Hopeless For You

by Hill, Hayden

  We walked through the gate. There was no Jetway bridge or anything, we just followed Rebecca right onto the tarmac.

  "You've got to be kidding me." Gina groaned as we approached the tiny plane.

  Rebecca glanced at her and a reassuring smile played on her lips. "Never flown in a small plane before?" Both of us shook our heads. "Don's a great pilot. You two don't have to worry about a thing."

  The man she indicated waved cheerfully and came forward to help us stow our baggage.

  The passenger section of the plane only had seats for four people. Gina and I settled into two of the seats while Rebecca surprised me by climbing into the copilot seat.

  "Wait— where's the copilot?" Gina said.

  Rebecca looked over her shoulder and smiled reassuringly. "We left Don's usual copilot up at the center. Don't worry, I'm fully qualified."

  Gina fastened her seatbelt with shaking hands. She leaned in close to me and said in a hushed voice, "If I die I'm going to kill you, Ash."

  "You're the one who wanted to come up here so badly," I said.

  "Yeah, but that was before I realized we'd have to take a bi-freaking-plane flown by an administration lady!"

  I exhaled, blowing a strand of hair from my face. "Oh, come on, it's not a biplane. And she said she's fully qualified."

  The engine started.

  "Oh, shit." Gina grabbed my hand. The little plane was already starting forward. "Ash, give me those headphones! Ash!"

  I shook my head. I was feeling anxious, too, but I didn't dare show it. I had to put on a brave face for my friend. "They're stowed in the baggage compartment. Sorry, Gina. Unless you want me to get up and make the plane wobble?"

  Gina's fingers dug in. "No!"

  The plane gained speed and clawed into the air. Gina shut her eyes.

  I didn't move my hand because I wanted to give my best friend whatever comfort I could. She truly hated flying. But while I pitied her, I had a hard time keeping the grin off my face. All my original concern about taking such a small plane had vanished. I could feel every gust of wind buffet the small craft and sense the shudder of each turn of the engine and I found the experience exhilarating.

  Outside, green forests occasionally broken by open meadows dressed the mountain flanks. It was a beautiful, sprawling landscape, and I felt the urge to grab my phone and snap photos. Too bad it was locked away in the baggage compartment along with everything else.

  Gina's grip alternated between loose and tight, depending on the severity of the turbulence. During one particularly bumpy stretch, Gina squeezed so hard, I thought she might break my fingers.

  "Gina!" I said.

  She finally let go of me but shut her eyes even tighter. With her forehead wrinkled like that and crow's feet spreading from her eyes, I got a hint of how she'd look as an older woman. She'd make a pretty grandma.

  You know those movies where people are sitting in a plane that's about to crash and they start to bare their souls to each other? That's what Gina decided to do—with her eyes closed, of course.

  "Ash, since we're going to die, there's something I need to tell you. There's a selfish reason I hang out with you."

  "Gina, stop. We're not going to die." She had me curious, though, and I couldn't resist adding, "But what's the reason?"

  "I hang out with you because you're short. I feel insecure around tall people."

  I had to stifle a laugh. "What are you talking about Gina? Just relax and try not to think about the flight."

  "No it's true, and I'm a selfish bitch for doing it. I always have to be the tallest girl in the room. I can't stand being near a girl who's taller than me. Guys are okay. In fact, tall guys are perfect. But girls. No way."

  Gina continued babbling and when she got to the part where she begged God to let her live, promising she'd never pass a homeless person without giving them money ever again, I leaned my head against the glass and hoped the flight would end soon.

  After an hour, the plane finally began to descend. Ahead, I picked out a little airstrip that seemed practically cut from the trees. As we drew closer to the ground, I saw a couple of Jeeps next to a small log cabin that seemed to serve as the 'control tower.'

  I held my breath as we landed. The plane bounced a few times before stabilizing on the teensy strip, and only when the plane finally came to a complete stop, with the forest a mere fifteen yards ahead, did I inhale.

  As soon as the pilot opened the door for us, Gina relinquished her death grip and hurried outside. She knelt and kissed the dirt runway. Poor girl.

  I stepped outside the plane and glanced toward the log cabin. My jaw dropped.

