When You Least Expect It

by Sandra Leiper

  He considered the possibilities. Hmm, let’s see, he was twenty-five hundred miles away. That in itself seemed like an insurmountable problem. But wait, there’s more! He was in the middle of what promised to be a horrendous divorce, if Carrie had her way. He had three kids who he’d never be able to leave, and Amanda loved El Paso and had kids still at home. What did he have to offer her? He laughed out loud. Just as Carrie promised, the only thing he had was a small one-bedroom apartment, and a lot of unwanted, irremovable baggage. He covered the pillow with his head and hoped for suffocation.

  ~~~

  Amanda opened her mail the next morning to see if she had gotten any nibbles. She had ten nibbles in response to her ad. She clicked on one just to see what she had to look forward to tonight. She chose one from TexasTiger.

  Hey TexasRose! I liked your ad! I’m a 42, very male, good-looking man who has a lot to offer, if you know what I mean. I’m a golf pro and have time to spare. Just to keep everything open, I’m a married man, but my wife is no fun. Let’s have some fun! So what do ya think, shall we exchange pictures? Let me know! TT

  Amanda deleted this immediately after a good belly laugh. Oh no! What was Hawaiianlover thinking setting her up for this? A married man? Oh well, this would be good for some laughs if nothing else.

  She got ready for work, still laughing as she walked out the door.

  After dropping Alex off at school, she went to work and poured herself a cup of coffee. She dug around in her bag for a phone card. She thought she’d give Ray a call. She felt bad after last night. He had no clue how she was feeling and he was probably confused. He didn’t understand her moodiness which had nothing to do with him. She dialed the zillion numbers from the calling card.

  “Ray Knight.”

  This alone brought a smile to her face. “Hey.”

  Ray was stunned to hear her voice. “Hey Mandy. What’s up?” Ray wished he felt as casual as he sounded.

  “Nothing much, Ray, I just wanted to call and say hi. Are you busy?”

  “No, not really. Is everything okay?” Why is it every time she sounded like this he was sure she was ending it with him?

  “I guess. I just wanted to apologize for being so distracted last night on the phone. I had a lot on my mind.”

  Ray had a feeling it was about him. “Getting tired of me?” Ray felt his heart sinking.

  “No. I’m just wondering if I can continue to do this...maybe my friends and family and everyone on earth who knows about us is right. This is insane.”

  The only feeling Ray could describe at this moment was panic. “Mandy…”

  “Ray, let’s talk about this later. I can’t do this right now. I didn’t plan on this phone call going in this direction. I have to think about it. Call me tonight?”

  “Yes, of course. I’ll call you at the usual time.”

  “Thanks. Later.” Amanda hung up.

  Ray sat at his desk, stunned. What could have brought this on? Did he do something? Had she met someone else? Ray wished he had someone he could talk to about Amanda and this whole Internet thing, but he hadn’t told anyone. It now seemed like he may never have to.

  ~~~

  After her conversation with Ray, her day at work went downhill from there. She’d worked in pediatrics and almost every baby that came in had needed immunizations. That meant three to four injections per baby. That also meant three to four piercing screams per baby, followed by tears from the mothers and hateful looks from the freshly immunized victim. It made her want to run to the bathroom and cry.

  Next, her supply order hadn’t arrived, doctors had yelled and Mariah was in rare form. They had not been the same since she had accused her of being the ‘other woman’ and Amanda missed her friend. She left the office depleted of all energy and emotions.

  Once home, she popped a frozen dinner in the microwave. Alex was at work for the night, and since she rarely cooked for just herself, always had them on hand. Fortunately, since Alex worked at a restaurant, he ate there. Amanda looked around her kitchen as the minutes on the timer wound down. The last thing she wanted tonight was to be alone in her house. She missed the kids. She missed having company. She went to the phone, dinner in hand and called Hilary.

  To add to her misery, Hilary’s chipper answering machine came on. She was out with her family. As she ate her almost cooked frozen ravioli, she felt that if someone poked her with the fork she was eating with, she would fly around the room like a deflating balloon.

