“I was separated! It’s not the same, Ray, and you know it!”
“Sure, uh huh, okay Mandy, whatever you say…”
“RAY!”
Ray smiled in his office, feeling warm and mushy. He loved this woman so much. He wanted to help her and protect her from being hurt. He wanted to hold her when she was feeling vulnerable, and make her laugh when she was feeling down. He wanted to be there with her. “I love you, Mandy.”
“I love you too…buddy.” Amanda laughed. “Or have you forgotten our deal?”
“Who, me? Of course I haven’t. I meant like a sister.” Ray laughed at the absurdity of that line. But it made her laugh. How he loved to hear her laugh. “Go get your divorce, honey. Eat something, relax, everything will be fine. I’ll try and call you later, when it’s all over.”
“Okay…talk to you later…and Ray? Thanks for being so understanding.”
“No problem, Mandy. Thanks for sharing this with me. Take care.”
Her sudden burst of love for Ray was almost overwhelming. She hugged the phone to her chest. “I love you,” she whispered to the dial tone.
~~~
Amanda walked into the courtroom and sat at the plaintiff’s table. She didn’t look over at Peter. She wanted to put this part of her life behind her. The sooner it was, the faster she could move on to a better life. She listened to the judge and waited for him to undo the marriage with his trusty gavel.
Finally, since there was nothing to argue over, Judge Jennings granted them their divorce. She hurried out of the courtroom. She didn’t want to have to talk to Peter anymore. But that would have been too good to be true. She heard running steps behind her as he grabbed her arm to stop her.
“Mandy, please wait. It can’t end this way…at least we have to say goodbye.”
Amanda reluctantly turned around. “I thought we said our goodbyes almost a year ago when we separated. Life goes on, Peter. I’m sorry it didn’t work, but now, it’s over.”
Peter just stared at her. He had changed her. “Yeah, you’re right. Take care of yourself, Mandy.” He stuck his hands on his pockets and walked off.
Amanda sat down to give him time to leave. She willed herself to be happy it was over, but I guess mistakes are always hard to accept, even this one. Three years of marriage, down the drain. Not to mention all he had put her through before. But it was over, time to brush herself off and move on. She walked out of the court house, head held high, ready to do just that.
Chapter 10
Amanda stayed in the hot shower for a long time. She was emotionally drained. So much had happened today and it was more than she could take in. She tried to clear her mind of everything and just feel the hot water running down her body.
She heard the phone ringing. She decided to let the answering machine pick up. She really didn’t want to talk to anybody anyway.
It clicked on. “Hi Mandy, it’s me Ray…just wanted to see how you were doing after your big day.”
She lunged out of the shower and ran to the phone sopping wet and totally naked. “Ray, wait, I’m here!” She was gasping for breath.
“Hi. Just come in from running a marathon?” Ray laughed at her.
“No, I was taking a shower and had to come out running. I even forgot to stop for a towel.” Why did she tell him that?
Ray was silent for a minute. “Hmmm…that’s going to be a hard image to get out of my head.” Ray told himself to stop trying to picture it.
“Oh, Ray, stop it. You’re making me blush.”
Ray laughed. “I can’t see you Mandy, so there’s no need to blush.”
“Yes, but deep down you want to see me, don’t you?” She asked him coyly.
Ray cleared his throat. “Well, yes. I’d like to see you.” He changed the subject. “Speaking of which, when are you going to send me your picture?”
“Oh I forgot! Did you send me yours?” She had taken quite a few pictures on vacation. She was trying to have some scanned so she could send it via email.
“Yes, I have a couple picked out. I’ll try to send them tomorrow. But you have to promise to send me yours.”
“Ok. I’m trying to send them by email. It should be in the next couple of days. I have to admit, I’m a little nervous.”
“Why? I’m sure you’re beautiful. What do you look like?”
“Well, at the moment, I’m cold and naked. Can you hang on? Amanda giggled like a teenager.