  Beside me, Gina scrambled to her feet and started wiping the dirt from her dress. She hadn't yet seen what I had.

  "Gina," I said. "Gina."

  Finally, she looked up. I heard her quiet gasp.

  Two perfect examples of the male species strode toward us from the Jeeps parked in front of the cabin.

  My attention was immediately drawn to the taller of the pair. He was easily six feet and towered over me. Tattoos were clearly visible on his arms and neck, and his dark hair stood up in violent, tousled spikes. The upper tip of his pecs bulged from the top of his V neck and his biceps struggled to stay inside the confines of his sleeves. He oozed raw sexuality and he definitely gave off a bad boy vibe.

  His sea-green eyes caught hold of mine and held me. There was a glint of danger in those eyes, and promise. I felt like a deer caught in a wolf's gaze. A reciprocal sense of want welled up inside me, despite my apprehension, and as I gazed deeper into those eyes, I thought I saw something else layered beneath the lust: fear.

  I had the strangest sensation then, as if everything that had come before in my life had been a buildup to this moment. I was meant to meet this man out here on this dirty runway in the middle of nowhere. It was crazy, but I couldn't shake the sensation.

  "Glad to see you two managed to be on time!" Rebecca's cheerful voice broke the spell and I jerked my head toward her, feeling my face flush.

  "No thanks to him." The wolfish look had gone from the eyes of the tattooed one and he jabbed his thumb toward his companion. "Blaine took forever to get ready."

  Blaine was only a little shorter than Mr. Tattoos but still taller than Gina. He was clean-cut, with blonde hair and the face of a male model. He had a really nice smile but compared to Mr. Tattoos, he was a tiny candle sputtering beside a raging bonfire for all the effect he had on me.

  Rebecca smiled patiently. "No worries. You made it." She turned toward Gina and me. "Gina, Ash, this is Blaine and Kade, two of our summer wardens. They help with pretty much everything around here. You'll be partnered with them."

  I glanced at Gina. My friend was smiling widely.

  "Awesome!" Gina extended her hand toward Blaine. "I'm Gina."

  Blaine took her hand, curling his fingers around hers and lifting her palm slightly so that for a second, I thought he might lift it to his lips. When he only shook it, Gina seemed a little disappointed.

  "Nice to meet you," Blaine said. "Gina's a cute name."

  She perked right up at that and laughed, a beautiful sound I'd always envied. His warm, rich chuckle sounded pretty good, too.

  I hung back as Gina greeted Kade next.

  He shook her hand. "The ground around here has an interesting taste, doesn't it?" He had a big smile on his face. "Don't worry, I'm not the biggest fan of flying myself."

  I felt a twinge of jealousy at Gina's delighted smile. "Good to know I'm not the only one."

  Blaine offered me his hand. "Ash, right? Welcome to the funhouse. We got tricks and treats."

  "Thanks." I smiled shyly. When he released me, I turned toward the man whose hand I was most interested in shaking, but Kade was already walking toward the plane. I bit my lip in disappointment.

  Without a word, Kade grabbed three pieces of luggage and hauled them toward the Jeep. Blaine grabbed the others.

  I started toward the two men. "It's fine,
I can carry my own—"

  Gina put an arm around my shoulders.

  "Enjoy the chivalry for once, Ash. It won't kill you to let them carry our bags. Besides, I have a feeling it won't last long. The chivalry, I mean."

  "Just wanted to get my phone to take some pictures," I mumbled, saying the first lame excuse that came to mind.

  "You girls are really lucky to be interned to Blaine and Kade," Rebecca said. "These two know the center and the surrounding woods better than anyone else." Rebecca smiled at Gina's enthusiastic nod.

  I stared at Kade, watching his arm muscles ripple while he carried the bags. I started to have all these naughty thoughts about those muscles but then he looked back at me and I saw that hungry look again.

  I immediately lowered my gaze, blushing. What was I, some schoolgirl meeting guys for the first time? I had to remind myself I hadn't come out here to find a man.

  I tried to convince myself he wasn't into me, that I'd imagined the wolfish looks. Maybe he was just hungry because he hadn't had his Canadian pancake breakfast or something.