  She looked at the clock. Ray would be calling soon, and the last thing she wanted was to get into that again. She turned on the computer, logged on and went to email. She had ten more emails to add to this morning! She decided to spend the evening sorting through them, and writing back to the ones who looked promising.

  Out of the twenty-some emails she received, Amanda only replied to two. She sent a standard email to both, polite but noncommittal. She stressed on the fact that she wanted to take it slow. She shut off the computer and decided she wasn’t going to hold her breath. She went to bed, fighting the urge to have a good cry.

  ~~~

  Ray was standing in his kitchen eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich over the sink. As he gulped down his milk, he wondered how he would ever get to sleep that night. He’d tried all night to call Amanda, but no answer. She knew he was calling, and usually she told him when she wasn’t going to be there.

  Unfortunately, Ray knew the answer…she didn’t want to talk to him. Her ‘confusion’ was keeping her away. There were times he wished he had never met her. He laughed. Technically, he had never met her. This was the problem. They were hanging out their feelings to dry on people they had no idea would connect. It was scary. It was probably starting to feel pointless to Amanda, which was leading to her confusion.

  Ray plopped himself on the side of the bed. He sat there in the dark for a long time before he willed himself to lie down and try to get some sleep. It took a long time. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her. First, it was Amanda in the picture she sent, smiling, cute, petite and bubbly. Then it moved to how he pictured her. How she must look when she laughed, or when she twirled her hair around her finger. How sexy she must be. How she’d feel in his arms, or how his lips would feel on hers. He could almost feel how soft they’d be. Ray ached for her, both physically and emotionally, yet he was beginning to feel that they’d never get the chance to be together.

  Chapter 24

  Amanda was standing in line at the post office. She was mailing out the present she had bought Ray for his birthday. She had decided not to be petty and to surprise him.

  She hadn’t taken any of his calls since Thanksgiving. He called everyday almost and left messages on her answering machine. He really didn’t say much, except that he wanted to talk. She listened to the recordings and fought every urge she had to pick up the phone. She missed him; hence, the birthday package. The card was very benign, it simply was signed, ‘your internet friend, Mandy.’ She didn’t mention in the card how she still thought about him endlessly, or how she’d lie awake at night and wonder what he was doing, hearing his soft voice in her head and reliving all the great phone conversations they’ve had.

  She paid the postal clerk and watched as he dismissively tossed the package in to the bin. Much like she had done to Ray. She squelched her brief moment of guilt and quickly went on to finish her errands.

  She was on her way to get her hair done for her date tonight. She had finally chosen a lucky guy (or two) to meet for drinks. They had been chatting for a while and he seemed harmless enough so they were going to her favorite hang out for a margarita. The funny part was that she wasn’t nervous at all. To her, it was just a drink. If he liked her, great, if not…oh well. No pressure. He’d sent her a picture and he was reasonably attractive, single with no children at the ripe old age of thirty-nine. She was going to have to tell Hilary what she was up to, just in case he ended up being an internet murderer.

  ~~~

  Ray had jus
t dropped off the girls and was sitting at home watching television. He hated Sunday nights. It was so much fun having the girls there. They were so animated, and laughter filled his tiny apartment. The apartment just felt more like a home when they filled it. Then he would come back to the quiet, empty apartment at night and he felt so desolate. He hated living alone.

