceiling and groaned. “Technically? I still need my father’s signature. I’d love nothing more than to sign my name on the parchment and call it good, but it’d make us illegitimate. Since that would essentially make me a common wife, I couldn’t take the title of Countess. That has repercussions for the Duchess’s plans as well, and I suspect we’d end up her enemy in a hurry. It’s dumb, but that’s the way this works.”

  TJ’s magic complained, jabbing lightly as it prodded him. It wasn’t as sharp as it usually was, but it was enough of a dull pressure to communicate that it was getting fed up waiting. The gold bond to Rachel flared hot for a moment, and she gritted her teeth and let out a pained hiss.

  “Was… was that the oaths?” she asked once she’d caught her breath.

  TJ nodded apologetically. “Yeah. I think we’re sharing the load now. Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize, my betrothed. I agreed to help carry your burdens, and I knew what those commitments were. Why is it so upset?” Rachel asked.

  TJ said, “There hasn’t been much enjoying life for the last few days. It’s getting antsy.”

  “You’ve got Abby. She seems to revel in her role quite a lot. Perhaps not the travel, but she loves making you happy,” Rachel said softly.

  He blew out a long breath and stared at the ceiling. “Yeah. It’d be miserable without her help, but… well, I know what I want. I’m trying hard to wait.”

  Understanding what he meant, Rachel closed the distance and wrapped him into a tender embrace. They stood there for some time, and TJ didn’t even realize it as he flexed his wings and curled them around her. It was something he frequently did with Serina, and it was a nearly automatic reaction.

  Rachel giggled and snuggled into his feathers as they gently slid across her body. “That feels nice, they’re so warm and soft.”

  She stroked his hair and smiled as she looked into his eyes. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest, and he was reminded of home. Not the painful longings he’d been having, but of the warmth in the sun. The smell of the breeze. Of riding the thermals around the cliffs.

  He held her close and realized she was slowly becoming his new home. He couldn’t go back, at least not anytime soon, but he had Rachel and loved her. Loved her in a way that rode the line between divine compulsion, betrayal of his feelings with Serina, and… something else that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something too complicated for him to put into a one-word descriptor, but… like family, but more intimate somehow.

  Rachel picked that moment to push her own awareness across their bond. The pressure rose in his chest as she probed him, and her arms tightened around his middle.

  She pulled his lips to hers. What had begun as a tender expression of care quickly escalated as their magic intertwined. She pressed harder into him, and he felt every bit of her through the thin fabric of her robe. His hands roamed the smooth flesh of her back and down the supple curve her hips. She responded by lightly biting his lower lip. They were both panting with need as their kiss broke.

  “I… I don’t think I’m ready to ignore expectations entirely. Maybe we could… well… I could do that thing that Abby was doing when you brought me back. I think I could do that. Then… maybe you could guide my hand while I do something for myself?” she asked, suddenly timid.

  Not needing another invitation, or his magic’s prodding, TJ swept her into his arms. He gently carried her to the bed where she could sit on the edge of the mattress.

  Kneeling next to Rachel, he pressed his lips to hers as her hands began exploring his body far less timidly than she’d done previously.

  He’d expected to have a long, heartfelt conversation, but she hadn’t needed additional words. Instead, her hands caressed him through his robes, and she began undoing the knotted cords and folds that kept his clothing secured.

  There was only a moment of hesitation as she reached inside to pull his member free. Her touch was soft and gentle as she wrapped her fingers around him. Her blue eyes were ablaze with longing, and her breathing sped up. She’d spent almost every night being a voyeur over their magical bond to the intimacy that he and Abby shared. She’d felt it and yearned for her own.

  She looked up into his face for a long time, his manhood hardening in her hands. She leaned forward, lips closing in. He could feel her hot breath on his skin.

  Interrupting the moment, the door from the other bedroom swung open. Abby was clad only in her dressing gown, her hair still damp, and merrily humming a tune.

  Abby’s mouth opened, then faltered as she processed the scene. The disappointment on her face was unmistakable.

  “My apologies for interrupting, Master, Mistress. I’ll… collect my things and sleep in ze other room. I… guess I won’t be needed tonight.” Looking to the floor, she mumbled, “Or much at all now.”

  Rachel jerked away, and her face twisted through a complex chain of emotions that TJ couldn’t hope to parse. TJ gave a frustrated sigh and jerked his robes closed. This didn’t look like a conversation they needed to have with his dick hanging out.