  Besides, I'd never be with him. I wouldn't let myself. I reached up and touched the slight lump of jewelry hidden beneath my shirt, reassuring myself that my dearly departed fiancé's ring was safe on its chain. Love was something I'd never know again.

  We reached the Jeeps, which were colored army green and emblazoned with the feather and star logo of the conservation organization. Rebecca joined Kade in the first Jeep with the luggage while Gina and I sat with Blaine in the other. Gina beat me to the front seat but I didn't mind.

  The Jeep bumped along the dirt and gravel road. Blaine and Gina chatted animatedly the whole time but I let their conversation wash over me without paying much attention. I was too absorbed in the feel of the wind on my face in the open-top Jeep. I loved the raw evergreen smells. On a whim, I pulled the tie out of my hair and let the strands fall loose.

  "Ash, look!" Gina's excited voice startled me.

  I followed her gaze skyward, where two birds pirouetted high in the air, black silhouettes against the incredible blue. I heard a distant, high-pitched shrill.

  "Falcons." Blaine said, his tone almost reverent. "They're the reason we're here. We track each and every one of them."

  "Track? How?" Gina asked.

  "Leg bands."

  Gina furrowed her brow. "Leg bands?"

  I answered for Blaine. "The bands have radio frequencies they use to ID the falcons. If any of them is hurt, or dies, the bands will show exactly which nest it belongs to. Right?" I glanced at Blaine.

  He nodded. "That's right. You're pretty smart. Both of you are premed students, right?"

  Gina was the one who answered. "We are." She started to twirl her hair with one finger. "I'm looking forward to banding some birds with you, Blaine."

  I sank back, letting Gina have her flirtatious little conversation. I stared at the clear blue sky. The spiraling falcons were visible for a good portion of the drive and almost seemed to be shadowing our movements. Such beautiful birds. Falcons didn't have to worry about such things as love and loss. Their biggest problem was finding a meal for the day.

  About half an hour later, the Jeep began to slow. The trees gave way to a wide clearing and Blaine drove into a complex of buildings that was just like the picture on the web site. Log cabins set among concrete buildings. Wooden signposts. Pine trees everywhere. The place had more the feel of a summer camp than a wildlife center.

  Kade pulled up beside us in the other Jeep and unloaded four of the bags, handing them to Gina and me.

  "I guess the chivalry ends now," I told Gina.

  She shrugged, extending the handle of her bigger piece of luggage and hoisting the smaller handbag onto her shoulder by the strap. I did the same with mine. Each of us still had one small duffel bag in the Jeep but Kade slung them both over his powerful shoulders, apparently having mercy on us.

  Rebecca instructed the two men to give us a quick tour on the way to our rooms, then she excused herself.

  Muscles cording as he carried the two duffel bags, Kade led the way.

  Blaine hung back with Gina and me. He gestured to the main structure. "This is the administration building where Rebecca runs pretty much everything. The big building beside it is the aviary where we take in injured birds. Though the focus is on falcons, we handle a bunch of different species because no other locals have the expertise. Those buildings over there are the dormitories. Yours is the smaller one. The other one has a gym with a few weights and treadmills."

  Kade held open the door to the smaller dormitory with his foot and Blaine went inside, followed by Gina. As I passed Kade, Blaine called over his shoulder, "You two are sharing a room."

  My eyes went wide and I felt my heart rate triple. I glanced at Kade. He smiled broadly. "Don't get your panties in a twist. He means you and Gina."

  "I know what he meant," I shot back dryly, hoping my eye roll covered my initial surprise. Why had I thought even for a second that Kade and I would be sharing a room? It was silly. I had no intention of ever sleeping in the same room as him. And Rebecca would certainly never allow it.

  Still, my heart continued to race and I felt short of breath. Just because he had a hot face with a muscular body and a few sexy tattoos didn't mean I was into him. Not at all. Though I have to admit I wondered what his abs looked like beneath that thin shirt. I bet they were rock hard. Like his—

  Ash, just stop it. He wasn't someone I'd ever get with and that's all there was to it. Everything about him screamed player. Girls threw themselves at him. He was hot and he knew it, and he took advantage of that fact to con women left and right, I was sure.

  Blaine escorted us upstairs to our small, spartan room.