  He picked up the phone to make his nightly call to Amanda. He missed her terribly. He just wanted to hear her voice. He didn’t understand why she wouldn’t at least hear him out. Ray hung up the phone. The sad thing was that he did understand, and he didn’t blame her. He could barely stand to be with himself, what exactly did he have to offer her?

  ~~~

  After giving Hilary all the pertinent information on her date, Amanda drove to the Mexican Restaurant, Nene’s, to meet her internet wonder. His name was Wayne and he was an electrical engineer. He said to look for the tall man with the long hair and beard.

  Amanda hesitantly walked in to the bar, mustering up as much confidence as she could. She stood there for a moment taking in everyone, wondering which one of these men was her date. Surprisingly enough, several men there fit the description.

  Someone was tapping her shoulder. She looked into the green eyes of a very handsome man who asked her if her name was Amanda.

  “Wayne?”

  “Oh good, I found you. Yes, I’m Wayne.” He took Amanda’s hand and kissed it. He stared at her for a long moment. “You are absolutely gorgeous.”

  Amanda blushed. She looked at his dark brown hair, his beautiful laughing green eyes, and his sideway smile and was smitten. “Thanks, shall we sit down?”

  Wayne took her by the arm and got them a table. He ordered both of them a margarita, on the rocks with salt, just the way she told him online she liked them.

  Amanda sat back in her chair, crossing her legs languidly. “I’m impressed that you remember that.”

  “Why wouldn’t I.” He took Amanda’s hand in his. “I remember everything you say. I’m quite intrigued by you.”

  “Really…what part?”

  “Every part.” He eyed her up and down. “This takes on a whole new meaning now that we’ve met.”

  Amanda laughed, but was somewhat taken aback. “Down boy, we haven’t even started on our drinks yet.”

  As if on cue, the drinks arrived. Wayne paid for them and they sipped them slowly. She noticed the conversation was not what she’d hoped. It was strained and sporadic. He really had nothing different to say from what he’d said online. She fought the urge to compare him to Ray.

  “What do you usually do when you go out on the town, Wayne?”

  “I don’t really date too much. I spend a lot of time at home, hanging out with my mother.”

  The little red flags in Amanda’s mind shot up. “You still live with your mom?”

  “Yes, I’ve always lived with her. When I got married, instead of me moving out, I moved my wife in. She didn’t get along with my mother too well, which is why I’m now divorced.”

  Amanda stared at him. Did he hear himself?

  “I don’t plan on marrying again just for this reason. I want to live with my mom. She’s alone, and I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night for worrying about her if I weren’t there. It just makes it easier.

  “Does your mom like it that way?” Amanda wondered without saying so if his mom had a life of her own, obviously Wayne didn’t.

  “Of course she does. She’s been a single mom all her life, and she feels it’s my turn to take care of her. It’s only fair, don’t you think?”

  Amanda’s eyes widened. “I think that a man in his forties should have a life of his own. You never had children, nor do you have anyone to grow old with, I think that’s sad.”

  Wayne just stared at her, without responding. He downed his margarita and rose. “You’re a lovely lady, Amanda, albeit opinionated. Thanks for meeting me. Good evening.” He walked off without as much as a second look back.

  Amanda was astounded. She shrugged her shoulders and continued drinking her margarita. She thought about her mini-date and laughed out loud. It certainly didn’t turn out how she’d expected. She sat back in her chair and did what she had been avoiding all night…compared him to Ray. Ray was so funny, and sweet. He listened so well. They could talk about anything. He made her laugh.

  She finished her margarita and rose to leave. She looked around at all the couples laughing and holding hands. Talking sweetly in each other’s ear, or laughing out loud. Although she walked out with her head held high, her heart was sinking.

  ~~~

  Ray was having trouble sleeping. He felt horrible about what happened with Steffy. Steffy was his neighbor and she had come to borrow some ice, and well, they ended up in a compromising position in front of his fridge. He didn’t know how he let it happen…but it did. Ice, heat, zippers undone and feelings he hadn’t had for a long time. Okay, he felt great too, but it was a bittersweet feeling. Steffy had gone back to her apartment, bowl of half melted ice in hand, to entertain. She hadn’t even invited him! He laughed, boy, did he have a lot to learn about the modern woman. Even in college, the girls weren’t as wild as Steffy. He smiled, reliving the moment.

  Unfortunately, he felt guilty because of Amanda. Here he was trying to get her to trust him, and he has sex with another woman. Not that there was anything wrong with that, after all, they weren’t a couple, in fact, they’ve never even met. Still, there was the whole principal of the thing. He doubted that he’d ever tell her about this misadventure. This, in itself, was the whole problem.