“You’re killing me,” groaned Ray. “Go get dressed, I will hold a sec.”
She laughed and went to put on her robe. She was amazed at how much better she felt hearing his voice. He always put her in a good mood. “Okay, back.”
“How did court go? Is it all over?” Ray asked worriedly.
“Yes, it is. I’m now a divorced woman…again.”
“Are you okay?” He knew this must be hard on her.
“I will be. It was hard seeing Peter, and it’s hard to watch my second marriage fail. It’s been a long day. And to top it off, my car died.” Amanda didn’t know why, but she suddenly started to cry.
“Mandy, please don’t cry,” begged Ray.
She kept crying. It was the first time she cried all day. It seemed once she got the water works going, she couldn’t shut it off. “I’m sorry, Ray,” she sobbed.
Ray felt heartsick. He didn’t know what to do. He was so far away. She sounded so miserable. He just wanted to hold her and make the hurt go away. “Mandy, are you still there?”
Amanda’s sobs had subsided. They were more like little hiccups now. She did her best to get herself together. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break down like that. Like I said, it has been a hellish day.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind. I just wish I were there to comfort you. Was it awful?” He wondered this not only because of what she had been through today, but because he knew he would be going through it in the near future.
“Divorce is never fun. I hated it. But it’s over and now I can move on. I think some margaritas are in order!” She tried to sound cheerful. “Anyway, thanks so much for calling. I feel so much better.” She was amazed at how true that was.
“You’re welcome, Mandy. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Don’t have too many margaritas.”
She laughed, “Nope…no such thing as too many tonight. Talk to you later.”
~~~
Chapter 11
Hilary had not spoken to her sister in days. Not since she had walked out on her at the restaurant that day. She felt so bad about that. She also knew she had gone to get her divorce yesterday and was wondering how that went. Seeing Peter must have been awful, and she felt guilty for not going with her. She wouldn’t doubt it if Amanda was not speaking to her at all. She was on her way home from work and decided to swing by her house.
She and the kids were in the driveway when she got there. They had arms full of groceries, and were headed for the door. The kids saw her and waved happily. Amanda just looked and kept walking. Hilary noted she didn’t look so well. She had on dark glasses and her hair just sat on top of her head like she had decided she couldn’t be bothered that morning. Plus, she had on no make-up. It was worse than she thought! She always did her hair and make-up before leaving the house. Even to just go to the grocery store!
She got out of her car and hurried to catch up to them.
“Hi,” she tried to sound cheerful.
“Hi Aunt Hilary!” was the chorus from Elisa and Alex. They walked over to hug her. Nothing as of yet had come out of her sister’s mouth. “How is Miss Amanda today?” Hilary looked at her for some sign of life. There was none. In fact, she didn’t even glance in her direction.
They had reached the kitchen and Amanda started packing away the groceries. She opened the Oreos and started munching on one as she put the milk away. The kids ran off to play video games, leaving the dirty work to their mom and aunt. They sensed the tension in the room and wanted to be a safe distance away.
“Can I have
an Oreo?”
Amanda just looked at her mid-bite and handed her the bag. She continued to put away the groceries.
Hilary noticed she had bought a lot of junk food which was unlike her. She was always watching her weight and never bought the stuff.
She was putting away the Rocky Road ice cream she bought, but before she reached the freezer grabbed a spoon and started eating it right out of the carton.
“Wow, Mandy, who are you? You never eat out of the container, much less after a handful of Oreos…what on earth is wrong?” Hilary felt so guilty that she had neglected her during this horrible time. Her sister had resorted to binging!
She gave her sister the most evil look she could muster, stuck another big spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, grabbed another Oreo and said, “What the hell do you care?”
“Oh Mandy…stop it. You know I care. I’m your sister, I love you and I want to help you. Can you please stop eating now? The black cookie crumbs on your teeth are grossing me out!”