  The window was open, letting in a fresh, cool breeze. There was just enough space for two beds and a couple of side tables. Not so different from the campus residence hall we'd shared last semester, except there was no bathroom.

  Kade dropped off our bags. I was kind of hoping he'd stay longer but he left right away. Blaine lingered, though. "The key for your room is in the desk drawer. The only internet access we have is in the admin building. As you've probably guessed, there are no cellphone towers around so if you need to make a call there's a land line in the admin building, too. They monitor long distance calls so be careful how often you use it or you're in shit. Well." He grinned widely. "Get comfortable and unpack, then come on down to the other dorm building. It has a bigger dining hall and we're having a welcome dinner for the baby ducks."

  Gina's brows drew together. "Baby ducks?"

  "The newbies. Five others arrived this week. You two complete the flock."

  "Ah." Gina pursed her lips. "How many people do you have up here altogether?"

  "Including the seven baby ducks, we're up to nineteen."

  "Are we the only ones from outside Canada?"

  "Pretty much. Most everyone else is from British Columbia. We got one from Toronto. Another from Quebec. We do have one person from Germany but you two are the only Americans. Don't worry about it, though. We won't hold it against you." He winked and I wasn't sure if it was for me or Gina. I decided on Gina. "Dinner is served in two hours. Drop by as soon as you've had a chance to freshen up. Maybe you can help with the cooking."

  "We're looking forward to it." Gina smiled and flipped her hair back. "See you, Blaine."

  When Blaine had disappeared down the hall, Gina shut the door and then sank down on the bed with a dreamy sigh. "He's gorgeous. What a hunk."

  I rolled my eyes and made a face. "We're not here to meet men, Gina."

  "Aren't we?" Gina dragged her luggage over to the narrow space between our beds. She zipped open the top of her luggage and started to pull out clothes. "There's something to be said about Canadian men, I tell you. Blaine is so scrumptious. Yum. I wonder what he tastes like."

  "Gina!"

  "What? You're probably wondering the same thing. That Kade is quite the showpiece himself. Did you see the bicep
s on that boy? Bet he works out in that gym every day. Him and Blaine, both. I know where I'm going be spending most of my free time. And don't you just love Kade's tattoos? I can tell you're dying to lick them right off him."

  "You can have them both," I said, meaning it. "It's not like you haven't done that before."

  Gina shrugged. "Stuck in the woods with two hot guys? I'll take it. You'll cover my back, won't you? Make sure neither one finds out I'm sneaking around, 'kay? Or maybe I should just have a threesome from the beginning and get it over with."

  "Sometimes you act like such a guy," I said, laughing.

  Gina shrugged. "I'm a man who just so happened to be born with breasts and a pretty face."

  "Yay." I rolled my eyes, opening my own bag and pulling out the neat stack of clothes. I wondered if I should change for dinner.

  Something soft smacked me in the face. I caught the rolled up pair of hiking socks that fell away and pitched them right back at Gina. "Hey!"

  "Sorry, couldn't help it." Gina grinned mockingly. "Your negative energy is dragging me down."

  "Negative energy. Pfft." I opened the closet and was happy to find a set of hangers.

  "Seriously, stop moping, Ash. Things could be worse. We could be interned to two creepy old guys rather than that yummy pair. Besides, I know you have the hots for him."

  "What are you talking about?"

  "Kade. Definitely not the kind of boy you want to take home to mom and dad, not with all those tattoos, but I saw the way you were looking at him back there."

  I crossed my arms. "And just how was I looking at him?"

  "You know..."

  I shrugged, trying to ignore the heat creeping into my cheeks. "I don't, actually."

  Thankfully, Gina didn't press the matter.

  It only took about half an hour to unpack. When we were done, Gina exhibited classic signs of cellphone withdrawal. She seemed jittery and kept going to the window, hoping to find a signal.

  "Gina, there's no cellphone tower out here, remember?"

  "I know," Gina said. "But there's gotta be a weak signal around somewhere. There always is."

  I smiled, shaking my head, then stowed my own phone beside the nightstand. I'd downloaded an app that blared sounds in the morning to wake me up. I used to have it run songs from my own playlist as the alarm but that just got me hating the songs, so I'd switched the tone to a foghorn. Gina and I pretty much hated foghorns to death these days.