  He decided to call her. He had to hear her voice. He dialed the number for what seemed the hundredth time, expecting to hear the voice on her answering machine.

  “Hello?”

  Ray was quiet waiting to hear the rest of the message.

  “Is anybody there?”

  Ray sat up. She had answered! “Mandy?” He was so afraid she’d hang up when she heard his voice.

  She didn’t. “Hi Ray. How are you?”

  “I’m great now that I’m hearing your voice. How are you?”

  She was happy to hear Ray’s voice, too. She needed a friend right now. “I’m okay, hanging in there, I guess.”

  “I’ve missed you. I know that’s silly, but I did. You’ve become such a huge part of my life, that without you on the other end of this asinine phone; my life is a little bit emptier.” He held his breath. He knew this was a lot to throw at her right away, but he had to catch his moment when he could. This was it.

  “I miss you too, Ray. More than you know. More than I understand. Guess what?”

  Ray was stunned into silence. He fought off the lump in his throat. “What?” It was a whisper.

  “I went out on a date tonight.”

  Again, he was shocked into silence, this time for an entirely different reason. “How was it?”

  “It sucked.” She proceeded to tell him about her date, leaving out nothing. “The whole night, all I could think about is how he wasn’t you.”

  This brought the biggest smile to Ray’s face. “Really?” He couldn’t believe this.

  “Yes, really. There’s something about you, Ray Knight. Here’s the thing though. Can we still be friends if I date?”

  “We have no true commitment, Mandy. Yes we can be friends.”

  “So when we talk, I can tell you about them and stuff?” She knew she was crossing the line, but she wanted this on her terms.

  “Can I date?”

  It was her turn to be shocked. She hadn’t considered that! “Yes, of course.” What else could she say?

  “I can tell you all about them too?”

  “No.”

  “What? Why can’t I?” Ray was laughing hysterically on the inside. He had predicted this. It was so Amanda.

  “I don’t want to hear about your prowling, Ray. You go for it, but I don’t want to hear the details.” She was seething. Yet, she deserved it so she held her tongue.

  Ray laughed aloud this tim
e. “You’re so full of it, girl!”

  Amanda laughed too. “I’m a woman, and we women are fickle. Deal with it!”

  Ray changed the subject. “Mandy, are we made up?”

  She smiled. “I think so. For some reason unknown to me, we seem to be stuck with each other.”

  “That’s great! This makes me so happy. Thank you, Mandy.”

  “Thank you for what?”

  “For being you.” Ray wished part of the making up process included kissing, but he was content with them just talking. They talked for another few minutes before saying goodnight, Ray feeling better than he had in days. When he turned out the light, he rolled over and had thoughts of her running through his mind, his escapade with Steffy all but forgotten.

  ~~~

  Ray woke up feeling better than he had in ages. Things were looking up for him. He’d discovered that women were still attracted to him. Amanda had finally forgiven him; and this was the best part of all.

  Ray was again startled at a knock on the door. He laughed at himself, hell, if it was anything like last nights surprise he should be anything but afraid. He opened the door without even looking out of the peephole.

  “Ray Knight?”

  It was a Fed Ex deliveryman. “Yes?”

  “Please sign.” He held out a form and gave him an oversized envelope. “Have a nice day.”

  Ray opened up the envelope. It was a letter from his lawyer reminding him of his obligations, both in court and at the class, he’d scheduled. Ray was dreading both, but was glad to be getting it underway. His three-hour long class on being divorced was on Monday, and then his first interaction at the courthouse with Carrie was Thursday. He had no idea what that would be like, or how she’d receive him. They hadn’t spoken in weeks.

  Next, the phone rang. Ray raised an eyebrow. So much activity before his shower! “Hello?”

  “Hi Mr. Knight, its Marlene down at the desk, I just wanted to let you know there’s a package here when you come down.”

  Ray was surprised. “A package huh? Ok, I’ll be down after breakfast.” He wondered who was sending him a package. He went to take his shower, eager to go down and solve the mystery.