With that, Amanda burst out laughing, spraying Hilary with cookie crumbs, which made her laugh even harder. Hilary pretended to be mad, but in reality, she was just relieved to break the tension.
“Dang it Mandy, this is my favorite beat up old t-shirt, and you just covered it with nasty cookie crumbs! How old are you?” Hilary laughed with her sister. “Now that we have broken the ice a little bit, let me ask you, where’s your car? Are you divorced? Are you still speaking to me?”
Amanda looked at her sister and remained speechless. What Hilary didn’t know is that if she spoke, the water works would begin.
“Mandy, knock it off! I’m sorry I left you in that restaurant. I’m sorry I was so critical about Ray. I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive these last few days. Please forgive me, and talk to me.”
She remained silent.
“Mandy…please?”
She couldn’t hold it in any longer. She started to cry.
Hilary ran and put her arms around her. She held her while she cried. “Mandy, honey, what is it? What happened?” She was beside herself. What could have gone so horribly wrong?
Amanda began her series of little hiccups. She tried to tell Hilary about the past couple of days.
“Car broke…Peter awful…divorce final…,” she hiccupped, “and I have a hangover!”
Hilary couldn’t help but laugh. She rubbed her back and tried to get her to calm down so she could hear the whole story. She made her a cup of herbal tea and sat down with her at the kitchen table. “Okay…tell me everything. Don’t leave out anything!”
Amanda began her tale of woe, starting with the divorce court and how Peter acted, ending with the car breaking down.
“When’s it going to be fixed?” Hilary asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t even know how I’m going to get to work tomorrow, or Alex to school, or anything!”
“Why do you have a hangover?”
Amanda groaned and held her head. “Country music and margarita’s need I say more?”
Hilary raised her eyebrows. “I guess not.”
The phone rang. Amanda covered her ears as if it were too loud. Hilary went to get it.
“Hello?”
No one spoke on the other end. Hilary repeated herself, “hello?” It was a little louder that time.
“Ummm….is Mandy home?” A man’s voice asked.
“Who’s this?”
“This is her friend…Ray. Is she home?” Ray wondered who this could be. She sounded too old to be her daughter.
“Well, hi Ray, this is her sister, Hilary.”
He froze…this was not going to be pretty. “Mandy has said nice things about you.”
“Really? She has said some nice things about you, too.” Hilary was about to add “and not so nice things,” but decided against it.
“Well only some of it is true,” he laughed.
“Well I hope that isn’t true, Ray. I have to tell you, I’m a little worried about this ‘relationship’ you have started up with my sister. She has been through a lot and the last thing she needs is to have someone yanking her chain.” Hilary had never been one to mince words. She wanted Ray to know exactly where she stood.
“I understand completely. To tell you the truth, it’s kind of hard for me to even understand. Our ‘relationship’ as you called it, is really only the beginning of something neither of us is pretending to understand. I don’t want to say anything as cliché as we’re meant to be, but honestly Hilary, I think we are. We have something here, and are trying to figure out what. We’re taking it slow, and we have some of our own personal issues to work out, but I care for your sister.”
“You have personal issues? That’s the first time I ever heard a wife referred to as that.” Hilary was on a roll.
It took Amanda a while to realize it was Ray on the phone. She gingerly walked over to Hilary and took the phone from her. “If you don’t mind, Hilary, I don’t need you to mother me. I’m a big girl.”
Hilary glared at her sister, but handed her the phone. “I’ll wait for you in the other room.”
Amanda nodded as she turned her attention to the phone in her hand. “Hi Ray.”
“Wow, who rattled her cage?”
“She’s like a lioness protecting her cub. You’d never believe I was so much older than her. Just ignore her, Ray, she’ll come around.”
Ray doubted that very much.
“How is the car situation?” She had emailed him that morning venting about her car breaking down. She had sounded so frantic.
Amanda groaned. “Don’t remind me. It’s still broken and I have no way to get to work tomorrow. This really is a nightmare.”