  After clearing her throat, Rachel gave an impossibly kind and genuine smile. “Abby, wait. Please. It’s… it’s not like that.”

  Abby kept her eyes on the floor, and her hands clasped in front of her as she moved closer. There was an unspoken tension between the two, and TJ felt the bond flickering back and forth as they tried to read each other.

  Rachel continued, “I believe that we both wish to assist with TJ’s oaths. I know we haven’t discussed it, but I don’t think he or I intended for that to come to an end after we wed.”

  It took her a moment to process Rachel’s statement, but the redhead’s tight frown disappeared and was replaced with caution. However, over the bond, she was radiating fear of rejection. TJ could feel Rachel parsing through those reactions. It wasn’t as specific as telepathy, but it didn’t require a master soothsayer to understand the cause of her feelings.

  Abby swallowed hard. “Perhaps not, but I do not wish to become something less as you become more. It’s complicated, but…” she sighed. “Even in my language, I do not have ze words. I was made to fall in love, and I have. I have given my…” She balled up her fists in frustration. “My purpose. Zat is the closest I dare say. My purpose is sacred. Without it… I am nothing. I’ve done so much and waited for so long to get to zis point. Please, do not take my one chance at happiness from me.”

  “I’d never ask that of you, Abby,” Rachel said.

  Abby replied, “Intention or not, I do not wish to be pushed away over time. To become an outsider, looking in. A surrogate, only to be considered when you are unavailable.”

  “I… see.” Rachel shifted her eyes back and forth between TJ and Abby while she chewed on her lip. “I hadn’t thought about it that way. That probably has something to do with why Serina asked me to open my heart to love’s many forms. She made it clear we’re bound together for a very long time. Even if this life is short, our afterlife would be limited to the three of us unless she finds other followers. She said certain other things are inevitable. I’m not sure how I feel about that part yet, but she asked me not to fear our hearts’ desires. I suspect she asked the same of you, yes?” Rachel asked.

  Abby nodded. “She knows zat complexities of ze heart are not new to me, but I do not dare presume on your behalf. I am new to ze ways of zis realm, but I need to know I will continue to have a place. For ze first time, I am home. You are part of zat home. I do not wish to displace your song but to be your chorus, and hopefully, you, mine. To make ze sounds of our love richer and more beautiful for ze world to hear.”

  The women went silent for a long time.

  After nearly a minute, Rachel reached out and took Abby’s hand into her own. “Then come join us. I’d already decided to make you my sister-wife as soon as it wouldn’t be scandalous, but for now, I need you to show me what’s what. You know what Count tall, dark,
and feathered likes, but I actually have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”

  Her smile returning, Abby replied, “As you wish, Mistress.”

  Chapter 25

  TJ situated his head, dropping his chin on the peak of the roof, and settled in for a long, slow night as he slowly stroked Faith’s head. She curled a tendril of shadow around his wrist, locking it in place as she began to purr. She’d been growing steadily since she’d been summoned. Gone was the look of barely being out of kittenhood as she was now much closer to an adult housecat in size.

  He wasn’t sure if the growth trend would continue or if she’d stay at this size. He also didn’t know what would be most helpful. On the one hand, having her grow to the size of a panther and helping in battle with claws and fangs sounded badass. On the other, if she matured to the size useful for physical confrontations, she’d be a lot harder to move around unnoticed. For times like now, her being able to blend in their surroundings was far more useful.

  There was a smattering of people skulking about in the darkness below, but the number had tapered off dramatically. Those that were still around seemed incredibly fixated on keeping their eyes locked on every darkened doorway or alley, and not looking at the rooftops. They’d been so preoccupied with avoiding eye-level confrontations, the passersby would usually just about step on the rats that were busy searching the nearby gutters for anything edible.

  He whispered, “It’s like no one in your realm ever thinks to look up.”

  “There’s not much reason to. Flying monsters are incredibly rare outside of mountainous areas. That, and I’ve never heard of anyone that could fly aside from stories about a few master magicians. I’m amazed you could lift us,” Rachel replied.

  TJ replied, “It’s not easy, but one at a time is doable. I think my wings have gotten a bit stronger now that I have magic. In my world, we have several races that can fly. Mostly it’s Breeze Dancers, our captors, and the Fae, but there are a few oddballs here and there. Then there is anyone able to polymorph wings or those that can turn into an animal. Most of our community buildings have landing balconies for fliers.”