“I wish I could help, but I don’t know how.” He was sincere about this. All he wanted was to make sure she was happy.
“Everything will turn out fine. It always does.” She sure wished she felt as sure of that as she sounded.
“I better go. I’m at the Stop and Shop picking up some groceries. I’ll talk to you soon, okay, Mandy?”
She didn’t want to let him go, but his life was calling him.
“Talk to you soon, Ray. Thanks for calling and again, I’m sorry about last night.”
“It’s okay. Get some rest.”
Amanda hung up the phone and walked to the living room so the inquisition could begin. Hilary did not let her down. She laid into her with both barrels. Same old questions, over and over again. She was just too exhausted to deal with this. She told her to go home.
“Let me deal with my own life. Ray is the only inkling of something nice in my life right now. Besides for the kids, he keeps me afloat. Why do you have to fight me about it? You’re the one who told me to get online and flirt. I did and although I wasn’t looking for it, found someone to fill my time.” Amanda shrugged, “No big deal, Hilary, so stop making it one.”
Reluctantly Hilary conceded. She kissed her sister goodbye and said, “This isn’t over. When you feel better, we’re going to talk about this.”
Amanda rolled her eyes, “Of course we are.”
~~~
Monday morning came and she had to send Alex to school on the bus. He was very upset about this.
“Alex, the car is broken…what do you want me to do, carry you on my back to school?” Amanda was frustrated to the max. She had already called Mariah and told her she wasn’t coming in today. She feigned a migraine, and in reality, she felt one coming on.
“But Mom, it takes forever to get to school on the bus! I have to take the city bus, not a school bus. This sucks!” Alex went to get ready for school. He hated this, but barring not going to school, which his mom would never allow, he had to get on the bus. He grabbed his backpack and went to say goodbye to his mother. “I’ll see you later, Mom.”
“Have a good day, Alex. I’m sorry. I love you.” She hated disappointing her kids. She knew Alex was upset, but all this was for him was an inconvenience. Life always didn’t fall right into place, and he might as well learn that
now.
“I love you, too.”
She went and poured herself a cup of coffee. She had to call the mechanic, but was putting it off for as long as she could. She had a bad feeling she was not going to get good news. Naturally, this would not surprise her. Not this week anyway.
She went over to the computer to check her email. She had tons! She hadn’t been on in a while.
Kitcat had sent her a long letter about meeting her Rocknroller. She said it had gone great and they had hit it off right away. They’d had a lot in common. She’d had a blast in Florida and was anxious to go back. Of course, she had to add that she had lived through it and there had been nothing to worry about. Rocknroller had been a perfect gentleman, much to her dismay.
Amanda wondered if she would ever have the nerve to go and visit Ray. She couldn’t imagine herself alone on a plane, heading to Maine to visit a man she had literally never met. It happened all the time in cyber space, but she’d be very hesitant to try. She could just hear her sister and various friends and family members if she ever decided to do this. All hell would break loose! She laughed out loud at the thought. She put it right out of her mind, filing it under Y for ‘yeah right’.
The phone rang and she just stared at it like a deer in the headlights. She just knew it was the mechanic. She slowly went to pick it up, dreading the news that was coming. She held the receiver to her ear without saying anything.
“Hello?” It was Ray.
She laughed with relief. “Hey there, Ray. I thought you were someone else. I’m expecting a call from my mechanic.
“You sound better this morning, Mandy. At least you’re laughing. How is everything?” He knew that she was under a lot of stress, which was why he kept calling. He hoped that it helped her to talk about it.
“I’ll let you know after I talk to Ernie, my mechanic. I have a feeling he doesn’t have good news for me. I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“Well, don’t worry about it until you have to. We’ll figure it out.”
Amanda thought about the “we’ll” for a minute. Even though she knew this definitely wasn’t Ray’s problem, it made her feel warm inside to think he wanted to help her. She liked it.
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